For you I am so worried,
Getting myself worked up into a flurry.
I need to know you’re safe,
Or if I need to take you out of that place.
To me you are my world,
For you I’d destroy the world.
To you I am an annoyance,
Always questioning your safety.
I fear that one day you may snap,
And turn around and hate me.
I just hope on that day you choose to live your life safely.

Writing, for me, is an escape.
An escape from the hatred that surrounds me.
An escape from the people who want to hurt me.
An escape from the people who send attackers after me.
An escape from the people who use others to get at me.
An escape from the darkness that lives within me.
An escape from the darkness that lives in you.

For ten years I have poured my energy into you,
For ten years you have just said ***** you.
You all stand there,
All three of you.
Watching me fade away into nothingness,
Enjoying the sight of my growing emptiness.

I give you love and affection,
You give me abjection,
Hurt and despair.
Am I truly deserving of such negative inflection?
Have I in that time hurt you, as you hurt me?
Or have I showed you that I care?

I’d love to say no more,
But I am not that person that you seem to deplore.
I am here but I have feelings too,
Not everything in this world is about you.

I have come to a crossroads in my life,
Pain goes left and suffering right.
Do I turn and take one road,
Or do I stay here with nowhere to go.

I am at a loss as to what I should do,
If only I had some guidance,
Maybe even from you.
Someone somewhere, just tell me what to do.

I really need some help,
But this you already know.
I stand on my own,
With nowhere to go.

Here I am in limbo,
Waiting for someone to want to know.
Here I am feeling empty,
Fighting the ebb and flow.

I try to be happy,
But life has other ideas.
I try to be a good man,
Yet all I feel is pain through these tears.
Maybe one day it’ll all be worth it,
Or maybe I’ll be dead.

Life is hard,
In this I have no doubt.
If my experience has taught me anything,
It’s that there really is no way out.
When you find one,
Don’t bother to shout.
When I approach,
It’ll just shut down.

Do I give into the darkness?
Or do I continue on regardless?

Will there ever be a time when you consider my feelings?
Or will I, to you, always hold no meaning?

My emotions are not toys to be played with.
My heart is hardly beating.
From all this pain and struggle,
I’m barely able to continue feeling.

I tell you my feelings don’t matter,
But really I think they do.
My cold and weary heart is struggling,
Yet desperate to continue.

Every time you take,
more of me falls away.
There will come a time,
Although not on this day,
When there is nothing of me left.
Not even my remains.

But hold back your tears and remain strong of heart,
Because you don’t need me anyway,
You didn’t from the start, nor any other day.

I’ve had times in my life that make me unworthy.
I’ve committed acts that make people what to swerve me.
Knowing what I know now,
and if I could do back to the days of early,
Would I still be so undeserving?
Or would the world serve me?
Would I be a king?
Or just another urchin?

Worrying about it now will never serve me.
So I try to make my future work for me.
Push on forwards, keep on fighting.
Maybe one day I will do the right thing.
And if I don’t at least I tried,
I’ll be able to say that on the day I die.