and once i've slept the sadness away
i'll awaken to the splendid light
dawning a new day

I am not fat
So please
Stop
Thinking It
I am beautiful
I am fit
I am so loved
More
Than I could even know
Could ever
Comprehend
At the foot of the cross
My soul
Feels the weight of a fraction
Of its worth.
A fraction
Is all I
Know, Because I cannot
Comprehend
The rest
May I rest
In you
At the foot of
The cross.
Think of this

I have loved
Well
I have been kind
I know happiness
Even joy
I am not fat
But my life holds
So much weight
Could never
Comprehend the weight
Of the rolls
Of ocean tides
Ripples far
and wide
The length of His
Love
Tides made when I give
His light
Kindness
The measurements
Of my steps

The folds of my flesh
Mimicking
The mountain range
Because He made me strong
and wonderfully smart
and vulnerable heart
and soul of gold
Bits and pieces of me kind
and in my mind
and body
He is there
Weighing me
Down
Pressing onto the scale
He is weighing me
Down
Holding me
Heart, mind, soul
Weight
So much, heavy
Love you’re heavy
Filled out
Pregnant, no
Obease
With His love
Kindness
Generosity
Grace
You are my
Love. He is
my kindness
He is
My generosity
Overflowing between every fold
Roll
More
each year
Growing
Multiplying in
Love
Generosity
Kindness
This is my weight.

of course I'd want you to come visit me in New York
take the subway to off broadway
make snow angles in Central Park
buy overpriced latte's in the glistening rain
but there are invisible bounds
and I must restrain
the bounds of a city
then marked by footprints
replaced now by loud freeways and hippies
the bounds of downtown
once marked by trees and spring beauties
roots once tangled and over grown
cemented over now by sidewalks and shows
the bounds of two souls enveloped in love
as friends not lovers
soul mates, kind of
if I move away
do the bounds bend and sway
or like a string break
and disintegrate away

Torn poster of a dead rockstar
the last 10 cents from a fractured piggy jar
broken cardboard spines
old forehead scar
smashed wine bottle
blood stain that will never come clean
I look around my room
I knew we were broken
how the hell did it it get this far

The reason why I walk around my room naked
is to embrace my sensuality
to fully experience the swaying of my atoms
that kiss the air hovering around me
blanketing me from the harshness of the world
To embrace the rivers traced on my hips
the planets dotted on my cheeks
and feel the passion as each thigh touches the other
in a lustful embrace with every step I take

i have my mother's skin
freckled and fair
my dad's nose
sloped and refined
my grandad's curiosity
vibrant and pestering
and my grandmother's voice
poetically overflowing

i have my mother's emotions
capricious and antagonistic
my dad's perfectionism
bleek and disciplined
my grandad's stubbornness
punctuated and impervious
and my grandmother's faith
gentle and unfailing

i am what i am
i am who i am
because they have raised me