Faces only remind you of
How lonely you are,
You say you've swam too far
Into the sea of your regrets
That I am your lifeboat
But didn't you hear
I sank long, long ago?

You've been searching
For a new home,
One that doesn't creak
Or shudder at night.
But homes are not people
And your voice cracks
As you point out
There's a welcome mat
By the front door
But I never answer
When you knock.

It's been a while since
I started attracting
Strangers with flashlights
To search me like
A haunted place.
I finally realized they
Were the ones that
Needed scaring away.

It's so odd to think,
You once told me
You saw beauty
In clifftops,
And I thought you
Were talking about
The view.

I thought I wanted to write a poem
mistakingly I guess I'm not .
Thought I could create something
masterful
I guess that idea is shot
Like false labor pains
I  thought it was going to come
But the pains just faded away
Now I know it's naught
My muse used to dance and sing
After midnight by the clock
Lately it's been going to bed
around eight thirty or nine o'clock
So I'm left out by myself
trying to do my best
But my best is pathetic
it simply can't pass the test
So now I say goodnight my friends
As I leave you with this mess

After all this time,
All this pain,
This stupid tears,
This broken heart,

It's always been you.

After all of my madness,
All of my ignorance,
All of my rejections,
All of my anger,

It's always been you. Still.

I just...
don't want you to hurt me again,
**carelessly.

you say you don’t feel,
you say you don’t care,
but I know once you get attached,
you love fiercely and loyally,
that you won’t let anyone hurt those you love,
I know that’d you tear the world apart for us,
and even if I object to being saved,
i know you’d try

******* into the wind,
my mind racing,
rabbits of confusion scattering.
Some come back,
some lost forever.
I can't remember your name
I can remember your frequency.
Stop calling me
I can't break the code.
White noise...
standing on a grassy hill,
the wind carves patterns through the ground.
It whispers sweeter than you do
but, you feel like home
and I so want to go there...

Why did you choose to swoop in and prey on me?
I am but a bee, relearning to fly; never managing to learn how to use my stinger.
Which is why I always starve.
I can't feed the queen.
I can't feed myself.
I run in the colonies of those who do just fine alone.
But I surely can not be.
I was learning.
I was learning to move my little bee feet, and learning to buzz on flowers to eat, and especially learning how to flow my wings with the breeze.
You were helping me.
And then one day you decided, that it just didn't matter if I knew how to eat, or fly, or even survive.
You just left in the blink of an eye.
That's honestly the day I said **** it and died.

I have words for love

I will love,
When I care
When in your pain I despair.

I will love,
When I'm hurt
When your words
cut deep as swords.

I will love,
When I wait
lonely by the patience's gate

I will love,
When I promise.
When my promise
Is broken and remade.

I will love,
When I love,
Even if you hate.