When I'm tumbling through
my DARKEST of dreams,
a vast blackness
of unwavering fear,
Your evanescent glow
flashes in
my hazy iris,
until I'm gently pulled
into the safety of
my haven of tears.

So tired
of being
everyone's second best.
Second rate,  side plate
leftover trash.
Second friend, Second lover
Second daughter, Second mother.
Never first.
My naïve heart
is filled
with ample LOVE,
always ready to give
to the surpluses,
but never on the receiving end.
I get their  leftover love
from a feeding tube,
but not enough to viably LIVE.
I want to be wanted.
I want to be cherished
I want to be LOVED.
In somebody's heart,
I want to be FIRST.

I know I'm
just a flower
in your garden
of admirers.

But I hope
you see
the difference
     between
a Wildflower and a Rose.

Let me live in the sky,
among the marshmallow clouds,    
Departing from
this nocturnal nightmare
where my innocence
is disgraced.

If given the chance,
we could make fireworks,
I'd ignite
the fire beating in your chest,
and create
a beautiful E X P L O S I O N.
I'd taste the sizzle on your tongue,
a searing blaze glowing in my mouth.
Wrapped up in our own fervid inferno,
we would
        melt together,
into a galaxy on fire.

Somewhere in the somber,
Your breath fills my lungs,
Shimmering me with unbridled
Moonlight.

Uninhibited by her
Brilliant pain,
She swims through
Her tears,
A sparkling River
Of life and madness.