In my mind,
There lives two wolves.
Two distinct voices.
Each telling me to make different choices.
How am I supposed to know which one to pick?
Quite honestly, the stress of it all is making me sick.
Is the right answer instilled in us?
In our heart and in our brain?
Or maybe two voices is all it will take to drive someone like me insane.

Missing you is the hardest thing I've ever done but just know what we had was beautiful

vc

They all say "only time could tell" but within the time, all I saw was her walking away with unspoken feelings she never talked about.
Was it just bad timing? Was it just a "caught up in the moment" type of thing? Or was it something she wasn't sure about?
I'll never know.

I continued to stay while she acted like she wanted me around. I kept coming back, thinking there would be a different result.
I was wrong.

She walked away and continued to come back as she pleased and swear it was more confusing than algebraic math.
It was like trying to teach a toddler how to tumble.

I gave in; my all with everything that came out of her actions and her lips. We kissed and I was confused on why I cried, 3 weeks in.. Strangers to lust in between.

You'll never be her

She was my first. She was my first date, my first love, the first one I wanted to build a home and have a family with.

Her face was the first to meet my family. Heck, she became part of our family. She was the first girl my mother loved for me.

She too was my first heartbreak; the first one to build me up and break me down. Her knowledge of me was the same as my knowledge of myself.

But she too will never be you.

She'll never be the one who picked me up when I thought I was never going to get back up.

No matter what she does, she'll never be able to love me as much as you do. She'll never know me more than I know myself like you do. She could never make me realize that I'm worth more than I think I am. She could never make me feel any happier and more contented like you could.

My love, know that you should never compare yourself to my past. There's a reason why she's there and you're here with me right now. The reason is because you are the one I love.

You are a gift from above. You are my present. Everyday I pray that you remain my present when tomorrow comes, and God knows I would do anything to keep you.

So do not bother yourself about it. Shed your worries away, for as much as you'll never be her, she will never be you.

When she says she feels safe in your arms while you're cuddling her & she's squeezes you in closer. Keep her, she may feel like she's at the end of the world and doesn't think anyone actually cares for her. Its you, make her feel wanted, that there is a reason to stay, even if she says there isn't.. let her know that everything is going to be okay, let her release all the thoughts while you're holding her, let her shed some tears to see how beautiful life could actually be if someone actually cares.. That person is you, you're her comfort, her support, her smile, her headache, her right, her wrong. Its you, you have the power to make something right even if she's being stubborn.

Blonde hair, blue eyes
Freckled map upon your face
The brightest smile anywhere
They can see it out in space
A goddess so untouchable
Do you even know?
The things you do
When you walk by
Be it fast, or be it slow

A wisp of hair
A tilted head
A neck so long and sleek
A t-shirt with a stretched v-neck
That gives us a slight peek
Hands so slim
So delicate
They would snap
Given the chance
I would give my life
to hold you
Perhaps to even dance

Open up your heart
See if there is room
For someone other than yourself
In that dark and lonely room
Mere mortal men
they pile up
As you just break their hearts
So open up that one of yours
And make room for cupid's dart

Golden hair, just perfect
A diary of your day
Filled out in swirly writing
little hearts along the way
The page is full of what you did
But, it doesn't tell the tales
Of the destructive path you carved among
The audience of males
The ones who do your bidding
Pay your way
Carry torches
The ones who want nothing more
Than to sit with you
on their front porches

Like Taylor Swift
you cut and run
Leaving damage in your wake
They all get hooked
Upon your act
Before it is too late
A siren without water
No rocks to crush their dreams
But, still you leave the burned out hulls
Of these young men in the streams
They fall for that cute smile
And the slightest hint you drop
That you may have room inside you
To let them in, but then you stop
Are you scared or just inhuman
Have you feelings for someone
Other than yourself I mean
Are you happy when you're done
You move on through the world you've made
An ice queen on her throne
Is it fun up in your tower
Are you truly happy all alone

Open up your heart
See if there is room
For someone other than yourself
In that dark and lonely room
Mere mortal men
they pile up
As you just break their hearts
So open up that one of yours
And make room for cupid's dart