I've made a mistake
Left for my own sake
Now I'm alone
Beaten to bone
And here my heart does ache

Why can't I remember my past
Fleeting memories leave so fast

Like leaves in the wind
The numbers without end

One by one I can see them clearly
Still I can't hold them dearly

I want to remember what I was before
Was I happy, rich, lovely or poor

Who hurt me so bad that I can't remember
What made me- me, Jan. thru December

Illness from within.
Still I wish to end
This rotting of my corpse.
If not with sheer force,
Let nature take course.

Aching and bleeding inside,
There's nowhere to hide.
All the yelling and screaming,
With feeble meaning,
It's taking its toll
On my fragile soul.

Dark is all I see.
Longing liberty
For the sight of Sun,
What's done is now done.

I don't want to die
Your love is a lie
You used to sing in my ear
I remember as I lie here
My life is repetition
Your face in position
Actions become past
Your kisses were my last
What's done is done
You were my sun
My life is boring
Brain is snoring
Why do I miss you
You hurt me too
I want to have fun
But instead I'll buy a gun
My head I'll blow
My blood it'll flow
I just can't take no more
My heart is so sore
No one is here
No one to hear