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like a glove
no love
like a state
no hate
like a leaf
no fall
like a fort
no wall
like a frame
no art
like an end
no start
like a pond
no wave
like a soul

no

GRAVE


soulsurvivor
catherine jarvis
(C) october 9, 2014
(rewritten)
There was many a time I just sat in the corner of that old quiet room.
I loved it there
Just locked up away from the impurities of the world
Playing with the shadows and the imaginary friends of my ever so free creativity
Not knowing that they would soon become my worst enemy
That they would corrupt my mind and expose me to what I was hiding from for so long
I did not dare question it though for the fact that I feared of delving ever more into the darkness

After years that old room turned into the pigs sty of a ******* thirteen year old..who was me...
Always getting yelled at by his mother for wanting to be male and not his biological gender
Always getting hit for being pansexual and falling in love with everyone
Always on his phone and computer
Sending out many corrupting things and plotting many horrid deaths
But never to pursue his nightmarish dreams
Of blood and clowns and killers and laughter
The blank faces and blood red shadows staring at him through the mirror
Always hearing a blank whisper saying his name
His twisted thoughts now playing games
Making him...aka me...seem more insane.

Years from this present time
He...or me...will be alone in an apartment
Almost broke and in college
Trying to fulfill whatever far fetched dream I managed to dream up
But I won't still be okay.
I will be more alone then ever before
Allowing the dreadful shadows and imaginary friends that haunted my childhood to come back and corrupt me again
With no one to help me
Or hear me scream
©LogenMichel copyright 2014
Ominous tides control my mind
Killing me on the inside
Ageless hurt boiling in the pit of my soul
Yearning to be set free from the eternal prison I have made in my head

Ineffectually think of my impending doom

Fearing the person that I am slowly melting into
Equally hating myself for my sinful crimes
Eloquent words flowing off my hateful tongue
Leaving behind the once pure little girl inside

Deranged voices talking to me
Expecting me to comply
After death and before lie
Depression is my only truth

Nightfall arriving, perishing my once boisterous being
Opening the demon in my soul
W**** will not leave me alone
©LogenMichel copyright 2014
The scars.
I am covered in them.
The burns
The cuts
The scratches
The bruises
The peeled off  flesh and nails.
They are my t r e a s u r e s.
They show all of the battles inside of my head that I have lost.
They show all of the anger, pain, depression, envy, remorse, guilt, shame, insanity, emptiness, boredom, and tiredness I feel.
They show all of the words I am afraid to say.
They hold all of the I l o v e yous, I h a t e yous, I n e e d yous, and I feel
your p a i n s that I am afraid to even t h i n k at times.
They peek out from underneath my clothing and they rub against everything, reminding me that I am indeed alive and that I am indeed h u m a n.
They show all of the times I've screamed
Been alone
Been scared
Cried
Wanted to die
Had no one to be there
Wanted to stab someone and bash their brains in
Wanted to d i s s a p e a r into t h i n  a i r
Even though they remind me of some of the awful memories,
Being reminded of these memories and the lessons I have learned only makes me
s t r o n g e r
Whatever cruel entity, god, goddess, deity of any kind, gave me this cruel life thank you
You have made me wise
You make me think about how I am not the only person with these problems and how others have worse
But also *******  y o u for hurting so many innocent people and corrupting their
o n c e  p u r e  m i n d s
I will live with my scars and probably add more but I will always think of the cruel fates of others and how cruel the world truly is.
I will think of how grateful I am to have lived and how grateful I am to have not have gotten worse than what I have.
Thank you, you ******* life for showing me the right path
©LogenMichel copyright 2014

— The End —