Willow Branche

Willow Branche Jan 2020

A Different Kind of Fear (2019)

I’d much rather feel your palm upon my face
Than be faced with this controlling grace
The kindness you mean somehow doesn’t match up.
This control you have over me is ****** up.
No matter where I go - that’s where you are
No matter what I do - you never let me go far.
Afraid to say no. Afraid to disagree.
Afraid to love. Afraid to be me.
How far do I have to run from you
To be free from your grasp?
Your heartstrings curl around my neck as I gasp.
Screaming under water, where no one can hear
Screaming under deep blue waves of pain
Still no one can hear me.
Screaming under the white wash
It’s always going to be her fault
Gasping for air but only getting salt
Still gagging and grasping
And no one can hear
She’s afraid to be alive
She’s afraid to be
here.

#abuse #marriage #divorce #pain #depression #anxiety

Willow Branche Jan 2020

Settling Is Only Easy When Your Choice Says No (2019)

Cat-calls and glances meant to sting
**** her heart - what a tired thing.
“Too big a heart” she spoke before.
Now her heart, it pleads “No more!”
She caresses my bones, fluid, moaning
This empathy leaves me open, groaning
Confusion settles in like a sickness.
What can she possibly do to fix this?
So she settles for the knife like
She settles for the pipe
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
Nothing anymore. Sweating. Broken.
She swears her heart will never reopen.
The pain in her eyes, left unspoken
She swears at God hoping someone will hear her choking.
What can she do to fix this?
So she settles for the knife
Like she settles for the pipe.
She’d rather take her life
Than be bound to this strife so
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.

#cutting #selfharm #druguse #drugs #pain #suffering #settling #suicide #suicidal #marriage

Willow Branche Jan 2020

Balance (2019)

Awake in my nightmare
He calls out my name
He chases me while I search for a vein.
Ripping through flesh
Starving through tears
Why had she stayed for so many years?
She’s addicted to him
Like she is to her drug
Confusing pain and confusing love.
She dances around him
Screaming her name
“**** this! No more stupid games!”
Blissfully dancing
on shoes made of glass
She’s tripping again
She’s falling too fast
This pain that she balances
On the tips of her toes
Jagged little pieces
Jagged little stones
She says “He’s different!”
She says he’s the same
She says he’s not one for playing games.
Blissfully dancing
On shoes made of glass
She’s tripping again
She’s falling too fast
The pain that she balances
Nobody knows
Of the jagged little pieces.
Of the jagged little stones.

#depression #suicidal #suicide #marriage #divorce #pain #perfect

Willow Branche Jun 2019

Written by W. W.

She sighs a breath, heavy and weary.
Her spirit is broken, her heart becomes dreary.
Her eyes, forlorn with the secrets she keeps,
Her mind is restless, for never she sleeps.
Her limbs are in shackles, unable to move,
Her belly too twisted to digest her food.
The days turn to weeks, as she begs for escape,
Her nightmares turn real as her demons take shape.
She screams for release from her personal Hell,
But her throat closes tight and her eyes start to well.
Her vision turns dark and her chest burns hot,
She reaches for help with the last strength she’s got.
Her soul curls and hardens, as her pain starts to billow,
Her suffering finally takes form:
A Weeping Willow.

Amanda Lynn Houck (2019)

Willow Branche Mar 2018

Missing Him (2018)

He used to care for my wounds like each one was too fragile to touch.
Now he just looks at each scar in disgust.
His eyes once soft for my pain, have come to grow cold.
It’s as if to him, my suffering has grown old.
He used to lay with me each morning and trace his fingers on my skin.
Now patience has become sin.
He would always use his words to ease my darkened thoughts.
But now when I’m lost, he just shuts himself off.
My anxiety and depression used to be met with understanding and love.
But after 8 years, I guess he’s done all that he could of...
The day he asked for my hand was one of the happiest days of my life.
Now each day is met with strife.
Each thing I use to say to him would be listened to with care.
Now it’s like I’m not even there.
We used to communicate without a problem or fight.
But now every word is said with a bite.
Each cut that I made on my skin would lead to an empathetic kiss.
Now each one adds distance.
His heart was so pure but now it’s so hard to access.
Where did my love go that I used to know best?
And will it be like this for the rest?

#depression #anxiety #selfharm #cutting #missing #love #marriage #sadness #depressed #suicidal