The air is getting thick I can't breathe anymore The dark clouds follow me When will this nightmare end This vicious cycle of pain Please stop the pain The stress is eating me alive I'm fragile and weak No job is worth this fear I need money not pain I'm not me anymore Confused on what to do I have everything to lose All I want is to breathe again
It seems as though my emotions are making their great escape. Believe me when i say i've tried to turn the page. But there's nothing of value deep inside this rib cage. Do people really feel this empty at such a young age? What's to come if you can never fully immerse yourself in it? Even when things are imminent, you find yourself wishing your feelings were infinite. For years my new normal has been stuck in rock bottom. But now that seems to be less of a problem. Oh dear god what i would give to just be me again. To feel like i've been taken apart piece by piece is the last thing i wanted when i set my mind to mend. So where is the silver lining? I guess i could just blame it all on bad timing. I just wish trying to be me again wasn't so **** tiring.
She was so lucky. Friends. Several of them. All of them kind and real and amazing. School. So kind and real and amazing. Nobody scans her as she walks the halls. Nobody judges her every choice.
Nobody notices when she chooses to eat information instead of food. Nobody realizes she notices the little glances just barely within her sight Or the muffled snickers Or the sly comments.
Nobody knows how absolutely aware she is. Nobody hears her trembling breaths in the bathroom silenced by the palm of her hand. Nobody could ever know how hard it is to ignore all of it; how hard it is to not hate yourself; how hard it is to hide everything carefully packaged under the confines of her undershirt.
Nobody can tell that inside those bulging rolls is simply a girl with social anxiety and insecurities beyond mental health. Nobody sees her bury her feelings in her sparse salads and amaranthine assignments. Nobody sees her.
Why am i loving this feeling? Buzz, the killing type Don't know but, in a way I know exactly What's going on Trying to interface, between I and the photos that you call real life Gathering actions, it takes me a few minutes to understand.