Have they changed their color?
Has the odious gray fog seeped and sweat across his eyes silently concealing resentment for you?
Has his eyebrows quirked and scorned at your words, has his mouth flexed against the fiery brush?
Have pupils swelled catastrophically into black holes denying the mind of order, rampant with chaos?
Have the monsoons of desire crushed your sanity,
Has she tainted your memories with splintered, broken glass?
Has your conscious been deflated, slashed by the deceiving hands of a love so massive it crumbled the earth below you!?
Have the waters of that sorrow drenched your clothes and sloshed the mud of years of mental clenching, under your bare toes?
If this be true, how come you stand ignorant on the roofs of your drowning houses crying for the birds to sing to you, only to have the vultures screeching down apon you,
"Why did you scare them all away" ?
                             -----------
Do you understand now?
You may reside in this land of debris and trash and broken things, but tis your home you will wallow in.
To live in places of this kind, where the sun doesn't shine and the birds don't sing, is on your own doing,
your own catastrophe, your own problem.
Your own problem.

I can guide you, but only you can rebuild you.
This is my last stop,
I'm done riding your manic train of thought.

I cannot give to those who chase after storms,
for the eye of the storm is,
and always will be
a placid façade surrounded in death.

©Dylan Christopher Whisman

Once I soared on an angel with steel wings,
through a piercing blue sky
over the dark belly of a Gulf,
to a land unknown to me.
Stepping out of the airlock turned my clothes into hot laundry
as the warm culture washed over me and my family.
Me in my ten year old body had never left the states,
it was my turn to be the minority.
Akumal,
a small but sprightly tourist town,
filled with little shops and nooks 'n crannies to explore.
My family and I would stay at a private resort for ten days
that rested upon white sands and crystal waves that constantly
licked and salted the air along with the fishermen’s boats.
Crashing splashing crashing,
always the sound of the blue waves crashing.
The birds sing their foreign songs.
Day,
sweltering and bright,
the wee little town of Akumal stirred with life.
Pesos clicking in pockets of fruit buyers,
the treble of am radio words fly through the air.
Clouds of dirt from the road follow run-down trucks and cars,
kids kick around a melon in the street.
Never had to know Spanish to know what happiness sounded like.
At the resort was a more calming scene.
The wind gust across the warm sand, occasionally knocking down a coconut into the squishy sand.
They always tasted like salt water, but my sister and I kept cracking them open, like there might be a pearl inside one of them.
The outside resort had a bar next to the beach, serving the little ones
Pina Coladas and Banana Smoothies. The bartender was an ecstatic man, always with a wide grin of joy, and a loud machine gun laugh.
Night,
the sun would go to sleep, but the ground below was awake
in the shine of the moon, they would come in hundreds.
Hermit ***** would skitter across wooden floors                                                           ­       and blocked out the sand on the beach.
The people of the resort would gather in a beach-side restaurant called "La Buena Vida" or "Living the Good Life".
With its rope swings and crows’ nests, I’d linger in this pirate ship,
bringing my food up in a bucket and laugh down at the others.
Even the condos we stayed in were not familiar.
They felt like native Mexican homes, with the pastel color walls and creative tiled floor.
Falling in and out of sleep there was the ever present crashing splashing smashing of the waves,
and the lullabies of the night birds.
The sun would stretch its way out of the ocean in vibrant hues
and the hermits scurried back to their holes.

©Dylan Whisman.

i've heard some say that passion burns without a word,
i try to think my passion is etched into the words I write.
but there is something wrong, all the things in this life of mine, have been sparks,
and in a blizzard of doubt, I fail to ignite my soul.

my childhood seemed like a warm flicker in the past,
my great friends,
i watched them grow up with me
in a flash of light.
i watched some flicker on and off,
some even snuffed out by our own beliefs.

love has had me, and love has left me,
we all know the heat of that fire.

even with all these flashing lights,
none of the embers seem to light the damp wood stacked neatly in my soul.

but in this blizzard of doubt, I strive to ****** the flame to ignite my soul,
so I might feed my warmth to those who need the comfort of a friendly light.

i looked in the mirror at my bearded face
and peered into my eyes.
and saw all the things I hated.
hypocrisy.
ignorance.
jealousy.
confusion.

in that moment
i became something I hated,

i can't be this person.

the weight of the world has arrived,
landing right on my shoulders.
a blazing comet has hit me in the chest,
electrifying my heart and mind.
i've taken kindly to this comet
that burns through my broken heart.
a little heat and it was mended,
now you are melting it into my hands.
and the breath from my words can't help,
the full moon curses at me, "you asked for this love you ******* idiot, are you happy now?!"

I love this comet,

i do.

but it burns far greater than me.
I'm terrified to drop you,
you magical being.
i see your cracks,
and i don't want to break you.
I don't want to hurt you.
"god ****** Dylan!"

Therefore I don't deserve this ball of light,
you clasp of life,
I am not worthy...

i woke up screaming...
red eyes watery clear,
sheets damp with chills of fear,
darkness tip toed around my bed,
confusion swept 'n smothered my head,
yet a warm flower bloomed in me chest,
and the caress of her hand cleansed me of thy mess,
lips of velvet kissed me so near,
sweet whisper climbed my face and licked my ear,
"you are so loved, shut your mouth silly head,
"embrace me my love, and come back to bed."

head heavy with the weight of an ocean,
thoughts gasp for air over the crests of waves.
once was a stone lodged in my heart
polished by the waters of my mind,
heated by the flames of frustration and
quenched by the sleet of sorrow,
now a diamond embeds from me,
protrudes from my center.
you
neither can i remove you or re-create you,
you ******* gem.

loving and being in love,
such a massive gap i fail leap,
my love is pointless to you dear,
can't you see?
sick in the mind
sick in the heart
why must you want me so?

a chime ticks in a window
my head grows a pulse
thump thump thump thump
silence.
static violins whisper
buzzing electricity annoying
i fear this is the final night,
ride my dreams into deaths carriage
what is going on up there?
a little man shedding paper and smoking a cigar
in my head.
I need air, I can't swallow.
the truth?
the lie?
yeah there stuck.

"I want to say something filled with so much truth that it will rattle your world. I want to say things like "you are more than enough" and "they define you by image, but the soul is a grander thing." I want to say "you will find love if you haven't already and if you have, love is forever." I want to tell you what you want to hear and what is easy to say but honestly, there is a wolf in me that no longer wants to tell you these things. He believes them to a certain point but he has learned to harden up, to remove any fearlessness and clothe himself with so much truth that God is no longer a word and science ceases to exist. The wolf wants to say "God ****** just be you and go get into trouble and be strange and different and loving and consume whatever makes you feel the most in that moment." He wants to say this because he knows it is what most people will do anyways and he also wants to do it himself, we grin at madness delivered to us in simple forms. Chaos so easy to obtain as if we were born with it in our mouths. I will not try to change you because change is inevitable but so too, is remaining the same. I cannot tell you what kind of person to be and I never will all I can hope is that you know and understand how ******* beautiful this earth is, this universe, and that you love whatever is around to love because love is felt in thousands of forms and I have this belief that if we all strive to feel it, no matter which form it is in, we will come to the flaming realization that we all come from the same dust and all other thoughts tossed out way in false bravado are irrelevant."
-Christopher Poindexter

I look through the telescope
once more into the wide abyss,
i see two things,
a sun,
a black hole inside it,
ever present,
keeping me warm
with gentle sunburn.
I also see a star,
white and shining
through the black mass.
though miles away
tis a sun,
to me,
tis a star next
to a blazing sun.

why must you set the bar
so high?
I get caught in the rip current
in your eyes,
they drag me far away
to that beautiful place
where my worries don't exist.
I want to meet someone else
who can fill my pale skin with color,
to rid of the gray clouds over my head,
just like you can.
but you've set this bar so high,
how can I give them a chance.

If you were to come along
and see the beauty
through my gentle eyes,
without having to rip the skin
from my flesh to search inside.

From an old Spanish galleon
sleeping under covers of sand and shells,
I would dive to steal us
the finest wine,
for you my love.

then i would slice up the moon
to add them to our crackers.
and if we kissed in the darkness
with no question on our lips,
i'd love you even more.

if you close your eyes for a long
time,
and you rap your eyes in your dark blanket eyelids,
shadows turn into swirls of yellow light
as the blazing sun shines through your skin.

and when you begin to doze off
you open your eyes

the earth is so *vibrant

I sped away one evening
through my busy little town,
gliding,
music occupying my mind,
riding down hills,
leting the wind run its fingers through my hair.

i arrived at a dusty trail that led to an old water tower
that looked over the town like a sentinel.
sweaty and redfaced i followed the trail,
my acoustic music hid behind background of everything,
a magical glow lay at the edge of the trail.
as the fiery light lit my face aflame,
i knew i was apon something special.

shining magnificently,
the most beautiful smile i had ever seen.
twas a loving smile,
the lips were brown and chapped,
the horizon illuminated it's glistening orange teeth,
the old rusty water tower became a black beauty mark,
my friends were up resting in its dimple, waiting for me.
an amazing crooked grin,
a smile so sure shot with joy,
it filled the cracks in my heart
and had me yelping with rushing happiness.

the universe giggled back
"your welcome";)

a melody of the song floats threw your mind
and whispers honey in your ears,
warmth ascends through your heart,
skin ***** with the sound of music.

the canvas crimson leaves drift in the autumn wind,
passing two souls in a park, a boy is gazes at
a girl holding an orange balloon, though time is still, you catch yourself whispering, "hold her hand."

the scene is a slamming door that echoes mistakes,
a mom bends down to pick up the their broken glass,
a child with her doll weeps silently in her room, you cry
with her on your couch as the screen turns black.

precious words scribbled on a page, or beautiful little words typed on a screen. you read the page, mind agape.
you begin prepared, but you end the last word in awe.
speechless you think, what am I feeling? what's going on?

Duende.

most people will say,
that the only thing that heals a broken heart,
is time.
time kills everything, and also births many things.

but I ask the people,
what if every time our eyes meet,
every word she speaks,
every laugh she giggles,
every text she sends,
every time her smile shines off her loving face.

every encounter we have
seems to stop time in its tracks.
what do I do then?
I only have one heart, and it's already broken.

I see them,
you see them,
everyday.
broken down.

they want to be able to love again.
they too, wish to be held, in a warm embrace.
with a sweet constriction with no restriction.

yet no one wants to mend a broken heart, a heart in tatters.
no, they'll keep wishing for some other strong heart,
a used heart with many miles on it.
most humans will look at that accident, and they'll stare,
and keep going on with their life,
with out a thought.

please be remarkable,
please let there be difference.
when you see that wreck in the coffee shop, looking sad
at their own reflection in the window.
pull up next to her,
sit with him,
charge your happy eyes,
your brilliant smile,
spark their soul.

jump start them.

the storm has settled.

finaly I wake,
sway sway,
on board a small sailboat, big enough for three.
white seeps through cracks in wood,
creek creek,
my bare feet,
salt clings to my face,
my damp body,
creek creek,
walks across a floor cluttered.
the water whispers against the hull,
I rest in a gentle cradle,
sway sway.

I open the hatch,
no wind,
moonlight on the sound of the sea,
sway sway,
the air is cool.

I look around,
no land,
moonlight on the sound of green endless water,
sway sway,
the moon peers down at me.

the sea reflects the sky,
sway sway,
a quiet energy swirls around, and around,
a chilling nothing is the sound,
destination not yet birthed.
sway sway,
I lay apon the floor,
staring at a wide sea sky,
tiny breezes lick the foam,
sprinkle the stars,
I wonder not my location,
or why and how.

I'm going to be here awhile.

my chest aches from loneliness, from the lack of her being,
from the absence of her lifting presence.
the presence that rings out my heart, drips the pain away, and drys with the sunshine from her eyes,
the warmth of her deep voice.
I once rode in her car late at night,
my being couldn't contain my happiness.
It was like we hot boxed that car with our beautiful vibes,
her voice resonating with mine as we sang the wrong lyrics,
she took me so high,
I loved it,
I love her still ******.
as we pulled up to my house evey fiber in my being wanted to kiss her,
fill her with my energy
Let her lips water the dying garden in my heart.
I knew her love was not for me, we couldnt be.
so I rapped my arms around her and kissed her head,
the smell of her hair set off an alarm in my brain, one I can never seem to turn off.
and I left the car,
the high wore off,
but my head kept ringing.

Let each pluck,
tug on the strings of your heart.
let the moon soak you in its moonlight,
let it wash away your worries.
allow your voice to resonate in your chest,
vibrate in your soul.
breath in the cold night air,
Let it carry you to a higher place.

As my dear friend cried, angry with tears of frustration,
she said with quiver in her throat,
"How do you never get angery, your always so calm?"
"I want to be calm like you"
well,
my dear, my sweet rose,
it is more simple than it looks.
you must let your heart drive and your brain ride passenger,
you must except that life will hurt you deeply,
but only with good intention.
Keep your love,
your beautiful brilliance,
and cling to the ones who beat you with harsh words,
use your furry and fill them with your love
untill they realize,
the harm they blindly cause, and how they need you,
more than they know.

sleep has become a boring chore,
another thing I would rather not do.
I'd rather have the moonlight rap me in his dainty arms,
then feel the cold lack of presence.
but that too is long a distance,
far, out of sight in plain view.
we may claim to be a strong,
but the arms of another melt soul into stillness,
the stillness of a lake perfect for skipping stones.
my heart craves a partner for the dance of the bed,
***, no.
for love, a much slower dance.
for the soft touch of our noses,
the shallow breath on our flesh,
our eyes,
will devour us whole,
and that's quite alright.
for when your skin is so soft and you slip through my arms and melt into my chest,
I will be so happy.
I will finally sleep,
knowing I will see you in the morning.

Her eyes are dark and mysterious as endless space,
Her hair is  as sweet and soft bed of flowers.
Her angelic softness is beyond belief, imperfect to perfection.
Her embrace, that rejuvenating warmth that illumination from her being.
she clings to my mind like a cute parasite,
burrowing into the cracks of my dreams
my thoughts are swallowed away by her magnificence
and I can't help but feed that desire.
Her presence cradles my soul with brut force.

i pray that one day my soul will evolve and move on,
but every time I inch away, she bursts from my heart like butterfly and flutters around my conscious, unwilling to be caught.

i am but a shy lion,
afraid to roar at the setting sun as it slips away,
day after day.

the bow turns a cheek as the stern takes a seat,
his mind slips away as his heart begins to sink.
he is the Capitan of a sinking ship.
all alone in the dark sea,
crew has fled, hope is dead.
he is the Capitan of a sinking ship.
his ship turns a ruptured belly, growling and groaning,
he is not flinched from his lonely cabin.
he is the Capitan of a sinking ship.
the cold rain is warm to his touch,
the frothy brine envelopes his face,
he is the Capitan of a sinking ship.
he last thinks of the storm he couldn't miss.
floating down, to meet his love, in the vague abyss.
he was the Capitan of a sinking ship.

Winters dead tree, gloomy to life below,
It wants to come back,
So it reaches up to a black sky and with slender fingers.

It let go of its leaves when needed most,
The birds have left it no more substance,
It owns no fruit, the bark cracks as it freezes, it waits.

Not the sun, but a delicate light finds them,
In a blanket of death, and it embraces the earth and melts with the dirt,
And the bird simply finds another tree.

The rain has stopped, yet the ground stays wet here,
No longer able to absorb the storm,
The collection of it sits there, heavy and thick as mud,
In time, the ground begins to rot and decay,
An infestation roots deep in the flesh,
even worms will dare to dwell through this blight.

Snails and slugs shall follow,
Willing, they know they belong here,
They cherish this place of mold,
They sweat and break their sanity to hold it high,
They protect this place of mildew,
They know one day the sun shall show its golden face,
She will flash her redeeming eyes on this rotten place
Digging her muddy hands through the soil,
They shall step away and watch with joy as new flowers bloom.

I lay askew and unfilled,
Grasping for an invisible something that I swore was there,
Scraping an imperceptible sea that scented of meadow,
A silky soft touch of blazing embrace,
A curdling pop in my chest retracts my arms to a pale chest,
My heart lay in waste, wishing to ooze itself from a ribcage that binds it in confusion.
Darkness licks my skin into cold bumps of sorrow,
My left mind screams in defiance as the right side rapes,
"Why do you just sit there and sulk!
The ashes you lay on are old, do not eat them,
Let them scatter into the wind,
May the rain cleanse not drown,
And the lightning strike you a brighter perspective."

He is always there for her, yet she cries a sad call.

For he rises her emotions but always lets them fall.

Most days he's with her, skinny and tall,

But sometimes he'll skip being there at all.

Then he collects himself to put on his best,

He lets himself shine and sticks out his chest.

She lights up a bit brighter, sadness gone from her soul,

But he will always fade away, to watch her slip out of control.

From looking down, you look up to see,
The sky is full of billions of stars,
Some are faint,
Some are bright.

Then there are those that twinkle and shine,
Ones that turn your head, that make you gasp for air,
You look through your telescope,
You gaze, to find something more than a star.

An unknown universe,
Spectacular, magnificent, just brilliant,
Planets of green, comets of golden fire,
A nebula of neon, a sun of warmth.

And you wonder, if in that same universe,
Through a telescope, they look at you,
Wondering if you will come far,
To dash, to fly to their twinkling star.