I’m tired

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

I’m tired of over thinking

I’m tired

I’m tired of it all

I’m tired of her

I’m tired of him

I’m tired of this feeling

Deep inside my chest

That makes me want to rip everything out

Tear me to shreads

But I can’t do that

I can’t have another 11 a.m. kitchen sink surgery

I’m tired of crying

Tired of feeling guilty

Tired of feeling unloved

Tired of forcing myself to eat

Tired of shaking

Tired of feeling empty

Tired of being numb

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always sleeping

I’m tired of forcing myself to do things

I’m tired of wanting to be liked

I’m tired of hating my body

I’m tired

I’m tired

He ****** me off
I hated him to my core
I wanted to **** him and leave behind so much gore
His head for my mantle
His heart for my stew
His soul for my brew.
But I could not
I've fought
He was stronger
My will to live I had no longer
Many attempts
And damage hidden
No I'm not kiddin'
I tried to **** myself
No one noticed
How could they
For them I was just prey
As unnoticeable as grey
But soon I saw
What I had ceased to notice
People cared
To hang out with me people did dare
I had friends
Who didn't want my life to end.
I stopped cutting
And started to smile
I swallowed my bitter bile
My sadness left
Happiness came back
But soon came the counter-attack
Junior High was a *****
Although I never had to get a stitch
Pain and Injury came abound
And my friends left me all around
I wasn't cool
I was a tool
My happiness left
Sadness returned tenfold
Someone came and made my life well...
A LIVING HELL
Back came the failed attempts.
Poisoning, Strangulation, drowning, asphyxiation  
And it all swept across my small nation
I never did have a vacation
From my close friends suicidal and Madness
Least of all sadness
But came high school
New friends
An old end
A new beginning
It got better
I never would have thought
That after I stopped and fought my feelings
That people would come back
Friends who shared my interests
Pessimistic
Yeah I still am
But I no longer wanted to be run over by a tram
People cared
That's all that it took
As if it all were from a storybook

My demons are friends
That will send me faster to my end
They are my foes
That make want to chop off my toes
'Cause even an idiot knows
That a madman's shriek
Is from the madness peak
So peer
My dear
At my exterior
Skinny, pimply, glasses
Now my feet drag as if through molasses
My interior?
Is where my poetry reigns superior
My demons come out to play
Night and day
A price to pay
My rage
That makes one want to turn the page
My fear
That makes one shed a tear
My fumbles
That ultimately humbles
So you see
The real me
The me thats sad
Lil more than mad
The me that seems to be
Something different

I'll walk down the halls
Hand in Hand
Ready to take a stand
Music of macabre origin then plays
"This dance if I may?"
I wear my best noose.
So obviously Obtuse
This ball
Is the ultimate call
For the crazy's
To have a death day party
Our lives never were so hearty.
Shoes made of razor blades
Bloodied nursemaids
Punch is spiked with cyanide
To evoke a lethal tide
Pop a pill maybe 4
That way there is less gore
Less to clean
Please don't be mean
Knives glitter darkly
Our faces grimaced tartly
Cut and slice
Stab and dice
Blood will fall
And run down the halls
For you see my dear
Do not fear
For in these halls
Lurks the suicidal ball.

Just Jesus
Save me
I'm angry and sad
No-where near bad
My clothes a long forgotten fad
Depression? Just a tad
But sometimes I'm glad
Allies and friends
To my bitter end
Making me smile
The stuff they do it biguiles
Never before
Have I felt like waging a war
But these friends keep me away
From the evil of today
The only ones holding me back
From a self attack
But its always true
When I fell blue
That life is well...
Inexplicably HELL

Dear Dear
Please do not shed a tear
Please do not drown what you feel in beer
Please I feel enough fear
Please I just need you to hear
Everything I felt should be crystal clear
Please do not worry your head
Please do not fill with dread
I wish to suppress my emotions
I do not wish to add any negative connotations
Just acknowledge the denotations
Please for my sake
For everything else that they will take

Simply speaking,
Even dreaming
Seeing
Believing
There they die
Wave goodbye
Farewell innocence
Pay my penance

You've angered me
As you'll no doubt see
So far inside
Swallowing cyanide
My demons struggle
Against my cage.
For they cannot be contained even by a mage
I'll let them peak out for a second.
The ultimate weapon.
Attack with fury
Blood splatter
Does it even matter?
For I'm as mad as a hatter
But with incentive nonetheless
Try to beat me at my best
You insolent pest.
You've attacked the nest
You've failed the test
My mind corrodes
Memory lane now a road
Blurry and speeding by
Scarcely can say hi.
All I'll ever be
Is less than me
So you see
In the depths of my mind
A labyrinth a maze
My vision a haze
I'll let him out for a minute
Time enough to hit it
Time enough to end it