I could coat this love with chocolate
But, love, that wont stop the rot of it
No matter what I do
You’re still gonna decay
So nothing should stop me from walking away
All these proud words, I’ll still stay
Wouldn’t it not matter for you
either way?

Cause a heart like yours that’s slowly deteriorating
I can promise you, love, is more than infuriating
You trample my flowers
No words, no guilt
I’ll grow them again just to watch them wilt
I’ll grow them and you’ll ruin all that I’ve built
Let’s just cover this heart with a chocolate gilt

And then, replace my soil with
Soiled confections
All in the name of earning
Your bitter affections

I will adorn my arms and legs with bracelets and jewels
I will let my hair grow out and fall to my ankles in pools
Because I am so lovely lovely lovely
I will dress my body with silk cloths and sweet perfumes
And place upon my head a crown of pretty, fragrant blooms
Because I will treat this form lovingly

He gave a gap-toothed grin
I watched it spread across a cute face, dappled
with lovely little angel kisses
and red red cheeks, my rosy apple

(Ego as fragile as the gossamer wings of a fairy
I stood nose to nose with a child, quite contrary)

Everything I do is in fear of him and her
Stick up my chin
To prove to them I’m not so immature

slinking beneath shimmery  skin
Aching and breaking
I’m overwhelmed by these  emotions

One at a time and they each consume me
Body so small,  when they run through me
All my hate
And this fear
Bitterness, despair, and distress
All my love, my ecstasy

All of my happiness

I can only really feel the one.


You say I’m a[censored] and to[redacted]
Then you say
I deserve it cause the way that I’ve acted

Hate to know myself when disconcert
It’s too much (I’m in pain!)
I’m tired of this needless, childish hurt

Comfort me, Lord, my soul is distraught
My mind overwhelmed with all I am not
My body succumbing to destruction and rot
I’m aching aching aching

My Lord, my Lord, my soul aches to feel your presence
Please, allow me some rest
Allow me a little happiness
If you see fit, I’m longing for peace, and only you truly bring peace of mind, allow my soul to find contentment, bring rest to my tired flesh my Lord I long for the rest only your love can bring, because I feel beat down and worn

My body is battered, flesh beat down and worn
My mind day after day dwells only on their scorn
My God, My God, I curse the day I was born

its near nine and the kids are antsy
mom needs a nap before she can make dinner
mom is tired
the kids are hungry
mom feels sad and im in the kitchen

big big girl and her words are bigger
Presumptuous, precocious, pompous little ****.
If you can talk like a grown woman, I’ll hit you like you’re a grown woman.
she never means it
the kids feel antsy
if i keep crying like that ill upset them
why don’t you care if
you upset me?


Except
I’m not upset anymore
and my mom isn’t all that tired either
I’ve planted a flower garden and taken up baking, actually
Mom smiles so often too, but
she just feels like a stranger to me

My button up shirts and
too baggy jeans
5 foot little kid with a face real mean

Those clunky platforms add a
weight to my feet
Five foot little kid with a smile so sweet


I’ve been drawing hearts in the sand
Ripping petals off all the flowers
I can get my hands on
(Pretty girl, pretty girl)
And I
Like to smile at my reflection
some reflecting, some introspection
my smile doesn’t look that sweet anymore




Beautiful
Love is only meant for people who’re
Beautiful, I think

Yea, I really do like
dancing in the kitchen, to ballroom lullabies
and looking into your eyes (pretty boy, pretty boy)
sitting in the park till the suns fallen from the sky
and living a life with you by my
side

but I’m afraid living that life is only meant for
beautiful people