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  Oct 2020 Di
Seema
Another lonesome, night has passed
The same moon, gives random smile
Lost count of my sleep, being days
Memories rush in pile by pile

Thoughts linger of those left
The four corners of my room, cry with me
No one comes now for chats over tea
There is nothing left, in my eyes to see

Pale, flushed, dark begs hung by
These eyes have grown tired of blinking
Rush through these windows, O daring wind
And carry me away from this sinking pain

Take me to a place, where feelings don't exists
Away where I can forget everyone
Put me, then, in a deep deep sleep
Or just shoot me with a gun

Once and for all, these eyes would shut for good
Even my memories won't pile to project
Tears would no longer wet my pillows
Everything known, I'll just forget...


©sim
Spilling clinging thoughts.
Di Oct 2020
Trying to hide what I am from you
Trying to hide the dark part of me
But you know me to well
I can’t hide the fear
My worries from you
I’m alone
I stumble through the dark
Wondering who am I?
Want am I supposed to do?
When it’s dark
I want to scream
and hide from all the nightmares
Fear is crawling into my skin
I remember all the times you made me uncomfortable when you touched me and I tried to push you away
You haunt me I try to scream but nothing comes out
The tears coming down my face as I am terrified of it all
I am haunted by the dreams over and over
I just wish the rain would pour down on me and drowned me
Your heart is cold like the words you keep telling me
You keep haunting and coming back for me
I need to wake up from this continuing dream
My hands wrapped tightly in my blankets
Trapping me down
As I close my eyes I keep seeing you
I scream out but no one is here to listen
Your causing me pain
Will you go away
Leave me alone
When I try to sleep you’re there
So get the hell out of my head
Why can’t I hide from this
Let me escape this please
Baby please will you hold me
Will you take me away
Di Oct 2020
Here I am suffering in silence
Thoughts are attacking me in my head
People ask me how I am and I lie and say I’m fine
They call us antisocial
But they don’t see our struggles
They don’t see our thoughts
They don’t see the pain inside
It’s been years and we are still depressed
They say we’re just antisocial teenagers
That we only care for ourselves
But we’re ******* up
Anxiety got us in chains
Doubts got us in a trap
Fear has us in a cage
Depression got us by the throat
But there is still hope we just got to take our life’s back
Fear takes a hold of the steering wheel and drives me places
Takes me places I don’t want go to places that make me want to just give up
Sometimes I let doubt take over me and drives me places
Oh God help me
I can't take all this
on my own
I know you can save me
Di Oct 2020
I feel fear creeping on me
When the lights go out
And my eyes close
My thoughts go buzzing
The kind I don’t wanna think
It’s tough when I close my eyes
I just want to rest and be at peace
But the fear and doubt comes back again
I use the blade and pour out my pain
I feel the tears come again
Curse myself for not controlling myself
I tell my depression to leave me
But I hear the voices in my head and I hear laughter
They say I’ll never be anything
Should just listen and **** myself
But I won't listen I refuse to listen
This poem could be triggering to some people who read it so if you are triggered by reading about self harm then please skip this poem.

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