I never used to tell you the names of my favourite places
But I would make them seem so remarkable in your head
That they would become places you couldn’t resist going to
And I was the only one with the map to the location

I never wanted you to know where they were
So that when you came to me, you wouldn’t go to them without me
I wanted to share my favourite places with you
And make them our favourite places

But today, I sent a letter to you in the mail
With a list of all of my favourite places
Because I want you to still get to enjoy them
Even though I will not be there to appreciate them with you

I hate how you broke me down
Only to build me up
Just so you could break me down once again

I hate how you convinced me to open up to you when I was shy
Only to give you what you wanted from me
And then tell me to be ashamed for being so exposed

I hate how you would ask me what’s wrong
Only to pretend to listen as I would cry
And then tell me off for thinking I have it harder than others

I hate how you would tell me you loved me
Only for me to find out that you have another lover
And then to get angry with me when I would try to move on

I hate how I wasted my time loving you unconditionally
In hopes that you would love me too
Only to realize after eight months that you don’t deserve me

*******.

I sat in front of you with tears streaming down my face. I knew at this moment, it was over between the two of us.

All I wanted from you was to acknowledge that you hurt me and that you were sorry for breaking me.

But all you said to me was, “If it wasn’t me to hurt you, it would have been someone else.”

And there it was
The most beautiful Persian pomegranate
With a skin so flawless
It would be a sin to cut it open

The pomegranate was calling out
Begging her to take a bite
But she knew it was not hers to taste

She resisted the temptation for so long
Eyeing the pomegranate every day
As she strolled by the fruit bowl

One day, when she walked by
She noticed the pomegranate had been cut open
It’s juicy plump seeds alluring her to just take one bite
What would be the harm in just one taste?

She put a seed in her mouth
It’s water-laden pulp seed burst
Exposing her tongue to something
She had never tasted before

Every day
She would walk by
And the Persian pomegranate
Would demand her to take more
So she would slip a few more seeds onto her innocent tongue

And as time went on
The seeds tasted better, sweeter
And more seductively succulent

One day
She placed the seeds into her mouth
But to her surprise
Her mouth began to burn
Her gums began to blister
Her lips began to bleed

She was perplexed
Because the pomegranate was
A poison disguised
As a beautiful, sweet fruit

The pomegranates poison
Consumed her body slowly
Ripping her insides to shreds
As the days she spent enjoying its sweet offerings
Flashed before her eyes

The Persian pomegranate
Painfully and poignantly killed her

He loves me
He has given me everything I have ever needed
He has always been there for me no matter what

He and I have the most pure relationship
It is so easy to make Him jubilant
He is always there for me with one call

I live a very serene life with Him
He bestows me an answer to my never-ending inquisitions
He is my everything whom I love unconditionally


Why would I a walk away from Him... and go to h
                                                               ­                           I
                                    ­                                                        m…
his whispers
made me lose control of everything
wanting to obey his sweet sounds
that echoed in my ears
making my heart beat so fast.

his hands
slowly brushing across my thigh
would make my mind go numb
and would send shameful shivers
up and down my entire body.

he unveiled me
slowly examining me from head to toe
telling me exactly what I needed to hear
to feel confident, comfortable enough
to give him what he wanted.

Why would I a walk away from Him... and go to h
                                                               ­                           I
                                    ­                                                        m…

You come into my house
Because you saw that the door was open
You haven’t spoken to me since I told you I was done

You stride through the hallway
And see the mirror that I had used to photograph myself in for you
Shattered with sharp shards of glass scattered across the floor

You come down the stairs, into the basement
Where you smell the musty smell from the old carpet
The carpet we used to lie on and laugh together

You peer into my art room
There is red ink splattered across my canvass
But this time, its not paint

This time, it is blood from the sharp glass that I jammed into my body
Because nothing hurts more
Than the way you hurt me

Life is not a box of Lego
You cannot persuade someone to build a tower with you
A tower that seems so strong and inferior to the world
A tower that looks like it will last forever
Only to break the tower down
Abandoning the other builder
To clean up the
s
   h
a
     m
b
       l
   e
         s
While you go and build a brick house
With someone else

It’s over now.
I left the place with the poisonous air.
The place I once called home.
But that’s okay.
Because looking back,
There are many things I can smile about.

But that is a fantasy;
A utopia that I wish existed.
Because the reality is,
Whenever I do look back at what I used to have,
I realize that there isn’t something to smile about.
Seeing as the entire life I was living was toxic.
And I was just immune to the toxicity.

The fumes I smelled,
The red flags that were raised,
The sounded alarm,
Were the only thing I ever knew.
I didn’t know what existed just outside the walls I built around me.

So looking back,
At that place I used to linger,
There really isn’t something for me to smile about.
Because what I thought was okay,
Was never normal.

I will not go back there ever again,
Despite the ‘happy’ memories.
For I am no longer immune to toxicity.
And I will no longer inflict sickness upon myself,
From the toxic wasteland I once loved.