So this is still my long refrain
The 1st day of the 2nd month,
I'll turn from the stars and seek Saturn again
And bite the poison lit to my tongue
I'm afraid the shadows are long, racoons quiet in the brush
You better run,
I've outlived all of us
Are you afraid of the sun? Are you still afraid of the sun?
Are you still choking yourself lightly to feel the pain
The women in this family are strong, all the men are dead and gone
I've seen streets die and forests rise once more
I'm not afraid to hide in the brush
My shadow's the biggest of all of us
I'll light it on fire, I'll bring out the light
Nobody's dying. At least not tonight.

I wasn't there, when you grabbed my hand and asked me to listen
I wasn't in the room with you
You saw a woman whose eyes spoke of unending
Then I began our ending, I wasn't there to watch you go
It started when I traveled to Italy, touching stones, forums, dust
Cool running water against my lips
The pictures I took look better without me
I remember saying, so shall you be
But I wasn't there, and you didn't try to catch the longing slipping through the bones in my hand as I faded again,
You couldn't really see me, could you

My words are drying up, one by one by the storm inside
Your words, "I need something different"
"you'll find someone else" added to all the lies
Once promises I'd make a home in
Now I haven't seen the world sober in so long,
Why ask me how I'm doing when breaking up with me
Was losing the right to know whether I'm dead or alive.

Tastes like salty moonlight air, your shoulder beneath my chin,
Heart warmer than our skin under this cloudy lake
I won't tip you over if you won't push me away-
You're always unzipping the tent as I take all the covers
Your lips curve as the chain links painfully acquired
Less oily, smoothed down by Floridan heat and strawberries
My legs beneath the water slick as the wind in Vancouver,
Feet tangled in a fishing net, pushing me up to find a smile between rows of teeth
In countless countries we've marked each other, vandalized concrete sidewalks and people passing by.
But from this quiet town, taking in the mountain ranges, only one thing comes to mind-
It's lost in the sun peeking through, the flip of your kayak,
My rushed escape,
our I'll-get-you-back