I dream... fantasize daily,
About the way water feels rushing against my skin,
How silence feels in this crowded room,
How the wind feels struggling to untangle this hair,
How my hands must feel when they are floating.
I’d like to take in the world alone,
But, I am a child with
Not feet strong enough to withstand,
What cement blocks comfort can become of you,
What no hope can drain from you,
What anxieties existing has created of my being.
I feel cornered in my waking,
Lost in my movements.
And I can’t even begin to forgive myself
For the way I keep breaking my own heart
By being here,
And not having the decency to let down my fears...
And simply, leave.

-Indigo Morrison

I have wanted to hold you in these arms of mine for months...
But, I couldn't quite figure out which walls to push down in order to let you in,
What grounding I needed to find to lend you my voice,
My arms,
This heart,
This love.
All I could share,were these eyes,

My silent “yes

My scared “hello”

And I am utterly scared by you,
Or terrified of the you, you will make of me.
I’d like to feel enough to give you something to fall into
But I know I can’t do that.
I know I can’t be her.
I can’t be the girl to share your graces in the morning.
I want to hold you

So that you’ll be close enough to break me,
Break me apart
So I can have something to piece back together in the morning.
See I am good at fixing things,
And being broken.
I am not quite ready to be whole.

I have some wanderlust to fall into,
Some hearts of my own to break,
Some kisses to never speak about,
And languages for my tongue to become fluent in.
And I’m not ready for it to be you.

So let me hold you
In my arms…
Will you break me?
I need something to put together in the morning.
I am sorry that you cannot stay.
Right now, I am not yet, quite ready, to be good at you.

And to be here is to truly leave.
I sound like madness,
But touch me and you will feel it too
Breathe me in and you will smell the desperation
in my goodbye.
I am goodbye
I will never be "come home"
I will never be safe
More flight risk
than shore
More star than moon

You will never find yourself here.
I will never find myself here.
And I'm starting to think "here" is everywhere
And happy is gone as soon as I stepped foot here,
When I first put down book for friends
When I became scared of men.
Maybe it was when he died
Maybe it was when he left
Maybe it was when you said you loved me as you cradled her...
Maybe leaving is my "hello"
And goodbye is my "I love you"

Maybe I am confused
Maybe I am terrified
I don't know how to be here
In this extrovert, overzealous world.
And I hate the way the sun hides everything
And I can only come at night.

You are more than 2am
You are breakfast in bed
And daydreams in classrooms
If I ever decided to be here
I would need you next to me...
You could be my nature
My near by Tintern Abbey...
I'll show you my hurricane.

Tell the truth about the way we loved.
Savagely
Fervidly
Passionately
Wildy
We burned down the walls of our own bedroom
We gave the stars a show
The shore something to grab hold of...
We were endless
Brilliant in our together
Innovators in our type of beautiful.
We inspired...
Men to love women whose mind's were worth
kneeling for,
And women who loved men with respect worth
submitting to...
Tell them how we loved
Tell them
Their was love
in the  way our feet moved
in relation to the other
The way our eyes danced through
all of these people
Till their was something worth settling on...
For me it was you...
For you it will forever be me...
I will tell them...
because sometimes the things that burn
the brightest tend to leave one breathless...
In a world so self contained...
We could not burn down these walls for our beautiful...

... And I keep wishing that
I knew your hands
like body knows bed
like body feels sun
like body knows coffee at 6am.
...And I'd venture to say
I'd like to create a masterpiece
of your being, with my lips
                               my mouth
                               my hands
                               thighs wrapped
around your strength .
I am beyond enamored,
No cigarette could chase these nerves.
No distance could put out this light-house
awaiting the arrival of you
               the pleasure of you
my ears ache to hear what
moans will make of you.
I want to render you
incapable of any feeling,
but longing and elation
only in relation
to me,
to us,
to you,
here in this bed
unbeknownst to the flow of life outside.
captivated
stimulated
by what's in here
                lies here
            naked here
              ready here
made and designed
to be adorned
and torn down
by you....

The man whose hands can't lie still,
Too busy building
Molding
Growing
Creating
Strong
yet gentle..
I watch those hands
careful not to let them touch me.
The way you grow things
If you were to touch me
I'd lose it...
I'd lose it every time...
Wearing heart on sleeve
Leaving door open for you...
No welcome mat at my door
You need no sign. you know I am here.
My own hands are moving
Hips becoming bold
Legs caving beneath me
Hands wanting yours to hold them.
I have always been tempted by the hardness of man
yet how gentle his touch could be with something he is trying to keep living

I feel as though I am dying here, waiting to feel something... to be moved irrevocably by something or someone...
and I am not the only one.