I’d like to think in another life time we were happier together.
In a alternate universe we’ve made it.
It was not the mistake of I got married young and regret it.
This is a case of I fell in love with a addict so hard he became my addiction. That while he was busy with what he wanted to consume- I let him consume me. That’s just not how love should be.
It wasn’t like the books which I wasn’t even going to hold you too.
It just hurts my chest to think about the promises you made. The children we could have had. The family you soberly dreamed of.
Reality was too hard for you. You couldn’t accept the fact that I didn’t want to get between you and ****** anymore. You thought it meant I stopped loving you. For a while maybe I did? But ever since you left I still wake up on the same mattress we first slept in. I don’t know if your side of the bed will ever be warm again.
I just hope you make it through this life, you should get a better ending.

i joked to a boy i slept with last night that i should come with a warning label.
Except in my case i would need packing slips of everything i have been through.
Every human thats left a mark on me has a story. every mark comes with a list of the things i have endured. the those who have endured which i have been through have put far more complications in my life than anyone would have anticipated.
That is what i am left with. anxious anticipation for the next shoe to drop, tree limb to fall, im never not looking over my shoulder anymore.
i wish i came with a ******* warning label

Ok hear me out does *** hit different when you interlock fingers and your arms are above your head and you get so focused on the beautiful human you’re with everything goes away for awhile and in that span of time I genuinely feel a safe connection and maybe things will be okay?

When we first met I’d write you love notes
Leave them scattered around your room.
When we first met I would stay up all night laughing, not yet tired from the lack of sleep.
When we first met every time you kissed me I could feel that you loved me then.
That was what seems like forever ago.

When we first met you’d smoke cigarettes as we laughed at sunrise. Working on what you promised of a dream.
You were living in a sober house, cracked walls, leaking ceiling.
Yet you felt like home.
I knew you had your nightmares everyone does.
You manipulated me, there were so many warning signs.
I don’t know how I stayed for so long or how I survived. All I know is I watched you almost die too many times.
Your choice is heroine. My choice used to be you.
But now I’ve called a lawyer and started smoking the cigarettes you hated the most too.