The unusual state of my brain
is forever my life’s greatest pain

whenever a thought is in reach
my mind instead grabs the bleach

and removes the idea like a stain

It's slowly driving me mad
Listening to the playlists you made
Of other people singing
What you never had the courage to say

Would it matter,
if I told you,
         I still love you,
         I still need you,

I still look for you -----
         even as the shadows
                    climb the hills
and the new moon
                    hears the howls
                    of distant dogs
somewhere down this
             lonely Kansas road,
where the wind blows songs
        through the green pine
and the memories of you
                    still haven't left
                                my mind.

No, it would't matter one
               bit ,not in the least.

That's just the way it is.
                                                             ­                 Jon York   2021

You don't know me.
I read books, listen to music, watch movies, meet friends.
I cook, I bake, I drink,  sometimes to much.
I learn new things, sometimes not enough.
I work, eat, sleep , repeat.
I draw, I wirte, I exercise.
I try to date to the date.
I have good days and I have bad days.
I struggle everyday, more than you can see.
I do all these things, trying out new ways to be me,
  that you know nothing about.

Now you don't get to look down on,
Don't you dare try lecturing me.

For you left when I was a child
and didn't care to visit.
Now you're back in my life
but it's not for my good, is it?

I owe you nothing.
Keep your distance.

In the ocean of the mind,
Must lie a sea of fantasy,
Imaginations of every kind,
Of love and pain and ecstasy.

I ask the people of the world
Why must we keep boxes of
each race, barricades in each
Borders, separate lives of each
Cultures, as our truth varries in
    each mirrored choices, then we
Carry the havy consequences,
The burden of these shackled
Past - we ponder to wonder
These nightmarish Regrets
So in the end, the answer is
Subjective, rules and walls
Are there for a reasonable
Purpose
It maybe
good or bad
Light or dark
Day or night
An infinite battle
Running in circles
         to maintain
chaos and order
in one box.

why do i only feel alive when im toeing the line of death