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i thought i caught you
and instead you caught me
but you're loosening your grip
and i'm slipping down
but i can't grab onto you
because you're purposely letting me go
and i can't tell you to bring me back
because you're not ready for me
and you'll never catch me again
heartbreak hurts the most when it wasn't suspected to happen
dust,
dirt,
bags,
work.
stuffed nose,
scratched toes,
all for the sake of the move.
making time for friends
is not an option
so i sit,
and write,
hoping someone will find me,
hold me,
tell me it's okay.
but the people that can,
are packing up.
packing up the rooms,
the beds.
and most importantly the memories.
they tell me i'll make friends wherever i go,
but is that true?
is it really true?
or will i just
sit,
cry,
and not know what to do,
when my friends and i
g r o w   a  p  a  r  t,
find more people,
people better than me,
that they will befriend.
those people will be better than me,
so it make sense why they would leave me for them.
i understand,
i'm alright,
it's my fault for moving
right?
the annoying question;
why are you moving?
that i can't answer,
even though i know the truth.
goodbye my friends,
even if we don't see each other again in this life,
maybe if we don't live around each other in this life,
if we stop talking,
if all i have left are the memories, good or bad,
i will hold on to them,
for this year,
was the year,
i met so many people,
befriended lots,
and was almost,
almost,
truly happy.
i'm going to miss you all, cc, samoo, allie, saoirse, and everyone else i met this year. i hope we still talk and meet up. that has been the one true fear of this move, the fact that i might lose some of you.
+
her hands were ice
his hands were fire
when they connected
they canceled out
and there was no more
like if yours canceled out, too
The dark is present
All around me
I'm not afraid of the dark
Not the kind in your bedroom at night
Not the kind that lurks in shadows

But I am afraid
Of the dark that consumes one's heart
Of the dark that prowls in my very mind

January slipped it's finger
Down my spine
As I slip
Further down
Further down underwater

As I float downwards
I think of this darkness
The one present
Right now
My eyelids slowly close
And I am left with the dark
And the sounds of underwater
Like this if you're afraid of the dark.
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