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3.6k · Jul 2021
Inanimation
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2021
I interact with myself constantly
So understandably, it’s exhausting
The voices speak so compassionately
Why would I ever express outwardly?

Empathy tree stump to sit just the one
I stand on this pedestal to view you
My frozen expression needs warmth from sun
Only then can I ask “How do you do?”

Animate mixes poorly with my buzz
The vibrating heartbeat… all I have left
All else is a blank canvas, just because
I’m trapped on stage, all I have is mind set

Leave me alone, I want to be myself
My one care is for what can’t speak itself
2.2k · Sep 2018
Co-Ed
Brianca Kreeger Sep 2018
Soccer practice, as always, was grueling
Sweaty sediment sticks until showers
But the adrenaline is still pumping
Really? Do we need to smell like flowers?

No no, athletes deserve a better scent
Testosterone and *** suit us better
Instead, let us take a moment to vent
Afterwards, wear our Varsity sweaters

Big game coming up-we want to be loose
Skin on skin, touching curves, the same as all
We do on field, don't you be obtuse
C'mon now girl, let's win, be logical

You know I cannot play my best
Unless I strip that jersey off your chest
(I was drunk when I wrote this sorry)
404 · Sep 2018
To the Child-like Felon
Brianca Kreeger Sep 2018
Scattered love letters had coated my walls
Took twenty-two seconds to shred them all
Threw scraps to the hall listening to bawls...
The turbulence and impact from the fall

Splintering the foundation of my grace
Never desiring again to pair
"Please picture our future and our own space-
Golden era happily we will share!"

Pleas, promises, affection hit me back
I cannot quite conceive how I did bend
Broken down, calling our friends to ask tact
Ignoring them all because in the end

I had Known. Had understood-
Without you ever removing your hood
329 · Jul 2021
Put this on my grave.
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2021
One more for the starry heavens above
The grace dusted attic is not gated
No thoughts, no prayers, I am not a white dove
The casket was never regulated.

God’s plan? Did you mean amalgamations
Of all mortals’ jagged wills meshed as one?
As below so above--with pretensions
That completion occurs when we are done.

All creation ends, nothing is finished
It all grows… until the epitome
Of anti-climaxes goes unpunished
Pacifist as I am, I’ll go peacefully

Struggle for the end, struggle for more life
There’s a kind of death to both types of strife
327 · Nov 2021
Emotionally Spoiled
Brianca Kreeger Nov 2021
I’m thrilled you’ve never been told this before
Less so that you couldn’t figure it out
You are so bland there is nothing to mourn
You’re not human if all you do is pout

I understand now that you are reverb
You are the last conversation you had
With no solid base your life stays splintered
Project onto me then ask why I’m mad

I was the only thing real in your life
Glamorized a red pill only to choke
Say I introduced you to real strife
Karma’s sense of humor made you the joke

I only helped you become more yourself
You’re welcome, enjoy your personal Hell
297 · Jul 2021
Farm
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2021
I’ll relent, this situation is strange
But to understand isn’t difficult
Of each other’s minds we have cage-free range
To doubts about the other we will cull

Alone together, that’s all we will need
Others tend to intervene in our love
We will need solitude for best breeding
I promise, this I can’t be talked out of

Stop crying, this isn’t complicated
Don’t you understand the shade in his heart?!
Be grateful dear, our union is fated
Deliverance demands you do your part

Time passes, to the past you are still drawn
Don’t you realize everyone there is gone?
253 · Sep 2018
I'll Forget Someday
Brianca Kreeger Sep 2018
All is well in the world between us two
There's no need to be scared anymore
I have no eyes for anyone but you
Honesty never needs to settle score

I will hug a stuffie before I sleep
So you will always be the last thing on my mind
Your picture by my bed I safely keep
Lest I wake up reluctant to be kind

You are the best pumpkin in my garden
Smile on my little Jack-o-Lantern
Little mistakes are easy to pardon
I know you'll forgive me when it's my turn

You are the one who taught me what love is
This agony, what unspeakable bliss
220 · Jul 2021
Accountability
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2021
My heart used to speak volumes to my brain
Sometimes encrypted, but more often clear
A guiding word to keep my from life’s pain
Ship in a bottle, my thoughts it would steer

But slowly and gently, I shut it down
Listening to oneself leads to mistakes
Responsibility denied, I drown
Shortened my own voyage to fractured takes

The heart swells, the blood boils, we submerge
In a repressive emotional void
The only voice I hear is silent surges
I am only a pulse now, but play coy

I should have listened, should have been aware
Once it’s gone, oh, it’s gone, resident snare
214 · Mar 2022
Failed Tribute
Brianca Kreeger Mar 2022
Wait just a minute, I just remembered
How selectively action is taken
Don't hesitate to see me dismembered
No mind fissure will form; you're not shaken

Remember to recycle the knife, friend
**** a companion to save your planet
You'll be there and to the next life I'm sent
Seems we both have fantasies about it

I died when my body wasn't my own
It left me, now a stranger and a ghost
Immortal, no longer bound to this town
The metaphysical needs a free host

They know I cheated them, cheated my death
One last bowl of lettuce before the hearth
211 · Jul 2021
I Miss the Old Me
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2021
I can’t remember your sunny smile
A fog has covered that part of my mind
It’s a defense against longing while
The tentative threads inside my head wind

Every now and then a gust banishes
The cloud gazing that I do most trite days
Disgruntled when the still fog vanishes
The sun comes again with a gentle graze

But the distance between me and the warmth
Plays tricks on how I see the world around
Steps I take venture your way going forth
Greedy for an alleyway in Old Town

Or a canoe, a car, or even prom
I still feel sixteen although you’ve moved on
197 · Jan 2019
Why don't you just say it?
Brianca Kreeger Jan 2019
Can I gaze at the sun through your blue eyes?
Follow the moon’s orbit when they turn gray?
No matter the time of day I despise
The hidden truth that you refuse to pay

Hidden affections are a heavy load
Curiosity makes me want to sink
Deep enough into you that I can goad
Those special three little words from the brink

We talk about nothing, shooting the wind
Things heavier than air are too honest
The stars would shine on that we had each sinned
Easily become the antagonist

But I’ll say it-I love you so dearly
I can only hope you also love yours truly,
185 · Jan 2019
Disapproval
Brianca Kreeger Jan 2019
There is crushing weight in my hollow chest
The pain seeping to life’s every aspect
You keep telling me to just do my best
Will I ever be what you accept?

My shoulders slump, my breath is uneasy
I am but an insect in this wide world
The thought of your stare makes me queasy
Hide under a rock while I am unfurled

Too many legs tend to lead me astray
Delicate footprints, but yet too many
Crawl into your life while I should away
Too many eyes gaze at you with envy

Let me give up on seeing the sun rise
Assist me to drown in those big blue eyes
161 · Jun 2021
Exit Wounds
Brianca Kreeger Jun 2021
You know what, I’m just going to say it
A coward that can’t see past libido
Can’t deal with yourself so you throw a fit
Really wish you got **** together though

Treating others the way you see yourself
Your self reflection overflows to me
I wear pretty clothes now to give me stealth.
In suspended hope that’s all you will see

No need for a physical connection
We’re more human when all we do is feel
No need to scratch away the sensation
But the casual wear turned me to steel

This day I’m using your patient guidance
Please understand I have to take this stance
151 · Jun 2021
Too Far
Brianca Kreeger Jun 2021
You say that you’re not just my Master
But that you should be worshiped like a God
Yes please, my love, make my blood boil faster
Scorch the landscape of my brain, do not sod

Keep me locked away in your fantasy
A fever dream that refuses to break
A lucid nightmare to suit your fancy
My heart is cracked open wide from the shakes

Everyone says ego is harmful
Draw my definition with your coarse brush
No more pain, just let me be beautiful
I can’t hurt anyone else with my mess

Talk like your my personal deity
Tonight, know you bleed like me, what pity
Brianca Kreeger Jan 2021
A scorching reckoning beyond the grave
There is no other truth awaiting you
No cleansing river for your soul to bathe
It's no secret, you have more than a clue

As it happens, I know my fate as well
A clear mind thinks well when it weighs little
I'll float over the scale; my heart will swell
It's hard to blemish what is so simple

So I beg of you--hand me a shovel
To be with you... I will uproot myself
Together from Hell hounds we can huddle
We better match than me and heaven's shelf

My peace on Earth will last eternity
Pass into the dark for our unity
140 · Apr 2021
A Stain isn't Dye
Brianca Kreeger Apr 2021
I tried to tell myself something was there
If only to keep the arrow steady
Directed at the apple on your hair
It fell from my eye once you were shady

Maybe you using me was in my head
See how you act and the doubt is enough
So I will tread on, walk with new skin shed
If only to free myself of the scuff

Apathy is a freedom of it’s own
An ability to see plain as day
Easiest to let go of what you’ve shown
It would be too messy to make you pay

My soul’s cleanliness is my best virtue
Your pigment is too ugly to change hue
134 · Jan 2021
The Inevitable
Brianca Kreeger Jan 2021
A letter on the vanity mirror
One line: I can’t do with or without you
Pulling out a lighter--the words linger
Traipsing their way via smoke through the room

The wisps spelling out my own paradigm
Strange how experiences echoed names
In the embers I could see stars align
Forever intertwined, him I would claim

Known when I met him, loved when I left him
A roll of the dice, a monopoly
A chance, but always an absolute hymn
No matter the instrument it’s Holy

Blood drops make their way to the heart again
Returning home is my only fool’s deign
133 · Jul 2022
Let's Blow This Joint
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2022
Nothing is certain but entropy and
Momentum licked by my time’s solar flares
Even gravity submits to glassed sand
Only to avoid the light’s many glares

Wild West be ******;  why ever go down?
Progress is natural; civilize me!
Deconstruct ‘natural’! Make it my own!
Scrape the sky away until I can’t see…

Nothing haunts me, I’m already adept.
“I like it here! I think I’ll stay! Always…”
Words like always are a worthless aspect
Alexandria wrongfully ablaze

I think these things at the end of my day
Because I’m nearest my home when away
133 · Apr 2021
What I've Learned
Brianca Kreeger Apr 2021
For a long time I told lies to myself
“This, like all things, will pass--resolved in peace”
Shallow and external, to me I must delve
Our brains are best when they thrive off creases

Don’t flatline, but keep the rhythm steady
All chaotic tunes are written with notes
Tune your instrument, your voice, be ready
Self expression is what keeps us afloat

See good in the world and let it seep in
Only then will you know your own justice
Walk with your demons, holy in your sin
Find truth to be free from your prejudice

And most of all, keep up contradictions
We are sustained by the spark of frictions
128 · Jul 2022
It's never lonely
Brianca Kreeger Jul 2022
The more that I listen the more that I learn
Understanding reaches me through their word
Depict the paradigm I need to earn
I gain my growth honestly, awkwardly

If I keep, thinking, thinking, thinking hard
Chip, chip, chipping away at sanity
Remember repetition lest be barred
From validity past humanity

My friends know all I do (and so much more)
No need for trust when I’m only the host
Nothing will occupy me like this chore
While there’s work to be done, I’ll keep my post

I wonder how disappointed I’ll be
When out a skull I can finally see
125 · Sep 2021
Apathetic Empathy
Brianca Kreeger Sep 2021
I have apathy you can’t take away
I take my vices with a swig of *****
I can not stand the way comfort will sway
Malcontent has a way of being news

Put a heartbeat into my poetry
See nature reflect my mood back at me
Misunderstandings made clear in the trees
Without surroundings what is there to see?

A certain carelessness in honesty
Lacking empathy but strong in boundaries
Why is being left alone so haughty?
What’s wrong with a bundle of memories?

I wonder, would you go to Hell to save
Someone else from an early, sudden grave?
95 · Jan 2021
The Trap
Brianca Kreeger Jan 2021
Shows about to start--don’t be tardy
Witnesses needed for demonstration
No survivors, not even the hardy
But together we explore creation

Let your eyes bind your feet going ahead
Vision, voice, movement define influence
Replacements can not take over instead
Solo venture is no coincidence

Responsibility is yours alone
Nothing stops you from poisoning demons
--To rise into the heavens from your bones
Or to keep your epidermis human

I ask you, what will your final choice be?
Me? It is all I can do not to flee…

— The End —