Suicide, suicide
Your presence is near
Suicide, suicide
I wish you were here
Suicide, suicide
Take me away
Suicide, suicide
Please make it today
Suicide, suicide
An answer, for me
Suicide, suicide
I need to escape, be free
Suicide, suicide
I’ve had too much
Suicide, suicide
Take me, do your touch
Suicide, suicide
Leave the rest behind
Suicide, suicide
You’re all over my mind
Suicide, suicide
Let me pass in peace
Suicide, suicide
I need to release

I promise to always lift you up
When you are feeling down
I promise to wipe your tears
When you feel you need to cry
I promise to keep you smiling
To show off that beautiful smile you have
I promise to be your strength
Whenever you fall weak
I promise to be your voice,
When you can't find the words
I promise to be your eyes
When you cannot see
I promise to be your ears
When you cannot hear
I promise to always tell you what's real
When you want to hear the truth
I promise to be your dream catcher
To chase away you're every fear
I promise to be your smile
When you're frowning
I promise to always cheer you up
When you are down and blue
I promise to give you faith
When you are feeling insecure
I promise to keep you sturdy
When you are feeling unsafe
I promise to listen
When you need to talk
I promise to tell you no lies
Just what is true
I promise to always lend you my shoulder
For when you need to cry
I promise to always hold you
When you need someone
I promise to always care for you
Wherever you are I promise to always be there
I promise to never hurt you and never break your heart
I can't promise you the world
I can't promise you the sky
I can't promise you that we will never fight
I can't promise you that I will never cry
But I can promise you that I will always be true to you
And baby I promise that I will always love you more than anything with all my heart, no matter what happens or what we go through, baby I'll love you until the end of time!
Ill be your guardian angel
That's my promise to you!!

Self harm,
Self harm isn't just cutting,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just you hate yourself,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just starving,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just burning,
Self harm,  
Self harm isn't just beating,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't always your fault,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't always there fault,
Self harm,
Self harm doesn't always lead to suicide,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't something proud,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just because you have depression,
Self harm,  
Self harm isn't just because you have anxiety,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just because you take medicine,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just because you have pain,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't something to brag about,
Self harm,
Self harm is not something to do for attention,
Self harm,
Self harm isn't just purging,
Self harm,
Don't harm it's addictive...

Drowning,
Deep down,
Flooding inside,
Facing life,
Feeling as if I had no say,
And feeling as if I had no life,
Drowning,
Deep Down,
No feelings inside,
Nor the outside,
Broken,
Physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Drowning,
Dee­p Down,
It's all coming to an end,
Scars,
And more scars,
Inside and out,
No one to save me,
No one to help,
Drowning,
Deep down,
My wrist are flooding,
My brain is exploding,
And it's all simply about to come to an end,
Drowning,
Deep down,
No feeling in my body,
No feeling in my life,
Is there a meaning in being alive,
Drowning,
Deep down..

Sometimes I feel all alone,
Because God sent him home.
We used to be so close,
But I miss him the most.
I used to ask him for prayer,
But now it's as he's not even here.
When he stepped on Heaven's shore,
Oh how he couldn't love God more.
He opened the door,
He kissed the floor.
We can talk about God all day,
And the memories we have will never fade away.
I shed a tear every night,
I tell God and my Grandpa goodnight.
Life had it's ups and downs,
But you turned life all around.
Cancer ate him alive as he tried to survive,
Someday we all have to die,
Now he's a beautiful angel up in the sky.
I know you're in a better place,
But I can't wait till I can see your face.
I know you're watching over me and guiding me in everything I do.
The prayers you prayed, and the things you did,
I want to say thank you and I love you

twinkle twinkle little star,
let me get hit by a car,
how i really wish to die,
jump off the roof and try to fly,
twinkle twinkle little knife,
help me end my life.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall
was I always meant to fall?
roses white and dying light
silver's sweet forgiving bite
she'll ask "why"
no answers found
and i'll rot deep
beneath the ground.

*****,
But didn't you know,
Know who the hell you were talking to,
Like that?
*****,
I'll beat the **** out of you,
I'm done holding it all back,
I'm show my self and,
Get put on probation,
Again,
But *****,
Who the hell you talking to like that? ✋

The truths now unfold,
The story is now told,
Crying eyes,
Hidden lies,
Just too many goodbyes,

Now it is forever, like before,
But now it's different,
I have closed the door,
Sorry is just a word,
And now all the memories will become blurred..

Look in to my eyes,
can you see what
I've seen?

Can you see the
Pain,
confussion,
stress,
hurt,
and
let down?

I've cried many tears,
I've stayed up alone
just sitting there in the
EMPTINESS.

I want to feel loved
and happy.
Not just ALONE and
DEPRESSED.

So why don't you save
me from this BREAKDOWN,
so i won't lose everything.....
once again.

TRUST me to be okay,
help me trough this
so I'm not just on my
OWN.

Let down, is what i will
fell along with pain and
hurt.

Feelings have no meaning
anymore.
I'm always sad, no REAL
smile crosses my lips.

This time it might be OVER.
I can't seem to win,
this war against...Myself.
So as time goes on i will
let go of
EVERYTHING
and
BREAKDOWN ON MY KNEES.

They say "suicide is not the option"
    
           but...
                                                 *they never give you another one..

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't make a big scene
Don't let anyone think something's wrong
Remember not to be mean

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't drown anyone in your sorrow
You only have to live through today
You can **** yourself tomorrow

Cry quietly in a corner
Shield yourself from the world
For all they know you just like to cause trouble
Just a bratty little girl

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't let them see your pain
What's the most that they can do, help?
But what from that can you gain?

Cry quietly in a corner
They'll never know what's wrong
When you try to tell he says
"Those **** emo songs"

Cry quietly in a corner
Like the whiner they think you are
Like they care about the reason
Your wrist looks like it has bars

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.



But the roses have wilted,
And the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl is empty,
And my wrist are stained red.

I'm that girl that hides behind that fake smile,
I'm that girl that wears bracelets,
I'm that girl that wears jackets,
I'm that girl that is "Shy"
I'm that girl that has scars,
I'm that girl that has had a past that makes you want to cry hearing it,
I'm that girl you call strong,
I'm that girl..
Quick fix here..
I'm that girl that has too hid behind that fake smile,
I'm that girl the has too wear bracelets,
I'm that girl that  has too wear those jackets,
I'm that girl that is scared to be social because I've been hurt too many times,
I'm that girl that feels lost without her scars because the blade was the only thing there helping for awhile,
I'm that girl that has too move past her own past and never look back,
But most off all *where and the hell do you get strong from

A broken mirror,

A bleeding fist,

A sliver blade against a wrist,

Tears falling down to lips unkissed,

Ignore her and she won't exist,

She's not the kind you'll come to miss..

This weekend,
weekend of hell,
Overdose was the reward,
I couldn't take the pain,
But I end up still being here,
Last night,
I ****** up,
Like always,
And now i'm zero days clean,
What a surprise?
No,
Because I'm known as a mess up,
I couldn't take the pain..

I just want to be with you,
That's all,
But I know that I can't,
Because no one wants us together,

I know this is a place for poems, but about three years ago, my cousin named Chastity, (my name) Was very small, blonde, with blue eyes, loved school, friends. My uncle would beat me and her, unfortunately I would get to leave at the end of the week. And Chastity wouldn't get to, She was my world. We did everything together. She was 6 at the time. I got a call on June 17 that Chastity had been beat to death and that he had told the cops that I was next.  Because we where suppose to die together. And there was no point in him going to jail because she was nothing anyways. Yes, it kills me to type this. I miss her so much living life without her has not been easy. And that is for shore. But here is a little poem for my little angel.


I miss you more then
I thought I would
And I cry much more
Than I thought I could
Time heals all..
That's what they say!
But loves the price,
And so I pray
Sometimes I smile
I know you're near
Its not enough
You are not here
The years roll by
I'm not the same
Yet in my heart
You still remain
You left love behind
When you flew away
But a piece of me
You to that day

You all thought I was kidding.
Kidding when I said I mess up.
Mess up with ever chance I get.
No matter what.
I find a way.
And this one out of all the times.
This one hurts the most.
So without her.
My story ends here.
I'm saying goodbye.
I can't take it anymore.

Don't you,
You hear,
Hear the,
The stuttering,
Stuttering between,
Between the,
The words,
Words when,
When I,
I say,
I am,
Am Fine,
Because I,
I feel,
Feel the,
The pain,
Pain of,
Of the,
The Lie,
As I,
I say,
Say it,
You Didn't know,
Did you,
Because my whole life is a lie,
I'm NOT fine..

I tell my parents, my ex (wishing she was mine), my friends, my siblings,
that "I am sick"

I now know that I'm not like flu, or cold, sick.
I'm so disgusted with myself that it make me feel sick,
It happens most when I look in the mirror, or get dressed, I don't have a point in trying anymore. So yeah..

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being the one,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being perfect,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being there,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for being broken,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being beautiful,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being skinny,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for not being a ******,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for having scars,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I am who I am,
I'm sorry,
I'm trying to change...

People told me
       "get over it"
I tried.

People told me
       "get better grades"
I tried.

People told me
       "stop being so quiet"
I tried.

People told me
       "you look tired, get more sleep"
I tried.

People told me
       "just **** yourself already"
I'm trying.

I'm not sure,
I'm not here,
I'm not okay,
I'm not fine,
I'm not living,
I'm not perfectly happy,
I'm not what people call perfect,
I'm not rich,
but
I'm always here for you,
I'm caring,
I'm in love,
I'm happy around her,
I'm trying,
I'm me,
And I have my flaws!

Silly little girl,
Don't fool yourself,
You've seen your scars,
Just don't want to help,

Little do they know,
How much could change,
With three little words,
*Are you okay?

I can't talk to anybody,
I feel like nobody understands,
So I pick up some paper and grab me a pen.
You see me smile, but if you only knew
The things that I hold onto
And just can't seem to let go.
I know I must forgive, and I said that I do,
But I don't really think that I actually do.
Forgive my mother, my brothers friend, moms boyfriend, and aunt's boyfriend
For the pain they put me through as a kid.
I spoke up, no one listened.
So it continued on and I just didn't mention
The things that went on in the middle of the night.
It happened before, so maybe it's all right.
At 5, at 8, at 9 and 10.
Over and over and over again.
She caught him, forgave, got married, nothing changed.
I'm over it now, I really am.
I think about it every now and then.
Have trouble sleeping at night.
I say it don't hurt now, when I shake at night.
I know the only way to get over it,
Is to open up and speak,
But when I spoke when I was younger,
No one heard me.
So you tell me, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO,
When that voice in my head keeps saying,
You're wasting your time, no one cares about you.
I can't shake that, I've believed that my whole life.
I'm just glad that I have a pen, paper, and the ability to write.
'Cause when I feel like no one hears me,
I just write

I'm not sure where to start,
I don't know how to begin,
I guess I'll start with i miss you,
Cause that's what I'm feeling within,

I miss you like a cloud with no sun in the sky,
It has nothing to look up to and so it cries,
Crying raindrops fall onto the ground,
To just fade to nothing, nowhere to be found,

I miss you like a tree with no leave,
Nothing to move and drift in the breeze,
Leave scattered and sodden,
Walked upon, a broke soul down trodden,

I miss you like a mouth with no tongue,
It cannot speak, all these words left unsung,
They just hang in the moment, caught up in the mind,
Words left unspoken and all left behind,

I miss you like friends all alone,
Each missing each other, calling them on the phone,
It's like no ones answering your endless calls,
Pleas echoing along deserted halls,

I miss you like a lover torn away,
From the one she cares for and thinks of each day,
When she reaches for his hand, and when she reaches for his kiss,
And theres nothing there, only memories of this,

I miss you as a lover,
I miss you as a friend,
I miss your words,
Of how we wouldn't end,

I miss you as a tree,
And i miss you as a cloud,
I miss you with every tears i cry,
Each tear shows I'm not proud,

I miss you as i fall apart,
And i reach out for you touch,
And then i remember you're not there,
God i miss you babe, so much

You know.
You know.
I love you.
I've loved you along.
I dream over you loving me.
I'll stop breathing.
So never let me go.
Hold on to me and never let me go.
Because I need.
To hear you say.
I love you.

But you gotta get ride of these hoes for me.

To the point,
Where I really hate myself,
And don't even want to look in the mirror,
To the point where I don't give a **** anymore,
To the point where I know I'm worthless.
To the point you can't change my ways in looking at myself.
To the point where I want to tell you, I'll be dying soon.
To the point where I can't wait to get to my grave.

But you gotta get ride of these hoes for me.

But you knew when she was sad,
          
        The circles under her eyes got darker,
                    
                     The sound of her voice got softer,
    
                             The size of her waist got smaller,
    
                                     And her smile?
                                                
                                                       *Disappeared

Everyone have scars that,
they don't want to talk about,
Mine?
they are just on my body,
as well as in my head...