Her life fragmented
like shattered glass
too intricate to piece together
and I gaze in disbelief
at the reflection
the depth of every
unattended rotting wound
she has abandoned
and I writhe in anger
at sorrow’s failed attempts
to escape the tortures
of imprisonment
rendered by every false hope
she has given birth to

They say I have courage
But I’m living a lie
Voices from years past
fuel the terror inside

There’s room to grow
“Just surrender, just let go”
You’re not living in the past
It’s not your home

The outside world
Looks different, that’s true
but the story inside
will never let me break through

Painful lessons
Just coping to survive
and now you’re suggesting
I have the courage to thrive!

You may think you see
great potential in me
but the truth is
I will never be free

Not until I see
Great potential in me
and the truth is
Maybe I’m just too terrified
to be free

My body somehow knows
The grief tomorrow holds.
I ache and throb
But I cannot sob;
The urge to cry
Stings my eyes.
My feet drag heavily
In the depths of this valley.
Every year without fail
I remind myself I am too frail.
"You're strong without the numbers,"
Yet I was too weak to pull you from your slumber.
Each March 22nd
Feels just like the 1st end,
When your heart stopped beating
And mine started bleeding.
I'd skip this whole day
But I'd miss the chance to say:
I miss you, lovely little hurricane.
It's all I can do to keep sane.
The smell of mint
Hurts just a hint.
The skinny jeans and hair bows
I could never disown.
I wear your effect  
On my forearm *****.
The pain of loss is akin
To etching you into my skin.
My hands shake with cold,
Though not as cold as a headstone.
Oh, how my body knows
The grief tomorrow holds.

Despite the screaming in my head,
The tears in my eyes
"I'm fine..."
Is what I said
"I'll be there in a few minutes..."
Then I put down the phone
And ran into the street
My suicide
"An accident" they'll say
The perfect plan.

The average person lies four times a day,
The most common lie is
"I'm fine"

I nvisible
'
M arred
F ucked
I nsecure
N uerotic
E mpty

you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.