"Why does he drink so much?" They asked

He answered: "To drive away the pain of uselessness. To numb the feeling my world could come crashing any minute with the next wrong decision I make"
And after that ,he drinks another one and does the exact same thing he just said he shouldn't do:make another bad decision

Sometimes I think we are just like the planets drifting further and further away from each other without ever realising it

I think many have a wrong idea about heaven
To me heaven is just being there with you
There could be fire
There could be clouds
But nothing really matters
As long as there's you
This bed
These sheets
Candlelight
And the exact same feeling that this moment may last an eternity

We roll back and forth
From side to side
Looks so needy
Grips so tight

Unbuttoned shirt, ripped dress
Will soon end up on the ground
With all the rest
The gentle touch or the hard hand

The screams for god
The squeeking bed
This night, I may never forget

His pills were to eliminate all thoughts
His smokes to hide weakness
His lines to forget memories
Alcohol to feel good again

...And finally a knife to end it all

His biggest fear was just to be normal
To blend in with the crowd, not to stand out like he used to
To do everything by the rules instead of making his own
Like his old dreams were just thrown in the trash from one day to another

But his biggest fear of all was to be okay with never being anything more or less than just okay.

It's simple, we're all just sinners.

And I, as the worst of all, laugh at the idea there might be no heaven...