Have you ever wondered
how you find love?
How to make someone
notice you?

Will it ever be enough,
to know that you worked hard?
But yet people who do nothing,
overshadow you.

When nothing you do
is ever enough for people to see
for people to tell you
good job?

When you work hard
every waking moment
until the minute you go
to sleep

Hurting yourself
in overexertion
to make them see you
for who you are

But they don't.
Is it all just wishful thinking?
That the hard workers will be noticed
that everything will be fine?

All the effort I put in...
is nothing to them
but everything to me
I just want to be accepted.

It's all just worthless
because no matter what I want
It's all just....
wishful thinking.

Tell me what to say
tell me what to do
because I can't really tell you
anything

Tell me what I'm supposed to fell
Becuase I can't feel anything
Tell me what is supposed
to happen

Like sand in an hourglass
all the time runs out
and my time is almost up
I feel

But don't you worry
because I will never
leave you alone
I'm haunting you

Shatter me
slowly
I don't want
to believe

Shatter me
quickly
I don't want
to know

Shatter me
please
I can't handle
the pain

Shatter the
promises
that we made
together

Shatter the
answers
that turned into
lies

Shatter my
heart
into a million
pieces

Shatter my
glass soul
that broke when
you touched it

When everything you say
has no impact at all
what did you expect from them?
Everything, or maybe just something

Even if it's a little bit
you just want them to care

The withering plant
of despair and loneliness
the decaying leaves
of love

The crashing waves
of untold tortured
that decays thoughts
of happiness

The smoldering flames
of love lost again
that decays the heart
in my chest

like the decaying pain
and sadness, and joy
nothing is left
my mind is numb

Without my mind, I have no home
for the place I live is gone
the people living in their hatred
their lives the world surrounds

Without my mind, I have no friends
because the ones I've come to know
are ignorant of the feelings of others
otherwise, surely, they would know

The things they say, mocking tones
About mental illness, those without homes
I hate the way they target the weak
just because of how they speak

I want to live in a world
where nobody has to die
from racism and misunderstanding
or from what people say online

I want to leave this place
where people commit suicide
because others can't stop to care
about what others have to say

So with these poems, I wish to open
the eyes of people who read
this world is slowly dying
from everybody's greed

inside my head, a paradise lies
of broken flowers and tortured thoughts
where I lay on a grayscale painting
crumbling down as I lay waiting

How could this happen in such short time
only three years have passed
but now a heart shatters
into nothing but broken glass

What has been hidden is now seen
as I lay upon my bed
with a torrent of tears flowing down my face
can anything make it end?

I don't want to get up and face another day
as the screaming outside begins
I wait for hours it feels like
before the crying soon begins.

I slip outside of my room,
and up the stairs, I walk
I sit quietly and patiently
Not bothering to talk

The bus comes as I wait outside
in the cool morning air
where most would be freezing
but my mind is numb to it.

Headphones are used
to try to block out the noise
of a million voices talking at once
but I can hear them in my mind

"she's so fat isn't she?"
I image them saying
even though I know it isn't true
it stays with me every day

I want my life to be over with
so I can be born again
and have a better life than this one
without these thoughts inside my head