Dear sweetheart
I woke up this morning slumped in a chair
Needed you more than ever but you weren’t there
Where did you go?
I could smell you on my sweater
I woke up expecting us to be together
You left no letter, so I’m writing you this one
I feel all alone, can’t reach you on the phone
Was it something I done? Something I said?
I’m crawling to the kitchen now, need pills for my head
I’m confused as to why you’re treating me badly
This is far from the first time, so this letter sadly
Is the last I’ll send you, in the past I’ve defended you
You defended me too, or at least pretended to
You’ve broke more than you mended
Lost count of friends of mine you’ve offended,
You ruined family gatherings, so why should it be
I find myself missing you, am I crazy?
You’re no good for me,
Good god my head is pounding
Maybe it’s just coz I feel so groggy I need grounding
A good cup of coffee should do the trick
Already late for work, I’ll call in sick
Or did I ring last night? Come to think of it
Have I been to work at all this week? What day is it?
It’s coming back to me, I spoke to someone,
My manager actually told me I’ve broken my contract
Don’t come back she said, this is worse than I thought
Did you know about this? Is that why you’ve walked?
After all it was your fault I lost the **** job
Too much time together
That’s what my friends keep telling me
My neighbour came round last night, he was yelling at me
If I ruined his flowers again he’d call the police
Huh! What a joke, drunk and disorderly
I never feel drunk anymore, it’s just ordinary

As I take a seat back in the chair I woke up in this morning
Head in my hands breathing deep, thoughts forming
All the tell-tale clear cut signs I’ve been ignoring
The pains in my belly, the headaches are a warning
Now I realise
I’m looking at things through new eyes
My wife left months ago, for another guy
It was weeks ago my manager fired me
I haven’t looked for work, who would hire me?
My best friends don’t come by no more, never call me
There was a time when they would’ve gone to war for me
I took no heed, they told me my life is shambolic
Without realising, I’ve become an alcoholic
I’ll never change, I take a can and pull the tab
Hear the tsssk and bring it up to my lips
Drink fast and sink into oblivion, my destructive bliss.

Poetry soothes me, at other times it moves me
They tell stories like books, plays and movies
It’s personal and public, some hate it, others love it
Some use it to manipulate like puppets on strings
Some sing, some talk, they can run or they can walk
Ink, lead, electric or chalk
From London to New York
It’s a sport and a hobby, or a life’s work
It can make you speculate on what life’s really worth
Painting pictures with scriptures of literature
Read it Monday but it takes till Sunday to hit ya
And make you wonder how could a poet write
So succinctly how I’ve felt my whole **** life
My troubles and strife, my happiness and joy
Look back just like I do when I was a boy
Put into words so well how my first kiss felt
Summer time 99, I remember how the air smelt
Fresh cut grass and baking tarmac
As I turned to walk away the girl I kissed pulled my arm back
She looked at me and said that roses are red
Violets are blue but she like tulips instead
Ever since then poetry’s been stuck in my head
Those words that she said
That’s why I touch paper with lead

At school, poetry was anything but cool
Reading Shakespeare, Dickinson, Austin and Hughes
Writing essays on the Capulets and Montagues
Every time that subject came up my brain went on snooze
Call it what you want, the ignorance of youth
Like maybe my young mind was too uncouth
It just didn’t feel like they were speaking the truth
***** waggle dagger’s just too long in the tooth
Although one day we done some knowledge on Poe
Some lines that man wrote made my interest grow
It wasn’t what he said it’s how he said it
He didn’t even say anything to me, it’s how I read it
It made me wanna write down my feelings
It felt healing, exorcising all my demons
As I wrote I could feel all the heaviness leaving
Giving my brain a spring cleaning
It’s very therapeutic to take an experience
Wrap it neatly in a metaphor for convenience
That’s one of many reasons I love the bard’s art
A bird tapping a man’s window was the start
Ever since then poetry’s been knocking
At my chamber door but this is no Lenore
Poetry shall lift my soul forever more
Forever more

I genuinely hate this situation
I put myself in isolation
To honestly see what I am to everyone
As I thought before I am no one
Days of silence could turn to weeks
Yet no so called "friend" speaks
I am lost within my own contradictions
As were my initial predictions
So here I sit ****** up off something
Knowing all I'll ever be is nothing
I can barely see what I'm writing
With my blurry vision and this dim lighting
But it'll all be over soon I hope
I'm so far past trying to cope

There are rumors of a ghoul
Who stalks abandoned places
They say he is never full
And he wears many faces

He can hide in a memory
While you visit a loved ones grave
He can hide in the obituary
Of someone you couldn't save

He can feast on the living
While he is fed by the dead
He can constrict your breathing
If he can get into your head

He can eat away dreams
And leave behind despair
He'll split lips at the seams
To hide that he's there

His games are the worst of all
He'll pretend to be gone
Then laugh as you fall
Then he'll keep feasting on

They tell me not to define myself by
My height
My weight
My skin color
The color of my eyes
The state of my clothing
The money in my pockets

But how am I supposed to love
Everything on my insides
When everyone else defines me
By what they see?