Something I read tonight really disturbed me. And I feel it is necessary to explain why I am not on site as much as I'd like to be. I am reposting this on Twitter and Facebook also, as I have not been on those sites in many months. I have friends there I have almost literally abandoned, except in prayer.

I'm afraid to say I am in constant pain, my friends. I have severe arthritis in my knees and feet. My feet are literally deformed. And walking is extremely painful. I am not in a power chair. I don't want to go that route. I don't want to lose the use of my lower body entirely. I can't get surgery on either my knees or my feet because I have a problem with my weight which was brought on by medication I was given which I never needed.

I am also a targeted individual. I have been singled out by the Church of Scientology for extreme mental torture. They do this to certain people who are vocal against them. I am one. I was put in the mental health system because they wanted to discredit me. They have almost completely tarnished my name. And I have no recourse because I am labeled mentally ill.

I live in a house that should be condemned. The electrical system has not been fixed since the 1920s. It is a beautiful old house, but in great need of repair. I am constantly on guard for fire.

My father is in the hospital. He is in a deep depression because of his physical condition. He was always very active in his life. He is a Master Gardener but now cannot do the things he loves. He is completely deaf, and nearly blind. Now he cannot speak. He has a tracheostomy and a feeding tube in his stomach. He considers his life a living death. I don't know what to do for him except to pray.

Yes, I have many troubles. But I consider none of them a comparison to the glory I will experience when I get to heaven to be with Jesus. What he does for me even in this life is nothing short of miraculous. Even with all these troubles above I am joyous. I cannot do the things that I wish to do. I find it hard to follow my friends on the various sites mentioned above. And I do feel sorry for that. I have thought carefully about which site to follow. Because I love poetry and the poets on Hello Poetry, and they are my oldest friends, I have decided to stay here. I'm not able to read as much as I'd like, but that is no fault of theirs. I want to thank those who follow me through all this from the bottom of my heart. You bring me a great deal of Joy to my life.

My life is actually very full. I have friends who I talk to, and pray with, on the phone. Because I am essentially a shut in, this is very important. I can't go to church for the above reasons. Everywhere I go my name is being slandered by this nefarious cult. But my friends, who I've had for many years some of them, know that what is said about me to be lies. We talk and we pray for hours. I pray for all of you. Usually I would not mention my prayer life. It is something very personal to me, as it should be. but I just want you to know how much I love you all.

I say none of this for sympathy. That word is between s*** and syphilis in the dictionary. I simply say that Jesus Christ is literally saved my life. There is no way I could endure any of this if it weren't for Him. I sincerely hope that some of you can find the joy that I experience. It is only through great suffering that one finds this kind of happiness. Please read the Bible quote below. Thank you all for reading!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Haven't been on for a while so I thought I'd quickly write something haha!