It feels so sad to say out loud
That the good old days
Didn’t last that long

But I know that Human beings make mistakes
That’s how we grow to remain steadfast and strong

In the early morning hours I sound the alarm
And it’s extremely alarming
Cause It feels like nobody cares

All I feel is empitness
Cause now there’s nobody there….
to shelter me through the storm…

It feels like an eternity
Since I felt happiness
I thought our love was strong
But I was wrong…

How come back when I was young
You taught me right from wrong
And told me “Actions speak volumes over words” but now your contradicting your own words

We spent half a life together but
Being with you turned into a living nightmare

We live
We learn
We crash
We burn
Sometimes there’s no shelter to shelter you through all the raging storms…

Words of wisdom
Are coming from the voices in my mind
Telling me to give life another chance.
Cause you’ll never know if you never give it a try…

Remember that nothing lasts forever.
Not even wars or stressful times.
So this raging storm CANT and WILL NOT Last forever.

And it may not even last that long…

A crippling heaviness
Enters the room
I’m trembling
I break out in a cold sweat
The dolls on the stand
Are securely locked in their case
Their sad eyes watch as he
Inches closure and silent screams
Fill the space.

He whispers violent things
And spits in my face.
I succumb to his lingering words
As I forget how to breathe
I lost my voice
It know belongs to him.

These earthquakes come and go
Awakening the anger within
I drank the poison from the fire of your lies
It burnt, but I kept drinking
Because it's all I've ever known.

Your color turned gray
I struggle to the surface
With an anchor the size of my guilt
Pulling me under the entire way up
So full of life we once were.
When your heart was in the right place
Or so you made me believe.

Sister and mother despair
Building castles in Spain
They take the threshold
May their glory reign
They disappear for awhile
strolling down memory lane
And return only with
Their decaying growing pains
One gave birth to the fire
The other the Descendant of flames.

Things are getting out of hand.
Peace is no where to be found.
I'm tired of contemplating,
And trying to understand,
What can't be comprehended.
My sanity fell into a
Haystack of needles.

In order to reclaim it
I will have to bleed.
There are no easy answers.
Yet answers are what I need.
How can I make amends
When I still don't understand
Who I'm supposed to be?

This story is a difficult one to tell.
Especially when it comes
To telling it well from start to finish.
And in order to do so
I need to remove myself
From this diseased prison cell.
Then maybe I will find
The redemption I long for
And lift this evil spell.

Then maybe I’ll be reborn
From the ashes of myself

I'm a force to be reckoned with
So I don't recommend double crossing me
If you come across me
I’ve been known as the criminal in town
****** for being different and causing mayhem

It is not my desire to watch the world burn
And I’ve tried putting out this fire within me
So I don’t set fire to the world around me
But I don't know how much longer
I can hold it in before my covers blown

The innocents cannot be unpunished
So why are they blamed and
Imprisoned for other people’s actions
There are so many stories to be told
So many victims waiting for the moment
To speak their truth and let the real villains be known

My soul is a lacuna
In these moments of silence
There’s an empty void.
In this river of regret
It’s Hollow dark and cold.

Nothing left but bitter emptiness
I’ll still long for your touch
To hear the sound of your voice
And I don’t want to forget
Or Learn to live with the pain

These demons are relentless
And driving me insane
But If you want the leave
Don’t let me stand in your way

But Please don’t call me a fool
If I ask you stay
Let them think what they want
I don’t care what what they say

I’ll be lost and scared
In the midnight rain
If you go away
You may as well take the sun away

I don’t know what to say
I’ve never felt this bad
Until the moment  
I opened the door & let you in

But one things for sure
I wish I could turn back time
So it can be like how it was before…

I hear the siren calling my name
I’ve tried to ignore it’s call many times before
This voice in my head is vicious and won’t let Me forget the things I try to ignore.

I have so many questions,
But I’m running out of time.
Let me shed some light as I peel off my skin Cause I’m growing tired of fighting a battle I know that I’ll never win

They says it’s good to be different
Better than fitting in
I’m done playing pretend on a road that leads To nowhere cause my patience is wearing thin

They say all good things take time
But I’m growing inpatient
Now I’ve Grown a thorn in my side