And for me, part of healing is being able to listen to certain music and not cry anymore.
It takes time
It takes time for the memories to not be as fresh
Because even the good ones hurt
It takes time to slowly put in those head phones and be able to breathe when a certain song shuffles on
It takes time to know that you can remain emotionally stable when you want to listen to a certain artist
It takes time to be rewire your brain, and say "this is okay" this music that once connected me to him, still does, just in a different way
And that's okay

The truth is that letting go of you has not been an easy task
Time has not been kind
    To my fragile mind

Sadness reverberates inside my chest with every heartbeat when I think of you

Some days I flare with anger
Some days I crumble with the pain
Some days I'm fine

The memories are happy
But I try my best to suppress them
Because all they do is fill me with an aching, empty feeling

truth is--
I miss you,
I miss us
     But
The truth is
That you don't

The truth is
That I should be over you
Truth is
I'm not

I'm a better person today than I was the day that I met you
Maybe not more pure or innocent or unbroken
But I've grown  
And I don't think I would've changed in the ways that I have if I had never met you

I'm sorry though
That you had to know me at such a time
That you suffered for my sake
For all the pain that I caused
I was selfish, immature, unready and uncommitted
I do have regrets, from my time with you  

But I can honestly say, that I wouldn't take a minute of it back
We made mistakes, that's for sure
But I learned an immeasurable amount
And for that, I thank you
I just hope that you can forgive me,
That I can forgive myself
So that these memories aren't bitter, that rememberane of you might taste a bit sweeter, and less like a stabbing ache in my heart.

I was never actually good enough
You always wanted me to change
You said that that was love
And maybe it is
But maybe it's not

You hung on because you feared it was your last chance
To ever find someone like me
Someone who can love you

And I know that you're wrong
You will find her
And I hope with all my heart that she loves you with an inconceivable passion
I hope that her spirit will spark in you something that you've never known
That she will be all that you could ever ask for
And so much more
Someone who won't need to change for you
Or be better for your sake
But someone who will make you better,
For your own sake.

I hope that she will be more understanding than I ever was
I hope that she will give without hesitation
I hope that she will listen to what you're really saying
I hope that she will know exactly how to help you
That she will be patient and kind
But I also hope with all my heart
That she can hold her own
So that you will never wear her down- because she will love you, and love can do may a strange thing to people's minds.

My dear,
Love ***** you up
I've seen it time and time again
And still, I fail to understand
Why we do this to ourselves

For days
We're in a constant craze
Nothing else is on our minds
But that one person

That one stupid boy-
Who walks all over you
Who lies and cheats and truly, doesn't meet your needs
He has you on your knees
He won't set you on your feet
But you won't leave

No respect, just a bunch of ******* you don't deserve
But still
Even though you see the dagger poised
You leave your heart in his hands
Because he has a beautiful tongue
And his apologies are gold spun

We lie to ourselves just as much as those good for nothing ******* lie to us
A lie to justify every deceitful thing that slips past his lips
Lies keep you company
On those dark and lonely nights
But a lie can never hide the truth forever
And sooner or later
We all have to admit
That we've been blindsided by love, once again.

I slipped into oblivion
And for a minute or two I held hands with death
What separated us was nothing but murky water; Hade's Lethe
My fingers reached up
Or was it down?
They intertwined with his
He bent his Cimmerian face through the separating waters
His night colored lips briefly rested against mine
But not for long enough
I loitered on his doorstep just long enough for my heartbeat to recede, my breath to become  shallow~
And then I awoke
I crashed up through the pressing weight of the deep, black water
Death's sweet embrace was broken

"Just until I'm thin enough"*
She will say until the day that she is nothing but a bag of brittle bones.