You just have these spells sometimes
   These moods
       Maybe you forgot your medicine
   Maybe it's just a bad week
But you're depressed and sad and lonely
           And you write more poetry
   It's beautiful
And sad
When you fall into these moods
When you have those days
I have no idea what to do
     Because what words could make you feel better?
    None that I could speak
What utterance of mine,
could be eloquent and meaningful enough to make you feel a bit better?
       Would it make a difference if I said anything?
    I just want to see you happy
       Because I care tremendously
And when you're feeling pretty good
     it makes me happy as well
         Because all I really want
            Is to know that you're doing fine, enjoying life, and happy.

It actually still hurts to touch or write on my scars
I'm just trying
To turn them into something beautiful
But my skin resents the touch of anything but a cold metal blade

I've quit being bad
Because the only boy I want to be bad for
Is you

Its funny,  
You brought out the best in me
But also, the dirtiest bits
Both are sides that only you have seen

Oh what I would do for you
And for no one else
If only you actually knew

After I have told you so much
Laid down so much in front of you
My struggles
Dreams
Needs
Wants
Secrets
I've opened up
I've let you see into my soul
The darkest parts
The foolishness
The stupid, giddy side of me
The things I wouldn't dare to dream of telling someone else
I chose
To open up
I made the choice
To trust
Again
And look
Once again

Lies have broken me

I have this canny little part of me
That somehow chooses to open up to people
Who LIE
And the lies are what hurt the most

February 28th marks the day
That I am, miraculously, a year clean-
Clean from the monstrosity known as
self harm

The blood has long since dried, wiped away by time
The scars are there, but old, the stories that have long since been told-
engraved in flesh, have healed
     The pages of that painful novel are now faded, but the reminder is still clear
But, I fold
My cards are on the table now- pure honesty
The blades have been tossed
out into the sea
       However
Even though I'm clean of this
I would not say, that I am free

The struggle
Temptation
Torment
What else could set me free?

But I know,
The very thing that frees me
Is the very thing that binds me
And leaves a ****** stain called  addiction
Not just on my wrists or hips
But inside my frame
My mind is not the same

We return with our bleeding hearts held in our hands
Our broken and fragmented souls
There's nothing we can do
There is no way to mend ourselves
    We try our best-
We cut our skin to shreds
     Maybe it'll stop the bleeding mess inside our heads
We drink our worries away
     Only to wake up, still burdened by the day
We embrace the highs that don't last and pills that don't pay, fulfill, consummate
      To no avail
We seek to perfect
       Maybe if we try our best...
We turn to death as an answer
      There seems no other way
   I can't stay

We look for a purpose
In all the wrong places
pain to fight the pain, drugs to drown the day, suicide to light the way
But it's not enough
Still we lay, a bleeding broken mess
With nothing left to give, nothing left to say

Yet
Still He welcomes us home
Still He heals
The one, true and only way
to find unity and peace
On our blackest and loneliest days
There is a Power
That can heal
Every single wound you have
It just takes a little
Trust