Love scares me always
and makes me want to run far away.
I never faced love in my life
I run always when love comes to me.

I block my feelings but this makes me so small
I lock my heart to feel safe
and this makes me invisible.
That's why I am worried about your love!

I love you and this love is very special,
You have magic in your love
This magic energy touches my heart and soul
Your love comes from your heart, not from the mind.

I will miss walking with you and talking to you
I don’t want to get attached to you
I feel like I am so wrong and I should go away
You have so much kindness and love, it's true.

When everyone will leave you alone
and every door will be closed for you
Then don't worry about it, I love you
and see, I'll be your life companion!

When the sun won't give you its light
and the moon won't touch you at night
Then I will be stars of love in the sky
and yes, I'll take care of your illusion!

When your eyes will lie to you, sweet
and the strength won't find your feet
Then I will give you my youthfulness
and I'll bring love back, what is gone!

You do not need to be confused, it's true love
It's not a game, it's real feelings of hearts
Your emotions are killing me, what I have,
Don't be afraid, I'm here, you're not alone!

The timing is always all wrong
I knew I couldn’t have this treasure
My heart wonders where I belong
Can I find one of equal measure?

The sky is stormy and gray
I can only wish for the sun
Wait for my moment today
Will I ever find the one?

My mind is a war torn land
And my spirit is calling for you
Will he ever take my hand?
Pulling me up out of the blue

Finding my way has been so hard
Restless nights in my bed
My heart may be bruised and scarred
With endless battles in my head

But I know I can go on now
I’m ready to take on the world
This is my word, this is my vow
Always, forever, the lonely girl

Within the garden of my heart
A fragile flower grows
How much light is needed
It seems that no one knows

Some days it blooms
Fiery and bright like the sun
Other days it withers
Before the day's even begun

A deep and dark soil looms below
Complexity colors the delicate petals
A gentle breeze allows for dancing
And in the silence it settles

My heart seeks a caretaker
One with a gentle hand
As such rough manipulation
It can barely withstand

This little flower needs love most
With a true and steady touch
Tis the soft caress of a keeper
This heart has needed so much

He will miss you, said the heart
He will miss the calls,
Your voice, that little blush
He will miss you smile,
Laughter and the way you look at him.

He will miss the fool he made of you
Your anger, vulnerability before him
He will miss your gullibility
But never your love, replied the mind
A great conflict within surged

So the universe made a deal with sight
And before my eyes it was revealed,
My time before him passed,
He didn't think twice,
Never took the chance to miss me
His mission was complete
He had no reason to look back.

And suddenly, everything within ached
A great grievance felt,
And a step was needed

Is a poet still a poet
If they do not write?

A journal gathering dust,
But a yearning to write.
Am I still a poet
Without my inner light?

A good teacher first captures the soul of the child,
Then educates his mind.
5/9/2020

will you hold on to me
even if I won't be around?
will you listen to my words
even if I won't make a sound?

will you still love me
when I won't be so lovable?
will you still reach out
when I would be unreachable?

will you even miss me
if I won't ever call?
will you try to find me
when I won't like to be found?

will you still save me
when I won't like to be saved?
will you still fix my pieces
if I won't be that brave?