I'm surrounded by these four walls,
My thoughts bouncing off of them;
Loud and clear.

I find comfort in these four walls,
Knowing that my cries for help never leave,
That when I wail at night no one can get to me.

I also feel trapped by these four walls,
They make me feel small,
The white colour blinding me when I come up for air each time.

But these four walls know me better than anyone else here,
They know the real me.
Because when I leave these four walls every morning,
I leave as a new me.

I'll keep the bodies in boxes
I'll keep the emotions in bottles
They're bound to be found,
One day.
Until then I'll hide them.
Keep them safe.
In case if I need them later.
But the bottles will crack.
They'll be found.
They'll be seen.
Loud and clear.
Like, little bursts of explosions,
And no explosion is ever good.

Sitting alone
In this room with you
Asleep on my bed
While I sit
By the window
It always goes this way
You're perfect, love
Until you're not
We're the best of friends
At times
But in the end
To me
You're selfish
To you
I'm disposable

when I am far away
looking to outer space
the nicotine inside your pocket goes to waste
an aesthetic is all that we chase
so deny yourself another memory
my dear, familiar face.

if i tell them  all about me
will they understand me for once ?
if i cry and complain
will they empathize with my past?
if i laugh and burst into tears
will they uncover my masked fears ?
if i point right and wrong
will they embolden me for being bold ?
what if i verbalize and don't pause
how long will they tolerate me ?