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2010 one last remark about Mom she’s never had faith or trust in me she always doubts redirects me when i was little she continuously blamed me accusing me of being sick needing a psychiatrist at age 20 my parents committed me for disciplinary reasons to the Institute of Living a psychiatric hospital in Hartford Connecticut in a locked ward for 4 months Mom and Dad discouraged my aspirations to succeed as a painter/writer arguing the impracticality of my decision they thumbs downed Bayli even today she undermines my efforts to love protect her she scolds me for asking permission from my cousin Chris to allow his son Maynard to fly down here and help me pack then drive up to Chicago so i might get to know Maynard on a road trip she instructs hire professional packers for a $100. they’ll be glad to help you pack Mom has always stood in the way of my choices decisions



1975 Chicago in his parent’s kitchen Mom offers the cannolis are fresh from Kanella’s Bakery or try the chocolate fudge cake it’s absolutely delicious Odysseus replies are you trying to fatten me up or **** me with sweets Mom flirtatiously teases i’ve always been about your ruination Odys



2001 Tucson Mom comes for visit at Thanksgiving in her early 80s walking proud yet painfully on displaced hips she is an inspiration to Odysseus her eyes are clouded with cataracts yet she sees life as an eternal optimist since 1920 the world has changed so drastically yet Mom has learned to accept many things she previously did not tolerate she lives prudently on modest fixed income her fingers are arthritically deformed but she was once a great beauty many men desired her Odysseus asks if it was difficult for Mom to lose the power of her physical desirability he noticed her good looks waning in her 50s she answers she sensed her  attraction going in her 70s she still possesses regal qualities and is quite socially charming she chatters a flurry of familiar names events that keep her busy she travels around by herself Mom’s spirit endures but in reality she drifts further away with each passing season she is delicate and has difficulty remembering she echoes a distant past in the early evening of Thanksgiving Day they sit at table of elegant yet rather staid dining room of Mom’s choosing at Arizona Inn she says it reminds her of the way things used to be she wears tasteful black linen slacks black pumps thin silk knitted black turtleneck with string of pearls gold earrings her blonde hair coiffured in same fluffy sprayed style it has been for 50 years in his heart he knows a part of her wishes her son was more like Tom Steinberg who was a senior when Odysseus was a freshman at River Woods Academy The Steinbergs and Mom are still friendly Tom is a successful investment banker with a wife and child living in Winnetka Mom nervously touches the pearl strand around her neck she says you know Mort Rock’s wife Phyllis died i was such a good friend to her at her funeral they read how she said i was her best friend she left me 10 lousy thousand dollars in her will she’s worth millions it’s eating me up inside i needed that money desperately i can’t stop thinking about it 10 lousy thousand dollars went immediately to pay off loans i’m going to sell my jewelry i don’t know what i can get in the spring i’ll put the apartment up for sale or try to get a reverse mortgage from the bank i never told you kids before i’m not in good shape Odysseus comments i feel terrible i wish so much i could help maybe Phyllis Rock suspected you and her husband maybe all those years you were her best friend she read it as guilt and obligation Mom you need to be more truthful Mom cuts in i never had *** with Mort Rock that man drove me crazy he was nuts for me Mom orders the traditional turkey dinner Odysseus orders the Macadamia nut encrusted Hawaiian fish the waiter brings price fixed appetizers little circles of toasted bread with lightly browned melted cheese tiny triangular cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches roasted watercress nuts wrapped in bacon and little hot dogs pierced with fluffy ended toothpicks Mom begins to gobble as she remarks to Odysseus  why do you want to wear your hair like that? you look like you escaped from the camps Odysseus asks what camps are you referring to Mom? she replies the Concentration Camps! you’re a good-looking man and you still have a full head of hair why do you want to shave it off i don’t understand i think you should move back to Chicago Tucson has done nothing to offer look at you you’re all alone you don’t have any friends come home and be your old self again he answers my old self you don’t get it do you Mom do you remember my commodity trading debacle or my 40th birthday or you and aunt Rita’s ceaseless corrections Mom smugly retorts what do you mean your 40th birthday don’t you get smart with me you should be ashamed of yourself why must you keep bringing up the past you need to let go of the past you go into such details details i don’t remember what does it matter now it’s history we only wanted what we thought was best for you you never listened you were only interested in yourself plenty of other kids get beaten and come through just fine you don’t know what it’s like to be a parent it tears me up inside you talk like you had nothing to do with it i can’t take this abuse from you anymore her misshapen fingers hands begin trembling as her voice emotes you think i don’t realize we made mistakes with you you think we were such monsters i wasn’t a good mother i was a lousy ***** is that what you think answer me what are you a bump on a log Odysseus sits stiff in chair his voice shrinks he just sits there his legs shake under table Mom says your father was quick-tempered we were under so much financial pressure maybe we did send you away too soon if i had to do it again i’d do it differently what does it matter now it’s 50 years ago forget the past what do you want from me what can i do he listens silently wondering if Mom seeks some kind of redemption can her conceit permit it he knows he is ******* her he does not mean to be uncomfortable with his muteness Mom continues you were a difficult child remember all the trouble you caused look at you you’re still a difficult man he questions Mom can you hear yourself you think i’m difficult she answers you think we were such terrible parents you grew up in a house of violence his thumb and forefinger nervously touch his chin as he replies no you were good parents i was a problem child different from you you afforded me a beautiful home and brilliant education i wanted to investigate life and learn and grow you didn’t know what to do with a child like that as much as she tries Mom never has been a comfort for Odysseus or he for her he inadvertently stirs her to worry or snap and she in turn unthinkingly disturbs him nevertheless they love each other the waiter brings out salads Mom ordered iceberg lettuce with thousand island dressing Odysseus chose the spinach salad he takes several bites Mom remarks use your salad fork not your dinner fork you know better than that suddenly it occurs to him Mom is more fragile than he he thinks to himself silently Mom i realize your life is closing in on you your mind drifts and you need to fake and cover-up more than ever do you want me to come home and take care of you i will take care of you then he remembers how miserable they were together during his throat cancer recovery in her 3 bedroom Lake Shore Drive condominium immersed in contemplation he pushes the fork through spinach leafs Mom says sit up in the chair and put a smile on your face she self-consciously peeks around the room having lost his appetite Odysseus looks down at napkin on his lap glances at half-eaten salad bowl he gazes up at Mom the waiter arrives making a pained smile he clears the salads then serves the entrees after the waiter departs Mom speaks Odys look at me when i’m talking to you i think about a lot of things i should have done after the fact sometimes even years later Max and i made a lot of incorrect choices when it came to you he cuts in Mom you don’t have to say anymore i love you always have loved you and know you love me too Mom says you know how much i appreciate your paintings you’ve made my life richer i‘ve always been supportive of you in fact i’m your biggest fan right Odys right? thank you Mom i’m grateful Mom says i’ve spoken with psychiatrists and they all tell me the same answer tell your son to forget it why must you dwell in the past what did we do so dreadfully wrong i don’t understand you’re a hard case i wish i could get through to you i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us you’ll sleep better he questions you know about my insomnia restless sleep nightmares Mom says i can imagine Odysseus’s eyes begin to water Mom i love you i wouldn’t be who i am without you Mom says don’t get so emotional you sound weak take it from me you must be strong in life learn discipline and willpower i love you too son Odysseus wonders if maybe he agitates Mom because he is a constant liability lacking fiscal self-reliance deep down Mom is a giggling gossiping playful girl spoiled by her father she never wanted to grow up and be burdened with the tasks of parenthood what woman of rare beauty and charm would want to give up her privilege and freedom for some kid especially a *******-up kid maybe deep down Mom resents Odysseus he stares down at the Macadamia nut encrusted Hawaiian fish and silently prays he will be released from his life all his stupid sins regrets self-pity self-hatred his vain inconsequential existence



i move organize empty shelves cabinets drawers closets edit wrap tape pack wonder if moving back to Chicago is one more mistake heaped on top of a 1000 mistakes a 1,000,000 mistakes is going home to help Mom my biggest mistake ever i simply know i must try to protect my Mom
abcdefg1 Sep 2012
I’m built up with all the tension
Will I go into another dimension?
I’ve packed my favorite snacks
Including my only pair of slacks
I said goodbye to all my friends
I hope this wouldn’t be the end
I wish there was no rush
And I would totally love a slush
I remember to bring a weapon
It’s obviously only for protection
And a camera for my memories
My bathing suit for the sea
And my favorite winter jacket when there is a breeze
This trip better be for free
I’ll miss everyone I know
Even all my foe
I’m ready for this journey
Oh, there better be a gurney...

I hear the noise of the ship
It’s time to get on
I hear people singing a song
There is entertainment along the way
I didn’t even have to pay
Someone threw a block
I can’t believe I forgot my sunblock
I ate from a 5 star cuisine
It tastes so serene
5 hours have passed
Time went by so fast
I wonder how long this will last
The day is getting darker
And not too far away
I see some colorful lights
It was a splendid sight.

I was blinded by the lights
As I walk through the cave
There were millions of crystals
Some small some big
I might have seen some pigs
Then what amazed me the most were the people
They were taller than skyscrapers
And always smiled with glee
They ate strange exotic fruits
Then turned into brutes
There was nothing this place lacked
These apples would’ve killed Isaac
Then they led me to a hut
And brought me what looked like macadamia nuts
The place was so beautiful
I ate until I was full
Like a fat baby I slept the night away
And woke up by the bay
Wow wasn’t that a day
What else should I say?

I see a little girl
Cute as a pearl
She came from the tides
Looking for a ride
She gleams at everything I say
She even ate some hay
She imitates what I do
It’s hard to tell who’s who
I wonder why I’m here
Was I meant to have a beer?
Then it literally hit me
The little girl that I see
Was what I meant to be
I learned to have fun
Relax and say puns
Forget about all the taxes
Put away all my axes
This is why I’m here
It’s not for me to fear.

The little girl and I
Baked some pie
With maybe a few flies
Then we swam under the waterfall
And went to the mall
This lasted until fall
Now I must return
I’ll miss those exciting days
And all those scorching rays
But now I must go home
My family is there
I don’t know what to wear
They bought a big cake
All for ME and not to share
How I missed them so much
I began to lose all touch
I lived the night away
And I didn’t even have to pay
Now it is May
And I lay.
Can peanuts breathe within their shell?
When they’re eaten, might they go to hell?
Or are they, truly, lifeless nuts
No sadness, madness, or stagnant ruts

Perhaps the peanut has a king
A mighty ruler that makes the law
Or perhaps the peanut has a queen
A tender mother without flaw

Who knows, the peanut could be grand
With magical tales of Peanut land
Castles, Wizards and Warrior hunts
Pursuing their foes, Macadamia Nuts!

Galloping upon their steeds
Peanut’s charge! Peanuts Breathe!
Screams so loud the birds doth fall
Pulverizing the enemy’s wall

Now the Peanuts have an “in”
They focus their gaze upon the ****
Hoarding together & funneling thru
Macadamia nuts receiving a chill

Piercing shells for 3 long days
Injured Peanuts in gruesome ways
Mournful moans of agony
Numbers declined, so tragically

Is this the end of Peanut land?
Why couldn’t the Peanut still be grand?
“Get up I say and finish your quest!”
The Peanuts did and fought their best

Above the smoke, white flags flew
The Peanuts emerged victorious!
Striding thru familiar front gates
Returning home, so glorious!

Perhaps, in fact, this story is true
That Peanuts breathe like me and you
But one might wonder of Peanut land…
How Peanuts ride with no hands

And if you truly wish to know
How Peanuts talk and Peanuts grow
Open your ears and do come hither
“Duh! The Peanuts have a Wizard!”

Oh, the tales and jokes they tell
One day, they’ll be on TV
Perhaps in films known by all
Like, “Harry Peanut,” aired by BBC

Or, maybe they are just meant for our bars
And smashed and spread upon your bread…
But next time you eat this salt sprinkled treat,
Ponder, “am I sure this Peanut is dead?”

- BPW
Sally A Bayan Jan 2015
A box teases me
But aching limbs say, "Beware!"
Macadamia....GO!

Sally

Copyright 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
***it is easy to fall,
       rising from the fall
            is what takes time.***
Sal Gelles Apr 2014
to blame this
on anyone but myself
would be a catastrophe;
shattering what's left
of humanity.
Fred Schrott Jul 2014
Hey, I already told you that you were a little bit crazy.
What did you think—that I was completely nuts?
Come on, Cashew, and shake that walnut-sized brain of
yours, and then we’ll try to put together a decent menu.
Still, I ought to kick you in those itty-bitty sunflower seeds,
those ones that you claim to be your source of protein.
Hey, Macadamia Breath, accidentally lose the ******* hula
dancer and then fire the impending search-and-rescue party!
Your tropical trail mix was no good for each other.
You need a vacation from this deserted island, Captain Crunch.
Go down south and get yourself the businessman’s special.
You know—some old-fashioned brazil nuts.
Yeah, that’s the two-tickets-to-paradise, for sure.
Fool, you really do need to buff up the old almond.
Do I need to open up the **** aluminum lid for you?
You’ve been stuck inside this assorted, mixed can that you
try to refer to as an extra bedroom for nearly nine months.
Get out and take in a little hike and bike
right after you do the wake and bake.
Maybe you should go slow roast yourself at the beach a little.
Why don’t you go to the mountains and try to become one of those
pine nuts that end up in all of those overpriced health cereals?
Hey, Snickers, those dank trees really are beautiful, you know.
Would you quit acting like a frikkin’ flax seed already?
Just admit that it’s almost payday, for criminy sakes!
You pathetic Mister Peanut, you.
Please, Saint Chestnut, give this completely lost consumer strength
from high above store aisle number nine.
Number nine.
Number nine.
Number nine.
Listen to me, Nutt Sack, will you shake those tiny little beer
nuts that no one can seem to stomach anyway?
First of all, they are becoming way too stale just sitting around here,
so if you continue to wait any longer, they will petrify—and then we
will eventually be forced to call you teeth-breaking Corn Nuts!
From, The Transitive Nightfall Of Diamonds, due out 8/14 from iUniverse books
Nathaniel Munson Feb 2013
Coffee
    Heath
        Bar
            Crunch
Will sabotage those taste buds,
Like Dublin and its Mudslides.
So blast off with that,
Fossil Fuel,
And don’t let me
Catch you.
‘Cause I’ll keep you,
My Maple Blondie.
I’ll capture you,
And hold onto,
Those Cinnamon Buns.
You’re the Crème Brulee,
Of Chocolate Macadamia,
And the Cherry Garcia,
In my every breath.
You’re the Chunky Monkey,
To this Chubby Hubby;
The Dulce Delish,
for this Americone Dream.

Can’t you see I’ve just got,
A sweet tooth for you,
And your Phish Food?
Your Chocolate hair,
Key Lime Pie eyes,
Strawberry Cheesecake lips,
And your skin is a delight,
Much like Vanilla Caramel Fudge.
Did Ben and Jerry create you?
Please tell me they did!
So I can eat you,
With my cup of Boston Cream Pie,
And I’d eat you all up, Well,
Everything but the…
Half Baked,     Karmel Sutra,
Which I’d lick,
Like a cone of Cake Batter,
And then dip into,
Like Cookies and Milk.

Imagine Whirled Peace,
On top of this Mudpie,
And then Split,
Like a Banana.
That’s the kind of Brownie Batter,
I’d stir with you,
And then add a scoop,
    Or two,
Of Turtle Soup.
And you would yell,
PISTACHIO PISTACHIO!
    Where for art thou pistachio?
And with a bowl of Peach Cobbler,
And a spoon of Vanilla,
I’d look at you,
    wink,
and offer you a pint,
of my Mint Chocolate Chunk.
Yes...this is a poem that uses Ben and Jerry's flavors to subliminally talk about ***. Enjoy.
Michael Kusi Dec 2017
Santa came down the chimney
He was glad the fireplace was not on this time.
He dusted himself off and checked his GPS.
Modern technology
Has made his job so much easier.
Santa remembered when he was using Mapquest
It was not pretty.
Trying to get into homes that did not have chimneys
Was no easy business.
He walked around the living room.
And did not see a tree.
So he took a plant from off the windowsill
And put the presents by it.
This should give them holiday cheer.

Santa then went to the cookies.
He was looking forward to the cookies and milk.
I hope they have chocolate milk
It is my favorite.
He saw the cookies
It was Macadamia nut.
Santa shook his head
It was not his favorite but he had to do.
Then Santa saw the milk
It looked like whole milk.
Santa sighed.
They are not bringing what Santa likes
He then drank the milk
And spat it out.
What is this?
Almond milk?
Why would you do that to Santa
He shouted.
Then ran into the kitchen so no one would see him.
Santa had to wash his mouth out.
All the while muttering
Almond milk, Almond milk?!
Almond milk is not even milk!
It is just potpourri that fakes being milk!
Real milk comes from animals that feed on land.
Not the land itself!

Suddenly a man came to the kitchen with his son.
And asked, What are you doing here?!
The son cried out, Daddy he ate your milk and cookies!
Santa tried to explain, I thought they were mine.
And soon left the home.
He went to his sleigh
And told himself, I really should have reviewed the naughty list.
These trips will be the end of me.
Almond milk and macademia cookies?!
What is this, all nut everything for Christmas?!
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2016
that you may read poetry without a tongue, with a plight
of sore eyes, of eager eyes, only eyes,
and shelter yourself from the rain
with a hand agreeing to greet it falling extended:
plucking mushrooms as you
might be reasonable meeting it with
umbrellas - but umbrellas
far beyond the flowery gutter of scent
and decaying ambition where the frugal
fungal arise like lechery of goblin ****
celebrated - some might add
a dice throw of Macadamia nuts -
eyed i too you the death-stinker;
this is the English revision of Zulu -
primitive tongue extended into abstract,
by those speaking English as foreign,
my English is an English reversed on
the colonialists - its a robbing tongue when
effectively used, with this in mind
i'm starting to think the Irish are bigger *****
than the Welsh even with the middle exported
as V into France and the longbow-men -
remember the antonym of German compounding
is the hyphen in English - optic talk -
failed rubrics of arithmetic for one,
failed rubrics of spelling the other -
i wish you knew English as well as you once
you knew Swahili - i actually wish you knew
Swahili ably talking to you grandparents...
i'm not your grandfather, even though
i wish he wishes he was -
you became gluttonous in tongue as they in body,
fat overdose from mono-linguistic apartheid -
you let them undermine the bilingualism
inherent in you... the Prussians
and the Russian and the Austrians never stole our
tongue... of course we devolved it borrowing
too many words, but loan nouns are never able to evolve
into slang, into urban talk that deconstructs nations,
where once was France now there's only Paris,
the same with England and London;
that you may read poetry without a tongue,
and make tongue read unto mind a Braille -
goosebump fidgety prickle - sour palette without
saying Thai in York - for the eyes to see the deformity
at hand, for the tongue to turn silent for one evening
alone, Venetian snares of the omni- eyed fake
entrusted with Cerberus' oath (only howl a wake
when your master Hades passes into the Styx for
voice of democratically reprimanding judgement over all
souls to arise from droplet into their own content
river form); for i too would have taken to resurrecting
the tongue, but the tongue was forgotten for a purpose
of agility in sports and un-thought poetics of excessive
rhyme, hardly the jazz, hardly the blues,
and hardly poetry - jazz i agree beyond measure a mint
cloud among the down-pouring heavy-clad-grey-clouds
of Mozart - i admit the blues the invigoration -
but rap? rap i just don't get.
me and this homeless man just laughed it off:
and i'm a Brazilian (blue tracksuit bottoms,
yellow t-shirt, green hoodie) - Eminem nemo Emo?
get the beach bleach out... we're going to stain those
starfish as coordinates' worth of horoscope... twirling
twirling twirling... cartwheels a'hoo a'hoo a'hoo ha hey.
i mean, sorry, i don't get the "hood" -
i don't get post-grunge either... i think i'm getting old -
and it's true what they say... the only black friend
was a drug dealer - wanted me to teach his daughter
to play the guitar... i said i listened to Bob Marley's sons
and he said i listened to culture -
racial stereotypes can be fun, i guess, if you're honest
about them... keen on the Illuminati,
so i said: anything better than Kubrick's eyes wide shut ******?
n'ah? hell, if it can't beat that, what's the interesting part?
or as i itemise the rewards the Koran states...
those 72 virgins... is that a metaphor for gym membership?
if you're a lazy drunk like me... the last thing
you want is 72 eager beavers.
Nat Lipstadt Jul 2013
My eyes smell sleepy, he, refusing to depart,
But there is coffee on the nightstand,
The odor, infiltrating the dozy brain's heart.

Annoyed with each other,
They shout and fight
Like teenage siblings Commissioners at the SEC,
Arguing over bathroom monopolization,
The tongue stays sidelined, feigning net neutrality.

The bed smells empty,
For the **** has crowed,
Yogi David commands your presence
At Saturday morning Eight O'clock yoga services.

To get to his Sinai on time,
Early departure, an FAA requirement,
Car, ferry and foot you will deploy,
In the winter, special skis and snowshoes,
That blessed by his mantra,
Enable you to walk on water.

In the kitchen there is sisterly conversation,
Yes, puttering and muttering and discussing,
Sister's grown child texting, he's making the pilgrimage
To see Mama, alone, unexpectedly,
Six hours driving.

Friends and countryman,
That is how you spell t-r-o-u-b-l-e

Sleepy master dwarf refuses to concede,
Says when kitchen noises retreat,
Back to him you will supplicate,
They (the other dwarfs and body parts),
Have a big convention to better communicate..

Departure comes without a kiss,
But not without complaint,
She always says I love you first,
Which is natural,
She being a girl.

Now the bladder starts to whiny~chatter,
What about me, what about me,
Don't you love me, and me rhymes with P!
While the stomach quietly snores
Have been well-fed
but a few hours before,
He dreams of some more....macadamia crusted s'mores...

I could verse you more,
No problem that's for sure,
But you got the point:
**The morning smells.
This recording of my life, sometimes fun, sometimes poetry, trouble-getting-me-into.  Which can be inspiring as well. Good Morning!

Someday I hope add a stanza about grandchildren, cartoons and monsoons, but the parents say they're too young, to endure us, the G parents, for a whole weekend. They are  referring to themselves of course, not the little ones.
This tough front,
This altogether unlikeable first impression,
This mean, crude obnoxious scumbag,
This despicable misogynist,
This cynical misanthropic madman,
“Wassup wit dat?”
Enquiring fans of poetry want to know.
Simply stated, 'tis my oldest modus operandi,
Self-protective, learned street behavior;
My don’t-****-with–me first line of defense.
Surely some form of survival mechanism;
Meant in the narrow psychological sense.
Evidence of mental health or illness,
My cloaking device and shield,
Gift from Jove, my goombah father.
Dad: a powerful force in any child’s universe—
Be the patriarch dead, absent, retired on the job,
Out of the picture, just plain missing--or insane,
The latter, something you may not
Want to know about your gene pool.

So I’m really just a *****.
Forgive the expression, Germaine Greer.
A pussycat and big old teddy bear,
Mr. Sensitivity:
Wiping a warm washcloth between your legs.
Across puffed & pouted lips, gently.
After shooting a load of *** into you.
Or on your face: Spumante!

No, strike that last part.
Let’s start again.
I am a kind soul, a precious man.
The sort who likes animals;
Puppies, especially, and kittens too.
Savoring sunsets and flowers,
I serve you sweet gelato & Asti.
Sometimes I’ll spumante you with original love poetry.
My Muse: your gorgeous body delights me,
Your brilliant mind & noble spirit inspires.
Each night of the week I surprise you,
Prepare for you an exquisite home-cooked gourmet meal.
Served with your favorite Pinot Noir,
Brought to your elegant, candlelit dining room table,
By yours truly, wearing only a scarlet bow tie
And black silk jockstrap.
(Starting to get into this, Maureen Dowd?)
Later I’ll run you a relaxing bath,
So you’ll have something to do,
While I wash the dishes, scrub the pots,
Do a load of whites, clean your bidet,
And Swiffer®  (www.swiffer.com) the entire house.

By then, you are ready for your nightly spa treatment,
A 15-minute, deep tissue massage,
Followed by a hot oil treatment.
Next up is 30 nonstop delirious minutes,
Me, going down on you, without
Seeking any ****** gratification for myself.
In the morning I’ll make macadamia nut pancakes,
Your favorite, and brew you a fabulous cup of coffee,
From freshly ground beans, very rare beans
Salvaged from Karen Blixen’s last crop, before the fire
Completely destroyed her plantation in Kenya.
"I had a farm in Africa, Babaloo!

You can go shopping from dawn to dusk
With Ruth Madoff, while I go out & lose my soul,
Selling Dominican Republic timeshares all day and all night . . .  
(Cue West Indies Calypso: “All Day, All Night, Mary Ann!”)
Calypso-Harry Belafonte Songs, Reviews, Credits,
Awards www.allmusic.com/album/calypso. 1956.)
I’ll still find the time to open up for you
A line of credit at your favorite nail salon.
I’ll pay for weekly bikini waxes, hair and Botox treatments,
And the odd cosmetic surgery you may require.
I’ll pay your cell phone bill; I’ll pay off your college loans.
I’ll send money to your extended family in the Ukraine.
Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I am.
Your life with me will be every woman’s dream.

And, if you believe that,
You soulless Ukrainian ****,
Then monkeys will fly out of my Wayne’s World ****,
You stupid capital C for ****-*******,
Capital B for *****.
THIS JUST IN:
“Arms and the Woman,”
An article in Time Magazine, conveys a statistic:
Some 20 million women in the U.S. own guns.
As the NRA instructs:
Guns don’t **** people.
Women with Glocks **** people.
betterdays May 2014
and the page turns,
memories sepia, brown
and frosted with time
come to light.
faint, murmuring words,
swim at the back of my mind.

summer days....spent in splendour.
balmy nights and mosquito nets.
rockpools little crab kingdoms, the smell of coconut oil and arms macadamia nut brown..

and again the page turns
the boys in rugby kit
me standing off to one side
head in a book...
one girl among too many older brothers
always a tagalong in handmedowns and enid blyton's famous five..

and again the page turns...
christmss hats and presents
cold chicken,salads and little baby prawns....sherry trifle
and poppajack snoring, beer still in hand...

and the page turns and turns
little windows into former lives......sometimes nostalgia
and sometimes.... just a peeping tom..
Wrenderlust Oct 2013
Disillusioned by the open market,
he polishes his glasses and stretches,
running a hand through hair made artistic
by the blunt scissors of the philosophy major
who lives downstairs. It was a trade,
he tells me. Short back and sides for a batch
of macadamia nut cookies. Barter economy.
He mutters about measured value,
divides a piece of paper, and breaks a pencil
while forcing the verses of quarter sheet poems,
recounting the night he stole four sponges
from a craft supply store in town,
a drunken ****-you to the establishment-
but also, he admits, it was late and
he had to do the dishes.
If you want to see how big the world is,
he says, take off your belt. Now
tighten it to the usual hole, put it down,
and look. You are a speck of dust on
the wineglass of human existence.
Don't let it get to you. You are smaller and better
than you think. Another quarter sheet finished,
he slumps back on the defeated sofa
and reads me Desiderata, putting on airs,
grappling with devotions to poke holes in certainty
just as I do now to the worn leather strap,
shrinking my claim to the wineglass with each punch
of the silver awl, and after years, still waiting
for the clink of his belt buckle,
the moment when, humbled,
he remembers he is only
a child of the universe.
Nigel Obiya Jul 2010
I want to shoot someone
I want to shoot myself
I need just one gun... one
Two bullets would really help
I want to push you over a bridge
I want to ******* hang myself
Lion fighting off crocodile
Insanity? Or mentally versatile?
When thoughts force themselves into your head
Instability, in and out of bed
When the fine line between what's sane and what's not, becomes a grey area
Wouldn't you rather be dead?
Really though?
You could turn your imaginary place into a play area
Just sort of "go nuts"... macadamia
Walk around with your head held high
Saying "I'm going to slay me a... dragon today"
Or smack the stripes off a zebra, then head **** a giraffe
Enough!... ****, I'm beginning to scare myself
Next time I write a poem
I should ******* prepare myself
S'nuts.
I just let my mind wander... now you know why they refer to us as "literary gangsters"
BiZZiLL da'WORDSMITH.
raven simone Mar 2013
ducks need water
possums need acting classes
a horse needs to run
ligers need fans
and monkeys need macadamia nuts
I need some ray bans
dogs need love
cats need mice
like mice need hide-aways
I REALLY NEED those Frye boots
mosquitos need blood
and fire needs air
water needs a pathway
I need a new weave
feet need ground
sails need wind
Louis needs a direction
and I need their new cd
Bella Anima Sep 2014
i remember how we first started talking
you sounded so nice yet intimidating
and i guess i was already attracted by then
i remember how i fell and what made me fall
it was all the small things
it was the moments we shared
i remember the way you say hello when you answer the phone
and the different tones you have depending on all your different moods
and i remember, how each and every tone sounds like
i remember the different laughs you have
and how horrible it could sound sometimes
but i loved it all
because it made me laugh too
i remember how much you love nuts and your top three favorites
macadamia, almond, hazelnut
i remember your love for snakes
you would send me pictures and videos of them
you learnt about them in class and you would get home and call me to tell me everything
oh actually you do that every single day
for your every single module
the passion you had in your voice
gets me smiling all the time
and i would just keep silent and listen to you
and when you were done i would say i love you
and i could hear you smile when you say that you love me too
i remember the way you would sit and study when you are stressed
i remember the way you study
i remember your favorite brands
i remember how you would ask me to call and accompany you as you do your laundry and how friendly you were when you bumped into people
i remember our **** competitions and i actually remember how some of yours sounded
it was disgusting
but i loved you more than ever
i remember the way your eyes changed when your emotions changes
i remember how they would look at me and say a thousand words to tell me how much you love me
and i would do the same
then i remember how i would close my door
switch off the lights
due to the time difference the night would still be young for me but not for you but you would wait for me
then i would call you
and sometimes you would cry cos we didnt manage to talk the whole day and you missed me so much
so did i (i still do)
i would then sing you to sleep with my horrible singing
then in between my singing i would ask you to drink water cos i was afraid you were not drinking enough and i would always remind you that our *** has to be transparent not yellow and it cracks you up every single time
so you will drink and i remember how it sounds like when you drink from your bottle and the stupid sounds you would make while drinking and how you would giggle cos you found it funny
and when you start saying **** in every single sentence you say
i knew you were sleepy so i would keep singing and singing
till i could hear you breathe heavily
and i would call your name and there will be no reply
then i would say good night and i would beg you to wake up the next day
cos i need you
i should have hung up after you fell asleep but i didnt
i listened to you sleeping, breathing heavily and steadily
sometimes snoring so loudly
sometimes sleeptalking in some foreign language
that was what completed my day and night

i remember so much still
and as much as i want to forget them
these little moments and things about you
add up to all of you
and its the only way i could have you during the loneliest of times.
it feel so good to be able to finally show you off to the world, even though it has all ended, because i could never do it before due to the fact that we are of the same gender but just look at it. It seems like a normal relationship to me. It feels so good to show how beautiful you are without showing the world how you look like because you are so much more than a pretty girl, you are a beautiful soul. I miss you.
There's this little shop in heaven
They call it Cocoa Palace
It's where God creates the world's greatest chocolates!
Idris Elba was made there
Boris Kodjo too
This is where Tyrese was double dipped
& where 2 Chainz got the juice
...
This shop is open to the public
So all the little girls (& boys) in line can have a little of chocolate too!
I've been in line a few times cause you see
A girl, like me, has an allergy
Cocoa could literally **** me
So God sends me gifts
Every now & again
To see which chocolates my body can stand
There was mocha with nuts
A beautiful cheating candy bar
There was double dipped chocolate fudge
I knew that was going too far
I shouldn't press my luck
He even sent white chocolate macadamia
But even that didn't **** with my taste buds
...
Recently I turned 21
& I knew He had something special wrapped up
He sent an import with hints from the islands
The type of chocolate ordered by queens & stolen by pirates
A special order for me
Milk chocolate dipped in honey
Drizzled with black licorice
Coated with a mouth piece
It even came with instructions
Savor slowly please
Negative reaction? Not yet
So maybe it's meant to be
Was this God's Special recipe?
....
Of course not, baby, you have an allergy .
Poem 4— Muffin
Innocent Tata Jan 2017
Last night I whispered my scream
To the girl with the American spirit
Spent half the night
Begging those eyes to gaze at me

Maybe break night with me
Then we fix it it in the morning
You should be in my room at this time
You should see how the sun cuts through the blinds

It's the smell of the morning coffee
The freshly baked macadamia cookies
The smoke of that mint cigarette
And the snuggle of the pillow you sleeping with

Its your voice
It's the words
It's like mathematics
The 1 that can't be ignored
The understood 1
diggo Mar 2016
love you like cold wet macadamia hair
i love you like a boot itch
love you like the cucumber antidote
like licking you off my fingers and then sticking them down my throat
i love you like a caged and malting tiger
like i’m using this muzzle
to eat or kiss or both at once
love you like you love the blues
and how I just learned to sing
CANCER IS A VITAMIN-DEFICIENCY DISEASE: HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW — “Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer affliction rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cassava root, cassava manioc, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress. A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17): zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ~ vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ~ manganese ~ magnesium ~ selenium ~ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ~ vitamin A ~ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.) A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amnic, amnional, amnionic, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, angiosarcomal, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, blastomal, cacoethic, canceral, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cancerus (archaic), cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatosic, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dyscrasial, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, germinogenic, gestational, glioblastomal, hemangiosarcomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, Kaposian, leiomyosarcomal, leukemiac, leukaemial, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical,  leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomatous, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignal, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, metrial, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, mycoplasmical, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, neurofibrosarcomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncogenical, oncogenetic, oncogenetical, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paramalignant, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polycythemial, polymorphic, polymorphical, polypoidal, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, seminomal, teratomal, teratomatous, theliomal, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous, tumoural,
Watch: G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer." https://youtu.be/tPADSv3XAv0
Amygdalin is a natural anti-cancer agent : PMID: 31958042
IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong). 2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking. 3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes. REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells. NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, “When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the Web : In 1972, Dr. Dale Danner, a podiatrist from Santa Paula, Ca., developed a pain in the right leg and a severe cough. X-rays revealed carcinoma of both lungs and what appeared to be massive secondary tumors in the leg. The cancer was inoperable and resistant to radio therapy. The prognosis was: incurable and fatal. At the insistence of his mother, Dr. Danner agreed to try Laetrile, although he had no faith in its effectiveness. Primarily, just to please her, he obtained a large supply in Mexico. But he was convinced from what he had read in medical journals that it was nothing but quackery and a fraud. "Perhaps it was even dangerous," he thought, for he noticed from the literature that it contained cyanide. Within a few weeks the pain and the coughing had progressed to the point where no amount of medication could hold it back. Forced to crawl on his hands and knees, and unable to sleep for three days and nights, he became despondent and desperate. Groggy from the lack of sleep, from the drugs, and from the pain, finally he turned to his supply of Laetrile. Giving himself one more massive dose of medication, hoping to bring on sleep, he proceeded to administer the Laetrile into an artery. Before losing consciousness, Dr. Danner had succeeded in taking at least an entire ten-day supply -- and possibly as high as a twenty day supply -- all at once. When he awoke thirty six hours later, much to his amazement, not only was he still alive, but also the cough and pain were greatly reduced. His appetite had returned, and he was feeling better than he had in months. Reluctantly he had to admit that Laetrile was working. So he obtained an additional supply and began routine treatment with smaller doses. Three months later he was back at work.

   Mr. David Edmunds of Pinole, California, was operated on in June of 1971 for cancer of the colon, which also had metastasized or spread to the bladder. When the surgeon opened him up, he found that the malignant tissue was so widespread it was almost impossible to remove it all. The blockage of the intestines was relieved by severing the colon and bringing the open end to the outside of his abdomen -- a procedure known as colonostomy. Five months later, the cancer had worsened, and Mr. Edmunds was told that he had only a few more months to live.
   Mr. Edmunds, who is a nurse, had heard about Laetrile and decided to give it a try. Six months later, instead of lying on his deathbed, Mr. Edmunds surprised his doctors by feeling well enough to resume an almost normal routine. An exploratory cystoscopy of the bladder revealed that the cancer had disappeared. At his own insistence, he was admitted to the hospital to see if his colon could be put back together again. In surgery, they found nothing even resembling cancer tissue. So they reconnected the colon and sent him home to recuperate. It was the first time in the history of the hospital that a reverse colostomy for this condition had been performed. At the time of the author's last contact three years later, Mr. Edmunds was living a normal life of health and vigor.
Robin Carretti Jun 2018
Feeling deathly
Dearly or Darely
The fresh
Prince air
Royalty flew_->> her ear
Losing my wing
Tight hug hold- bearing
Seat me ((The Group))  
The fruit loops caring
Jefferson Airplane
*
The rain in
Spain
Graphically
Airbrushed
Shes the marvel
of comics flight book
How you used
to travel no
panics or air
fanatics
I was his carvel

to the top
He's mainly for me

Hey! don't cop
out on me__
#
My mind isn't
any number
Deli take out
Scared my wits out  
He's a flight low
feeling brain__ dead
Ah! Vey is that so?
Ring around to
ears of corn
I met Rosy
Some writer's
block
The ear revolves
around wake up clock
So many planes
crashed
Remembering Mom
Saying here's the
airplane
Feeding
The code yellow
She's the alert me- red
The dead weight of air
In retrospect
The plane on air--- pop
Shes so retro on
the go non-stop

This is dedicated to
the one I love
He's the frequent flier
Come-back< Go- Foward>
the landing
The Godly sending
toward me
But the butterflies
Got the pilot_
cockpit


Dunkin Donuts
Spilled the beans
Hitman
Macadamia Hawaii
I welcome you nuts
Rose blossom Japan
trees escalate
Bali Islander Barista (Cafe)

She was wearing
her lucky red-
Long earful (Giraffe)

Speak up we need
more ears were short
Did you hear me?
The airplane we travel way too frequent. Are we acting like delinquents? Going high way up get your coffee cup and take a ride Robin Red Breast fly
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2023
Kaiser Clown

borrowed shoe:
stolen foot.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

auf die frei zungen ich kennt -
   (of the three tongues i know) -
ich kennt zwei
    und kennen eine:
    (i know two and know of one):

auf die frei: ich lieben dieser
                        äußerst
(of the three: i love this utmost)...
                      
    in my youth i spent a good deal of time
watching Disney's Robin "fox" Hood
cartoon in German, somehow it rubbed off
on me...

      i was never born with anything even remotely
resembling the love of the English language...
can there be a love akin to the Anglophile
that excludes the love of the language?
i love everything English except for the language...

each day i'm slowly planning my escape
into womb of the mother of the isles that
was first spoken in Saxony...
         tired Bavarians? tired Pomeranians?
but the Saxons were a landlocked people
who gave them the courage and adventurous
spirits to claim the seas with more than
oars and steer the winds with
sails?

      English didn't come to me as some
poor Romanian kid listening to current pop music
or back then, early 1990s... movies from Hollywood...
i didn't want to speak gimmicks...
i was ****** into the deep-end of speaking this
tongue by starting off a mute...
even with the influences of cartoon network
none left a too great impression on my ears
as the German version of the Disney cartoon
of Robin Hood...

   even after watching the English version many years
later... i can still hear the German dubbing
and i can't escape it...

auf die frei zungen ich spre(s)chen es
mit ein konkurs auf substantive...
(of the three tongues i speak it
with a bankruptcy of nouns)...

        at least i have made progress with predispositions
and conjunctions:
i am better coordinated...
but how... how can one be an Anglophile
without a love of the language?
i can adore the way the English care for
the countryside... how traffic is managed...
how taxes are collected how foreign cultures
can slowly integrate and everyone can feel
somehow, seemingly at home:
even if the natives do not for a while...
but without a love for the language
i cannot be a true Anglophile...

                the beauty of Shakespeare disintegrates
when a simple German neo-folk is played to me...

   in der zwölften stund (sage vom untersberg)

- in der zwölften stunde -
at the twelfth hour
- wenn die raben fliegen um den berg -
when the ravens fly around the mountain
- tun sie lautstark kunde -
they loudly proclaim
- von des kaiser macht und tagewerk -
the emperor's power and legacy
- solang der kaiser schlafet -
as long as the emperor sleeps
- tief drunt' im dunklen bergensschloß -
deep down there in the dark mountain *****
- solang fliegen auch die raben -
the ravens will fly
- hoch über seinem marmelschloss -
high above this castle of marble...

   no words in English, and their meaning make much
for... however simple they might be in German:
the simple fact that... they're spoken in German!
das: sie sind gesprochen im Alt...
    
it is only natural that i sought out the origins of
the English tongue in German,
as much as i am not interested in the etymology
of designated word:
i could never be this youth exposed to too much
English culture wishing to sing pop songs
or utter single line pin-pointers from
films: ehrilch mein schatz,
   ich tun nicht ein pflege
   (frankly my dear,
    i don't give a **** / care)
    or... ich wille wieder (i will be back)...

so the indentations of learning English in a later
developmental stage of language acquisiton
didn't rub off on me: as it does on people
with accents of their mother tongue
who never lose it... and merely culturally appropriate
English as a spoken tongue of culture
and not a "cultured" tongue...
native tongue: a shape-shifting accent
of an educated "class"...
    even today! West Ham was playing Everton,
Toffees... ******* Scousers... Liverpool dwelling folk...
two younglings asked me to speak to one
of the managers who took their banner away
expressing disgruntlement with
how the football club was being managed...
huh?! am i still in England...
i have an easier time understanding Scots
than i have understanding anyone from
Manchester or Liverpool!
i can't understand them!
maybe that's why the Scots are like the Irish:
they come from a proud literary history...
oh... i spoke to an Irishman today at
the football game... woke up at 3am to come
to the game... i understood him perfectly...
i can understand a Scot and an Irishman...
i wouldn't be able to tell you an Irishman
from a North Irishman...
but i could tell you decipherable English
of the Scot and the Irishman from
an undecipherable, local, "polyglot"
mishandling of the English language with
such local accents and idioms as that of
Liverpool or Manchester...
can't understand the *******: even if i tried...

obviously i can't relate to a love of Russian...
as they might say in Poland:
better 6 years of **** rule: by fire...
than the subsequent how many decades it was
under the rule of the Soviet rule: by ice...
a slow burn of war is more demoralising
than a quick stretch of spandex and all hell
and all fury and all hearts united
than this scuttling of rats and shadow-bullets
shot from shadow-pistols!

of course i would naturally side with the Germanic
side of my upbringing:
i have no itch for rekindling any Russian brainwashing!
and i know that the Germanic side of "things"
has become a breeding ground for feral creature-oids
that resemble as best cuckoldry and at worst
the shadiest parts of the ***-scenes in Amsterdam...
but... bone-headed Russians and their
pride... that Russian pride... it's one of those intoxication
liquid i want to drink any of!

hmm...
   perhaps because i know English as a utility,
there's nothing romantic in it for me:
i buy bread with it, i ask: i used to ask for directions
in it, i ask someone in that conventional
formal way how they are and hope for the less *******
that most Americans reply with: how all is dandy
and it's all Texan blue above and not
the grey of the island skyline...

i did think for a moment: i should haven taken a step
further and attached myself to Swedish...
or Norwegian...
but then that's what a German would do...
as an Anglo-Slav it was only natural for me to succumb
to the allure of German...
the natural dynamo...
i fall on German and the German falls on Swedish...
or Danish...
**** knows who the Scandinavians fall on for
inspiration... the Finns?!
after all: the Finns are somewhat Scandinavian:
more Inuit people than...
        
one is a tongue one learned: or, was rather thrown
into learning...
but it's unlike a learning from it being passed on...
no one passed English down to me...
i'm a first generation immigrant...
i learned the tongue in the same time
as my parents learned it...
unlike all those 2nd generation immigrants
who were born in this land
and learned this tongue outside the dynamic
of their parents learning the language:
the only difference being...
i kept the mother tongue, the native, intact...
by refusing my parents' claim that:
if i only spoke English at home,
the English i acquired from being schooled
in the English educational system...
if i forwent me speaking my native tongue
to them: their English would somehow improve...
that they would, somehow, miraculously not have
a foreign accent!
as a child i picked up three majors things...
Catholicism wouldn't take me... i might have been
baptised without my consent...
but i had all the necessary obligations to
give or not give my consent when it came to confirmation:
i haven't been confirmed... i head too many
Gnostic Heresy texts as a teenager...
their idea that somehow i would mistreat my native tongue
in order for them to gain something for it...
like most Pakistani 2nd generation children...
perhaps, maybe... a few slip through the netting...
who still pride themselves on knowing Urdu...
most? with their loss of the mother tongue pick up
their own idiosyncratic accents within the confines
of English: they are literally children robbed
of bilingualism by their parents...

i mastered it and by mastering it found it with
shortcomings that only the tongue i was born
with could expose...

today this alpha looking male sat next to me on the train
and spread his legs... smiling... listening to music...
**** me mate... how much spreading do you need to do?
what i found:
poetry, best read when commuting...
i'm building up a complimentary package for a friend
of mine... she sent me macadamia nut shells
and dried pineapple and honey and...
a feather... i said to her: i will not send you anything
before i compliment a feather you sent me with a feather
of my own... i went cycling two days prior
and: imagine my luck! some magpie... ELSTER...
was either shedding her feathers or was in a fight...
i picked up about half a dozen ELSTERGEFIEDER...
magpie feathers...
on the train... you're better off reading a book
of poems than a newspaper...
the optics are much more clarifying...
none of the claustrophobia and oczopląs
               of a tightly-knitted (printed) column or opinion
paragraph... spread out text...
  poetry books as an alternative to reading newspapers
in transit... that's how i imagine "it"...
once upon a time newspapers were tightly knitted
beyond the scope of the printed paragraph:
it would require the solitudes of Sundays
to sit in calm and quiet and read them...
these days: that tabloid press with headers
and exploding wordings for the newly acquired
people of literacy: the addition of pictures...

nothing new, therefore nothing old...
mein herzenskummer ist was giBt
                   der Sonnenaufgang seine
      rinnsal auf schüchtern farben...
und! unt!
        der Sonnenuntergang seine
    busen-auf-verkörperung:
                auf: das nie vergeht!

                   how easily the displaced spiders...
turn to new architecture of the spider web
should their former and no sooner
than sooner: distraught with the havoc
of a man's quill of fingers having to differentiate
walking into a spider-web confusing it
with: are my eye-lashes camel's now?!

some shifts at work are terrible,
esp. when working with two females...
everything is wrong...
even telling after-work jokes is wrong...
talk of fish fingers... loads of ketchup...
that's wrong too...
top it all of this one is joking about the other
and the other is lesbian
and she has a new girlfriend
and fish-fingers: well... i am a man and i never
equated the smell of ****** with fish...
i know that tadpoles and ****...
but never fish... fish fingers... *******...
ketchup? i joked: that time of the month?
no laughter... no laughter...
if women are joking about their horrid ****
i better not be asked to, ******* joke!

better working with mute men on zombie mode...
i'm already a year behind having my social medial
stalked... sure... they can stalk me when they
figure out my middle name and some Slovak
diacritical markers... not until then...
just because i look silly when ice-skating
and everyone has seen the video doesn't
mean i'll give up my internet presence so easily: so...
i have a project aligning myself to German
so close to my heart i can find it forgiving...
to desire in the heart-of-hearts
to: **** this tongue enough to speak it when drinking!
because i find that Wilhelm was sort of right...
about how Germany was no empire
expect something on the continent
that gobbled up a part of
the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth...
because the Germans were an established people
and there was no sailing spirit in them...
after all: one might be inclined to think they
wanted to upkeep the romantic, familial orientation
of Christianity...
but the powers, the colonial powers at be...
whether the French the English or the Spanish...
who does, Christianity belong to, these days?
one might have asked the same question
before Christianity spread to the Nord Lands...
prior to its prior occupation with the Syrians
and North Africans and the Greeks...
Romans as a side joke?
who are the current mass of Christianity if not
the former colonies of the English
the Spanish and the French?
i know of Christians in South America from
the cross being dumped by the Spaniards with
vain hope... vain hope of the French in Africa...
and the English in Africa... and North America...

at least the Germans didn't... spread this...
Christianity might be allocated to about 12 individuals
within the confines of a single generation...
beyond that? money-grabbing money-laundering:
a religion with only the sole focus on LOGOS
while reading up on Zhuangzi you have several
other, dutiful terms to meditate on...
i might have been smitten by Hindu thinking before
being doubly smitten by Taoist dialogues...
one still remains a categorical imperative...
outside the realm of dialogue:
the best way you can help the world is
to help the world forget you and you in turn forget
the world...
obviously i'm doing X and counter-X...
i'm writing... by extension of writing i "want"...
or is that: "i" want to be remembered...
but thinking is no telekinesis nor is speaking
any telepathy...
             i speak... like today... i get this oddity of looks...
first she asks me: oh what should i reply
to my friend... just been to a Hen-do...
strippers? oh sure... there were strippers...
first time married? no... second... so what's the ******* point
of a hen-do? cluck x2 laid eggs x4?!
  
so her friend sends me a photograph of her newly bought
dress... laces... or whatever the ******* call
a would-be reimagined-curtain...
i tell her: she could pull it off... if she was a size 0...
the lace could really add dimension and curves to
a thin body...
to hide the skeleton...
but you know what would work for her?
a meringue dress...
you know the type? a one piece...
cut just above the ***** line...
simple: smoothed over... no patterns...
all the way from the cleavage to the feet...
so then she shows me her wedding dress...
it cost her £130 while her friend paid over £2000...
exactly what i was describing...
she just sent an AWW and tried to deflate the question,
or simply avoid it...
yeah... she looks like a flayed torso...
because... SHE's fat...

           eat all you want and as much (perhaps)
but at least burn it off...
if there's no work in the fields:
then there's no work in the fields...
but there's enough rubber burning on the bicycle
to escape the monotone drudgery of
urban living... as i found today,
upon Hook Lane cycling up to Chigwell Row...
there's no need to eat excessively...
no comfort in all that fat without
a leather chair or enough warm clothing...

treating people as these existential morons:
conceptualizing the non-existence of free-will is one thing,
another: to debrief them: life is without agency...
a choice-less Darwinism where
jelly-fish are somehow automated: sprouts:
well... no other life could or would ever be!
people without free-will is one thing:
the shackles of the dynamic of choice...
one choice sets you free, subsequent choice shackles
and inescapable binary of freedom-no-freedom...
science governing the flip of a coin...
but... people, robbed of any sort of agency?!
of self-authority over themselves:
so, so easily mangled and mishandled leaving
their fate unto... no fate: double sure...
unto others?!
i watched a few horror movies in my lifetime...
none seem as horrifying as this +mundaneness
of the horrible leftover: forgotten...

i must have a Germanic attitude toward these matters...
i was born into the living spirit of the ****** tongue,
the membrane in situ staging the conflict
of Rome vs. Greece...
or Germany vs. Russia...
i see no end to it...
i was born from the Germans trying to burn out
the Jews from "my" lands
while the Russians trying to subdue the flames
all the while...
i was still borne from a history that required
a solitary antagonist...
less so an protagonist of solitude...
either way: i was going to slither my way through...
like water like serpents...
wie wasser wie schlangen...

mein herz bricht aus hungrig flammen
als ich stürzen blind Samson's
already toppled temple
            
i know i that i will not write the sort of beauty
that's poetry that's everything that's
Zbigniew Herbert's
Godly Claudius
the Game of Mr. Cogito
Mr. Cogito observes his face in the Mirror
the Seventh Angel
   (my favourite of the angels listed?
Dedrael - the apologist and cabalist)
   to name but a few of the poems...

it brings such relief that i can't bring such
beauty into this world: perhaps if my mind was
not muddled by the utility of English
and my romance with German -
perhaps but only perhaps:
i don't even know why i started to write poetry:
maybe it was my lowest ebb
psychotic running on steam and pretend
legs between Edinburgh, Glasgow,
London, Dover, Athens, Belgrade,
Katowice...
                    walking into a bookshop buying
a copy of Rumi's verses...
buying Dostoyevsky's the Brothers Karamazov
and, just by chance... Bukowski...
what was so supposedly special and hiding
within the poetry of this man?
absolutely nothing: i was mad enough
to try it then and to keep at it:
not really knowing why...
  
compared to Zbigniew Herbert i write trash:
perhaps i read too much fiction,
even autobiographical prose: prose in general:
i don't know how to shut up the ten mouths
on the tips of my fingers but
i know how i can seem menacing
on a shift at work... hood pulled over my head
leather gloves squeezing each knuckle
asked by the atypical extroverted woman
whether something is wrong...
pulling my hood up, smiling, yet still being
compared to the grim reaper...
jokes aside: someone is counting the time...

a welcome break from Knausgaard...
this little safe-haven of poetry read in transit...
finally! something that's not mine
and not in English!

that's the terrible difference between men and women...
going to the Fulham shift i was sitting
behind three women... i'm guessing two were
newly arrived brides of war from Ukraine
who also picked up a Thai-surprise bride...
birds sound chirpier and more pleasant to talk
to... sitting behind them reading my little poetry
book... with a magpie's feather for a bookmark...
the women talked... about?
photographs... filters... instagram models...
plastic surgeries of people wanting to look
like their photographs...
impossible dreams! dreams of women...
and some womanized-men...
on my way back... same book same bookmark
and a young man sat down next to me...
put on some decent music i could
make out through the headphones...
angled his horizon to look over my shoulder
as to why i was reading a book with so much
open space and so little words...
not any fiction, not some constipated prose
of imaginary conversations...
and i could feel his leg pressing against mine...

perhaps i am not gay but i can't imagine
being friends with a woman...
i truly can't... there's either *** for me: with women...
or there is friendship with men...
with each man i meet i can achieve this
transcendent: otherwise unpackaged will
of subduing and seduction that only a woman
can provide me... but a conversation with a woman
is painful: at least for the majority of times:
there might be a special place for a woman
who might not necessarily:
but is probably older than me and shares
the same sentiments as me...
probably lives far away and thinks that hand-writing
is like exposing herself all naked...
will go out of her way to send me a feather of a bird
from over 3000miles away...

while i will send her a necklace with a single amber
stone on it... or i will send her a crab's pincer with a hole
drilled in it and ask her to buy some leather-string
to have herself a second necklace...

at work Stephanie the supervisor had to make it adamant
for me alone to know that i would be her Alpha...
whatever the hell that meant...
Alpha... well yeah... because i do try to ensure that
everyone is treated fairly...
the Asians boys of Bangladesh and Pakistan caved it...
this work or this cold of England
finally bit them...
     it's an unrewarding work if you don't have
an escape plan, like i do...
i'm always flying to other pursuits outside of this
work... customer service... being polite to people
that might not be polite to you or simply ignore you...
but even my standards i thought they were
taking it too far...
but i made a pact with them...
they took out a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured
out shots... if there's going to be a snitch among
us... it will be the man who does drink...
so when asked if i'd like a shot i replied: why not!
the weather calls for it... whiskey to warm up!
mixer? oh no no... straight!
plus... you can't mix Jack Daniels with Fanta, can you?
a few new colts were bullied into peer pressure
of silence, asked if they wanted a drink: said no...
me? i had a drink... i'm not snitching...
well i did when Stephanie was coming round
when i just said: nothing about the drinking...
but if there are 7 of us standing in one place...
but i'm the only one giving any customer service
by giving directions and good-evenings while
they're just standing talking to each other,
having a good time? apparently some people still
can't internalise being drunk for their own
self-amusement, drinking is somehow: getting together...
clearly these boys haven't been alone
and drank a litre of whiskey each and every single
night for months on end...

what really bugged me is when they took out a spliff
and smoked it between the four of them...
even as the customers were coming to see
Tottenham beat Fulham 1 - nil...
oh for ****'s sake... it's one thing having a cheeky sip of
whiskey on a cold day to warm up...
but to also smoke marijuana on a shift?
in full view and easily scented air of winter
before customers?
these guys don't want this ****** job...
thank god none of them are either bus drivers
or train drivers or plumbers for that matter!
maybe doctors who forgot to take out a pair of
scissors from a patient's body when
the patient is getting stitched up?

the worst i ever did was drink the night before
and sobered up on my way to work...
ah... not to mention that one time this
girl tried to scout her paranoia from prior relationships
with abusive alcoholic boyfriends onto me:
a man she just met... pampered with an array
of chemicals whether that be a cologne or this alcohol
containing face spray...
who i later tried to sooth by bringing her my homemade
weisserwein... cloudy... like any weisserbier...
chirpsin'... 3 way conversation conspiracies...
until the lie stood on dwarf's legs rather than stilts...
and to think: no i wasn't thinking seriously about
getting into a relationship with her...
she tried to get me fired for "apparently" drinking
on the job! a person she just me...
neurotic ******* *****... it's good that i showed her
what she would never, ever... get...

the difference between men and women...
the shift finished... prior to finishing we already knew
that there was some major ****-up on the tube...
the signals went down...
no Circle line, no Hammersmith & city services...
no services on the District line
from East Ham to Earls Court...
ergo? you'd think there might be a northbound
service to Edgware Rd. from Putney Bridge...
nope... Earls Court is a 4 x 4 junction...
sure... there was the southbound service
from Putney Bridge to Wimbledon...
and whatever service that's a station after
Earls court toward Richmond and Ealing Broadway...
as i'm guessing from Upminster to East Ham
and from one station after Earls Court
to Edgware Rd....
this girl was supposed to come with me
to Stepney Bridge from either Romford or Chadwell
Heath for the shift...
i was 15 minutes late because i felt like getting some
tea and an almond croissant...
she was? an hour late...
by the end of the shift when the transport invonvenience
was building up we went for our debrief
and she was all irritated in the eyes
when she wanted to get an Uber to Hammersmith
or whether it was she thought about going
without telling me: where that would cost her £50+
quid...
                  so when i told her...
i'm not going down the Putney High Street rail connection
because: (a) look at the ******* congestion
of the crowd and (b) i don't need to go to *******
Waterloo because that's ******* south of the river...

mmm hmm mmm... what, should we do?
i told you... i'm either walking or getting the bus 220
to Hammersmith...
debriefing over: she stayed behind for banter
and all the things that hinder an extrovert,
esp. a female extrovert... un-decisive, fatalist,
everything just ******* happens by some whisper
from astrology...
    Aquarius said to Libra that the waters were
about to spill... i ****** off from the stadium
like a hart... shook hands with the managers
thank you goodnight... as i was walking out
toward Hammersmith some young stewards were
shuffling really quickly it all looked very much like
they might be scratching vinyl...
i asked... you heading to Hammersmith?
yes yes... see! that's i like to see!
male to male camaraderie...
we have this unconscious motif of: from *****
you came to ***** you shall return...
it's a bit senseless to go to war these days...
less senseless when you're trying to get from
point A to point B...
there was about 40 of us running for the bus...
amongst us? 1 woman...
***** AHOY!
   obviously i left this girl behind...
her other option was asking one of the managers
to giver her a lift... ******* free-loader...
by the time the manager would have clocked out
all the other parties i would have wasted an hour...
just to get a lift... and then what?
stranded with her? even though we weren't going
to the same point B?
   i left with the *****-mentality... happy too:
because i could read my poetry book in the prized
possession of solitude... and no solitude...
because given the hour... something freakish was
bound to happen on the train or tube...
and it did... some proper English boys talking about
not wanting to take a nightcap in Romford heading
all the way to Shenfield joked when this guy started running
down the train carriage...
and those SKANKS so drunk who were blocking
the doors: subsequently delaying us
subsequently not catching their train blah blah...

well... just as today happened: talking so freely to men,
boys, young men, first point of "concern" / conversation?
establishing "taboos" or habits...
you smoke? you drink? first time you got drunk...
when did you start smoking marijuana first?
and then a natural progression into...
so... what music do you like... just... so naturally?
with women? even with Francesca,
this butcher boy of a lesbian...
it's a cul de sac sort of conversation...
she only talks about herself,
even today i received a text from her...
i broke up with Natalie... broke up i.e. she met her
on Tinder... she stayed round her house
for three nights... Natalie made her lunch for
work one time... cooked dinner another time...
4 days and nights they dated... already broke up...
there you go... Tinder-dating-shoplifting hearts...
window-shopping romances...

free market capitalism? sure... but not when
capitalism overstretches its influence
and we're worse off than the despairing existentialist:
PHILOSOPHERS of the 19th... the precurosor
fabric... i'd say the 20th century existentialist
philosophers had it easier...
but anyone in the 21st century, thinking, even remotely:
would be hard pressed not to express something
of substance bugging all of us:
no great war, no great upheaval,
proxy wars, the Thespian dictatorship over all
the other arts (with the exception of pop music, perhaps)
and the journalistic juggernaut of the quickened
availability of almost anything and nothing...
the free market of capitalism having invested
in creating this... Frankenstein in pieces...
this IKEA ******* LEGO model of a Frankenstein:
but at least Frankenstein bothered to construct
the entire monster rather than creating this
shattered Pandora's box... left in pieces and in
some realisation of a Copernican West...
in a Copernican East... Copernican "west"?
there's a "west" without a setting sun?!
up in outer space?
                         capitalism all fine and dandy:
but not outside the realm of a couple worrying about
how many kettle and toasters sets they will
have to buy during the year or even the wardrobe
needs revisions, or whether it might be worthwile
to change the wallpaper in the living room,
or what movie to watch on a date night at the cinema...
all of that is gone when the free market made
us profile ourselves... with some of us being pushed
so far as to fake cubist like pictures of ourselves
and subsequently implement plastic surgery to
double-fake ourselves...

the shrapnel-shelving-of-self...
it's like people are a library with no alphabetical order:
free market on psychology, morphed beyond
any concern for dreams: if there were any
as the luxury of the Freudian rich...
this... what happened to historiology in the modern
sense as stressed by Heidegger?
a study of history of the people by the people
or at least by individuals... morphed into this grotesque
pop psychology: archeological mapping back
to the primordial Pharisee of Ape and Aping...
farce: Darwin's Curtain of History...
   will we ever remember the beauties and horrors
of centuries from the 16th to the 19th?
no... everything of said years is nil: null...
because the ape's origins quickly morphed into
the man hunched over a microwave adamant in his
belief that... the carbon footprint of producing
a kilogram of chicken meat somehow, somehow would
"save the planet" than producing a kilogram
of tomatoes... given that a kilogram of tomatoes would
only yield a fraction of the necessary calories
than a kilogram of meat... and still the growing
of one kilogram of chicken would cost the planet
less than growing a kilogram of tomatoes...
who needs tomatoes in winter?!
eat, your, ******* root vegetables! carrots boyo! carrots!
but chickens don't need solar energy, nor suntans,
nor greenhouses... chickens cluck just as much
in winter as in summer... and eggs are a year round
product... plus you only need a barn in winter
to keep chicken!
tomatoes rot... chickens? they grow old and die...
until they grow old they still produce eggs...
and when they die? you eat them...
you can't exactly call a chicken rotten if it isn't already
days X already dead, can you?
it might not be as fresh... but...
ugh... no wonder

Zbigniew Herbert: from mythology (of Rome) -

   in the end only the superstitious
neurasthenics carried in their pocket a little figurine
made from salt, resembling the god of irony;
since then there wasn't a greater god.

then the barbarians came, they too greatly prized
the idol of irony.
           they pounded it with their heels and sprinkled
it into their dishes.

no clay-monster of the Levant can intimidate
me now!
not armed with these words:
let us witness the great divorce of man from woman!
let us watch!
pray... let us be brothers and friends and
secretly wishing we were lovers:
in the thinning air... let us talk about the strange
glow above the Thames hanging over Kew Gardens
as if: as i said to him:
as if the sunset still claiming an eye
in the night...
      what woman? what woman could i share
this romantic conversation with?
my interaction with women is so blatant so cold
so forced to claim the male in me and the woman
in her that it's only ******...
oh sure... i was going to the brothel...
but i was coming home already late...
i had two pairs of socks on, drawers, trousers...
a tank-top a shirt gloves and a thick coat...
by the time i would get out of all those layers
and have a quick shower...
half an hour i would have paid for would have become
nothing more than 15 minutes...
not enough time to get a hard-on
of being in the mood...
i already had more than ***...
a conversation... and no woman has yet to actually
provide me with one...
perhaps we are not in the trenches...
but men have always managed without women...
for as long as time knows...

a shift prior... at West Ham... ******* guy with a bald
head and a face as endearing as a plump baby
we great with a handshake that turns into
a thumb against thumb contest and a hug
tells me that i should come and find him at Cavern Cottage
and he'll sort me out with some free food...
hey presto i go and find him
i get a free steak and ale pie...
i know it's a one off...
    we already get discounts for burgers from the burger
van... but it's nice to give a reminder when
being invited...

     we do our rounds in the park...
among the Pakistanis and the Bangladeshi who at first
thought i was British when asked:
oh no... i'm not British... an Anglo-Slav at best...
from that lineage of Anglo-Saxons...
the Saxons who came among post-Rome rule
Britain and mingled or not mingled
with the local Celtic and Welsh and Britton populace...
i'm the second wave that didn't make it
because the British Empire collapsed
and the eastern Europeans were not too dearly minded
in the history of the British Empire...
but they know that i'm from Poland
so when asked: where are you from? there...
and "there"... but i've been living here since i was
7 so there's no "born and bred" argumentation
with me and those in your ethnic stratum
concerning any anti-Pakistani villification
of those in the "upper-castes"... blah blah...
they know... while the three of us walked around
this 40 year old Yugoslav woman
who escaped the Yugoslavian collapse of
circa 1992... starts talking as i switch her around
so she can have a walk with us to warm up her legs
from standing stiff still...
where are you from? oh... here...
i'm not going to tell her what i told the boys...
not after she deflects my attraction to her
by paying more attention to the Pakistani boy
of 20... i'm closer to her age...
but... then she does this sick thing of asking
me to hold her empty cups of tea that
have an unused teabag in it and some dried milk...
oh... right? i'm going to be your waiting boy?

******* testing women... this woman is past her prime...
i know it she thinks she can "test" my patience
by me being her ******* pet-shop-boy?!
fine! fine...
the more and more i talk to women
the more i find them diametrically opposed
to any sort of psychologically asexual universalism of:
ecce ****...
                 women have: and will have to...
sexualize everything from Aristotle to Zeno...
there was once a maybe female version of Aristotle if
only the: give me the drill... i need a bigger hole to see through:
these eyes aren't large enough...
if only there wasn't an oppressive patriarchy...
the oppressive "patriarchy" of autistic geniuses?!
oh... that one... the sort of men cowering
from female sexuality?
  wow! how oppressive!
                    magnificently oppressive!
we all should be so magnificently oppressed by the man
who discovered the wheel by meditating
the O(micron) - what came first?
the wheel or the omega, or was it the sun?
if Prometheus brought down fire... by teaching man
that scratching flint against flint could illuminate
the cave and give man a second womb of poison-fire...
before the forests turned to ash...
before Pompeii's negative of a whiplash of history...

i tried loving women... i loved them for:
the many months i would rather not use
the fingers of both my hands for...
    absolutely un-relate-able creatures...
what *** beside that of female would whisper in
man's heart to leave their minds without
reason to stage the Trojan War
                        or bring architecture to kneel:
like Xerxes: but the madness of Xerxes was rather
beautiful wanting to lash the Aegean into submission
rather than that little Pharaoh ***** who might
have said: best to chisel down a rock face
and glue together sand with egg-whites and spit
into bricks and polish up a craggy mountain:
lest we forget: from a lineage of a people
that once said: let us "reinterpret" the mountains!
pyramids...
                at least the South American tribes invented
the pyramid as an altar... not a tomb...
but we're no smarter than they were dumber:
the myopic-vision strategy of the vantage point
of: what came prior... with hindsight...
but hindsight only works in reverse...
the unmistakeably irreversible past
within the confines of the motto: the terrible
has already happened!
  
                       and some variation of the historically
terrible isn't already happening,
on some microscopic level?
                           not if / not yet?!
                                             hardly...

poetry is air and not the prose of water...
i am stranded between wanting to breathe air
and at the same time more in need to drink water:
no wonder i cannot rest with merely breathing air...
if only i were to breathe air and leave my efforts
with so much nuance as to allow others to breathe
the same air... alas i am like that saying of Heraclitus...
i'll pour you a glass of water
i have prior to drank... leave it for you to drink a day
later: it will not be the same water that i have drank...
i wish i could write like these words might be air...
but it's... aqua post scriptum et plus aqua
post scriptum ad fluenta...

                    verschließen dein augen:
    sehen wieder... immer wieder:
                               bis: es gibt
                             nicht freude:
noch aufschub träumen...
                              kalt silber-rasierer
                                 schneiden auf
mondklären... nacht als auch wirklichkeitstoff.
CANCER IS A VITAMIN-DEFICIENCY DISEASE: HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW — “Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; by 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress. A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17): ① zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ② vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ③ manganese ④ magnesium ⑤ selenium ⑥ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ⑦ vitamin A ⑧ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.) A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, angiosarcomal, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, cacoethic, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dyscrasial, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, germinogenic, gestational, glioblastomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, leiomyosarcomal, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical, leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, neurofibrosarcomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paramalignant, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polycythemial, polymorphic, polymorphical, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, seminomal, squamous, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous, tumoural, tumourous. Watch (available on You-Tube) G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer."

IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong). 2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking. 3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes. REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells. NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the Cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B-17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and Benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, ”When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.”
HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW —

“Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; by 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress.
   A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17):  ① zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ② vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ③ manganese ④ magnesium ⑤ selenium ⑥ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ⑦ vitamin A ⑧ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.)  

A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, cacoethic, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, gestational, glioblastomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, leiomyosarcomal, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical, leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polymorphic, polymorphical, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, squamous, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous. Watch (available on You-Tube) G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer."

IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong).

2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking.

3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes.  

REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells.

NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the Cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B-17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and Benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, ”When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.”
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
unlike those... europeans...
who succumb to rasta culture
of dreadlocks...
   only recently...
an itchy underside of what
constitutes
a chin...
kept scratching it...
scratching, scratching...
no good...
         thank **** for
the turks bringing bulgarian
prostitutes to england...
and themselves...
  as barbers to these isles...
who the hell could cut
my hair, and trim my beard,
at the same time,
if not an ottoman?!
     i had to bypass the itchy
underside of the chin...
   hmm...
   what would an ottoman do?
     ****! yes!
macadamia: natural oil...
so i started rubbing it
into my ****** *****...
      deep repair masque...
so... women pretend
this magic...
   as... the hagia sophia...
when they do not
have any dermatological
problems, apart from aging?
so...
   what does a woman's ******
cream, do...
to a man's beard?
   apparently the itch
disappears...
              don't ask me how...
and... **** me...
like shining shoes
for some wall st. ****...
the hairs... all shiny!
      and the hairs?
soft...
      it's not even that *****
hairs matter,
or are a digression,
or a nuisance...
     but when they're so well oiled...
thus, subsequently: so soft,
making them decategorised
as ***** on a face?

- but you rub into your beard
what women address their skin
with, confined to
the dermatological pact of mortality?
and then you use the same
cream... and rub it into your beard?
**** me... what an ******!
scented *****!
   like... donning a strawberry
flavored ******!

i should do this, more often...
    get myself a Janissary style beard...
well oiled... glee-bidden...
      and scented... unlike your usual
    *****... suffocated by underwear...
turks?
    probably the only...
no... the only barbers in the world...
i wouldn't trust any ethnicity
with addressing hair and beard...
other than a turk...

                     because... why would
you sacrifice yourself to a unisex
    salon of "european pride"?
a bit pointless...
   given that...
   no one does the barber...
as well as a turk... always will.
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2023
an aging symptom
of the mediocre.

- assorted justifications of happenstance -

three bottles of 8.2% strength of cider... nothing...
it's understandable that high % beers are
reserved for alcoholics and taste bad...
but... when it comes to cider... at 8.2% it's like:
not drinking wine...

quick change of pace: 35cl of whiskey...
ooh... an itch that needs to be typed
and words have to be conjured from nothing...
listening to Button Poetry stand-up
poetry readings, cringing...
where's my straitjacket where is my Hannibal
Lecter mask... i need to bite on some bones...
bones of an over-baked chicken...
**** out the marrow... pretend to say hello
while clucking and clocking in a morning
with... with no more intention than
the intention already arrived at by a cockerel...

probably the first fun football match i was willing
to watch in a long time...
the magic sometimes happens...
Tottenham up 0 - 2 against Manchester City...
just me and dad watching the football...
last few minutes in the first half...
that's Tottenham two nil up...
then... the second half happened...
2 - 2 within the space of 45min + 10min...
and then... a solo show from the Algerian
Mahrez... sometimes it's fun watching a game
of football when one player has a carpe diem
stamina and the rest of the team
is... gripped by a passer-by mentality...
i'm having this passer-by mentality...

unlike the death-and-hollow-pangs of anguish
when existentialism was born, notably with Kierkegaard,
perhaps even Kafka...
i'm becoming more and more at home
within the confines of my alienation...
i realised that i started reading
Dickens' Pickwick Papers and didn't finish it...
gladly revisited: since the original was serialised
so even if abandoned: an easily returned to script...
i still remember some details...
Dostoyevsky's the Idiot... also started... not finished...
well... better heel myself in the ***
to get a move on...
not to mention Heidegger's black notebook
ponderings VII through to XI...
                  
     ****... another... Spinoza's Theological-Political
Treatise... in English...
that's the truly accessible Spinoza...
i wouldn't recommend reading Spinoza's
ethics in a ******... it doesn't really matter
it's a language i was born with...

   in English the form of words
that end with -ing...
    thinking, counting, running...
cycling, demanding...
similarity of tongues but with a different form...
beginning with dość: enough...
szczer-ość (truthfulness),
                   ladodn-ość - gentleness...

or like all the Croat surnames ending so:
   Puli-šić
                            well... this plentiful little life...
this little life of a nobody who bit his pride and sort
of figured out that people with little authority
have this self-aggrandizing monstrosity
of the Quasimodo complex...

so i have this friend living all the way in Hawaii,
London - Hawaii...
i told her that i'd love to be homeless on an island
with great fun aura of complimenting
me sleeping in the cannon of gushing warm
air... she sent me some compliments from
that land: way far away...
dried pineapple, macadamia nut shells...
i bet there are not oaks on that island:
one islander to another islander...
a year passed and we know each other's addresses...
we're not bullshitting or scamming...
now we made a date of it
by phoning each other...
tremors... i'm getting a stage-fright since she
already knows what i look like
and how flimsy i can be when it comes to
****** encounters... sure... even i too could
own that dog of commitment because
*** has become a sort of Apéritif -
bragging rights of women liberated with the maimed
men chained: i feel sorry for
those circumcised buggers who don't know
the feeling of ******* with *******...
and lasting longer during *******
having the ******* constricting the blood flow:
to hello, bishop's head purple...

but it's like that scene from Dancing in the Rain
with the face mismatching the voice...
what if my voice isn't rhapsody prone, RHASPIC...
not hung-over, not manly, gritty enough...
warped self-itemizations borrowed from youth...

or the currency of shame inducement
borrowed from all those proud specimens
of degrading parenthood as a parasitic
inhibition process of achieving full potential
living alone, alone self-praise!
while in some random Hindu household
we're talking less individuality and more:
get with the times, grandma is aching
and father is moralising...
can't bring a boyfriend home...
oh yawn and yawn some more...
maybe if i glued my eyes to feeding the expression
of language into the fabric of a paragraph
i might be a more serious and seriously undertaken
sort of person than all this empty voiding space
of the cascade of poo-tried...
maybe...

then again: life ought to be about making it easier
to struggle less with all the demands,
expectations, even those born from the grandiosity
of being served to align oneself by
being morphed by the grandiosity of the seas
and the mountains, this little atom called man...
make life all that can be bearable and
unconditionally civil...
learning the first lesson and the last lesson
in life: wisdom is born from dialogue...
while knowledge is a vector of agitating oneself
to speak with oneself...
wisdom is a dialogue
while knowledge is a monologue...

so much for spewing quotes, rotas of maxim
but never adhering to them...
sentimentally sort of adjusting
the frail thinking to a frailer mind...
and hardly any soul to drink from a fountain
at the bottom of the drip drip drip...

language apparently conjures itself up
spontaneously whenever feeling: no intentions
no purpose... instead: all that's in-between
of struggling to meet demands...

i'm tired i'm lazy... but i'll still find the pillow
my head will rest on in the thick-glue-of-night...
because i'm lazily so...
i was supposed to go to the gym with
my lesbian coworker...
she met someone... as lesbians do...
she woke up in her bed... lovin' it i replied...
well...
who doesn't want to be loved...
when surrounded by men who confuse a woman
for a man... while you're there dribbling her
assurances telling her: Pixie haircuts...
butch? the butcher who?
piercings, tattoos, Mohawk undercut hair...
rings... butch-rings... six-pack...
who doesn't want to be loved?
i don't... i like the idea of utility beside the neediness
of being love...
i like to think of interacting with fellow man
like a door is requiring a door-****
and a key and a keyhole to lock, to stash,
in a safety of the back-of-the-mind...

              love has become ridiculously simple to me...
but my god, i miss the youthful idealism
of what love was once...
Stendhal and the Crimson and the Black...
origins: always ******* French...
that was fun then and not so much now...
love is like owning a cat... or two cats...
i can ignore i can be ignored
and all this ignoring, mutually sacrificial...
leaves the cat and the owner with
a sense: but you'll be there when i meow
asking for the "manna from heaven"?
you'll be there when you let me go outside
but then i return and want to be let back in
into the warmth because it's cold outside...
and i'll plough the imploring meow in my defence
of you: taking care of me...
love, therefore? so much so much less about
pretending, parroting...
cinema dates, dates in the restaurant...
i just need love to resemble:
i need a shadow come noon
and i'm hardly moving, hardly moving like
a ticking clock...
i want love to be readily available: a readily available
duty of anti-conferencing demands
and... all the bliss of nothing that is to be ever met
for a hope of precursor expectations...
explanations...
something freely given like...
drowning if one is incapable to swim...
or falling with all the flamboyance of gravity...
falling to one's death like first flight seagull chick
or... hardly flapping...
freefalling like a sack of potatoes...

better still: i could do all the housework and work
on the side...
all the nitty-gritty *******...
but... i have found... it's almost impossible
for women to savour the own self-serving gratitude
of performing the feminine-exfoliation
of character building... less controversial
and somehow... appeasing, appeasing...
i have a pair of ******* between my legs...
i don't need a pair in my throat
heaving the grandiosity of constipating Plato
against a brick-wall...

cycling with a heaving, always remembering to
breathe through the nose,
sometime gasping for air skin
to a goldfish figuring out the bubble of BOB
tongue tickling: lapping and history via
only the etymological sourcing of events
completely idle within the confines
of the canvas of Darwinism...
overdoing measurements
               confining a kilometre into the "size"
of a centimetre...

cycling much better than having ***...
esp. when the brothel dynamic changes...
jealous women are: jealous women...
they keep you endeared to have more ***
without it being ***: ***...
one pleasured woman is at least
two angry women who are:
"oddly" not compatible with you...
because ever-knowing already spoke to them:
it's just impossible to relate to please
everyone...

life and traffic... custard bulging like so:
regurgitation: like foam of freezing
and hot-air ballooning...
     exploding lungs in details of cubism:
written about rather than painted...
violins crushed... sounds akin to the harmony
of representing the concept of music:
squared... crushed... never to be heard...
just knock-knock on an imaginary door...
a door a house that was formerly only a cave...
  
               even language: this flimsy kite serving
the ever flimsy atom of ego that's
extending and exploring the horizon of
who we let go: to live their life as any living creature
might... self-absorbed, self-serving,
self-gratifying... autobiographical-who?
most probably either me, or you; the towed two of
towering halving shadows
with fully-exploding faces of smiles: fakes;
cornflakes crisp... mud-holes and that
endless fascination with bears...
hibernating mammals...
what use and purpose of hammers...
pyramids... the bears sleep through the worst
ordeal of the seasons...
so much for music and so much for art...
flimsy compensations... ****** reparations...

blocked tube... if one there was a Marx writing
a history of man... by now we know
that Darwin is the new Marx...
with Marx the communist
and Darwin the capitalist...
                  i hardly think animals
ventured to apply the intermediate
medium of money in relating X to Z... via Y...
parents, busy... so? the existence of the nanny...
animals have no concept of the third party: helpful...
at least parasites are two-dimensional...

Darwin is like Marx... unavoidably true...
but truth: this sort of truth: Nietzsche's aversion to Darwinism
plain-sight...
no sight of liberation...
it's just a mundaneness of Atlas passing
the globe to the little man and: the ants fared better...
ants and Solomon fared better...

to me Darwinism is like Marxism...
escaping Darwinism is not aided by journalism,
tabloid press... or fictive escapism...
or science per se...
    Darwinism has become an impasse
unlike the possibility of filtering the flaws of Marxism
through... **** sapiens and ogling
into the warped-hole kaleidoscope-****
of the **** similis of ape...
mammalian borrowing ontologies of fellow
mammals and further extending the borrowing,
stealing from other categories of animals:
the Mantis Woman... **** me...
at least Marxism allowed a group-think
being together and the common good is...
and the commonality of evil is...
and we can overcome said X to accomplish
yet to be discovered Y...
but with Darwinism the new Marxism this
atomised man... this grammatical baron
this mammal of lent traits of other mammals...
the crown... atop the decapitated head
of king Charles II...

i wasn't a fan of Marxists writing history...
i'm also not a fan of Darwinists writing the history
of the world...
that's Darwinism outside the scope
of the actual science, what's being popularised...
who want to wake up in the safeguard
of an Agrarian Society?
   while giving into the impulses of hunter and gather
sexed up shamanism...
easily liberated: so much for forward thinking...
so much for planning...
i love being "bored" with a book...
i love being bored cycling...
i love to not love having ***...

                    such advancements and yet so little
to show for it...
   because... spaghetti-feet tangling married
to shoe-laces...
               life without advertisements...
because... you only end up buying what you need
and not what other people demand you to buy
for them to buy in return...
       i abhor Darwinism as much as Marxism
in the realm of history...
it's soul crushing... it's soul-denying...
  Darwinism and Marxism are like-for-like...
to admire the natural world and feel jealous:
the clowns of the mammalian hierarchy,
the bears... sleep through winter... we? get goosebumps
from the cold...

and just because Darwinism originated in the English language?
no wonder it's being kept like that historical artifact
of the the crucified man... being:
hmm... and the wisdom of man is purest
by being so insolent as to have to be crucified?
said wisdom seems, therefore, borrowed... not his...
given the account of Matthias ben Josephus...
i was sold a ******* lie...
praise to Islam for having a pair of *******...
i wouldn't even dream of concerning myself
with dictating the replication of my DNA as thumb,
rule, to preserve... what?! only i thought what i thought...
does it matter whether i spit or ******* or
take a **** or... have eggs in three ways:
scrambled, poached or fried?!
does it?!

   the useful idiocy of women and the preservation
of non-intended demands outside the confines
of the natural world...
at one point the pyramids of Giza
yet another pin-point the Hagia Sophia of Constantinople...
me scribbling so little with such adamant
desire to shackle myself to fervours of
earthquakes... even if disappointing
and never to accomplish a widespread focus
of influencing others...
i'll die... with a welcomingly arrived at
THE END... and i will have no son or daughter
to grieve for me... or... list a litany of forgiving(s) -
because i failed... at least i failed on my own.
CANCER IS A VITAMIN-DEFICIENCY DISEASE: HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW —** “Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; by 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress. A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17): zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ~ vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ~ manganese ~ magnesium ~ selenium ~ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ~ vitamin A ~ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.) A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, angiosarcomal, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, cacoethic, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dyscrasial, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, germinogenic, gestational, glioblastomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, leiomyosarcomal, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical, leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, neurofibrosarcomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paramalignant, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polycythemial, polymorphic, polymorphical, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, seminomal, squamous, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous, tumoural, tumourous. Watch (available on You-Tube) G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer."

IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong). 2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking. 3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes. REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells. NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the Cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B-17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and Benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, ”When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.”
HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW — “Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; by 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress. A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17): zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ~ vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ~ manganese ~ magnesium ~ selenium ~ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ~ vitamin A ~ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.) A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, angiosarcomal, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, cacoethic, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dyscrasial, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, germinogenic, gestational, glioblastomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, leiomyosarcomal, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical, leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, neurofibrosarcomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paramalignant, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polycythemial, polymorphic, polymorphical, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, seminomal, squamous, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous, tumoural, tumourous. Watch (available on You-Tube) G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer."

IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong). 2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking. 3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes. REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells. NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the Cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B-17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and Benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, ”When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CANCER IS A VITAMIN-DEFICIENCY DISEASE: HOW TO CURE IT: DO NOT SUBMIT TO RADIO- & CRYO-ABLATIVE & CHEMO- “THERAPIES” — TAKE PANCREATIC ENZYMES — AVOID CERTAIN FOODS & HABITS — TAKE VITAMIN B17 (1 to 6 grams daily on a full stomach) AND THE VITAMINS LISTED BELOW — EAT THE CARCINOLYTIC FOODS LISTED BELOW — “Therapeutic” radiation, in any amount, harms living tissue. (Röntgen rays, electromagnetic radiation, x-rays, x-radiation, ionizing radiation, corpuscular radiation can be implemented for diagnostic purposes, but never for therapeutic benefit.) Chemo- “therapy” poisons healthy tissue [necrocytotoxin – a toxin that produces death of cells]. Of the 4 protocols in traditional (allopathic) cancer “therapy”: surgery (cutting), radiation (burning), cryo-ablation/cryosurgery (hypothermia) & chemo/chemical/chemicocautery (poisoning/toxifying), only manual surgery possesses some legitimacy when malignant (cancerous) growth has reached a certain stage. It is far better to avoid cancer than to treat it. Cancer is the body's inability to stop the process of healing, the same natural process in producing a placenta (that one pound ***** attached to the uterine membrane which serves to nourish a developing baby). The essential anti-cancer (tumoricidal) vitamin is VITAMIN B17 (known as Amygdalin, and as Laetrile when synthesized from apricot pips). If you have cancer you must greatly reduce, or avoid: caffeine, tobacco, red meat, alcohol, corn syrup, cane sugar, tomato products. [U.S. cancer affliction rates: the year 1900 : 3%; 1950 : 20%; 1972 : 27%; 1999 : 39%; by 2020 : 50%]

VITAMIN B17 is abundant in these foods: the seeds of apples, loquats, pears, pumpkins, watermelons; as well as in apricot kernels, bamboo shoots, barley grass (research: Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara) & wheat grass, beet tops, bitter almond, blackberries, boysenberries, brewers yeast, brown rice, buckwheat, cashews, cherry kernels, cranberries, currants, eucalyptus leaves, fava beans, flax seeds, garbanzo beans, gooseberries, guyabano, huckleberries, lentils, lima beans, linseed meat, loganberries, macadamia nuts, millet, millet seed, peach kernels, pecans, plum kernels, pokeberries, prickly ash bark, quince, raspberries, sorghum cane syrup, spinach, sprouts, tapioca (manioc), vetches and watercress. A person whose diet is deficient in these nitrilosidic foods (those foods rich in Amygdalin, the substance of which the molecularity is 1 part: the natural analgesic benzaldehyde, 1 part: hydrogen cyanide, 2 parts: glucose) is incapable of stopping the over-production of healing cells thus this person has cancer. To aid the pancreas a patient should take pancreatic enzymes & eat fresh pineapple and papaya. Supplement your diet with the nutrients (of which 95% of Americans are chronically deficient) that compliment Laetrile (vitamin B17): zinc (which is the transport mechanism for Laetrile/vitamin B17) ~ vitamin C (build up to 6 grams a day) ~ manganese ~ magnesium ~ selenium ~ vitamins B6, B9 & B12 ~ vitamin A ~ vitamin E (at least 2,000 I.U.) A cheap, over-the-counter, *****-analysis pregnancy test is accurate in 92% of cases at detecting cancerous cell activity in the body. Men & women can test for cancer upon rising with a pregnancy test as cancer and pre-embryonic cells are virtually indistinguishable (in functionality) from cells designated as: adenocarcinomal, adenocarcinomic, adenocarcinomical, ameboid, amniotic, amniotical, anaplastic, anaplastical, angiogenetic, angiogenetical, angiogenic, angiogenical, angiosarcomal, astrocytomal, astrocytomic, atypical, basal, basaltic, blastocystic, cacoethic, canceral, cancerial, cancerian, cancerigenic, cancerigenical, cancerillic, canceritic, cancerogenic, cancerogenical, cancroidal, cancerophilic, cankerous, carcinoembryonic, carcinoembryonical, carcinogenic, carcinogenical, carcinoidal, carcinomal, carcinomatoid, carcinomatous, carcinomic, carcinosarcomal, cholangiocarcinomal, chondrosarcomal, chordomal, dedifferentiated, desmoistic, desmoplastic, desmoplastical, dyscrasial, dysgerminomal, dysgerminomic, dysplastic, dysplastical, embryonal, embryonic, embryonical, endometrial, endophytic, epithelial, epitheliomatous, endophytic, exophytic, extra-embryonic, fetational, fetoplacental, fetoplacentic, foetational, fibroblastic, germinogenic, gestational, glioblastomal, hemangiosarcomal, histometaplastic, Hürthle, hypermutable, hypermutagenic, leiomyosarcomal, leukemial, leucaemicus, leukaemic, leukaemical, leukemic, leukemical, leukocythemic, leukocytomic, liposarcomal, lymphomal, lymphomic, macroglobulinemiac, malignant, malignantal, malignantic, malignus, medulloblastomal, melanocytic, melanomatous, melanotic, metastatic, metastatical, Müllerian, mutagenic, mutagenical, mutated, mutational, mycoplasmal, mycoplasmic, myelodysplastic, myelodysplastical, myelomal, myelomatoid, myelomonocytic, myelomonocytical, myeloproliferative, myxoid, myxoidic, necrogenic, necrogenous, neo-blastic, neo-embryonic, neo-fetal, neo-formative, neo-genetic, neo-genetical, neo-plasiac, neo-plasmatic, neo-plasmatical, neo-plasmical, neo-plasmic, neo-plastic, neo-plastigenic, nephroblastomal, neurofibrosarcomal, odontogenic, oncogenic, oncologic, oncological, osteosarcomal, paramalignant, paraneoplasmic, paraneoplastic, paraneoplastical, pathogenetic, pathogenetical, pathogenic, pathogenical, placental, placentational, pleiomorphic, pleomorphic, polycythemial, polymorphic, polymorphical, pluripotent, pre-cancerous, pre-embryonal, pre-leukemic, promyelocytic, promyelocytical, proto-embryonic, proto-leukemic, pre-squamous, pre-tumorous, proto-oncogenetic (gene), proto-tumorous, pseudocystical, quasi-neoplastic, sarcoidal, sarcomal, sarcomatous, seminomal, squamous, toxicogenic, toxicogenomic, trophic, trophical, trophoblastic, trophoblastical, trophoplasmatic, trophoplasmic, tumefactive, tumefied, tumid, tumidus, tumoral, tumorigenic, tumorigenical, tumorlike, tumorous, tumoural, tumourous. Watch (available on You-Tube) G. Edward Griffin's "World Without Cancer."

IN BRIEF Concerning Cancer: 1. Take a pregnancy test just after waking up. For men a positive result means either cancer or a false positive. Take another test the next day. If a man gets 3 positive results then likely he has cancer somewhere. For women a positive result means (if she's able to become pregnant) she's pregnant or she has cancer, or she's pregnant and she has cancer, or a false positive (the test result is wrong). 2. Several positive pregnancy test results = cancer. What next? STOP eating red meat, sugar, corn syrup. STOP drinking *****. STOP (or at least cut back on) smoking. 3. Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. Take vitamin B17 (at least 1 gram daily) and wheat grass and/or barley grass liquid or capsules (they're rich in vitamin B17), on a full stomach daily (you can't overdose on them ~ they're not poisonous). Take a zinc supplement. Take pancreatic enzymes. REVIEW: TAKE pregnancy tests to detect cancer. TAKE vitamin B17 (and as many of the listed vitamins as you can, especially zinc). Eat fresh pineapple & papaya. STOP eating red meat & cane sugar. It will take several weeks on B17 therapy to turn out negative pregnancy test results. The tumor WILL NOT shrink much even after the cancer is gone because only 10% of the tumor was cancer. The tumor MAY swell temporarily as the vitamin B17 kills malignant cells. NOTE: Vitamin B17 therapy WILL NOT destroy the tumor! Vitamin B17 therapy will destroy the malignant cells (cancerous cells) of the tumor and within the tumor. Only 5% to 10% of the cells comprising a tumor are cancerous cells. In time the tumorous growth will be absorbed, in whole or in part. Unless the tumor is cosmetically displeasing, impinging nerves or blood vessels or hampering normal ****** function then let it be.

The life expectancy for American medical doctors is 58 years.
The life expectancy for Haitian voodoo witch doctors is 62.7 years.

WEB: Dr. Dean Burk (March 21, 1904 – October 6, 1988), head of the Cytochemistry section of the National Cancer Institute has reported that in a series of tests on animal tissue, the B-17 had no effect, but released so much cyanide and Benzaldehyde when it came in contact with cancer cells that not one of them could survive. He said, ”When we add Laetrile to a cancer culture under the microscope, we see the cancer cells dying off like flies.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

— The End —