About now she is having her first cup
in her java ritual of waking up
starting the day by feeding the birds
who swoop too eat and hear her words.

St. Francis is smiling up there
seeing her quiet presence and care
presence to what is real
in the moment and what it reveals.

The creator is in his or her creatures
in shape, contour and natural features.
I don’t need TV, *****, caffeine
or any other fix to intervene.

And it is good to have friends who are kind
who help the helpless and the blind
who feed birds and spirits of the down
not looking for applause or renown.

Knowing and loving and being there
for others, taking time to care.
Having friends like this - a treasure
impossible to repay or measure.

So when I’m tempted to medicate
in any fashion, let me meditate
or be present to friends or birds in flight,
let me abide in their darkness and their light.

Written 07/08/2018

Why can't you just be normal?
That doesn't make any sense.
You can't be serious. Your life really isn't that bad.
Okay, well what would you like me to do?
You don't need medication, the doctors are just trying to push it on you to make money.
Okay, well then I'll get counseling.
That costs money too, how are you going to pay for it?
They have free stuff at the college-
Only poor people go there, they won't actually care about talking to you.
Okay.

Why are you mad?
Why are you crying?
Why are you ruining dinner?
What the ****, Ella?
You're not your mom, Ella.
You're so ******* stupid, do you know that?
Huh, do you?
They're just trying to use you.

You're paying, and I'm taking you home.
You're ******* crazy, you know that?*

-E (c) 2017

would you cry in vindiction
should i repossess your drugs
all i ever really wanted
was your kisses and your hugs