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Arlo Disarray Feb 24
i would be lying to myself
if i thought i had any sense
of control

my life has never been mine
i’ve been living for other people
for as long as i can remember

i’m easily turned into mush
squished down into
a pathetic
little gooey puddle
of insecurities
and uncertainty
that have been forced onto me
by the people
who were supposed
to care for me

i guess what i’m trying to say
is that i’m not a real person
i’m like pinocchio
trying to cut my own strings
but my arms aren’t long enough
to reach them

so instead
i’m tangled up in knots
and i’m lost
along
the constant ticks
of my clock
as time wears me down
trying to push me to feel
things i don’t want
to be real
the dusty memories stacked up
in the back of my mind
are trying to find me

and i’m scared
i am so afraid of myself
of my own mind

i never wanted to know myself this well

Arlo Disarray©
Malia Jan 26
Am I supposed
To be here?
This doesn’t feel—
This doesn’t feel—

real.

I’m sleep-walking
Through a lucid dream.
It’s so, so loud.

I don’t hear anything at all.

My mind is only
Television static.
Why can’t I—
Why can’t I—

𝘉𝘶𝘻𝘻.

𝘉𝘦𝘦𝘱.
Weird feeling of feeling like you’re dreaming when walking through the school hallways.
Ren Sturgis Dec 2023
Another night as I lie awake somewhere in between this realm and the next
I hold myself the way I've done for so long
Missing something that feels so distant yet phases in so close to reality
Processing....
Dissociative dimension loading....
Physically here, mentally checked out
Overthinking taking the wheel
Not real, not real, not real
Pain, so much pain. Can't get it out of my head.
A figment of my imagination; it's clutches digging deep into my heart
Don't leave me
I'll be okay I have to be
Smile
I'm fine I promise (I'm not)
Blink away the tears that threaten to fall
Emotion consumes
Resolve
You're so strong they say
Voices whisper 'give up'
I don't wanna give up
There's still so much I want to do
Please help me
I'm not strong enough, but I'm a good person I swear
Hold me I'm begging
Tell me everything will be alright
Just once that's all I need
I'll never ask for anything else
I won't be an inconvenience anymore
I don't know anymore
Let go, let go, let go
Release control
I always tend to write in the wee hours of the morning when the thoughts consume me.
mhm Dec 2023
Read the people around you
Long ago I saw the stars above
They went somewhere
Its an idea, like all the others

Just as all the others
A distant, cold place
But familiar
I understood, maybe some day

At the end of the day
Burns never heal
Only out-shined by new flame
I am the Iron, that stains
hi
Caosín Dec 2023
Heaven forbid
I should live in the ******* moment.
Heaven forbid
I should feel without obstacle.
Heaven forbid
I should kiss you, here and now.
Heaven forbid
I should step outside of my box of worries.
Heaven forbid!
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