This summer, I’ve thought a lot,
About how I’m in a liminal standstill.
The crossroads of life,
Childhood to the left, and adulthood to the right.
Which way do I go?
I don’t have a choice.
The only way to go,
Is forward toward the void.
I must go on,
Listening to the songs that spark my envisioning,
Imagination bleeds into reality.
I must accept,
That there’s never enough time,
But that’s okay.
I’ll water her flowers and try not to complain,
Because she means the world to me.
The singer and the lyricist,
Moved on from their precipice,
Perhaps I can do the same.
I’ll rise, like a daisy,
Even when the world is feeling hazy.
I’ll remember what the Wendigo told me,
And what I learned from Dracula’s kidnapping.
It’s humbling to find,
That I’m at the world’s whim as much as it’s at mine.
Just a change in my paradigm.
I’ll make sure I won’t be like Vain,
Or like Russel, used for his brain.
I’ll overcome my fear and drive,
And leave my other fears behind.
Acne won’t entrap me forever,
There’s always another summer,
Though the heatwaves might be a ******.
I’m all in,
Avoiding artificial interactions.
I’ll try to see what they see,
And overcome this anxiety.
Oh, what thoughts can be stirred from a monochromatic shade of grey,
But I’ll fight through the haze.
I’ve seen,
That the last summer of reprieve,
Is as much of an ending,
As it is a beginning.

an angel and a devil materialize on each shoulder,

standing beneath the stage lights,

empty-mouthed, waiting for a whisper of a line,

but who is to say what’s wrong or right?

i know I’m not.

their playbook dances in my head,

so if not me, then who?

n.h.

In a state of confusion,
Staring at the sky.
Seeking seclusion,
Never knew why.
It's all  illusion,
It's all lies.

When walking down a busy road,
I saw everyone follow a line untold.
That line never was there,
But remained as the only thing fair.

Since then I see lines again
And again in one place or two.
A seat, coordinated for every little grain,
And none, ever, misplaced in the cue.

In buildings anew, among flocks and mass
Lines cast a shadow to view, a petite lash.

Sometimes they shift on their own, in quiet,
But change the crux of the heavy watch.
The line was never there before,
Yet I seem to see it anywhere and whole.

The line never remains the same,
It's just drawn in a wiggle, a bit unfair—
With no aesthetic in mind to tame,
It even contradicts its defining lair.

Yet, the system lies in this indecisive string,
That's unable to even tighten its own being.
An irony to the worldly rules,
Linear confusions jolt its screws.

The first thoughts of my days
and the last thoughts of my nights
has left me alone in the void
to do nothing but wander here and there;

Tell me, how do I move on
when my heart
has found its home?

Your eyes made me feel proud
and I could find them in any crowd,
but how stupid of me to think
that I was the only flower in your garden.

I've lost a part of my heart
that was never really mine
and now it hurts so much
as if I have lost a real part.

Although if I let you go away,
I will still find the missing pieces
of you in others because
I can never let you go.

You are still stuck over a soul,
and there's nothing I can do more
but all I am asking for is a chance,
and of course, I'll wait even when the train doesn't arrive.

growing up
is all a memory now,
i don't remeber
when i just magically
became a teenager.

but i know
im becoming who i
used to be.

shades of blue for my sorrow,
shades of grey for my tear stained pillow,
shades of teal for the ocean i used to watch,
and shades of orange for the sunrise that i never watched.

im bringing back
my good old friends --
emotion
and confusion.

i don't know
who i am
or what im doing.

because i magically
recieved all these
responsibilities.
i was never ready for this,
i sure never asked for it either.