I got braces when I was 16
that year I never kissed anyone
but I made boys steal things from pricy bookstores
I measure time by my teeth
every year they get more crooked
the older I get they seem to shift back to old territory
old habits
old

now even smoking cigarettes feels boring
when I walk into bookstores
I leave sticky notes with advice I wish someone would have told me then

they did
but maybe if I had found it somewhere I was looking
I might have paid more attention
my retainer sits in a shelf collecting grime

teeth shouldn't
lie on pavement
and blood shouldn't
run down your face

and as i dragged
myself along the
side of the road
i thought to myself

this is the lowest
moment of my life

flat on my back
staring into the
12 o'clock high sun
and sobbing

i wanted to die before
this moment but now
it's only reinforced
cemented in place
that in fact i can't
do anything right

some wise woman
supposed sage of ages
once told my mother
that for every great emotion
a person needs a physical
container to put it in

but what should one do
when their container
has always been a retainer
that now doesn't fit?

hit where it hurts most
my mouth
years spent suffering
so i can wake up
every morning with a
fresh twenty dollar smile

and now that's
all gone i suppose

maybe i'm vain
or maybe i'm dumb
but the smile makes
the woman and mine
is looking like i'm
not so human

penny for my thoughts?
i'd give a lifetime of
change jars to get
back my perfect teeth

My jet-lagged self sleeps early,
wakes early, sleeps again, reads.
Having watched one movie too many over summer
I relish the sounds designed above- a click
of a door handle, bare warm socks gliding
across wooden floor, the scrunch of toothbrush
against the rusting metal straightening yellowing teeth,
the few lone cars across the street, that hazy
early sound that only light can make as it
becomes aware of itself in my dorm room. What
kind of camera lens would make this moment more
livable and is it already dead?

Today I looked into the mirror
Saw a little glimmer
Of hope
Even though
I know
Right now it looks like I have none

I just had five teeth pulled
Out of my skull
I know I look real ugly
But I'm looking at the future

I will need to wear braces
I get them in two weeks
But at least nobody can tease me
For being so **** fugly!

They can't taunt my teeth
Because I'm finally getting them fixed

Mouth full of metal
Pocket full of teeth (broke)
These are the trials for perfect smiles
Our loss their gain
The dentists make money again
Weekly monthly wires crossing replacing
Wondering if its even worth it
Like false guarantees: "won't be like on TV"
Not even close.

Mouth full of wires
Pocket full of stones
One stops you at the airport-

The other at the  bottom  of the bay...

Grown Up "Cool Kids"*

Nowadays cool kids are wearing business
Suits *and  ties all the boring time,

Nowadays cool kids are chewing tobacco
Drinking Budweiser AND wine,

Nowadays cool kids are driving break neck
Speed to get to everyday places,

Nowadays cool kids are going to war and
Using bombs to "save us,"

Nowadays cool kids are paying $6,000 for
The cheapest pair of braces,

So this is what being "cool" is all about?
And this is what makes America so proud?

Where I come from being cool is being wise,
Staying clean and sober, honest girls and guys,
Who don't have to hurt their health
Just to have a really good time.