Lake-wet and found forgiving,
patch-work body and pasture-raised pleasure,
rolling in the grass and basking in
bare-skinned clarity.
They were right, you are a fairy.

Water filled to the brim, may I drink from your fountain,
may I toss my pennies in,
and is a wish like a prayer,
or should I save my change for rain?
Filling puddles like copper lakes,
putting a snake in for Heaven's sake,
splitting my own rib and calling it mate.

When I first saw you it was just your reflection,
you caught my attention, doubling your beauty with your liquid presence.
I asked if I could come in and take a dip in your drip,
you nymphaeum of bliss,
and you said "Yes, yes but not yet.",
like the breath we share before a kiss,
like the moment before sunset,
like the bed unmade around our shapes,
like the ripples our forms in this pool radiate.

I must grow gills because you took the breath right out of my lungs.

Love me, Pisces, Venus smiles for us.

I may not be as
horrible as hunger burning
like salt in a wound
or as
cruel as centuries of colonizers
but I can be almost
as unbearable.

When the weight and wrath
of reality seeps in,
I spew it out.
I take others along for
a weeping woeful ride,
knowing all too well that
my universe of pain is so intense
that they would live in it too.

I saw no problem with this
until the wrath was no
longer mine but the world’s.

Now I try to
sit with the feeling
instead of becoming it.
I never want to be
the one who does not
get to collect
a new harvest of mangoes
worrying about the rain.

Another day for discovery, another dance of fate
One that's guaranteed to please, the stars have set this date
The twins are free, the moon is high, and Mars has come in line
And on this, the 5th, my lucky day, I have to rise and shine

With fingers crossed and wood well-knocked, I leave my lonely place
The words of the fortune cookie have put a smile upon my face
With lucky penny and rabbit's foot, my future must be sound
But, just in case, when I spy the ladder, I will choose to go around

I'm lucky 21 today and I've wished upon my star
No mirrors broke or salty spills, no black cats on my path
A brand new year, to quell my fears, and act on all my schemes
Today's my day, destined to meet, the stranger of my dreams
  
But as my lucky day unfolds, and my hopes are stretched and bruised
The world continues just the same, like it doesn't know my rules  
And expectation is not met, nor new advantage gained
For though the signs are all in  place, the day is just the same

What has gone wrong, why is this so, have I left something out?
This day should be so joyful, and make me sing and shout
Yet as day's end nears and I taste the tears, of disappointment and despair
A sudden thought occurs to me, that I can hardly bear

Little rabbit, tucked in my purse, and nestled at my side
Who offers luck and promises, a life changing surprise
He paid a price for lucky feet, for that which he was bred
He hops no more, and twitches not, for little bunny's dead

And as I ponder on rabbit's fate, a new thought comes to me
About my shining lucky penny, that grandma gave to me
That trinket has daily been with me, since I was only nought
Yet, didn't stop the darker days, that life and loss have wrought

And what of horsey, free and fair, who wants to run and neigh?
But lost his shoe and was tethered to, become a human's slave
My breath was short and my face was wet, as I sought the truth to see
That planets were indifferent and not aware of me

No clover found, no lucky star, no bad luck from spilled salt
And the dreamcatcher above my bed, also nightmares caught
And even old Saint Christopher, who was meant to protect me  
Didn't help the day I crashed my car into a tree  

And suddenly, I knew the truth, with my future plain to see
That all these things were not in control, that it was up to me
That sometimes we have accidents and illnesses and such
And objects would not be for us, a prevention or a crutch

That stars and numbers just exist and birthdays will come and go
And sometimes we will make mistakes, and life will ebb and flow
And realizing all these things, I suddenly felt free
And vowed then to prepare myself, for future misery

For all the rituals and the charms, and lucky numbers too
Had not produced a happy life, or made a future new
I would take control and steer my life, by my own deeds instead
For rabbit's foot could not help him, and sadly, bunny's dead

We loved so hard
dreamed too much
I felt our souls connect-
in the deepest parts of the ocean
we were drowning,
Faces white,
we struggled to breathe...
Held on tight until our hands turned red
We knew we'd fail,
as we did in our past lives,
as we will in our next.
And the fishes stared,
waiting to eat our carcasses,
We'd done this before,
We knew how it ends but we did it anyway,
I was luna, maybe you were my astral twin.

you can trust me
secrets
wishes
desires
all kept under my lock and key
they can’t hurt you
not unless they take my entry
and steal what was ours to keep
i would never betray my own word
only if you abandon me
the depths of my own knowledge
are often so bittersweet
filled with the voices of a thousand murmurs,
sayings that are mine to keep
admit it once,
i’ll lock it away
never for anyone to peek

every night
you haunt my thoughts
the feeling of your velvet touch
lingers on my skin
i see you in my dreams
your voice echos my every thought
i wish you would go away
but all you had to do that night was stay
i know what i did was wrong
if only you knew what i knew

lurking
whispers
memories of lost moments
maybe it’s supposed to be this way

a new day
new faces
endless masks to wear

decisions

details

the fork in the road
stops me in my tracks

have i made the right choices?

did i say the right thing?

my mind has no limits
but stops working
when you walk into the room
i’m not good enough for you
i know that i’ll never be good enough for you
but i’ll keep trying
my heart aches
for its missing piece