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246 · Jul 2017
alone
Nicole Eden Jul 2017
the tears cannot be hidden any longer
narrow streams drip down my cheeks
i hate this feeling
i hate feelings
i long for happiness
why do i let my heart and mind get the best of me
i don't deserve this
my face is buried in the sheets
smothered by a pillow
desperate to hide the sobbing
i don't know who to turn to
where to run
where to hide
i know i can't be the only one
but why does it feel like i am?
245 · Jul 2017
to you
Nicole Eden Jul 2017
i feel safe here
the words pour out of my body instead of tears
i read other people's words
i feel safe
because i know i am heard
we all want to be heard
i hear you
242 · Aug 2017
Tired
Nicole Eden Aug 2017
Tired
Fading with the wind
Exausthed
Body limp from the day's burdens
Emotionally drained
From the verbal abuse
Mind bruised
Body aches
Heart broken
I am tired
239 · Aug 2017
brought to life
Nicole Eden Aug 2017
it is in the quiet moments
that i hear my brain speak.
i see the words coming to life
i feel my heart nudging me
i begin to write
i write and write till i feel whole and full
and no longer empty
but complete.
this writing thing is new to me
and also old at the same time
it was always in me all along
i just finally found it
buried in my heart.
to you all - thank you for showing me i am not alone
233 · Aug 2017
<3
Nicole Eden Aug 2017
<3
a boy hugged me today
it came as a surprise

and

i do not think i have stopped smiling since
226 · Sep 2018
you
Nicole Eden Sep 2018
you
You have become a familiar sound.
The whisper of the wind in my ear,
The gentle breeze that tickles my nose,
The white noise lulling me to sleep at night,
The hum of my fan silencing all thoughts to rest.
I am drawn into the whirlwind of you
and all the pleasurable peace that resides within you.
225 · Aug 2017
Him
Nicole Eden Aug 2017
Him
‪I wonder
if he thinks of me
as often
as I think of him‬
219 · Sep 2018
he said
Nicole Eden Sep 2018
"He said
it's just hard for him
to see you
not with him."

and that was all it took
for my heart to burn
and my eyes to sting.
213 · Dec 2017
name callings
Nicole Eden Dec 2017
every boy i ever know
always calls me cute
i am not a pretty girl
i am not a beautiful girl
i am not a strong girl
i am a twig
a vulnerable stick
that easily blows away in the wind
a boy messages me
they say im hot
they want my body
not my heart
the only boy who ever called me beautiful was a boy i used to love but who never truly loved me back
a boy called me beautiful the other day
he made my night
until i realized it was the curls in my hair and the dress on my body
he made me feel good in that moment
but those feelings never last
195 · May 2019
waves of you
Nicole Eden May 2019
the waves crash as i look back at you
a moment of pure inhibition
i am unable to contain
the feelings bottled up inside of me
like a ship waiting to be pulled out of the glass that captures it
captivated by the waves
or by the flicker in your eyes
178 · Jul 2017
sparkling sadness
Nicole Eden Jul 2017
he bought me a ring
a tiara ring
made of hearts
encrusted with rhinestones
it was my birthday
it was beautiful
until
i broke up with him
then i looked at my ring
and i realized he bought it for me
because i was his princess
176 · Aug 2017
passing
Nicole Eden Aug 2017
lying in the hospital bed
his arm soft yet wrinkled
i kissed him
  a smile on his face
told us he could beat it
covered in a soft blue blanket
his failing organs
surrounded by those who love him dearly
he smiled
we came and left
and now
he has come and left
169 · May 2019
Dear Precipitation
Nicole Eden May 2019
I want to take a bath in a pile of leaves.
I want to stuff snow into my pockets.
I want to bake cookies out of rain.
I want to fuel my car with fog.
I want to frost cakes with clouds.
I wish the wind would pedal my bike.
I wish the thunder would sing me to sleep.
I wish the lightning would start my stove.
I wish the hail would beat down my stains.
I wish the sun would give me joy.
168 · May 2019
The Fall of Time
Nicole Eden May 2019
10 p.m.
My head hits the pillow.
My mind begins its marathon of thoughts that always end with you at the finish line.
Your plot to weaken me grows,
with every flashing glow from my phone.

12 a.m.
Electrical charges pulse back and forth from our lips.
A conversation on steroids.
I dread the withdrawal,
Until all that is left is my own wishful thinking.

3 a.m.
A hot waterfall of emotions slipping down my back.
Vulnerability, guilt, and pride swirl into a tornado down the drain.
Flinging on a robe, I leap to write down all hopeless fantasies of our romances.
Only evoking my insides to dance once more.

5 a.m.
Eyes blink rapidly.
Bricks lay across the body, but the heart weighs no more than a feather.
He types letters onto a screen to me like gasoline fueling a fire.
He places a match in my hands,
As he flees the scene.
167 · Jul 2017
Forget
Nicole Eden Jul 2017
‪I don't think I'll ever forget the special moments we shared how can you just
F o r g e t
161 · Dec 2017
to him someday
Nicole Eden Dec 2017
i am ******* beautiful
i have a beautiful laugh
i have an amazing smile
and my eyes will always smile for you
you will always make me smile
i deserve love and affection and kindness
i deserve to be happy
i was created beautifully by him who made me
i will be loved
and i will love you
more than i have ever loved anyone ever
and i will never stop loving you
i will do anything to make you happy
i want you to be happy
forever
and i want to be happy with you
as long as you are happy with me
93 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Nicole Eden Sep 2018
“Are you ready?”
3...2...1... and suddenly I am a bird.
Soaring 434 feet above all things green and blue.
I open my wings and g   l   i   d   e.
“GRAB THE ROPE”
My exhilaration comes to a halt as I realize my wings are slowly breaking.
A rope is thrown in an attempt to save me.
My father curses under his breath as I slowly slide back into the blue-green abyss.
To my right, a waterfall cries and I feel at peace
as my savior comes to fix my broken wings.
I step foot on land as my father’s arms welcome me.

— The End —