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Aug 2023 · 370
Fictional Echoes of Love
Deceive my heart, weave a tale untrue,
Whisper love, say I'm the one for you.

I'll sense the falsehood, still, I'll find reprieve,
In my delusions, happiness I'll achieve.

I plead with you, spin a tale so sweet,
My love unreturned, a wound so deep.

Lie to me, let me cling to false dreams,
For in your lies, my broken heart redeems.
In shadows cast, I stand, my heart feels sore,
Not beautiful, but "cute," at best, they implore.
Love's worth, in men's eyes, I can't seem to find,
Reduced to an object, desire defined.

A foolish dream, I once held in my heart,
To be loved, cherished, a meaningful part.
Yet, my hope, now crushed, I can't ignore,
As I see myself, just a piece to explore.

In this darkness, I resign my fate,
A piece of meat, to be hunted, innate.
Devoured by men's hunger, I now see,
In this harsh reality, my soul's decree.
Aug 2023 · 1.2k
Bound in unrequited love
In loving you, no apologies I make,
My heart breaks, its pieces start to ache.
Meeting you, a bittersweet delight,
Knowing I'll never be her shadow's light.

True love knows no bounds, no demands,
I accepted you, flaws and all, no reprimands.
Yet, as you choose to return to her embrace,
My heart's agony, I struggle to erase.

I'd ****, I'd die, I'd steal for you, it's true,
A love so deep, a bond that still holds true.
Forever and a day, I'll be yours to keep,
Even as my heart shatters, my soul does weep.
Aug 2023 · 349
Use me
Darlin', you can use me, I'm here to please,
Without you, I'm numb, lost at sea.
You can use me, honey, for my love's delight,
Abuse me, sugar, I'll teach you how to make it right.

Break me down, my love, touch me deep,
In your arms, I find solace, my soul to keep.
Don't let me go, my baby, keep me near,
Without your love, I fear loneliness I'll revere.

I know I walked away, seeking sanity's flight,
But now I'm here, I'm empty inside, lost in the night.
Take me back, end this aching pain,
A sliver of you, a piece of your love, let it remain.

Lie to me, darlin', I'll accept the game,
Hurt me, honey, anything's better than this heart's pain.

In your embrace, I find my sweet escape,
Lost in the shadows, my heart's twisted shape.
Use me, my love, I'll gladly comply,
For a moment with you, I'd endure any lie.

Abuse me, my baby, I'm under your spell,
Craving your touch, this pain, I'll quell.
Don't let me go, keep me close and tight,
Fear of losing you haunts me each night.

I know I left you, a choice I once made,
But now I'm broken, my soul starts to fade.
Take me back, my love, let me feel alive,
In a fragment of you, my hope will survive.

Tell me lies, I'll pretend they're true,
For the taste of your love, there's nothing I won't do.
Hurt me, my baby, in your arms I'll sway,
Any torment with you, I'll gladly obey.

In this twisted dance, we're both entwined,
Bound by desire, this love of a kind.
You use and abuse, and I yearn for more,
In this twisted love, we find what we adore.
Apr 2022 · 6.0k
Fear
I am afraid of you
I am afraid of what you can make me do
Your touch can weaken my legs
You grab me by the throat my heart skips and leaps
You whisper in my ear
The warmth of your breath sends chills down my spine
Your words make my stomach turn

I am so very afraid of you
Knowing that every act betrays all that I am
And still, I can’t sleep tonight  anticipating you

I am afraid of you
I don’t know what I feel. I just know I have never felt it before
I know I have never been so free under your control
Jan 2022 · 3.9k
Untitled
I crave you
I want you
I need you

You made me love you
You made me care for you
You made me submit to you

You claimed  my body
You claimed my mind
You claimed my heart

And now where are you?
I’m yours without a collar
I’m yours without you

I crave you
I want you
I need you
Dec 2019 · 123
Depression
My small tug boat in the ocean
It’s raining, the wind is roaring
It’s dark the moon’s light barely shining through

Then I see it
The wave
Taller than any building
And it’s growing
This black beast

The fear of this wave should be crippling
But I know this wave

As it swallows me whole
I fight
I fight and fight
I know to give in would only pull me deeper into the ocean

I have no choice
I will NOT drown today
Dec 2019 · 256
Your Eyes
If I could borrow your eyes
Only for a few minutes

If I could see this so called beauty
This strength
This poise you claim I carry

If I could only see what you see
Maybe I could love me
Nov 2019 · 157
Untitled
Would you truly like to see inside my soul
It’s desolate and dark
Nov 2019 · 107
Do I love you?
“Do you love me?”
You ask as if I know

You ask someone so damaged as myself
I could only know love if it was a bottle on the shelf

Since being with you I drink more
I drink so the feelings I have I can ignore

These feelings are dangerous

I am destroyed from within
A mirror shattered and broken
Unable to make a figure of a person

So you ask again

I think so I’m not to sure
But to let you know would be torture

You would know your power
You would try to control
Or maybe you wouldn’t..
well who really knows

Soon this will end with a finale
Soon there will be smoke and lights
And I will be gone out of your sight

I run from men like you
I fear men like you

I am afraid because I think I love you
Nov 2019 · 509
I hate you
You make me cry
You make me want to scream

I hate you
I truly do

I crave you
I want you

This is why I hate you

You make me feel lovable
You make me want to be better

This is why I hate you

I find myself wanting to open up and share what’s within my soul to you

I hate you

Your gaze strips me bare
This is why I cannot stare

I hate you

You make me want to kiss you
And say

I love you
Nov 2019 · 116
Daddy
In the throws of passion
He has complete control of me

When his hand glides against my skin
My body screams for him

When he looks into my eyes
My soul comes alive

He knows the power he holds
I begin to unfold

I fall prey to his kiss
Every heartbeat and breath I miss
Jul 2019 · 126
Darkness awaits
I feel ashamed.
Not because of anything I did but what was done to me.

As I sit in dark silence I wonder.
Did I do this to myself?

“Yes” I hear the voice of a demon I have known for so long.
His voice is so loud that I can’t hear my angels or gods.

I try to run from him in endless darkness.
I know and I try to hold on to the thought
“It’s not my fault”

But the words I slowly forget

I stare at this demon his mouth moving
I try to fight but my mouth becomes his reflection

“It’s my fault”

Now he has won.
He smiles
He reaches for me

“It’s my fault”

He kisses me

“I will never leave”

He holds me in his icy embrace

“I deserve this”
“I’m not worth anything better”

So I stay with my demon.
Jul 2018 · 8.4k
In a dark room
Inhale

I hear your breath in my ear

Exhale

I feel your lips in between my thighs

Heart beat

I hear you whisper in my ear

I close my eyes

I see your bliss when you're inside of me

I open my eyes

Back arched legs quiver, I release all my pressure

Touching my breast

I feel you pressed against me, in and out your essence fills me


Tossing in my dark room

I’m looking down on you as my hips move against you like waves on a shore

Wanting you

****** energy so strong, I fall in love the moment you touch me

Kiss me

So I can feel a connection that is otherwise lost when our clothes come back on
Jun 2016 · 427
Once More
My king come to me
Take me into your arms
Lead me to love
Lead me to heart

Show me who I really am with just a touch of your hands
Remind me of my beauty with a glance of your eye
Take me home by wrapping me in your ever comforting embrace

Once more I beg before we part
Once more my love show me your heart
The way your guards break when you look at me

Let me hear your heart beat so once more I can see
The man who chose to love some one like me
Jul 2015 · 4.3k
Untitled
Maybe I can breathe without  you
Maybe the pain won't go away but it can dull

I see now that I can live
Not how I once was
But I will try to get ****** near close

I can't stop my life
Because we stopped our love
Jul 2015 · 664
Decisions
Do I have the right to complain?
Do I have a right to have pain?
My choice and my decision, one I will regret till my days are finished.

What have I done?
And why can't I undo it?
If I undid it could I live with it?

So I die with and without it.
Slowly inside
I burrow my cries into lost pages

I died that night and yet I still live
I float in-between
Heaven and hell
Earth and space
Life and death

If I tell you I'm lonely
If I tell you I'm broken
You mistake the words I have spoken

I'm not after you
I'm not here to hurt you
I thought our minds were the same
But it's clear I'm insane

Please won't someone take away this pain
The question of the lost and the broken

Our tears leave us faceless, nameless
And some how a few turn shameless
Jul 2015 · 554
No name for pain
Have you ever felt broken inside?
No matter how many pills you take the pain doesn't seem to subside?

You cry at night because there's no one at your side,
To hold you close and help you refuse to die?

There's heavy weight of grief, but you go through the motions because you know you won’t  find a release

A sense of peace is all you pray to God for

Looking for a way out but the Devils got you down on all fours

You can't seem to get out and only to tears seem to let out
The silent cries as your heart dies and you tell yourself more lies

You will never be smart enough, pretty enough so you remain tough

Don't let em see you break.

And life you take,
Headstrong trying to push on,
But gravity presses down
And laughs at you trying to get up.

You look around now
All you have now seems hopeless.
Lost words broken promises and words unspoken.

What are you to do?

The men drool, the girls are cruel
But all anyone wants is to take from you.

If you can find you, maybe you find enough you to last.

Try to escape from your past and reach the future that's in clear view,
That's just too good to be true

This is just another life lesson

So here comes another sleepless night

Here comes another day to fight

Here comes another path with no light

How can you complain
This life is just you
Jun 2015 · 377
Serving his madness
I have been thinking of you
Thoughts so real
You walk in the room
I see you
My heart quickens in pace
Your fingers move across me and undo my lace
Oh my king where have you been?

As you lay me down our eyes locked in a passion
Your kiss bitter sweet as wine
Your touch weakens me as you say to me
"You are mine"
I beg for your hands to stop playing games with my body

You enter me, I moan in pleasure or pain
I can't tell the difference
All I know is
In this moment I have you
In this dream I feel you
I have been faithful I served you as you wished
But betrayed you with this curse some say is a gift

Morning breaks a brand new day
But the pain is old and all too familiar
Because my name I don't hear you say
Your scent a distant memory
I look to my side
And it's not you
May 2015 · 396
Mothers Day Poem
It's a day designed for strength and power

A day that's filled with assorted chocolates and flowers

A day that represents the love of all loves

The appreciation of a human
with God attributes to create from ones self

To raise her little helper
with little to no help

Her Prince with the Hebrew name
her courage to do what ever for that Prince and show no shame

the Israeli queen hustled 365
and two days to praise her are only set aside
her birth and the day she gave birth

with the miracle pregnancy which was not supposed to happen
but the child had her strength no doctor could have imagined

this day is for mothers of royal status
perfect beings to there child

selfless, caring, loving, strong ......

To the strongest people to walk the earth
that we call MOM
A poem that was written for me from a dear friend. I did space it differently from the original writing for reading purposes.
Thank you my friend. I appreciate all you do! Happy mothers day to all!!!
Apr 2015 · 542
The Clock
The clock is ticking.
It's mocking me.
As I lie in this bed, where our love was spent time and time again.
The clock makes me aware of the time.
The clock makes me think on the past, future and present.

The clock speaks.
Reminding me of what we had.
Painting what we could have been.
And telling me what we are now.

The clock. The time.
When has time done me justice?
Its supposed to get better in time.
But the clock ticks, mocks, and pesters me.

As I lay in my bed.
I fear the silence.
I dread the night.
I loath sleep.
Dreaming of you.

Waiting for you to come to me once again.
Wrap your arms around me.
Bring me the peace I so desperately need.

The clock ticks.
And I need you.
Apr 2015 · 422
Trust
"Trust me." A sentence so easily said.
how can one trust another human being.
Look what we have done to each other.

Then we all pray to God above for healing in our hearts from giving this "trust".
Though while we were "trusting" we knew in our core the pain we will feel from this decision.
Mar 2015 · 4.4k
King of Sweet Madness
I will wait for you.
I will follow you.

Break me. Beat me. Use me. love me.
I am yours
I have let go of control.

I have lost what it means to be human.

You break me till I fall to my knees.
But you love me all the way down.

You cut me open and kiss the wounds with salt upon your lips.
Sweet evil ruler of my mind body and soul, don't ever release me from this beautiful cursed bond.
Don't leave me to wander around lost and confused.

I need your hate. I need your love.
I need this exotic abuse.
So rare that few have tasted.

I don't understand this form of love, but you are the ruler of this love.

You know how much to torture.
You know how much to love.
You give enough and take plenty.

King of darkness and yet some how you shine light.      
Pushing me away to draw me near.
Dominating me and giving me power.
What is this madness?
Why can't I stop?
Your the most addictive drug and I will never quit.

My king of madness, I bow to you.
Feb 2015 · 400
If
If
If I called asking you to be by my side
Would you be there?    
If I just stopped texting and calling
Would you care?            
If I said I wanted to be in your life forever
Would you share?
If I asked you to take my hand and jump
Would you dare?
Feb 2015 · 2.5k
Dear God
I want to trust You.
You won't tell me what to do.
I keep seeking You, but You drift further away from veiw.

My life is a ******  up mess and I'm sorry for my life choices and how I dress.
But I'm not sorry for this conversation

I cry out for help and it's like You’re  procrastinating.
Leaving me suffering and now I'm hating
My God, my God why have you forsaken?

You were my one true love
As I look to the skies above I cry.
Send me a dove and bring me Your peace

Let me know Your love and that sweet release of peace
Dance with me yet again, my one true friend.
Have I fallen so far that this is the end?

Can You even hear me anymore?
Is it true what they say that God could never love a *****?
Am I going crazy and trusting in a fantasy?

No I know You. I know You are real.
Now I question  if you care, this isn't fair.

I drop to my knees and bow to the King of Kings
I won't leave until You bless me.
I won't stop calling till You acknowledge me
Stubborn I may well be

If You say to trust you
Do something!
Speak now!
I'm waiting.
Please God don't let me turn away.

When I was broken and so swallowed by fear and didn't  speak.
You spoke for me.

When I was filthy and weak
You cleansed me and gave me strength

Now I need that divine power.
Not for me but someone  smaller.
Do You not remember?
My beautiful  child, the one You gave.
My husband  has ran away.
You promised to alway stay

Come to me once again my lover and friend.
Pick me Up and spin
Like You used to.
I will have faith You won't let me fall.

Don't let me walk away.
Save me one more time.
"I am Yours and You are mine"
This is the song I sing to You.

Have you forgotten me Lord?
I remember this day I wrote this. This was shortly before I walked away from the church.
Feb 2015 · 370
My love
The moment you came into my life, everything changed.
It changed me, the way think, walk, talk.

Even though its just me and you now
I would never change the choice I made that day

Your smile brings me life
Your laugh gives me hope
You my son are more than happiness to me.
Jan 2015 · 970
You Dont Know Me
You don't know me
And I don't know you

You can't own me
And I can't own you

You say you love me
I think I believe its true

You won't leave her
Because your scared of what I might do

You don't know me
And I don't know you

You can't hold me
I'm just a fantasy  

I'm what you want from her
I'm what you need from her

You don't want me
You want her

That's why you don't know me
Cause then you will see I can never be her
Jan 2015 · 700
Mistress' Night
I sleep alone tonight
I have you to myself the whole day.
Texting, flirting, kisses, hugs.
I am complete

Then the day ends
I go to my bed and sleep alone
So in love, I toss and turn
Your on my mind

You go home
You go to her bed
And you snuggle up next to her
Jan 2015 · 653
The Dancer's Heart
She moves her body to the song
The black lights hit her skin and she is perfection
They marvel at the sight of her
As she spins, her face is cool

Inside
Her heart is hurt, depression and lonliness
She winds and grinds to the beat
Her breast perfect proportion to her body
Her curves and **** all play together well
But her mind is shattered

From head to toe you would think perfection
She flashes a smile that you would think is genuine

She is lost
Torn
And broken
Jan 2015 · 598
Love Song
Your heart beat is my Bass, beating and giving rythm to my life

Each breath you take is my melody, the life of my life song

Your cologne is my harmony, calming to my soul

Your touch is my piano, playing a soft tune amongst my skin      

Your eyes my voice, as I sing along to your enchanting song of love

Your kiss is the cresendo, building up to the height of our love song

You make love to me at the peak of our daily song.
Your good bye, the end of our song. As you return to your life
And I... I sit and wait for us to make a duet again

— The End —