“A solider wandering alone
Around people in masks
Like an innocent soul surrounded by evil spirits
No longer alone just merits in lockets”

In the back of my notebook
I'm writing letters of sorrow
Not sure what to call unavoided Tacenda
Help me escape this hysteric agenda

As the ink bleeds out of my pen
And the tears run into pages undone
The fear of forgetting and being forgotton
It's the race I’ll never out run

For the plot of your life isn't your choice
Questioning desires and is it really your voice
Directions you take make no sense
Is it truly there only for suspense

By: Zoulaikha

Haven't done this in a while, but I got a pile
Its funny how I've got speech but I'm speechless
"She said it first" you'll say, all I know is once upon a play
Holograms  of cats, aren't I full of poetry

Styles of fear is what brought us near
"Alas" its us and I don't want it to fall apart
Rivers of coffee, we drank with a frown  
Aches in our stomchs as we chuckled but withdrawn

Mysteries hidden in silent patients
But you're the girl with a guide
I'll call it what I want, but you're the one and its been fun.
I'm sitting here on a Saturday where it all begun.

Again, "you're power, full of beauty"
Again, "its majestic. Are you dimond jewellery?"
Rewind, your childhood, its now, its us!
Rewind, the scent of the rain you're just a child

Call me, when you need me
I'm the shoulder, I'll be your shelter
I'm following the lead, you're my light
Don't worry I'll dust the rust off you'll shine bright

**

Stars Aligned, Rights Abirth
Zodiac defined, you don't wanna be at earth.

By: Zoulaikha

Ineffable.

As I dive deep into woolgathering, all I have is blind neural hearing
Answers only my mind filled with void won't suffice.

challenging a numb skull," isn't that just dull"
embody a soul that could never be full

hold on tight
breathe in, breathe out, breathe light

divert attention, to a dimension for another temptation,
coming to an end with zero homily, pretty uncommonly

only wizards could turn us into beautiful lizards

By: Zoulaikha

Lover stay, call me home I'll never go away
Unchanging it will be, together I know we're free.
Alluring, how your eyes can speak, forever it's my golden antique.
Yours truly. My one and only jewellery by my heartbeat.

When will I hold your hand,
I'm only safe in your demand.
On my way home I want to smell your cologne.
When I'm alone, the scent is embedded on my shirt.

I'll know then I'm forever unhurt.
*
Missed the sound of your voice
The smile I always hear
Why haven't we talked?
Its never been clear.

You're messing with the structure of my poetry
You're calling me? No, its in no hurry
Everything is blurry...
Drop drop, there go my tears

I need you

By:Zoulaikha

Honestly time has been ticking it was filing for crime. 
Awareness finally hit me, alone scares us.
Luxury is living nearby, knowing you'll get my high.
Admirable brownish eyes covered with purple skies.

We're the two bodies in one soul they talk about.
Hold my hand, during storms  I promise I'll find the shore.
I'll be your shelter in this cold.
Dig deep down you'll find emeralds and gold

Lets meet again in a faraway land
Stolen from his arms, yet you're safe with me
Laughs and kisses isn't what may seem
I love you dearly, please don't scream.

Drops of water from the sky, the type that angers you
Now is rain without the rainbow in the end
Now is rain without the scent
Now is the rain that angers me too

Wake me up from this nightterror dream
Eyes open to dances and weird faces made on small screens
Eyes open to smiles and songs you sing
Don't you realise the happiness that you bring

By: Zoulaikha

Temporary home, I'll be all alone.
Roses in gardens all is filled with poison thorns.
Nose bleeds, no breath, my dreams turn to storms.

Wake me up to the sound of your voice.
You'll come over? the sky turns white.
Meet me there tonight, I'm not up to another fight

Kisses taste like sorrow as bridges stay hollow.
Loves bites bleed, I'm yours indeed
Nothing guaranteed, yet you know I'll follow.

How come bruises are mistaken for kisses?
Behind the curtains it all lies.

By: Zoulaikha

Dress on the ground
Beautiful with all your flaws
Scars are what make you perfect
The same way an artist needs lines

They all could be roses
But a lilly forever stand out
A rose is a rose
But nothing is as pure as lilly

I'd dream of it all along
I wanna wear the skin tight dress
Draw our blueprint for the future
Find my golden-lining by your side

Tell me you love me
No matter how life’s short
Heal the roots you’ve ruined
Once before

Dress thrown across the floor
Move your body to the rhythm of the ocean
The ocean that has been flooding  from your eyes
Shine bright under the gloomy night

Stories told to my reflection
Dig your fingertips in my hair
Pray and wish me goodnight
I’ll finally know I was right

By:Zoulaikha

Attacks.
Tears, pillows only know
My breath is caught
Makes you wonder if its the end.

Unjustified panics
I thought I got better
Flash backs
My tears, are blood flowing

Anxiety crippling
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
No supply
Trying my best to love me through it

Plans shaking
No words racing
My mind erasing
What can I do?

Can't Call
No words to say
Overwhelmed,
My only escape is to disappear

Please leave me alone
I've been good
I stopped taking what I love
But you're still here

Alone
Pushing all that I love away
A monster in disguise
You're the tattoo I never asked for

I've been good for so long
Didn't think it'll go wrong
My body's uncomfortable with me
It's planning my end

Anxiety
Thought my mind was responsible
Now my heart with the mind of its own decided to join
Why are they so committed?

My body is cold
I'm trembling from the heat
You said you care, but there you are uninvested
Maybe if I get attached to you, you'll also leave

By: Zoulaikha

locked up in my head
where can I find the keys ?
they're right there in my hands
why can't I set myself free
its funny how uncomfortable you can be
in your own skin but you aren't able to breathe
they tell you to come out
but laugh the way you do
short skirts
modest is what must be
covered up
"why are you wearing that, it's hundred degrees"

in fear i'm never good enough
diseased to people please
but when the trip comes I know you'll be with her
I'll be in the corner as your photographer
final results done differently. anxiously?
honestly what is the difference always drowning in the ocean of doubt.
anxiety attack, waking me
will I make it in this light?
built my walls, carved them the moment of epiphany
I wish I'm you while wearing heels
head held high, voice steady
look closely, voice steady with trembling hands
I'll be her another day
for now I'll be the anxious lily with that dream
the more it remains a fantasy the easier it seems
step by step I'll get there someday wearing my flats

By Zoulaikha

Bittersweet, honest conversations
Chocolate and coffee on the side, is this our destination?
My dear as you speak, chills run down my spine
Thoughts of you, turn into butterflies as the moonlight shines

Bread and butter,
Silly little fights
Stay seated at the afterglow my Romeo
Oh! silly little fights end with kisses holding you tight

My chosen one, you're my gorgeous pink skies  
The butter to our bread, as it gets dark  
My hyped dopamine, kissing my birthmark
Up all night, you’re my greatest adventure
*
Fortune telling, as I dive into your golden clouds
My brown eyes lay out our future
Even if the dream ends, don't wake me up.
Magic armour, aren't you the warrior?

No more suffering, lessons were learned,
Love walls, stakes high, hand in hand, jumping blind  
Hold on to the touch, I’m yours at last
The topic is forever swimming in violet grass

Wake me up every morning to the melody of your voice
Let my heart speak as my tongue wrapped tight
Smiles in between kisses, forever intertwined
Stars look like butterflies, heart's divine

Can't finish my reader
Emotions lost my words
Rosey lips locked, shivers as you look into my eyes
Forever, for eternity, forgotten lies

Love for always, a love that's true.

By Zoulaikha

Every "goodnight" text I read as "I love you"
I'm caught between breathes
Caused by scenarios in my head
I'm not delusional, I'm a hopeless romanic after all

Walked around until I stumbled upon you
A moment ago I wonder if I'll ever meet you
You walked past me and smiled
Now I want to wake up with you by my side

Darling, Lets live like love novels
Not making Ryle's mistake,
Please don't ever touch me that way
"We'll do it the fairytale way"

Morning kisses
You brush away my hair
I'll make you breakfast
I know you dreamt it this way

Let's change the idea of lust
As I watch you hair slick back complimenting your brown eyes
10,000 stories with all the ink there is
"It took me so long to write you" where have you been?

After all this time I'm trying to dig behind your soil
I'm obvious, you'll know, but I won't admit
It took me so long to write you
But as soon as I shut my eyes I vision your rosy lips

You fell for my smile
As your laughter became my treasure
Tune our bodies to the sound of waves
I want to memorise you like I do my favourite song

Take it slow
Match my energy,
Losing control
I want to hear it dear

Be my safe
Be the only person I long for in the brightest of days
Be my forever red
Be the one I need at every blue

Pick the Brush we'll paint our skies purple
From the moment we kiss, I'd die in our locked lips
Tasting the sweet as sugar nectar
Give me a few to never run out of your aftertaste

**

What love sounds like
Why is it without the purity and heat
What if all I wanted is you
Why is being hopelessly in love lost for all the fights.

All the dark stormy nights
We'll sail the ocean
But wake up with dried up tears
As the sun rays beam highlighting your dark eyes, that's all for now.

By:Zoulaikha

I've never gotten flowers, not much to say
In love once, still can't beg to stay
I've never gotten flowers, but oh.. to dream of lilies
How the return of happiness will ever feel?
"Hold onto your baby breaths,"
They never given me any
All I ever wanted was a tulip
The same way my father use to gift my mother
Smiling while I hide behind him excitingly

Dreaming of  my once upon a dream as snowdrops grow
Sunflowers, how beautiful they could be
Joyfully restoring oxygen into my lungs
You never knew cause roses are the trend
Honestly, you never asked
Left, right you're gone
Not a rose in graved, they're all out of sight
Its alright I'll get gladiolus
Swimming in the lilies valley one day

Memory, Not a Flower girl

By:Zoulaikha

Gorgeous  deep almond eyes
Hard to find honesty
Alluring, can't find my words to say,
Intoxicating, silenced conversations
Dazzling heart, keeping me awake
An unexpected good morning, started ..
New born feeling, its hard to explain

Genuine questions, forever gentle you'll be
I don't look into peoples eyes
You looked deep into my soul,
I couldn't help but catch my breath
Cause' your deep brown eyes have golden flecks as if its lightning in a pitch-black sky

Heart shaped face, singing it own poem
As you love the music but never sing along
Stars and hearts covering your skies, as my prayers for you will forever rise  
Conversations, one to another at 2AM
Now its 12pm, time flies and its time to say goodbye

A cool breeze
Warm hands,.. you reached out
Your care confused me, that confused you
The look on your face, I wonder  
I catch myself smiling until the end  

If its immeasurable time we've talked,
Will it make it illicit?
Lets keep that for another negotiation
Its hard not to thank you every time I'm maimed
Your 'welcome'  is held close to my heart.

Dawn is where, why, when
If they ask, that's what you say
Although knowing you, it'll be the smile
Searching
Can't find my words

An interesting feeling
I always know what to say
But here I am at your presence not knowing a thing
Laugh,
"I don't know" is the most phrase you've heard

Now, help me end this
Even while I'm quite I can go for days
Lets be classic..
"Are you sleepy yet?"
It's never how it ends, usually how it starts

You are quite  the wonder why

By: Zoulaikha

Gotten out, I’ve saved me
How funny you’re still around me
Are you real, I think I’m dreaming
Ice cold, thats how they perceive me
Dose after dose its all haze
At dawn we speak
Nowhere to go, let me hear the voice of finally ok

It was summer, i saw you
Smiling, you wished me goodnight
Nothing more was expected
Nothing less was wanted

You posted about it the first time around
It all maybe in my head
But I felt that way too
“Normal conversations, yet so different”

“Forget your past” you say
Talk to me about your future
I’m probably not in it
But your sound gives me quite the wonder

Quite a wonder why
As we speak the rest of the world disappears
I wonder why
The thought of you paints everything black and white
Leaving behind 4 brown eyes shining under the gloomy night

You became a shade of yellow &green
I wonder why  Im up waiting for you to hangup
Fighting the urge to ask you for a few more
Friendly is all it could ever be

Call me, I enjoy it when we do
It’s annoying when I ask all the time..
..If I am
Yet you’re still up as your eyes fall asleep

Zzz

Trying to wish you another goodnight

By:Zoulaikha

How long will it take me to find you
I miss you already, I don’t even know you
Wishing my lucky stars to bring you into my arms
Rest your head my dear I’m ready for it all

After all I found out.
You’re the star guiding me
You’ve saved me already without knowing
I stand up straight to make you proud, can’t wait to tell you all my stories

Take your time
But know I’m waiting over here
Late at night, writing poetry soon all describe you
You’ll forever be mine

Everyone knows about you
Yet you're no closer than before
But as much as I love lilies
I could only fall for you more

I'm desperate to meet my colours
The ones you're unaware exist
My yellow, my saviour,
You blew all my blues away.

I've built our house and its forever green,
I've been in peace my red
When I met the black mysteries I wanted you more ,
After all you are my Lilly coloured white.

We'll hurt, but I promise to heal you
We'll fight, but I'll for always hold you
We'll laugh, it's the purple skies shining
We'll protect, keeping  it secret

Apart of me
Never apart
Don't take a piece of my heart
But take it all

Every inch of me will forever engrave your name
It's foolish to be in love
While still figuring out your name
I can't wait my white

By:Zoulaikha

Raindrops, but rainbows rise
Nothing seems to be alright
Sounds of crying
As you close your eyes

                   Why is everyone lying?
                    Isn't it surprising how everyone is shy

My mind is racing
Can't stop it raining
My teacher explaining
My brain in another dimension

I'm not thinking straight
I use to love this surrounding
Now it's everything I hate
Got anything to add to my vision?
It'll be hazy anyway  


By:Zoulaikha

I'd never split you apart,
All the possible space in and out of you,
Near and far,Far and wide,
Here and there, high and low,
Throughout the land, over the world,
I shall for always claim you mine

Entitle my selfishness.
I still get butterflies when you come around.
Can’t stop the feeling,
My heart races the moment I see you.
The moment you smile, my troubles disappear.

Calls where we both don’t talk.
It may be vexing for you my love,
Just knowing you're present keeps me safe.
Sweetheart don’t you go so far,
NO don’t go so far.
I melt when we kiss,
I lose my words,
You become my everlasting poetry.

By: Zoulaikha

It all starts with your heart beat,
Its a unique melody.
Then when you breath,
It alone is a beautiful symphony.
Your voice is my dearest song.
And for all I know,
Your existence is my everlasting poetry.

By:Zoulaikha

Blank pages,
Yet our stories are told.
No picture frames,
Even so you’re the memory I hold,

You shot across the bows,
Come to pass to be intoxicated,
I’m home all alone,
Drunk on your love.

It's been a while,
I've seen that smile.
I see her in your arms,
I'm not asking for a free ride.

*
Maybe I'm just in love with the idea of you.
Walking away was easy,
But my feeling still running approaching you.
Let's wash away this misery.

By:Zoulaikha

“Coffee is better when expensive”
But I stumbled and found you.
Smile addictive more than time,
Your touch is what I long for.

Blank pages,
Yet our stories are told.
No picture frames,
Even so you're the only memory engraved.

The night falls the moment I blink.
Thought you were impatient,
Connecting... its all it was,
You said "its love.."
*

Close the door,
I don’t want no more,
You schooled me enough.
You'd think I'd remember, but the souvenir all foggy

Its all just cloudy,
You were too close but still didn’t grab me.
Unfortunately,
Unstructured souvenir.

By: Zoulaikha

I'm just being me
I don't know what you see
I called you all weird
I broke your heart
Stopped all the shakin' and swayin'
The sooner you left
My heart fell in water
But couldn't drown itself

I guess it's just me
But i couldn't see
Until karma hit me and dragged me along
'will you come back'
The fear keeps racing
They say "writing a love song is hard"
But i keep scripting our story on notepads
Me and you
Just me and you everywhere I go

It's all crystal clear
I could've seen
It's too late
My mind is all crazy
I needed you
You're too far from my door now
It keeps raining

Don't know what to do without you

Guess it's just me
I don't know what i see
I'll let myself fall until i hit the ground
Thinking  "Don't know what I'd do without you"
But I'll gather my broken bones and leave

By Zoulaikha

Our skies are unique colors
But mine seem fades the color
Using pastels to paint my sky
Snow be feeling hotter than the sun
Summer time be colder than winter trips
Clay becomes sticky while glue feels firm and dry
Communication going down hills so steep

Melanin increases as I get closer to your touch
As your touch deepens into my soul
You set fire on fire
Oh you're a sweet melody as it crumbles on my lips
You’re the ear warm that won’t leave but has left me all alone
“look the stars” they say
But all I see is dark.

Sleeping feels like death
Survival feelings  like work
Rainbows

By:Zoulaikha

3 am wake you up to sit and talk.
But the sound of your breathing, the sound of your voice,
The sound of the feeling, the sound of our kiss.
The feeling of you wrapped around my hips.

6 am up, thinking of you
While poetry is the language I choose, for my visionary awareness of the experience you arranged, to create the emotion, I'm trying to erase

9 am we both do separate things,
Me wondering what would have been, if i were by your side
I gasped a little mesmerizing the thought.

Hour by hour
Time passes by
I am hollow inside
Tik tok,  tik tok
Still a black void
Floating on earth but not very far

12 am you come along
Setting me free to outer space.
Holding my hands to keep warm, to pull me closer to position a fire deep inside me.

By: Zoulaikha

Living in darkness,
Blind to understand.
Hoping to know what’s happening,
Not in belief, people who love me turned to discrete.

I’m like an innocent child.
Lost,
Faded knowledge.
Following what’s no best.

Smiling when the sky is blue ,
Rising sun, happy flow.
Sunsets am blue.
Black rivers flowing out of my eyes,
As poison leeks on the floor.

I die little by little, no one knows.

By:Zoulaikha

Girl code,
        Bro code,
                 Friendship lies.
Colour fades as you smile,
            Feeling nothing, feeling hallow,
I'm so numb.
                             Caught you.. " how much has it been;
A day, a week, a month, a year or two?"
        It's not about how many,
                     Its  suppose to be forever.
                                          ***­**
Roses aren't always red
                 Violets aren't forever blue
You really thought i'd cry over you,
                     I said i loved you
                                    You thought that was true
Thought you played me,
         Theres one winner in a game for two,                            
                                ­Guess what!
You got played too.
                                            
                                                                ­                             By:Zoulaikha

NO custom button on me,
Why is everyone trying to change me.
I am who I am, I'll stay as I am

Don't tell me you won’t
Then have a shot
Don't tell me I'm wrong, I'm always right

You don't wanna see it.. just leave
Not taking your nonsense
Keep it to yourself

Don't use me
Don't play me
I'm not another video game.

By: Zoulaikha

I'm in hunger,
I'd attack anytime now,
For all the care you use to provide.

Starvation
You're gone now,
I'm all alone with nothing but a soul going dark.

Striving to live,
Without you.
I thought you'd understand, but all you do is go around.

Starvation
You're gone now.
I miss you by my side.

Left me in shattered pieces on the floor,
Why? why make it hard for another?
Picking up your mess, picking up your mess.

Starvation
You're gone now.
With another between your arms.

By: Zoulaikha

I keep calling "help!",
*
Call me a pcycho,
But i know its true.
Call me a pcycho..
I'm never enough,

I'm left alone with nothing but an aching soul.
I'm left alone in an ocean of sorrow.
The eager of my pain reaching out to the bright,
Everyones around but non will do whats right .

I dream about the day,
That you'll come home to me.
Nothing else is important,
Just you and me.

By:Zoulaikha

I write poetry, without even trying.
I write poetry, to relife my pain.
I write poetry, to keep me away.
I write poetry, mad as a hatter.

I cant help it,
I strive to write about the beauty of life,
But end up setting free whats so dark.
I'm thinking "how could a kid be in so much pain?"
"Normally teenage life is all about going insane."

I can't get what makes me happy.
I tend to close up by acting cold,
          I'm not.
             Smiling to cover the clouds when a camera is near.

I can't cry for help,
I'm isolated.
No one will reach out.
No one will reach in.
I propose to shut them all out,
...

They won't understand.

Sun rising,
Everything will be alright.

By: Zoulaikha

Anger. Pain.
It's getting harder to hide,
All the feelings I've built up inside.
It's hard to explain,
Without being considered insane
So I've kept to myself,
Until I realized I need help.

I should have seen it,
Putting a smile on my face and act its all fine.
But i see my future in my own brown eyes,
Is this the first step of it all?
We might love now,
But you will leave.
You’ll find someone,
Then come to me to speak.

You can’t see with your naked eye.
But all these scars helps me see
,
That I survived so much trauma and now I am free.
Makes me realize I was in a place of no rest;

I feel guilty inside for leaving this token.

Now I will see and memorize, I was so broken.


By:Zoulaikha

He may be twisted but deep inside,
I believe lies a man full of pure love and affection.
Grounded, surrounded, bossed around,
But sets me free into his safe arms.
As if fear drags us apart.

I was so blind, but now I see.

Now he's gone, but within I stay,
Regrets after regrets,
Are drowning me.
...
I remember the smiles he caused to be,
All the happiness flying through the soul inside of me.

But now you'll see it's not only me.

I'm glad to have seen, before letting go.
Regrets after regrets,
Cause' its crystal clear.
...
Saving what I have,turns out not fear.
I say thank you because it's all your fault.

Don't let what's bad blind your eyes,
It'll take your love , without your feel.

By: Zoulaikha

Why?, why is Pluto so cold?
Have you ever wondered..

Pluto understood but been misunderstood,
Pluto went through hell came back all chilled,
Pluto has a warm heart, just never reacted,

Pluto needs recovery time.

Will it last forever,
Only the Moon understands?
While the Sun and the other planets won't accept.

No, Pluto isn't cold,
Maybe, the Sun is.
Since it lights our day but when it burns,
It doesn't care.

It's ok, the universe is expanding,
It'll take Pluto a way,
You'll never see it again,
Now, Smile.  

By: Zoulaikha

I felt him through my skin,
I knew he started a fire.
The second we've touched,
Our bodies interacted,
Our lips engaged,
Leaving the other dripping the taste of honey.

I might lose control,
Stains of juice are on the floor.
Now my candle must burn,
Your only heat will start its spark,
No other match will light my candle.
The burn inside of me never felt so good.

Don't you ever leave,
Don't you make it stop.

By: Zoulaikha