i want to hear
your voice
when i'm alone
at night past two;

i want to ask
too many questions
but you don't
want me to;

i want to know
if she's still the one
but i already
figured out the truth.

functioning
is hard
when people
who once adored you,
now distance themselves
from you.

how deep do we still need to dig?
for these wounds to heal or disappear
i understand what you've been through
but if you still love her, don't make me a fool

does her face
still flashes
when you close
your eyes?

does her name
still put a smile
on your lips
despite every lie?

do you only remember
my name when you're
drunk and tired?
—when you can't call her "mine".

i beg for your
forgiveness—

at times
that i am distant
for sadness is a fear
i face with vulnerable eyes.

at times
that my silence
seems anger to you
when i'm finding the light.

at times
that i won't let you
see the tears
behind every white lie.

i will come back,
i always do;
but for now,
i beg for your
forgiveness.

paradise
is wherever
you are,
love.