I found that i could not write about you
It's not that there are no words to describe what you are
It's not a problem with words
It's a problem with feelings
How do k write without feelings?
No matter how much i have delved into my brain or how much effort i put into it i could not muster up anything about you that could light up a fire in me
And that's a problem
Because i cannot write about you
And if i cannot write about you
That means i don't love you

(E.G)

I usually sit here into the early hours
Reading poetry
Some I love,
Some I don't enjoy
Don't enjoy simply because hate
Is not a word in my vocabulary
I don't want to read about self mutilation
About ****** alignment
But that's just me
Give me magic, a fairy story
Give me that old man walking down the street
Don't get me wrong
What ever you write has to be good
But I won't always like it

I want to be intertwined with you.
mixed into your thoughts,
your words,
your actions:
however subtle,
but always significant.

I want to be every part of you
I want to be choked up with your words
swallowed down with your fears
entangled with your musing,

I want to be the hand
that so effortlessly grazes through your curls the pencil
that composes every beautiful thought onto paper  
the lips
that sing never more perfect words and melodies

I wouldn't mind being
the tears that stream your face when you aren't sure of who you are
the curses you pitch out in frustration when life has you overworked
and the laugh that echoes throughout galaxies when you are truly happy

I would be any part of you,
the good parts and the bad
just to say that I was with you;
just to feel like I meant something
even if you weren't aware of it
like the breaths you take that have become such a familiar process
that you aren't aware of the air anymore,
the vitality of it
I want to be the air you breathe
and the eyelashes that protect your dark, secret bearing irises.
I want to be you and a part of you and with you, vital and unnoticed, for the rest of our lives.

It feels like chaos
Rolling through my veins
Torn between love and hate
Memories crash the senses

What to do now?
How do you live a life un-lived
How do you move on
not regret, not desire
Wishing for a do-over

Time passes looking for relief
Fleeting moments of memory loss
Life continues In motions of happiness

The pain, the loss, the desire and obsession
It's not about him
Missing a love that was a facade
So fooled and so amazing.

My left hand has poerrty
My right hand doesn’t know about.