can a bird
fly
with broken wings?

can I
love
with a broken heart?

I will
try
to fly
to you

So many things
I should be doing
but instead
I am
writing

If I decide
to give you
a part of my heart
to stab into
please do

For years I did not dream
it was not uncommon
for me to wake up
and know I dreamed of nothing in the night

For years I only dreamed of gloom
It was not uncommon
for me to wake up in the middle of the night
and feel a shadow
hunting me
forbidding me to sleep

But now it's different
You are a light
against my shadows
I dream of you
and wake up happy

You are my hero
you came to save me
from myself

Two people are attracted
but they can't be together
life
is in their way.

I've found 24 scars
on my hands
13 on the right, 11 on the left
I wish I knew
what they meant

distance can be measured
by the sadness in my heart
for I am feeling worse
the more we are apart

To construct my profile
all you need
is this page

On my Facebook
you'll find
my friends

On my YouTube
the things
I want to show

On my Tumblr
Some of my
favorite quotes

But here
you can really see
me

Broken, forsaken, and lonely,
smart, stupid and gnarly,
sad and mad but mostly,
alive

It is weird
how your word
turned me
into you

You brought
a new taste
to my life
It's the taste
of you
the taste
of love

Writing is awesome
writing is nice
unless you have to do it
like
twice.

I can't tell you what is in my head
I'll shout on you instead
"I liked you better dead"

If I ever loved you
it was after you had died

Don't feel bad, my dear
it is me that is to fault
for the unfortunate result

your living figure haunts me
more than your ghost ever could

So hush, don't cry
don't waste your tears
on my unyielding ears

After all, you are still dead to me

I hold the razor in my right hand
shaking, like I always do
I drench the metal in my flesh
feel the pain I am so used to

The shaking stops
my mind is clear
I drop the blade
escape with fear

What have I done?

I try to hide but I am bare
the evidense are there:
My right hand smell of steel
my left hand taste of it

don't think you understand,

I don't want to believe I am this horrible human being.
I've done things, I've hurt people in ways you wouldn't believe I could. I broke people, some of them may never be repaired. The worst part? I enjoyed it; Seeing their hate, their despise, watching their mental walls crumble filled me with wonder and joy.

I don't want to believe I am broken, but the past haunts me, and I can't even remember it, but I know it's there - the horrible truth. When I try I can almost remember - but it hurts too much.
People have hurt me, broke my heart, broke my trust, crushed my faith in humanity and left me scared for life. If only I could remember why.
I don't want to love you, you deserve better, someone beautiful and whole like you, but I do. I love you.

I do

I can not save me
I can not change my mind
I've been held down
And left you half-alive
I'm stuck in this nightmere
I'm closing down my mind
I can't go on, I'll close my eyes
I can't save my life,
I will die to save you.

When I can't find a meaning in my life
she is always there
When nothing makes sense
she is always there
When I think I can't go on
she is always there
When I think I have gone mad
she is always there
When I thing of giving up
she is always there
When I want to die
she is always there

She will always be with me
my bitter, lonely
misery

your compliments
are roses on my grave

beautiful
precious
useless

If you find a place
a non scared face
of my ill-treated heart

You may stick your knife in it
see what you can hit
that hasn't been before

In the end
we all die
but right now
I can just cry

"EBN recently added 159 friends.
Do you know any of them?"
Are you just one of them?
Do you mean anything to her?
Or are you just another Facebook friend?

How many times
can you stab a heart
before it tears apart?

I wanted to be alone
but couldn't resist
the fireworks

If I ever hurt myself
it is to
not hurt
you

The sun is shining
the birds are singing
your love is flowing
like water

Drinking it all
is making me whole
you are fixing my soul
my love

I'm so weak
it makes me sick

I don't even have the gut
to spill them out

End my misery
hurry
I can't take it anymore

Trees, gods of summer, defend you from light
Provide you with fruit and cast pain away.
Trees in the summer give from their might, shed you as you find your way

In autumn they wither away
Wounded by ice spears and and arrows of cold.
Leaves fall, naked and stark they stand.

In winter, in cold, they crack, and they fall
As clouds take the sky, they concead the battle.
Nothing lasts forever.

In spring they may rise, with heat and some love all that was lost might come again.
The mighty gods, lost in the fight, may rise to the battle
In summer they protect from the light. Until winds of winter come again...

I want to make something
from this void

For years I did not dream
it was not uncommon
for me to wake up
and know I dreamed
of nothing in the night

For years I dreamed of gloom
It was not uncommon
to wake up at midnight
and feel a shadow
hunting me

Your presence changed it
You were a light
against my shadows
I dreamed of you
and woke up happy

But, now you are gone
my dreams are back
and I can't sleep
without the fear
of dreaming of you

My walls of sanity are cracking
and I am leaking

Although I am madly attracted to you
I'd rather cry on your shoulder
then *** on your face

Does it make me crazy?
what would you say?
If only you knew
If only you knew...

I want to **** you
but first
I'll **** myself

I'm sorry for the person I could have been
I didn't want to ruin the future you had seen

I'm sorry for the person I  became
try to understand, this is who I am

I'm sorry but it had to be this way
for me to feel okay

Can't I just be happy?
just this one time?

Why can't I be happy
without feeling guilty?

Maybe I'm
asking for too much.

I don't get why our talk
would make it so much better
but that's how feelings work
No sense whatsoever

I want to hurt
I want to be hurt
I want to feel pain
again

I gave you my heart
that integral part
now all I can do
is care for you

Although this love
is nothing but great
I want to feel
hate

Did you knew that
when a heart
is damaged
it will never grow back
how it used to be?

A scared tissue
Won't solve the issue
it tries to
keep you
alive

I went back in
hiding
escaping
cried myself to sleep

I am I
am I?

I promised you the truth
then why are you surprised
when I hurt you?

I can fall in love
with someone I don't know

But can I fall in love
with someone I know too well?

Does the artist define the art
or does the art define the artist?

The river of emotions never stops flowing.
The well of sadness is never full.

I can't believe
she actually loves me
how could she?
Who cares.
I am happy
and nothing. Nothing!
will ruin it for me.

*****

just like that

you're gone

Physical pain
is a restrain
on the human mind

Try and take a hit
see if you like it
But beware of what you find

When running from the black
escaping from the dark
Look out of what lies ahead

Is it really comfortin'
cutting your own skin
Or is just a shade of red?

What is so scary in the blue
when looking on the lines you drew
That you finally seem calm?

Does the pain allow you not feel yellow
just like an old fellow
Because of this power in your palm?

Or does it ease your mind
off the life you left behind
And is the solution you could find?

Once a year
I lift up these weights
and carry them with me

Unlike others
who carry them everyday
I can only lift them on this day

And yet,
Even in my normal life
I can still see them there, in the corner

These weighs
remind me of war
and the pain that comes with it