Held my hand when fear was holding my chest.
Told me to be calm.
Remember to smile.
I am not for you.
I am not for everyone.
Do i edit myself?
To become more marketable?
Or preserve my value in smaller margins
Canvas.
I am yours
Paint what you will
Pain isn't permanent.

We are the perfect storm
Electrifying in our tidal wave
Made of parts and wholes
Parts of lighting
Whole hemispheres
Molecules split in half
In the eye of god himself
We tumbled natural disaster

Love,
the blazing fire at the center of it all

I shall warm my chilly hands and sit a while.

But lest i fall in,

I keep my distance.

Autumn leaves and sunsets.
A world spinning
out of balance,

and the sluggish me slowing down to realize all that I am no longer.
I see a worm, a slug, a tiny massive thing.

Indolent, sallow, lost and afraid, I cling to what I can and eat to feel numb.

Working and waiting to feel something.
Meaning, connection, understand my purpose, and eyes get farther away from what it longs to understand.

This body gets long and heavy and tired, eyes close, and arms grab whatever is around. wrapping tight in heavy blankets.

I made these quilts. I made them with my hands when life was fun
and work a thought filled blessing.

I spun the threads that now encase me. I bury myself, deep down into the cold earth.
Hide from the lies, and the worthless feelings, and listen to the heartbeat of the goddess.

Her warmth will see me through.
To the next life
next form
Where I can shed this layer.
Emerge as myself.

Incarnate with colors to behold in the eyes of young and old.

Let me be winged, and the chrysalis not be needed anymore.

Rebirth this butterfly.

Constricted in the tiny ***.
this plant has lost it’s will to grow
The lightness fades inside the room
the curtain shades the greenish brown
I forgot that i was more,
than this room. this house, this place

I forgot how to transplant.
I forgot how to grow

Don’t let me wither.
Don’t abandon me in the cold.

How can i survive this potted life,
this winter,

It was easy to love me when the spring was here, and i was bright and full of wonder.
I could fill a room with bright vernal sweetness.
And then i began to blend into the wallpaper.
a perfect little wallflower.
Tendrils constrict,
and branches droop.
flowers swept away,
and bark begotten by dust and moth

Who will inherit me?
Or perhaps just an empty ***.

Fires in ferguson
Bridges in Brooklyn
The youth in the streets cry out in unison
Hands up
Don't shoot
A young man took twelve bullets
Because he was brown
Battered bodies on the ground
This countries streets are paved in glass
and blood
The air we breath is tear gas
And polluted by discrimination
We are connected by rage
And in this day and age
We are convicted by fear
The civil servants drive armored vehicles
The oppressed pay takes to the oppressors
Who pays for the tank that the city bought?
Who pays for the policeman's bullets?
How hard is it to live without fear of death from your own government.
ISIS is less threatening
Than the grand jury
This story keeps coming back into our history books. Trayvon Martin,
Michael brown,
Emmet till
I am no longer proud to be american
We all live in
MISsouERiY

Long white arms,
She had long white arms.
Almost glowing with their own light.

And long black hair. So black that the light seemed to be ****** into it's depths. It stole the lightness.

Eyes so stormy the sea bucks and brays when it sees the thunderclouds behind long thick lashes.

Her whole body is humming.

Deep powerful energy inside.
It's impossible to extract the nature of what's causing the convulsions.
Light or dark.
Milk or Coffee...
Or ancient pulsing rivers.
But it is causing her to crack and sway and cry and pray.
She took a razor

A razor so sharp it could cut through the worlds.

And she sliced a piece of pure white skin,

and out poured royal blue blood.

With hints of purple and specks of gold, and greenish hues,
with stars so old that you see the light of a million years ago, but it gets caught in your eye centuries after it dies.

The blood pours from her, trickle then a flow, expanding the universe.
Giving birth to galaxies.
And the energy is released from her.
The darkness and the light.
The demons and goddesses.
They all leave in a silent procession.
and she sways and topples, thundercloud eyes grow dark, then roll up and away.

Convulsions cease as she is submerged in the blue veined sea of her own creation.

The silent procession of her dark possession leaves on tiny ships into the dark horizon. Purple and gold galaxies.

We are all born from goddess blood.