I used to be alive- now I'm invisible
your words were like knives
penetrating deep into my soul
I wilted, slowly bled
from your memory

but I kept coming back
trying to make my presence felt
my efforts were in vain
I was just a mist, here today, gone tomorrow

in your memory I was a spectre
a glimmer in the past, nothing more
than forgotten photographs
where you scratched out my face

I'm forever dead to you
and now I'm motionless
despite my pleads
which you simply tossed to the wind.

triple glaze can't shield the sounds
of laughs screams or motors whirring from
all the way down the street
but
it provides slight relief from eternal goosebumps that grace my sleeves

Some worry that someday
The one we love will
stop holding our hand
or stop talking to us
stop being lovers or
at the least, friends
maybe a slap on the cheek
a fight here and there
or stuff thrown everywhere
but my most worrying thought
is that I'm afraid that one day
maybe today..
she'll forget my name
forget my existence

I cower at the thought
that one day
maybe today..
she'll never
remember I exist

Your approval in ***** situations
the constant complications
between you
between me
between God
living a lie
making it by
with no self respect
I needed your attention
Your constant supervision
to make me feel special
because you were my motivation
my self worth came from you
and what you wanted me to do
but i cant live the lie
that got me by
because the lie that got me by was dry
and worthless
but now,
I can generate it myself
our 'break' gave you temporary pleasure
with the girl who could give you what you wanted
our 'break' gave me eternal understanding
of the demanding
branding
crash landing
reationship that took over my life
I was not strong enough
to see past your penatrating words
that sunk into my heart
'its my fault'
'this is normal'
'im not suppost to care'
care about the **** you put me through
you twisted my life to mold yours.
now your mold is hollow.
So heres just a little thank you.
thank you for showing me how wrong everything was
and giving me the self worth of ****
so i could grow the strength
to accept myself.
i accept myself
long lasting.
The worst part is that you dont see any flaw.
You think your perfect?
you will always be a ****
you will always be vile
you will always be a boy
with a temporary smile