there are nights where i stay up daydreaming of a wonderland

a wonderland of vignetted sepia books and tea stained lips,
a wonderland where the sun hides for a while, and lets us be real
a wonderland where no one else exists
so that my arms persist on staying around you

a wonderland where my hands lay in yours
while we read sappy poetry
poetry no one else we know would find interesting
but poetry that means the world to us;

a wonderland where rain falls in my backyard on orange trees
to the setting of our eyes like big blue seas
never parting
leaves rustling

a wonderland where music plays and sways so sway with me
to a light thunder storm
and kiss me slowly
so we can keep each others lips warm

because its cold in our winter wonderland
but a little cold never stopped anyone
a little cold in life slows us down, but we put on our jumpers and forge on

so forge on
my dear winter girl,
because i know that sometimes
a house isn't really a home
and it gets hard when I'm alone
so come whenever you feel like you cant stand
and lay with me, in our own winter wonderland.

Alone on the pedestrian bypass bridge,
breathing summer sunset,
I swirl the stubby balsa spoon on my tongue
as the evening commute buzzes beneath my feet,

and wonder: how did I miss this all before?
how
wind washes bare arms,
world still
soft round
the sharp edges;
how ivy lush covers thickly the brick walls over,
and brazen broad-leafed bushes
crowd onto cobblestone street corners, and
wistful weeds cushion cement sidewalk cracks;

how when the sun’s rays are blades from the horizon,
our city lights twinkle tight but
tap dance so light on the retina
in the vignetted  
sky of creamsicles and cotton candy;
and how
the frozen chocolate chips
break brittle between my teeth
and the cookie-dough bite’s so smooth
and still so tooth-melting sweet

callous
bruised
I held you
beheld you
with cruelty
with abandon
you
could have been cinders
cellophane
the patina of my absent mind
you
could have been a yesterday
forgotten
one of many
one, yet uncounted
one, lost in a crowd
me,
uncaring, and unbowed
heartless - ignorant

not today

today I saw you
through the window of my heart
vignetted
alone
as I always knew you
alone
without me

then

it occurred to me,
for the first time,
you were without me
and I
was without you
alone
we were alone
and I
yearned to solve your loneliness
your solitude
abrade the fixtures of mutual isolation with warmth
wear down the gloom of silence
with laughter
praise of you
hold you
close,
as if holding myself
loving myself
through you
by you,
loving me
I love you deeper
softer
sweeter
into the cradle
of our love
where we are born
in bliss
fighting the cold
of our darkening world
while the light dies
our hearts burn ablaze
seeking the truth
the higher power that united us
God, who would wed us,
love,
that can save us,
if only we tried,
if only

yet,
for tonight,
I watch you
through the window
of my heart

I shed tears
wishing I were with you
but I will settle
for our dream...

She never liked the way she looked in photographs.
But today even she felt as beautiful as she truly was.
Her new red laced dress looked as though it was only ever intended for her body.

Across the room through my vignetted gaze, our eyes met.
She offered a bashful smile through her lipstick and retreated her soft brown eyes to the floor.

In a fantasy I had hoped she would be charming and witty.
That we could relate in humour and music.

I'd never have the nerve to find out.