It's amazing,
How words will only actualize our realities
                                        Fully                   ­               
               When they are uttered
                                   Aloud.


And once those unspoken realities transpire,
It's as if the all the air in the world gets caught in a primordial vibration,
                
                   And those vibrations                                                       ­                     
Break the internal balloon                                                
Detaining­ veracity's ink                    
Painting our insides like the canvas of Jackson Pollack.
                                                        ­       Seeping through soft tissue.
                                          Spilling into chest cavities.
         Sloshing around.
           Saturating the hues of our flesh.

A single utterance
Resulted in irrevocable emotional
Infiltration:

"I'm in love"

*******...

Cursor. Stare vacantly back at me.  A pair of rough hands scrape against cheeks.  My own.  
A faint yet familiar soreness in the back of the throat.  
Christmas lights procure rings of color on the walls and make still for an instant
mounting apprehension.

Count the days.

Recount.

Plan each day, hour by hour. Compelled to use them to their fullest potential.
Productivity.
Type without fear. Without concern for that looming pair of eyes to examine this.

A verbalization of [my own dark thoughts] “It’s not good enough.” “ It’s garbage."

Jagged hands. Jagged hands to delicate hairs on the back of the neck.  Above ear and pushed from forehead.  Soreness in throat keeps me [grounded].  
Soreness in heart sends me to dream.  
Soft groan escapes a pair of lips as a pair of eyes find a likeness captured in pixels.  
Close it shut put it down look away deep breath in.

Distract.

Distract with learning.
The inextinguishable desire to know, to see, to understand [this]
existence.

Will one day I allow for eyes not my own to bear witness to this love poem?
This love poem to life, both in a particular and universal sense.

With timid hands and trembling insides I surrender

*my words.

" Stimulation of ones genitals or another  
resulting in ******"
How could that be an abomination ??
for me
an
"Acceleration"
with downward
"migration"
With lots of exploration
and
"stimulation"
With dreams and fascinations
of
"*******"
Self exploitation
and
"Gratification"
with new innovations
maybe a little *******
Nothing wrong with group participation
and
experimentation
some change of ****** orientation
With lots of anticipation
and
determination
**** for visual sensation  
Lots of perspiration
Even hotter with verbalization
nothing in moderation
Both hands moving in unification
with different combinations
self examination
Breath quickening with each
expiration
Waiting for
the ******
and it's
donation!
!!
:)

an incident took place
just yesterday
one met a troll
at the site's hostile bay
its verbalization was not
of pleasant greeting
some rather pointed
things said at the meeting

firstly it conveyed
the B---- term
on hearing that term
one did squirm
thence it proceeded
to tell one
in no uncertain terms
one should be turned
out to pasture
midst all the slugs
and worms

well its form of address
did of one not overly impress
and may one place on the record
one felt that one's
hot button got a press

trolling maybe amusing
for a troll
yet one didn't delight in its
unnecessary patrol

the trenchant troll
needs a fulltime occupation
which is more useful
to the writing population

mermaid far from sea
from dreams, it would seem

how is it that the odds
are in my favor for once?

not only can you walk
the ground in
warm welcome
of your pretty step

you can talk

but above all else

you talk to me
you walk beside me

sea legs I see legs
they're there
so elegant
the way they
rest upon one
another

and time is the enemy
the one time it seems to be on my side
for once i want
it to stop completely

gravitational
sensation
pulls with
enchanted
verbalization

you smile
i can't help but to fixate on
that tender arch in your lips
i long for them

and i think that smile could be for me

for once i think it could be for me

'vitriolic
acrimonious,
rancorous
acrid,
trenchant,
virulent,
poetry in my mind

verse,
limerick,
rhyme,

utterance,
voicing,
pronouncement,
declaration,
articulation,
verbalization,
statement,
proclamation,
assertion,
announcement.

pointless.

maybe it's the simple ways?..
like a wink of one eye
or the suitableness in a smile
the type that comes in secret
shared by only we two
as if we are our own reasons
we are above the rest,
beyond the average everyday types
there is a bond, a connection
words shared with no verbalization
we are special, you and I
set apart, made unique, different
and the way we are together
we should hold on to this
what ever it is, it is
and it is enough, it is worth it.
labels are for those that can't see
or pick out one from the next
we need no such thing,
a thousand miles distant,
a lifetime apart,
I'd know you in an instant,
like rivers know the direction
of the land, it's hills and bends
the very very start of the journey
the ocean at its end
what you and I share is...
what it is,.. so long as we believe it
i am willing, if you are too.

This fool doth not consider himself wise,
writing paltry poetry difficult
to read and/or actualize
methinks perusers of great literature
snub nose how I miserably advertise,

laughable attempt to aerobicise
fifty plus shades of gray matter
lobbying showy words agonize
zing effort perhaps best to cauterize
near petrified glob - boon

for scientists to analyze
baffling laboratory technicians
unusual crenulations
a profound surprise
pitiful peremptorily doth apologize

unlike verbalization feasible
after webbed whirled fist size
terra incognita reveals numbskull years
wrought yours truly to anesthetize
smelting, squelching,

and suppressing emotions
scored how tree rings annualize
environmental conditions definite
premature imp of the pervert
poe fella lifetime channels,

where bullies did antagonize
upon death requested autopsy authorize
zing eager scalpels to apprize
miniature dried river bed
formerly streams of consciousness

lake never seen before engendering
crowdsource to hypothesize
baffling every expert,
how terrible fate did baptize
ala lemony snicket series

of unfortunate events
multiplied power bajillion times
number only Google could surmise
obvious tell tale signs did brutalize
as if smacked upside the head

one unfortunate gladly apparently
suffered maelstroms of armageddon size
poet chars evidently
succeeded to burglarize
more successful than Watergate

psychological ploys hackers
noninvasively did cannibalize
(perhaps bored furloughed
government employees)
albeit noninvasively deeming

imposible to canonize
resultant cerebral corpus
understandably did capsize
entire body politik (Democrat)
faced, booked on hatred did demonize

verbal assaults indicate
suffering did caramelize
cerebrum, cerebellum and brainstem
resembling burnt offering 
impossible to categorize

glommed hardened integument colleagues
hard pressed to characterize
highly rendered anomaly,
hence unfair to criticize
erratic schizoid personality disorder

quite evident amyloid plaques 
did significantly crystalize
definitely explain aberrant quirks
resultant incessant emasculation 
unquestionably led him to demoralize.

After beguiling charisma,
damnable excoriations fixedly,
gamely, horribly, insult jesting,
kibitzing, loosely mindless nattering,

outlandish pablum, quintessentially
representing senseless trumpeting,
unswervingly vapid wordy
X-DOUBLE-MINUS
yawping zest.

If ye did not already guess from thee
above blimey claptrap, Das English flap
doodle glib human incorporates jokingly,
kookily, laughably mashedup nonsensical,

oddly, peculiarly, questionably ridiculous,
spluttering total unintelligible virtually
witless Xmas yakking zany tripe
writes hello albeit as Abbott Long Winded.

This uneventful life of mine desperately
clings (nee plaintively begs cessation
from ****** condemnation since...well,
when alma mater of fact abracadabra magic)

assailed, thence rendered blinkered existence
moot. Prolongation experiencing sustained
nirvana, wrought pitiless cooptation diminishing
enlightened fruition. No matter impossible

to believe omniscient prediction nearly came
to naught. Instant karma graced ecstatic grandeur.
This abbreviated attestation cognitively laughable,
a mere figment of imagination. Ultimate acquisition

asper beholding heavenly jurisdiction limited to
infinitesimal immeasurable marginalization.
Representation allowing, enabling, and providing
sustained self actualization, a willow o the wisp

pipe dream visitation. Appetite whetted
via smidgen spiritual delectation. Now angelic
amplification, declaration, and glorification stymied,
and only briefly espied, when unfettered temptation

sensing an Indus scribe Hubble lucubrate fashioned
afterlife became accidentally accessible. Now???
Utter Pradesh futility, imbecility, and lunacy
to experience sublimation viz cosmic conscious

Creator! Impossible to lie prostrate, thence
whisper vis a vis instigation, intonation, and/or
invocation lamentably ordaining realization
sans, re cap cha, analogous to verboten fruit,

which similarly anointed, when faint approximation
(fulfilling fleeting fatherhood feint), the  
******* exaltation additionallygrounded.
Thus a blackened imprecation exponentially

fulminates, pestiferously quakes, and
sycophantically tortures purposely, viciously
increasesing prolongation of deprivation.
Despair erodes faithful generation formerly

harvesting insightful joyous kinship with long
lost loves. Salivation for salvation even pronounced
via declaration for crucifixion. Mine kismet grounded
spiritual gypped facilitation instills voluntary extradition.

This native American son willingly adopted
Alfred E. Neuman disguise. Outfitted thus,
while astride Red Baron (docile caparisoned horse),
I will sacrifice mortality surrendering selflessness

to trumpeting, and subsequent permanent deportation
among grateful dead, who defy condemnation
at the price of corporeal longevity. Hallelujahs,
hexameter hosannas, and hurrahs vocalized.

Transition thru divine gabled (invitation only)
dominion extolling democratization, a lifelong
(qua death short) aspiration alm ma LIX spittled
emotionally kudzu choked up existence. Now

blessed eternal peace handily given after thine
incessant pleading,whereat each outstretched palm
olive adrip with perspiration. Redemption (though
atheistic bent) effort likened to universalistic,

naturalistic, holistic, and cathartic balms despite
all this twaddle i.e. unnecessary verbalization,
sans obfuscation, jocular equivocation.
Translation even more onerous from this: Man
Hue Sscript!

Therefore, I opted to
reduce heavy sedation
within unsuspecting reader rabbit
summarization superseded elaboration,
less reason spurring salacious secretion
i.e. a-z expletive epithet, et cetera laced

verbalization crucifixion subsequently,
neither nameless nincompoop (me)
crossing verboten drive,
nor this ditto anonymous
poetic purveyor to burden heavy
onlookers with elegiac colluding bugaboo

even daunting grizzly Adams,
endeavoring exclusively exercising
"E" valuation in futile attempt
to express mild exuberance
entailing English language.

Essentially erudition wrought
elucubration, ecstatic emotion,
enunciation, enumeration, eradication
narrowly avoiding writer's block
concomitent ebullition, emasculation
exacerbation, exasperation,

stepped up escalation elevation
malignant hypertension, encrustation
elementary (my dear Watson)
extemporaneous embarkation
severely affected non exlax induced
emergency enema evacuation,

but not even for the grace of dog
unstoppable elimination, ejection...
exhausting excavation
water closet expedition
elucidation, elation, edification,
vis a vis emancipation,

despite literary emaciation malnutrition
near extinction yours truly,
nonetheless... faint eruption
eureka ******* elongation
emanation awoke new edition
regarding neigh saying kid on the block

elicitation, elocution, energization,
eroticization, estimation, excitation
activated skeletal echolocation
eye opening entrepreneurial effectuation
analogous TVA electrification,
hence enervation equalization

relieved self cannibalization
thankfully discouraging envenomization
invariably in conclusion,
no exaggeration pronouncing
exemption verdict against
my extirpation sore disappointment!

(alternatively titled eldest daughter despises us)

Eden (beloved eldest daughter) icy
flat tone of voice spoke volumes,
when she talked with the missus and me
courtesy cellular telecommunications key
December twenty seventh
two thousand nineteen
unwavering listless dull verbalization see
I subsequently told spouse, she
thy super smart self reliant progeny

fending for herself approximately
last half dozen years exhibits je
ne sais quois profound loathing
predicated growing up dirt poor free
quint lee lamenting deprivations re:
guarding legal tender adequate specie
i.e. money - at least compared to every
MainLine millionaire flush with dee -

suppose able income, and oft times
lovingly, pleasantly, unexpectedly...
receiving largasse gift horse courtesy
zayda (my father), who art not yet
in heaven sprung monetary help, ye
this second born and only son did
profusely think him (papa) lee
ving voice messages on his landline,
and tracfone, plus wrote heartfelt poem,

similar acknowledgement modus operandi,
when said offspring
became twenty three
years old - five days ago, nonetheless thee
admirable, dependable, honorable... née
holds Matthew Scott (namely he),
who helped beget
darling feels angry,

and doth plainly exhibits contempt
(you) dear reader guessed correctly
towards sorrowful dada,
where inescapable thralldom
doth invisibly chain
(think ghost of Marley)
apologetic sir, whose
precious kinder, I

will unwaveringly cherish
forever love and revere
despite up paul ling
destitution, grinding linkedin penury,
and red hot poker faced
anger, yes... dismay
prevails how unforgiving
once (Benny sent) baby,

inside joke, I attest neigh
scent "star student,"
now grown young woman,
no longer - figuratively
wrapped around yours
truly her finger
father who fell short, natively cree
hated abhorrent within re

cent mammary, ***** (hers)
harboring scathing unmasked vee
hum mint, blistering, rancorous,
seething, volcanic withering...
no matter disgusting revulsion
toward aging mommy
and repentant daddy,
I LOVE YE EDEN + SHANA!