.                        Thin as a rake
                         No food intake
                      Endless heartache
                        I won't partake,
                     More time does slip
                         Life on a drip,
                      Alone in my head
                       Confined to a bed,
                    
                      My time is passing
                    Unwaivering fasting
                       Mother is crying
                       Body atrophying,

         To my family lying,
                                 That all will be ok.

Though this body will not see the sunrise of another day.

moments
of Medusa's eyes

visions hardening
then crumbling
whilst still distracted
by the unwaivering allure
of come-hither eyes

oblivious to the dire
realm of quickly evaporating reality
left with thoughts, though
no choice but to revel
in the vampiric kiss
of a beautiful apocalypse

finding only empty castles
void of jest and princess alike
not lonely, but alone
crowned king
of thoughts already spoken
and days already dead.

I've spent my day lying in bed
Attempting to find peace for my soul.
Run thin by anxiety,
Tattered by endless hours,
Repetitive thoughts and fears
Chewing at the fabrics of my calm demeanor.
Making an unwaivering decision was never my strength.
Monumental moments...
Life altering in every aspect...
And all i can think about is the aftermath.
Yet a choice must be made
because in all honesty,
I don't think I can take this anymore.

How sweet the sound of amazing grace that saves filthy sinners like me.
Who are not even close to worthy of accepting the gift of God's love that is
             Relentless;
                       Unwaivering;
                                  No strings attached.
He died a painful death upon the cross to save lives like mine.
Ones that can't even resist the smallest temptations put before us, though we know the extent of the evil one.
Why is it that we cling to the things of this world that are
              Evil;
                    Destructive;
                                Corruptive;
Instead of holding onto the everlasting promises of our Lord Jesus that are
              Hopeful;
                      Redemptive;
                                  Life changing.
He took a lost, broken, depressed drug addict, and chose me to do His mighty work; to build up His kingdom.
Not once has He said you're not good enough and you'll never be.
But he took the
               Lost me;
                        Angry me;
                                 Addiction based me;
And said "I'm going to use your story, for my glory, and I'll make you strong enough to resist those things."
For when I am weak, that's when He is strong.
Stronger than any temptation ivs ever faced.
And just like Nehemiah, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

You left me.
I was miserable.
Yet someone came.
I denied that she was just like you.
But, she actually is.
Everytime I am with her, I see you.

You have the same personality.
You share the same race.
You both have that unwaivering determination.
You both share the same faith.
I gave emotional attachment to you both.
And then, both of you left me.

My footsteps were dampened
By the cool grey stone
As I walked down
The cold and empty hall

On my right and left
Were rows and rows of cells
This place must have been a prison
Long ago before it was abandoned

Dusty light fell down
Through the small barred window
Passing through it I noticed
It felt much thicker than air

At the end of the hallway
I came to a wood panel door
Reinforced with metal
But it appeared to be unlocked

I gently turned the ****
And enter the room behind
It was small room furnished by
Nothing but a crude chair and table

Shutting the door behind me
I realized that
There were no other entrances
Or exits to the room

It was rather dark
Dust and particles filled the air
The only light
Came from a lamp on the table

On that table, besides the lamp, were
Various old files, Empty film canisters
And a curious movie projector
Devoid of any film

Searching further I found
One of the canisters
Actually contained a film
In immaculate condition

Curious I picked it up
And fed it through the projector
Once I was sure it was in place
I turned the machine on

Nothing happened at first
And then the opposite wall
Burst into animation
As the film began to play

There was an eye
I was not sure
If the movie was playing
Until I saw it blink

And I do not know
How long I watched it
For it managed to hold
My unwaivering attention

Other scenes began to play
And they flowed from one to the next
The longer I watched
The less I understood of what I saw

The visions on the screen
Became increasingly stranger
I felt both sick
And horribly uneasy

The only thing I could now make out
Was a dark lanky hand
Stretching and curling around
Around a door frame

Only then did I realize
I had stopped watching the screen
long ago