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Fayth Feb 2018
Unwanted hands
They find me
Nothing can stop them
They break me
Touch me

Unwanted hands
They’re everywhere
Sliding and gliding
In every place
Especially the unwanted places

Unwanted hands
Tearing me apart
Pulling at my hair
Smiling in my face
While i cry

Unwanted hands
I wish they were gone
They are full of harm
Yet, they keep going
Keep pushing on

Unwanted hands
Screaming at me
You’re worthless
Stupid
Ugly

Unwanted hands
Breaking me
Hurting me
Scaring me
Loving me

Unwanted hands
Saying all those things
Yet they still find their way
To all the secret places
Places that have not yet been discovered

Unwanted hands
They took over
They stole me
Changed me
Made me

Unwanted hands
Around my neck
Gripping tight
Strangling
Red marks

Unwanted hands
Unwanted hands
Unwanted hands
It started out looking good
cause we both saw the sparks.
We were inseparable.
You stole my heart.
I stole yours too,
I was in love with you.

And I still am
but your feelings have changed.
Maybe to you it was just a fun game.
You played with my heart
when you loved someone else.
Now I am eternally scarred
and seeing you doesn't help.
It makes my wound open
right after it's closed.
Are you oblivious to my hurt,
or is your heart just cold.
You make me feel unwanted
I don't know what to do.
I hate how I can't
stop loving you.
And day after day, it is always the same.
I forgive you again, and again, and again.
When you have no one else, we are buddy buddy.
You laugh at my jokes and tell me I'm funny.
When you're with another friend
it's like I don't exist.
I keep drowning deeper,
I feel so helpless.
You make me feel unwanted
and I feel so alone.
You're the reason I crawl into a corner
and cry at home.
Yet I can't help myself,
I keep going back .
As soon as I feel happy,
you decide to attack.
I wish I would learn my lesson,
wish I could just forget.
I wish you didn't make me
do things I regret.
I hate feeling unwanted
I'm so self-conscious now.
I don't know when someone wants me around.
This feeling of being unwanted
it has become too real.
It has become so normal
I wish I didn't know how to feel.
Venice Williams Jan 2015
Alone, cold, and mislead
is what it feels like to be unwanted.

After a while the feelings are accepted,well actually any feeling.

Maybe this was planned maybe if I keep going I will see a light.

Through this darkness I will come.
Feelings of acceptance creep in, slowly, but they still come.

Laughter seems so far away, like it is foreign where I am.

Where is that I ask? Why does it even matter because I know what darkness feels like.

I know what being unwanted feels like.

Because no one can help me now. Now that I know what it feels like and what it means.

Now I know what it means to be

                                              Darkly Unwanted.
Aubry Nov 2019
I'm unwanted
I know this to be true
Because they look at me and then they look at you
I'm not the beautiful mistress they want me to be

I'm unwanted
Unwanted by society because i'm to different for them
I'm unwanted by my so called friends
they're to good for me anyway
I'm unwanted by those fashion magazines
Those perfect models aren't missing me

I remember when I was young
My parents used to tell me
Don't be smug
Don't start things you cant end
And most importantly don't lose yourself

I'm sorry mom and dad but your little girl is gone
I broke your most important rule
But to be fair to lose yourself you must find yourself first
That's as hard to find as a pure soul
In this unforgiving
unworthy world

Because i'm unwanted and I know that now...
samuel ck Nov 2011
I am an unwanted child of god**

I am an unwanted child of god-
He said,
And I, (believing him)
examined his shapes closely.

Simple enough,
Is what would best describe him,
his feet were sheltered by rubbers
manufactured in some distant or exotic country
crafted by machines
in far away factories.

This unwanted child of god, this dark young man, child of father after father infinitum;
Gave me a look of terror and apathy at once, then spoke.

I think, sometimes, of acting out of character-
(his smile surprised me)
I put the gun in my mouth just to taste the cold iron-
I bring men to my hotel room, women too-
(his gap widened)
Who can say I am not the happiest ******* on the ******* planet-

'not me'
I'll drink to that-

Oh hoarse throat, oh smokey breath
Oh sad unwanted child of god
Whose mother did look upon the coat-hanger,
And whose father did look upon the belt;
I'll drink to you everyday,
For who is to say I'm not the happiest ******* on the ******* planet?
Hip and hip
hooray.

Next Sunday he pulled the trigger, and stained the Dull brown wall of his hotel room.
Phillip McKenzie Nov 2014
Yesterday's tears.
Tracking down neglected cheeks,
Through grime and dirt
On frowning face.
Who will wipe them dry
And make her smile?
Unwanted child.

Yesterday's fears.
Haunting her another day.
She makes her bed
In alley ways.
Who will take her home
And make her warm?
Unwanted child.

Yesterday's hunger.
Eating at her; wants and needs;
Food can't be found
At any cost.
Who will nourish her
And give her life?
Unwanted child.

Yesterday's life.
Passing now to be no more.
Forlorn and cold
On hated streets.
Who will bury her
And give her rest?
Unwanted child.
AngryTeen Jun 2019
Depression is like an unwanted relative

Always showing up at the wrong time
Refusing to leave

Depression is like an unwanted relative

Pointing out your mistakes
Because nothing you do will ever be right

Depression is like an unwanted relative

Coming and leaving your mind as it pleases
Returning during the night and popping in through the day

Depression is like an unwanted relative

Leaving you exhausted, and tired
They take up all your mind

Depression is like an unwanted relative

Never letting you be happy
Because you didn't deserve it
Did you?
Dipang Vaishnav Feb 2017
I am hurt,
But I don’t wanna cry.
These words can’t explain,
The pain beneath my brain.

I never thought you would,
Make me feel unwanted.
Forget about replies,
You have even stopped looking at me.

I’m feeling unwanted,
I just want you to come back.
All got their eyes replaced,
Now they can’t see my face.

Now I usually go and sit there,
Where we first time met.
All day long, I remember,
All that small little fights we had together.

You’re here in front of my eyes,
But I can’t catch you with my eyes.
You’re making me feel unwanted,
You’re trying to say that,
I’m nobody in your heart,
And I’m feeling unwanted.
Ivy Haegan Mar 2014
Take down the names of the unwanted
Make sure that I'm on the list
As rain pours down their faces
Remember that we exist

The sound of the marching footsteps
The death of an innocent man
Remembrance of what it once was
The times when it began
You made me feel unwanted
by all the things you did not say,
a simple goodnight, how was your day?
sometimes silence can break one down. say something!!!!!
Every felt like the world is caving in on you?
Like there's no where to go anymore?
Like you're being kicked out?
Don't freight my little angel,
For I am Unwanted too

I am the 5th wheel
So I'm not even on the wagon
I was kicked out
By my best friend

Every felt like crying?
Or even like dying?
Don't freight my little Angel
For we are both Unwanted

But don't be sad
Dont be mad
We are alike
So unwanted, so lets be friends :)
a b c d e
a b c d
a a b c
a a b c
Cameron is real Feb 2015
We are the unwanted the ones who hid in the shade
We are the unwanted the few with a crimson glazed blade
We are the unwanted the left behind
We are the unwanted and we will no longer cry
We are the unwanted and today is are time
Here I made this enjoy or do t that's up to you
Daylight 4U2C Apr 2014
My hand and gripped hair
The threats?
"I CAN rip you out, I just CHOOSE not to."
Is is fear, despair, madness, loathe?
The answer is empty of meaning.
What is known would be ignored,
as all said seems true,
but fake.
Boundlessly vain.
silly,
worthless;
doubtful.
What am I looking for in this effort?

I know.
I see.
I hear.
I believe.
One thought twigs into another.
I even wonder if the ocean can breathe.
Breathe life into me.
Aliens don't exist,
but nightmares and demons do?
A problem,
unwanted.
A result,
unwanted.
An answer,
only a lie,
....
unwanted, unwanted, oh so unwanted.

I scream inside,
and every inner glass is shattered.
I yell,
"Notice of Insanity Uprising!"
They yell back,
"That's Life."
Upon those words I numb my mind,
I release my grip.
I let go of everything.
MY face: gone
MY body: gone
MY hope: gone gone gone
Anything and everything that was me leaves,
and my body becomes a cadaver.
Drifting side to side,
in and out.
It's more calm now though.
My mind is no longer driving me crazy.

For we have reached our destination.
Steph Dionisio Mar 2016
You said that she's beautiful like a garden.
Filled with glowing beauty;
drenched in the warmth of sunshine.
But little did you know,
this beautiful garden has grown wildflowers.
They are in every corner, even on the path.
And the time you noticed these unwanted flowers,
you stepped on every blossom and left the garden.

*-Steph Dionisio, March 9, 2016
Poetic T Oct 2014
Thrown back, like unclean
Not even as a second look,
Features great the cold ground,
Feeling more in this moment
Of contact, than in life
Smile,
Laugh,
Fake,
Feelings upon show, not opening
That emotion that shows,
I have hands out, as if trying to cup
Water,
Air,
Charity,
Of others, not wanting to go back,
"I will not look back"
They shut that door, and ended it.
A new harder chapter in my
Walk of life, But the ground is
Cold,
Vacant,
Unfeeling,
But it is upon this I now rest a
Weary head,
Curled up,
Protection of self,
For predators of the night greet darkness
I hope that a new day awakens my eyes,
For I am among many,
Vacant emotion upon many faces
As if the world has won over them,
I just wish to open my eyes and greet a new day
I am among many unwanted but still wish *life.
See them standing on the podium of promises
Tickling us to wed them into power
As we stand under the burning sun, sweaty as ever
All ears to their flowered words of which they caress
And powdered our minds with.
They donate maggi, salt, wears and the root of all evil,
To further blind our minds and instinct.
Like goats following a hand with a palm fruit,
We chased them with high hopes to the polls,
Like Esau of old we repay their donation with our votes.

Their desires were met, now in power
At serious battle against their promises,
Our faith getting lean, our hopes bleed in response to their policies.
The opposition jubilant for the failure of the electorates.
Soon, they awoke into reality, spur to abort incumbent reign.
Some took to bombs, guns, cutlasses, few to the streets.
The opposition soldiers are thugs, always hungry to ****.
The masses weapons are their mouth, placards,
And solidarity songs, they walk and sing.
They say when elephants fight the grasses suffer
I wonder who are the elephants or the grasses indeed.
A  place that suppose to be our home now a battle field
Where everyone fights for self survival
Forgetting the unborn, our toddlers, our heroes past.

It is high time we talked and sack the thugs
But who will moderate
Who will faithfully give audience, who will sincerely talk?
The elite, the elected seems like they are war ready
They have well set up their political troops
A war they won't stand to fight
But escape through thinning air off our sight.

In a molding  state
Pigs dare to preach sanity
In a world of questions, ignorance remain the worst cancer
And the apex poverty.
Let not fold our hands and live to die in this doom
If your lips are scared, let your pen speak.
Let not throw in the towel
Until we justfully elapse the reign of the unwanted in one peace.
The inspiration for this poem came from the power struggle in my country and how  we have been very unlucky in getting a leader that all can fully accept. Our leaders here barely keep their promises.
EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE ON PERFORMANCE OF PRIMARY SCHOOL IN KAPYEMIT WARD, TURBO CONSTITUENCY, UASIN-GISHU COUNTY.





BY
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14




A RESEARCH PROJECTSUBMITED TO THE SCHOOL OF ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES, DEPARTMENT OF SOCIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY IN THE PARTIAL FULFILMENT FOR THE AWARD OF THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF SOCIOLOGY



MAY, 2014

DECLARATION

I, the undersigned, declare that this project is my original work and that it has not been presented in any other university or institution for academic credit.

Signature...............................................­..... Date...................................
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14






SUPERVISOR
This project has been submitted for examination with my approval as university supervisor
DR. W. O. ABUYA
Signature..................................................­.. Date....................................




DEDICATION
I dedicate this work to my Dad, Mom, my sister Lydia and my lovely brother Dun who contributed in one way or another to make this project to be successful.


















ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to thank all individuals who contributed and sacrificed their time towards completion of this project.
To my supervisor, for the guidance and support in the development of this research project, His advice and criticism made this project what it is.
Thanks to colleagues and friends for their suggestions, advice and encouragement. To all of you may God bless you abundantly for your tireless effort.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Contents Page
DECLARATION i
DEDICATION ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS iv
LIST OF TABLES vii
LIST OF FIGURE viii
ABSTRACT ix
CHAPTER ONE 10
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM 10
1.1 Background of the Study 10
1.2 Research Questions 13
1.3 Research Objectives 13
1.4 Justification of the Study 13
1.5 Significance of the Study 14
1.6 Scope of the Study 15
1.6.1Assumptions of the Study 16
CHAPTER TWO 17
LITERATURE REVIEW 17
2.1 Introduction 17
2.2 Common Forms of Child Abuse 17
2.2.1 Child ****** Abuse 17
2.2.2 Physiological or Emotional Abuse 17
2.2.3 Physical Abuse 18
2.2.4 Child Neglect or Abandonment 18
2.2.4.1 Physical Neglect 19
2.2.4.2 Educational Neglect 19
2.2.4.3 Medical Neglect 19
2.2.5 Child Fatalities 20
2.3 How Child Abuse Affects Academic Performance 20
2.3.1 Child Abuse and Academic Performance 20
2.3.2 Child Abuse and School Image 23
2.3.3 Child Abuse and Dropout Rate 25
2.4 Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 26
2.4.1 Role of Public Regulation 26
2.4.1.1 Nurturing and Attachment 27
2.4.1.2 Social Connections 27
2.5 Theoretical Framework 27
2.5.1 Learning Theory 28
2.5.1.1 Relationship with the Study 28
2.5.2 Family Dysfunction Theory 29
2.5.2.1 Relationship with the Study 29
CHAPTER THREE 30
RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY 30
3.0 Introduction 30
3.1 Site Description 30
3.2 Research Design 30
3.3.1 Target Population 30
3.3.2 Sample Size and Sampling Procedure 31
3.4 Description of Research Instruments 32
3.4.1 Research Instrument 32
3.4.1.1 Questionnaire 32
3.5 Data Collection Procedure 32
3.5.1 Validity and Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.1 Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.2 Validity 33
3.6 Data Analysis and Presentation 33
CHAPTER FOUR 35
DATA PRESENTATION AND ANALYSIS 35
4.0 Introduction 35
4.1 Background Information 35
4.1.1 Age of the Respondents 35
4.1.2 *** of the Respondents 35
4.1.3 Education Level of the Respondents 36
4.1.4 Marital Status 36
4.2 Specific Information 37
4.2.1 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 37
4.2.2 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 38
4.2.3 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 41
CHAPTER FIVE 43
SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS 43
5.0 Introduction 43
5.1 Summary of the findings 43
5.2 Discussion of the Findings 44
5.3 Conclusion 45
5.4 Recommendations 46
REFERENCES 47

LIST OF TABLES & FIGURES
Table 3.1 Target population 32
Table 3.1 Sample size 33
Table 4.1 Age of the Respondents 36
Table 4.2 *** of the Respondents 37
Table 4.3 Education Level of the Respondents 37
Table 4.4 Marital Status 38
Table 4.5 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 38
Table 4.6 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 40
Figure 4.1 Views of the Pupils on Abuse 41
Table 4.7 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 42





















ABSTRACT
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The purpose of the study was to investigate the effect of child abuse on school performance in Primary Schools in Kapyemit ward, Uasin-Gishu County. The objectives of the study were: To assess the impacts of child abuse on academic performance; to determine the effects of child abuse on schools image, to identify the impacts of child abuse on pupil drop out rate, to investigate the effects of child abuse on pupil transition rate. The study employed a survey study design. The study targeted 160 respondents which includes; 5 Head Teachers, 40 Teachers, 70 Pupils and 35 parents of which a sample size of 48 was obtained from using 30%. Purposive sampling technique was used in selecting the head teachers while simple random sampling technique will be used to select the teachers, Pupils and parents who formed the respondents of the study. Questionnaires and interview schedules were used as data collection instruments. Data was analyzed quantitatively and qualitatively and presented in form of tables, percentages and frequency. The study helped in the understanding of the effects of child abuse on the school performance, the realization of the roles parents and teachers play in the curbing of child abuse among pupils and raising awareness on the same.

CHAPTER ONE
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
1.1 Background of the Study
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The effects can appear in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, and may affect various aspects of an individual's development (e.g., physical, cognitive, psychological, and behavioral). These effects range in consequence from minor physical injuries, low self-esteem, attention disorders, and poor peer relations to severe brain damage, extremely violent behavior, and death. In extreme cases, child abuse affects the performance of schools in the affected region (Daniel, 1978).
Performance refers to how students deal with their academic studies and how they cope with or accomplish different tasks given to them by their teachers. Performance is also the ability of a school to portray a good image which can influence the public (Decastro, 1978). There are several factors that influence the performance of a school at large, however, there is a critical factor that most researchers have avoided to discuss, and child abuse has been a crucial factor that has contributed to children’s dismal performance. Apart from children’s personal intelligence, child abuse is among then key factors contributing to poor performance of learners. Child abuse can lead to school dropping, emotional trauma or can even be fatal, hence destructing or even terminating the educational ambitions of a child. (Harris, 2005)
Worldwide, according to World Health Organization (WHO, 2000) approximately 40 million children are subjected to child abuse each year. According to Human Rights Watch (2001) about 30% of all severely disabled children relegated to special homes in the Ukraine died before they reached 18 years of age. UNICEF estimates that two million children died as a result of armed conflict during a recent 10-year period and that another six million were injured or disabled. In Canada, the U.S. and Mexico, over 6.5 million children annually are exposed to unwanted ****** materials over the internet; over 1.7 million of these report distress over exposure to these materials. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child. Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. Each year, approximately one million children around the world are introduced into commercial ****** exploitation despite this problem; these developed countries have put measures to curb the vice. Rehabilitation schools have been formed and introduction of counseling centers as well. Despite the prevalence of child abuse in this developed nations they narrowly affect the academic performance since there are organizations put in place to curb the situation e.g. child associations, guidance and counseling institutions, and school based counseling programs (Giles, 2001)
Concern for victims of child abuse in Africa expressed by the African network of the International Society for The Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN) which gave five main presentations of child abuse: child labor, street wandering, ****** abuse, child battering and abandonment (Elma, 1977). Child labor according to the international labor organization (ILO), about 10 million children less than 15years in Africa are in formal employment, working long hours with poor pay and are exposed to substantial health hazards. Wandering of children refers to children, usually unkempt and with delinquent propensities, living rough in town. The reasons for children taking to the street remain poorly understood particularly in relation to factors in the child rather than parental hostility and economic (Dubowitz, 2002)
****** abuse is another. For example, arranged under-age marriages are common in some parts of the continent and doubt was often expressed as to whether a young girl fully gave consent to being betrothed (Galdsone, 1965). Prevalence rates in Africa are very difficult to ascertain because of the fear of disclosure by victims and lack of proper documentation. Most of the girls by reasons of shame fear or surprisingly respect for their usually older perpetrators. Physical battering is also eminent. Physical abuse of children is widely claimed to berate in the third world; however, there are anecdotes from east Africa skeletal frame or localized body areas of all first attendees aged 0-12 years at this hospital during the four-year period 1 January 1987 to 31 December 1990 (Garbarino, 1975). Sixty-nine of these reports reveals evidence of multiple bone fractures wither without evidence of rib or skull fracture. Abandonment of children to roam around the streets in what we call street children is also eminent in Africa, though valid and adequate information on abandonment are difficult to obtain due mainly to failure of offending parents to show up out of guilt, shame, judicial repercussions or a combination of these. However, some euro-American missionaries identified inter alia breech birth. (Erickson, 2003)
Child protection measures in Kenya are currently not implemented effectively and fully (Galdstone, 1965). Compliance with such legislation would increase if the magnitude of the problem and better knowledge about the factors that put children at risk was available. Additionally, involving stakeholders, especially agencies charged with protection, as well as involving affected children, will highlight the issues and thereby promote adherence to protection policies. Kenyan children, child activists and children organizations are pinning their hopes on the implementation of the Children’s Act to improve the lot of the nation’s youth. The Act, which came into effect on 1 March 2002, puts in place full safeguards for the rights of the child. Its passage was a giant stride in harmonizing the national laws with international agreements which Kenya has signed such as the UN Conventions on the Rights of the Child (CRC, 2002)
There is hope that the new legislation will dramatically change the inattention, neglect and abuse towards child rights. The Act outlaws any form discrimination of children, and forbids Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), child prostitution, and child labor, among other forms of abuse. The Children’s Act has immensely improved the lives of many Kenyan children plagued with high illiteracy levels, frequent **** cases and child labor since it guarantees children the right to health and medical care, provision of which is the responsibility of the parents, the extended family and the government (Erickson, 2005).
Cases of child abuse in Uasin-Gishu region have been so eminent in the recent years ((Kenya Media Report, 2004). In the year 2010 and the year 2011, there was a program started to rehabilitate this behavior. This problem is clearly evident when you first arrive in Eldoret town, it is among the towns in the country with the highest number of abandoned children who keep on moving from one Centre to another seeking help from passersby. Parents have developed behaviors of abandoning their children and deliberately sending them to the town so that they can benefit from their borrowing. So to say this has led to child labor in this region. High profile cases of school dropouts have been recorded regarding the environs of this region. Young school children from different locations in Eldoret converge in town to persuade people to offer them financial assistance. Some attend school in numbered days and decide to spend some good number of days out of school.
The communities and societies around tend to assume this situation and term it as norm. A few who might seem concerned lack cooperation from the rest. This has adversely affected the performance of most of schools, hence leading to poor living standards of the people and a poisoned future of a young citizen. The problem has affected learners in regions like many areas in Uasin-Gishu County. It has really affected child development and affected their attendance and performance in school. Little intervention measures has been taken to advocate the holistic development of the children. It was to this reason that the researcher conducted the research in the named above region
1.2 Research Questions
The study was guided by the following questions;
1) What is the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward?  
2) What are some of the proposed strategies that schools can employ to curb child abuse?
1.3 Research Objectives
The study was guided by the following research objectives;
1) To identify the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward.
2) To identify proposed strategies that can be employed to help curb child abuse.
1.4 Justification of the Study
It is becoming increasingly difficult to separate child abuse prevention into separate categories. For instance, strategies on the societal level include increasing the “value” of children, increasing the economic self-sufficiency of families, discouraging corporal punishment and other forms of violence, making health care more accessible and affordable, expanding and improving coordination of social services, improving the identification and treatment of psychological problems and alcohol and drug abuse, providing more affordable child care and preventing the birth of unwanted children.
Very little analysis has been done to estimate the total cost of preventing child abuse and neglect or the long-term social costs of not preventing it. There is now a move to situate child abuse and neglect within the continuum of intervention which addresses multiple aspects of family behaviors. The efficacy of tackling portions of the problem of child abuse apart from broader societal needs is not known. And, perhaps prevention can only come in tandem with efforts to reduce poverty, improve health care and make children’s issues a national priority. However, despite these constraints, evaluations of prevention programs can be improved by coming to terms with definitions of key varia
Brett W Sep 2013
I am not talking of the dreams
For what you want to do in your life
The ones that occur in your sleep
But over the past couple of nights
I have encountered unwanted dreams

A few nights ago
I dreamt of being in a plane
Going to see the person I love
And the plane crashed in a horrific manner

Then there is last night’s dream
I drove 1500 miles to see the one I love
And when I arrived, I held her in my arms
And she soon passed away
Sobbing while cradled in my arms

I don’t want these dreams
They’re showing me unwanted ideas
Unwanted predictions of the future
I wish the happy dreams would come back...
The "person I love" has Leukemia and was told she has 6-12 months to live and I would do anything to see her, and in these past dreams, either I have died before I got to her, or I did get to her but she died while in my arms. I hate these dreams...
francine Dec 2019
unwanted

hold my hand
and tell me im
wanted

unwanted
ask me how my day was
and tell me im
wanted

unwanted
dance with me
and tell me im
wanted

unwanted
tell me that my feelings matter
and tell me im
wanted

I don't want to feel so unwanted
im just feeling off today
My hate is the unused love
The love that was not accepted
Everyone saw that quiet, lonely shell
But merely flicked it away

I walked alone
I sat alone
I had this love
This unwanted love
No one to give it to
No way to show it

So I learned how to hate
This love turned sour
Covered in black
Scrape away the darkness,
You'll end up back

The hatred filled me like love once did
And like love,
There was no one to give it to
Like always,
I was alone

So the hatred simmered
The darkness calmed down
And turned dark blue
It was sadness
Suffocating sadness

The muggy air filled my lungs
Condensation pouring out of my eyes
The love was being chipped away
Was there any love at all?

And here I sit
With a line for a mouth
And tired eyes
I'm still alone
Kelsey Peyton Aug 2011
It's printed into your
ice cold, pale skin.
Permanent and never fading.
Tattooed in black ink,
all the promises you
have made and broken.
You reap what you sow;
And dear unwanted thing
of my life, this is a sharpie
and these are your mistakes
that has made you leave
a path of destruction
right behind you.
You dragged us along
the rusted barbwire
and broken glass
that has left us all
bleeding and scarred.
Dear Unwanted thing of
this pointless, drawn out life,
you've sacrificed the good
only to bring us all pain.
Dear Unwanted thing in my life,
You are no longer worth my time.
Repression is everywhere .  Repression is so common it is almost impossible to avoid .  Repression can be found in natural laws ; gravity is a repressive force .  I experience a desire for repression when I consider the possibility of extra-terrestrial life .  Propaganda is a form of repression when it eliminates unwanted truth ; militaristic logistics require repression of the extraneous.  Social hierarchy is only as good as it is expedient ; credibility is the key .  Psychological repression can be a functional personal tool .  Repression is a frictional force that can either eliminate unwanted forces or alter their courses .
Repression is most often thought of as a governmental tool .  There are many reasons a government might want to repress it’s subjects .  In a truly free government no one can practice repression on others of no consent unless they have infringed on their rights .  Fascist and socialist governments can force their people at will .  Their children are trained both  directly and subliminally in order that they may better fulfill their social positions .  In free countries laws repress repressors : people who might want to tamper with your rights .  Monopolies get repressed because they tamper with the people’s right to a free market competition
  system .  The individual reigns and the majority decides what is best for everyone .
The elimination of all unwanted repressions is the natural goal of all individuals yet repression is common the world over .  Social hierarchies necessitate repressions ; expedience in teamwork becomes more credible than individuality .  Many sociological forces create their own realms of repression ; the normalcy demanded by tyrannical governments and puritanical religions are obvious examples .  
Any retrospective examination of human history that is depthfully complete will probably bring to mind a vast quandary of opposing forces beyond social integration .    
           Personally  I find people to have a vast amount of basic similarities .  We become alienated from each other in the application of our abilities .  In fact each and every one of us live in a realm that is totally real only to ourselves .  I find this and similar states of social fragmentation to be one of the most pervasive observations one could make about the state of the human race .  
The tabula rasa state of man is an evolutional being ; a conscious realm that became out of dirt , water , sunlight , time ; an essence that has an innate quality , a cosmic continuum .  The historical development of world religions paints a vivid picture of man’s desire to relate to this tactile awareness .
There are many forces in the universe that we as humans need to repress .  Unwarranted or unwanted forces encounter natural resistance .  Humans learn to control their conscious state as they acquire maturity .  Natural repressions grow out of an understanding of the need for them .  But humans are not satiated with pragmatic self orientation .  They are easily misled by the perceived nature of their unconscious state .  The perfection orientation of Adolf ****** gives a stark example of an institutionalization of one of these warped images .
World religions also are often abortive of individual aspiration . Of course more often than not their impetus factors seem at least partially acceptable .
Practicality dictates that humans be self orientated in order to achieve their optimum state , but what is self orientation ?  Humans exist in both a conscious and unconscious state .  Individually we all perform many subconscious activities on an inadvertent level .  Although many of them are autonomic defenses we can exercise control and attempt psychic clarity .  
Actually repression is something that each and every individual must put down for themselves .  Although social expedience creates an environment that is conducive to itself , individuals have an innate need to repress certain of their psychic phenomena whether they are created by their environment or well from within .
ghazal Nov 2013
I know I was never there to begin with, but will you still accept me into your heart?
I know its messed up, and everyday I wish I took those seven steps needed to confront.
You're all I ever wanted, but without the permanent affiliation.
I just wanted you to call every now and then,
Tell me that you're okay and you don't need the extra five or ten.
I'm emptying out and keeping the lies on my lips.
Inches away from you, holding tears back from my eyelids.
I wonder what kind of life I'd have lived if I would've tapped your shoulder,
Or what kind of regrets I'd have had if I would've pulled that trigger.
That's all behind me, but I always end up facing the other way.
But who's to say it's the wrong way?
For all I know, this is the world telling me to end my day.
But every time I open my eyes and wake up,
You're still on my mind, but without the make up.
You're scars are showing,
And your tears are flowing.
You're eyes are holding and you'll never understand how much you mean to me, theres no way of knowing!
You cut to conclusions and split the wrist!
I'm crazy just as much and you never ask me why I close my fists.
We're not the same yet we're making the same mistakes.
If I tried to end my life would you hold it onto me?
Tell me it's against my religion and culture and never look at me?
Without feeling ashamed, this life is so young but the time is so old,
And I might be freezing but thats because I'm so cold.
My heart is so overwhelmed and It's basically sold to the man in the black suit and a red tie.
You taught me well,
But the bad habbits are the ones that stay and dwell.
It's not your fault but I'm still blaming you.
I'm a mistake.  
The small skid on the side of the paper.
The piece of dough that fell on the floor, stepped on by it's own cater.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I'm infested by worms and caterpillars,
And I might like it,
Because I'm independent and someone still wants me.  
Consulting myself because I'm all that I have,
Masking my feelings because my psycologist laughed!
I'm done asking because I'm all that I have,
Don't tell me that you're there for me, just stop lying.
I'm and unwanted ****, and I'm tragically dying.
I'm not a wilting rose, so there's nothing that you can say about me or boast.
Just forget about me, I'm not all that you know.
It's over, so let my memories go.
I don't want you frowning or crying,
This is how I am.

I'm an unwanted ****.
And I'm tragically dying.
Still Crazy Jul 2017
{•}

unwanted love

we, the human counting crows, tracking everything, steps, bank balances, heartbeats & especially,
those dastardly calories that need burning

pre yoga, her morning banana,
she takes but a half, and looks to unload the balance on a sucker/victim in the vicinity because a whole
is greater than a half,
and God knows a whole could make you fatter!

fully prepared for her desperate supplication, reply so quick,
"you're forcing me to eat unwanted calories,"
she crestfallen,
near to weeping from guilty feelings,
a crime so heinous!

but more than ready, added words, prepared years ago:

but to save your life gladly give you any body part,
step in front of a vehicle, for a certain somebody,
you may know, to preserve, life and liberty,
put up with your inanities, border-lining on insanities,

answer your questions before you think of them,
and will restrict my singing to sole showers in the basement
but never will I eat for two, that so undesirable,
in the name of love


to which she came to my bedside, kissed my nose, whispering,
"thank you for my life saving,"
while stuffing my mouth with said weapon,
"thank you again,
please don't make this into a poem"*


somedays you just ain't gonna win,
you see she loves me too well
and knows
my answers before I do...
in every still crazy story, a few grins of truth,
some crazy, and sometimes tears,
and occasionally some banana
I'm ******* done,
With this world that I shouldn't be in.
Once found this maze so amazing
When I was small,
But not anymore.
Growing up singing church songs
Of what I was not.
How did I belong to what promoted
What I could never be?
There you go:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Because families were made to be perfect!
So plan all your babies,
But society will still
**** them all up in cages.
Not much waiting involved
It won't take very long.
I am not what the mormon church says.
I was a mistake.
I don't live with two parents.
I see but don't live with one.
So I'm blaming my mother,
Because in theses times that I cry
Is when I realise
That it's all her fault.
I couldn't help but be created,
So for those who hate me for being born
I'm sorry but sorry won't make it right.
To those who being a demon makes you high
I guess I'll have to just stand and watch.
Yes I've grown taller
And height has made me see,
How much that I was not meant to be.
I have friends
But one day everyone
Will get torn away.
Then there will just be nothing.
Nothing of me
Or for me, at least.
And it's almost like I only have
Maladaptive daydreams to be happy about,
But I can't because they're depressing as hell.
The fact that I exist to be able to have them is déprimant
Yet I am not depressed
But maybe I should be,
Because God knows I shouldn't be here
And dear God I'm sorry I am
Because I messed up your perfect plan.
And well if my birth really was hectic
Then why couldn't I have died then?
Because my stupid, pathetic and unwanted life
Wouldn't have lasted this long.
What's a mistake is unwanted
What's unplanned is unwanted
What I am is unwanted
What I will be to those around me
One day will be
An unwanted memory.
Sarah DeeSarah Dec 2012
I can't make you want me.
I can't make you care,
About my feelings or emotions,
You left my heart bare.
I cry over you,
Although I know it wont faze you.

Tears fall from my eyes,
As I try to forget you.
It hurts to be unwanted,
Left to the side,
Forgotten about in the blink of an eye.
I feel so insignificant,
So incredibly small,
Knowing that I meant nothing at all.

But I can't make you want me.
I know you don't care.
As much as I want you,
You'll never be there.
Kathy Byers Jan 2010
Ribbons in you hair.
Diamonds in your ears.

Magazine clippings line the floor.
Pictures clutter the desk.
Friends, lovers, family.

You feel like a faked ******, unwanted.
Clinging to what you know is right
and bordering what you know is wrong.

Playing Russian roulette with fate.
Rolling the dice and raising the stakes.
Neither will save you now.

But don't forget to smile and
Bat your lashes.
For when we leave you to rest in peace.
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
We all want to Support
stopping racism,
because we sent black and white men to die in war together,
before we could be educated together,

The end gender inequality,
Because women can't where cloths,
and feel safe,
walking down a street alone,
with out feeling were going to get *****.

Same or different *** relationships,
Because the way you love your significant other,
wouldn't be the same if they changed there gender to the other?

Transgender rights,
Because there a man everywhere else but in there pants,
And men don't get cervical cancers,
So yes legally changing my gender won't help me if i need a treatment only a lady would get,
and this goes vice a versa,
But I shouldn't have to worry about any other pains,
except the possibility of one in my unwanted ****.

**** victims,
including males,
Yes you,
Feminist views,
Please just Stop over looking,

Men go though it too.
And we all may know men may be the main cause,
Women have just as much play,
No human,
Wants an unwanted Violation,
to come into any contact with them so personally,

See all these things,
we want to stop,
and they need to,
but,

When u last walked down the street,
what stranger did your Arrogant eyes peek?
they saw someone,
and you though they were,

too fat,
too small,
too tall,
a ****,
needs to button up,
he used to pop pills,
now he cant pay his bills,
and there's so many I'm leaving out,
like what they thought about you,

so you see,
each of these little groups,
we just pass each other on the street,
even when we didn't even meet,

it's human nature,
our natural order,
to insult each other,
some just get the really blunt edge.

maybe we should change how we think and act,
before we go wishing for things out of our knack's.
I just hate all of these things tbh.
Poetic Artiste Mar 2015
Am I not enough?
I'm treated like an unloved,
Avoided of touch.
Aura is a powerful thing.
ˏˋDalPalˊˎ May 2015
It wasn't my first time drinking
But it was the first time the earth moved beneath my feet
The first time my head spun like a top and the ground made it harder To keep straight
Kings cup and mike's harder lemonade helped me achieve this Unwanted goal
Along with the memory of you

My feet slamming with every step and I try to think of you
I don't know why I do this to myself
Other than wanting to feel sorry for my being on a daily basis

But for the first time when your memory hit my head
It's like my mind put up a brick wall
Not letting you climb over it
No matter how hard you tried to jump over
No matter how hard I tried to pull you up
The wall got higher
And higher
Until I couldn't see you

And that's when I fell back
Through the fluffy clouds in my head
Into the bliss of my brain
And started thinking about those chicken nuggets in the freezer
As I mix some of that mango moscato with cheap illuminium cans

The sun's lining hits the grass

I lay on the couch
Remember how I couldn't even try to remember the pain
And liking it

It makes me start to wonder
If this unwanted goal is my savior from you
Or the devil for me
I'm just letting everyone know that this was like the third time I had ever drank and I don't plan on making this a thing ever. I've seen how alcohol has affected family members and I'd rather not put myself through that.
that mango moscato was like candy though.
Glittery Puke Mar 2014
everything seems to be changing
time after time
our broken pieces mend up
or we get more tinier
each day by day
but i'm still empty
and my unconsciousness is leading me
to a path where i'm losing my way
each day by day
i wonder
where will this go
will it hurt me anymore
and then life pats me on my shoulder
saying it will be okay
no stop lying
i know it's not
nothing in this life is easy
and we have to accept the truth sometimes
or we end up lying at ourselves
and being the one to cry
each day by day
i'm learning lessons
no1: don't trust anyone other than yourself
and i've made my limits between people
fought with many mad faces
but this is the truth
i'm all alone after all
and unwanted
in this world
and i know
i know
i
know
i am unwanted
by everyone
and the world
The Willow Dec 2015
The part of me that wishes more than anything to have a mother to talk to
is locked up tight.

It clangs on the bars from time to time.
Begging for attention.

It's grey, felt skin
on fire.

But when it gets slipped a key by the circumstances that trouble me most,
it burns my guts
and I can't breathe

because the brand of loneliness I inherited from my mother
is grief of the unwanted, and it is not subtle.

It is searing.
It is agonizing.
It is abandonment.
Lillian Harris Apr 2015
These words
Will never
Fully express
The pain
Inside
My chest
When I
Remember
That you don't
Want me
Anymore.
you probably won't even read this.
Ranger May 2014
Unneeded
Unwanted
Replaced
Broken
Wasted
Dieing
....
Me
Willow Branche Mar 2014
I offer myself to you.
Bare and naked.
I rip my heart out for you.
Cold but still beating.
I work my fingers to the bone for you.
Nothing but scraps of what they used to be.
But you can't see what you don't want.
And you don't want what you can't see.
So you throw me away, bare and naked.
You step on my heart, cold - no longer beating.
You push my bloodied hands away from you in disgust.
You don't see how hard I've tried.
You ignore the tears I've cried.
I guess this is all I'll ever be.
I love you anyway mommy.
J Rodriguez Mar 2017
Stop running back to what made you feel unwanted. Don't do it it can only get wrost...
Jeremy Bean Aug 2013
I am the hurt you can't ignore,
dilemmas you wish not to explore
I am that feeling you cant shake,
the flashy white smile you know is fake.

I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.

I am the anger that they feed
I am the task you cant succeed
I am the garden full of weeds
I am the open wound that bleeds

I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.

I am the lies that you thought were true.
I am the ties that are binding you.
I am the aroma of decay
I am the trash that you throw away.

I am the unwanted.
They wish they could change me
All of them
They all wish I was different
They wish they could lock me away
So all there problems would be solved
Put me on meds
As if that would solve anything
They wish I could just see the "happiness" in my life
What happiness?
What is so happy about a broken girl
Who's mom have her away
Who's father just wanted a one night stand
Not a child
Please tell me
I'm done playing the victim
But thats all I'll ever be
And for the rest of my life
I have to face the fact
That I'm just **unwanted

— The End —