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Ari Feb 2010
there are so many places to hide,

in my home at 17th and South screaming death threats at my roommates laughing diabolically playing  videogames and Jeopardy cooking quinoa stretching canvas the dog going mad frothing lunging  spastic to get the monkeys or the wookies or whatever random commandments we issue forth  drunken while Schlock rampages the backdrop,

at my uncle's row house on 22nd and Wallace with my shoes off freezing skipping class to watch March  Madness unwrapping waxpaper hoagies grimacing with each sip of Cherrywine or creamsicle  soda reading chapters at my leisure,

in the stacks among fiberglass and eternal florescent lima-tiled and echo-prone red-eyed and white-faced  caked with asbestos and headphones exhuming ossified pages from layers of cosmic dust  presiding benevolent,

in University City disguised in nothing but a name infiltrating Penn club soccer getting caught after  scoring yet still invited to the pure ***** joy of hell and heaven house parties of ice luge jungle  juice kegstand coke politic networking,

at Drexel's nightlit astroturf with the Jamaicans rolling blunts on the sidelines playing soccer floating in  slo-mo through billows of purple till the early morning or basketball at Penn against goggle- eyed professors in kneepads and copious sweat,

in the shadow tunnels behind Franklin Field always late night loner overlooking rust belt rails abandoned  to an absent tempo till tomorrow never looking behind me in the fear that someone is there,

at Phillies Stadium on glorious summer Tuesdays for dollar dog night laden with algebra geometry and  physics purposely forgetting to apply ballistics to the majestic arc of a home run or in the frozen  subway steam selling F.U. T.O. t-shirts to Eagles fans gnashing when the Cowboys come to town,

at 17th and Sansom in the morning bounding from Little Pete's scrambled eggs toast and black coffee  studying in the Spring thinking All is Full of Love in my ears leaving fog pollen footprints on the  smoking cement blooming,

at the Shambhala Center with dharma lotus dripping from heels soaking rosewater insides thrumming to the  groan of meditation,

at the Art Museum Greco-fleshed and ponderous counting tourists running the Rocky steps staring into shoji screen tatame teahouses,

at the Lebanese place plunked boldly in Reading Terminal Market buying hummus bumping past the Polish  and Irish on my way to the Amish with their wheelwagons packed with pretzels and honey and  chocolate and tea,

at the motheaten thrift store on North Broad buried under sad accumulations of ramshackle clothing  clowning ridiculous in the dim squinting at coathangers through magnifying glasses and mudflat  leather hoping to salvage something insane,

in the brown catacombed warrens of gutted Subterranea trying unsuccessfully to ignore bearded medicine

men adorned with shaman shell necklaces hawking incense bootlegs and broken Zippos halting conversation to listen pensive to the displacement of air after each train hurtles by,

at 30th Street Station cathedral sitting dwarfed by columns Herculean in their ascent and golden light  thunderclap whirligig wings on high circling the luminous waiting sprawled nascent on stringwood pews,

at the Masonic Temple next to City Hall, pretending to be a tourist all the while hoping scouring for clues in the cryptic grand architect apocrypha to expose global conspiracies,

at the Trocadero Electric Factory TLA Khyber Unitarian Church dungeon breaking my neck to basso  perfecto glitch kick drums with a giant's foot stampeding breakbeat holographic mind-boggled  hole-in-the-skull intonations,

at the Medusa Lounge Tritone Bob and Barbara's Silk City et cetera with a pitcher a pounder of Pabst and a  shot of Jim Beam glowing in the dark at the foosball table disco ball bopstepping to hip hop and  jazz and accordions and piano and vinyl,

in gray Fishtown at Gino's recording rap holding pizza debates on the ethics of sampling anything by  David Axelrod rattling tambourines and smiles at the Russian shopgirl downstairs still chained to  soul record crackles of antiquity spiraling from windows above,

at Sam Doom's on 12th and Spring Garden crafting friendship in greenhouse egg crate foam closets  breaking to scrutinize cinema and celebrate Thanksgiving blessed by holy chef Kronick,

in the company of Emily all over or in Kohn's Antiques salvaging for consanguinity and quirky heirlooms  discussing mortality and cancer and celestial funk chord blues as a cosmological constant and  communism and Cuba over mango brown rice plantains baking oatmeal chocolate chip cookies,

in a Coca Cola truck riding shotgun hot as hell hungover below the raging Kensington El at 6 AM nodding soft to the teamsters' curses the snagglesouled destitute crawling forth poisoned from sheet-metal shanty cardboard box projects this is not desolate,

at the impound lot yet again accusing tow trucks of false pretext paying up sheepish swearing I'll have my  revenge,

in the afterhour streets practicing trashcan kung fu and cinder block shotput shouting sauvage operatic at  tattooed bike messenger tribesmen pitstopped at the food trucks,

in the embrace of those I don't love the names sometimes rush at me drowned and I pray to myself for  asylum,

in the ciphers I host always at least 8 emcee lyric clerics summoning elemental until every pore ruptures  and their eyes erupt furious forever the profound voice of dreadlocked Will still haunting stray  bullet shuffles six years later,

in the caldera of Center City with everyone craning our skulls skyward past the stepped skyscrapers  beaming ear-to-ear welcoming acid sun rain melting maddeningly to reconstitute as concrete  rubber steel glass glowing nymphs,

in Philadelphia where every angle is accounted for and every megawatt careers into every throbbing wall where  Art is a mirror universe for every event ever volleyed through the neurons of History,

in Philadelphia of so many places to hide I am altogether as a funnel cloud frenetic roiling imbuing every corner sanctum sanctorum with jackhammer electromagnetism quivering current realizing stupefied I have failed so utterly wonderful human for in seeking to hide I have found

in Philadelphia
My best Ginsberg impression.
D Lowell Wilder Aug 2018
There might have been a time
When I wasn’t full of fear so topped off
Like a gassy sombrero
like a burrito left in the
Sun to bake and there might have
Been a
Time
When I hadn’t yet eaten a burrito
landlocked
In New England, locked in a small state of
Fear and knowing that knowing
just isn’t
Enough.
There might have
Been
A time when luxury was a nickel
apiece paperback
Book at the Unitarian Church fall sale
to raise funds for
Their roof.
To raise their
Roof.
And there
Might
Have been a joy in my spark
Plugs,
A joy
In my canter
A Joy in
My legs that preceded my
Fears.
There might
Have
Been a time:
When I would pick one of the seven records we owned
And delicately put it on the turntable, thinking I will
Have my own money and
buy my own music.
When I idly lift the leaded paint
from the 200 year old wood
And scratch it to smell its sweet aroma.
And put my hand on the glass pane
Think hard enough and open your eyes and it will be
1838 again.
Oh where are the people?
Oh where
when there might have been a time
Did I not see who they are?
Or they did not register.
I must have watched them everyday
Observant
so keen to be seen
Is it possible to feel so much
for feeling so little?
Or did I feel gulfs of embrace
that were not there?
I wanted and I desired and I dug.
I craved and thought and speculated
and clung.
And there might have
Been
A time when I roared on my Schwinn down the long empty
Roads of my town.
Invoking our gods.
Invoking my claims.
There was a time when I stuttered with
Compassion and could
feel a touch observed
There was a time:
Across the street in a
lit house at dusk.
Their curtains are open, their lights are on.
Oh, the sun has settled down
There is that time, golden, when I
Look into your kitchen, and the wallpaper is
Blue and harvest gold with small pictures of oil lamps on
Them and your walls are mustard gold.
Your plates are unbreakable
I see them lustre in the
Overhead light, fashioned like a wagon wheel.
Guns ablazin’.
Trails awash.
There might be a time when I can slip back
Into your kitchen
lick the plates and then
Run my fingers over
the wall paper.
Tracing the outline of the oil
lamps imprinted.
Growing up in a small rural town in Vermont.  The boundlessness of it vs. the containment.
Duke said,
“People pray in many different languages
and God hears them all.”

I’m equally a Jew and Muslim,
both living in perfect peace within me.

I’m a little bit Baptist and a little bit Episcopal.
I yearn to swim in the living waters,
and hunger for the cup and bread.

I’m more of a Quaker then a Buddhist.
Only because I’m American and I can’t speak good Chinese yet.
But Buddha’s Lamp is my constant companion,
illumining my every step in this dark world.

I’m also equally composed of east and west Indies
and sometimes even druid.
The Great Spirit and Tantric arts
remain mysteries to me.
I only know them by feeling.

And yes our Afro Heritage.
The drums, the whistle, the dance,
synchronizes our heart beat
to The Beneficent One’s finger taps.
Yes we celebrate The Holy Spirit
with cymbal, voice and drum.

I am a full dues paying member
to the 2nd Hoboken Chapter
of the Unitarian Universal Catholic Church Respectively.
We meet down the block from Sinatra’s Synagogue.
We are all apostles and responsible
for our small spaces that we rent here on earth.

I know I’m 100% Zoroastrian.
I am mesmerized by the fire.
My heart aches for the light.
I tend tiny candles
and listen for the lonely fire
of Coltrane’s sax.

I’m a nun and
a Thelonious Monk.
We run an inn for weary and lost travelers.
We build hospitals to cure the infirm;
and schools to teach the golden rule of love.
We try to do things differently.

Dizzy practiced the Behai faith.

“OOM BOP SHE BAM” I pray.

Music Selection:
Dizzy Gillespie,
Swing Low Sweet Cadillac

jbm
Oakland
12/26/98
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2019
.the industrial age is over... i sometimes forget when the middle-ground was made into a sentence... the antichrist, or the demigod son of Hephaestus... the satanic push... to lever the molten iron: over... salt / silicon mines! gears up! industry and the satanic industries... perhaps... just... perhaps... now softcore industry of: etertainment rubrics... sewn underwear from the genesis that they were always going to be: export, MADE IN CHINA... this... grand ideal... but coming along with my bucket and spades... i knew that already, come 1994 in st. augustine's primary school... i had the sponge ****** mind ready to slurp the bubbles of ferocity sally scandals... post-soviety ex-satellite state civi? quasimodo was always going to give me the thumbs up... but when the bells rang... they started ringing for no injunction of a need to 'en masse'... there was a fire... a quiet innocent fire... but all the fingers started pointing...

politics, this most feral sport...
perhaps... "ars politico"?
the art of politics?

right now... boxing seems like a civil sport...
perhaps the damage is not written well
into the events...
but at least the audience is tamed...
probably by bets...
or other forms of decorum...
but in this sport of rhetoric?
in politics?
i don't see how... i don't see how i can
ooh and ah like a douglas murray...
although i'm a big fun of...
almost every homosexual talking...
it's like... that one aspect of ******...
i would have: if i could have...
not have a *******...

said sir lancelot onan jr....:
i have never met a woman...
who could... hand-job / ****-me-off
a prince william better than i...
it's a sad truth when you come across
specimens of women who only known
how to YANK and never... DOODLE
the phallus... with the ******* still
intact...
and *** and *** is just a ******* formality...

darwinism is the modern reinvention
of the copernican ooh-ah!
if copernicus did so: as an "independent"...
Galileo came along with his
mighty telescope... and the martyr's cushioned
seat... while some Greek...
to "us": unknown...

******* is older than beer...
that's my habit...
i look at women in "niqabs" performing
these lolly-pop acts...
and all i see is the niqab...
ninjas of islam mothers of the true believers...
is there something wrong in...
watching others pleasure themselves...
now: **** would be wrong...
if... i somehow managed a proud richie
if... it were... a woman being skinned...
if it was a circumcision of man's phallus...
performed by an iron maiden
gimmick ***...
then i'd be worried...

like that sound-proof of: you're not
in the company of a psychopath...
when someone yawns... you yawn with them...

ostrowiec swietokrzyski is a forgotten town,
once the allure of metallurgy...
because rust belt only happens in
h'america... because the mines only close down
in england... these people were also:
people of the metal...
western europeans "think" that we
moved... because... m'eh...
your metallurgy meccas closed...
ours... "ours"... didn't?!

darwin is the modern version of
medieval copernicus...
and i'm pretty ******* sure...
the ancient greeks, in their childish solipsism...
had a quasi-darwin to begin with...

i'm tired of hearing this worth of ****:
there's not enough toilet paper
to match up with the 111 of wiping your ***
with the index, middle and ring finger's
worth of: grafitti!

but at least boxing is a sport that still
demands a variant of ethics...
there's gloating prior...
but catch a skiving ******* gloating
after... doktor dentist herr sadist is...
waiting... parlor no. 2...
you can simply hear a faint grip
of the christmas carol he's singing...
'i'll hang you on a noose of
poor's joe's intestines i dissected:
** ** **...'
you get the idea where no jokes
comes from?

no sport ethic teaches the contestants
to gloat... to gloat is to be fat...
to be a glutton... no one likes...
people gloating after the facts...
like no one is expecting to hear much
about: the heliocentric contra the geocentric
argument...

i beg to disagree... people have a hand
in endearing the geocentric argument...
in the anglophonic realm...
what have we not heard of in the past
2 years beside brexit, trump?
so... there's a heliocentric model...
that's working? or aren't we still
left liberated by a geocentric model of
the now and the in-between?!

last time i chanced the argument...
nothing "west" of mars...
perhaps "north" of jupiter...
again: what's the copernican "west"...
what's the copernican "east"?
i'm still a ***** ******* remnant
of ****** pact VARSUS... aren't i?
warsaw pact...
and so i am:
i am in england for no "apparent" reason...
the metallurgy advent of europe
ended... even under the soviet
umbrella you were... "influenced"...
only western europe gets to: bemoan?
begrudge?! nostalgia riddle itself an et off?!

- you can watch any other sport
and find less "grief" in it...

tennis! what is tennis willing outside
of politics?
the captivated audience...
esp. with the prime-minister's
q&a...

in football... any interference from
the crowd...
summary? a clause is passed...
pencil & paper muscles are flexed...
law comes into: from sleepy /
sheepish demands: a reality to abide
by, goal poasts are moved...

perhaps that's why boxing is a mythological sport...
it doesn't matter that the art... the sport...
doesn't take into consideration
the entire body... and even if the rules
"suggest" that the upper body canvas
is involved...
the boxing remains true:
as truth said: the interaction between
two fists, the head and a car crash
bound to some later... "investement"...

but at least boxing is a sport of pristine quality...
it can be celebrated...
with a fictive outlet...
the audience is involved but only involved
as a dasein: being there...
politics? i vote...
but i'm hardly ever going to fathom
being in parliament...

oh mein nett gott...
where is tennis and my tennis *****?
that game of: 7 rectangles...
and... at most... 11 referees...
and about 6 ball boys / girls...

ludo politico... this most feral sport...
come to think of it...
there's not much to think of...
but beside the sulking and the gloating...

once upon a time so abstract...
so abstract as there is nothing to abstract with

to exercise a will for the existence of a body...
beside having to justify talking
by simply thinking...

darwinism really has shaped events
of historical consideration to fill up the calendar...
that no amount of copernican gluttony and
gloating could ever surpass...

what was once intelligenstia vogue back
in the 15th century... via copernicus...
is once more intelligenstia vogue in this:
what year are we in?
darwin... darwinism outside of the anglosphere
of *******-tick-tock-******* is...
yet another frictive detail that acts
like sandpaper when attempted to fit into
a jean pocket of events...

it's rough around the edges...
and all this ontological borrowing from ape,
from lion, this ontological borrowing from
ants from... this microscope inside
a telescope... and otherwise... inverted...

i'm at the end of my road...
a most fractured example of what could
possibly be deemed human...
annals of worthwhile autobiographies
my ***...
merry christmas my ***...
this celebration is a bit of a *******-whipping...
i might as well die tomorrow and know
that only one man existed in all of history...
hardly a reason to curl into a foetus pose
a shadow and start biting into a corner
like some mouse for the celebration
of the birth of Leibniz or Kant...
nonetheless...

i am to celebrate... something that's
either a bad-*******-riddle-of-ad-nauseam...

or... how i'm the only person who would say:
you know they unearthed the nag hammadi
library back in 1945... and there's a correlation...
with the history of the jewish revolt against
the romans... written by an "integrated jew"...
a josephus ben matthias...
and how... that doesn't even matter?
because jesus wasn't playing
chinese whispers in the gospel of st. thomas...
and this is all just fine, fine; fine!

to celebrate a "birth" is to also...
make this "life"... what it is... "life" something only worth
the margins and minor notations...

what is relevant when cf. (comparing)
darwin to copernicus?
the awe fantasy ridden vogue of intellect,
the: darwinism is a square box that can fit
itself into any empty lodge of parchement...
a square can fit through a triangular shaped
hole... darwinism can...
be all and end all...
we don't need any continental
existential complexity... we do not need
any 20th century existential ontology...
as long as we have... an explanation readied
via darwinism... a simple 1 + 1 = 2...

i, robot; you - don't care...

Kant is still holding the spot for: bachelor of the year...
215th year coming...
Kierkegaard is a shy second...
but Kant is something akin to
what the Muhammedians would call...
the unison of all five...
the Shahadah is the categorical imperative...
Salat: to think is to pray...
Zakat: to not speak is to give alms...
Sawm: to not think about food is to fast...
(or keeping the motto...
i eat to live... i don't live to eat)
Hajj: ha ha! Paris! or... to go where you're
supposed to be...
rather than... expect others for you to be at...
to not be a tourist! a hajj implies:
be not a tourist! expect to be made unwelcome...
come with a purpose...
that deviates from the purpose of
a stated origin to be made purposive
by you going there!
hajj! don't be a tourist!

i have always found some relief in Islam...
like any Romford bound lad...
Ronnie O'Sullivan...
christianity? not after having unearthed
the nag hammadi library...
not after the words have remained
coincidental... not after 1945...
not after WHERE the nag hammadi library was found...
not after the powers-at-be
attempted to "confuse" / hide the nag hammadi
library as a distinct yet: simultanoeus event
coinciding with the dead sea scrolls...
not after the each quwaitii became a oil rich
baron sheikh... not became the pakistanis
and the bangladeshi decided: **** it working
slave hours in Dubai...

Lawrence of Arabia citation of Islam...
i will fake it... the christianity...
but i doubt to ever have a pillow to lie on...
i am pretty sure i will not make it...
i know the allure of islam...
i know the allure of islam when...
if only some genuine friend of this faith came
across me... before that farce of a friend
worth the psychopath's lying ferret's woo
of an Egyptian... with time:
no... no! no healing!

Islam is younger... christianity is...
how many schisms?
prune, pseudo-buddhist...
catholic, protestant... unitarian...
bishopric baptist... calvinist...
it's a... monotheism...
but... given the many splinters?
i find it improbable to not treat it as a...
polytheism... how many times are most kind sirs
going to divide the ******* loaf?!
until we're no longer even eating crumbs?!

christianity to me is a polytheism:
given the number of times it has divided itself up!
it's a cancer growth spectacular, al fresco!
i can only thank the protestants for this...
poly-divison...
after all... there was only one schism in islam...
and that's the allure!
because i am neither: Iraqi prone...
Iranian il allahu blah blah blahlah ural "who who"...

skin? or tattoo?
i have seen christianity die...
no one wants to talk of the nag hammadi library,
honestly... this is a ******* major event!
the media contest: the unearthing of
the dead sea scrolls is a synonym:
of an event that doesn't even happen...
the dead sea scrolls is an event relating
the death of the prophet Isaiah...
being disemboweled... being a courtesan...
guess what!
if no one is going to be ghost-forsaken
and salted-soul honest!
irish proud etc.! guess what...
like unto like: do as they do!

plus all this anglosphere wet-***** darwinism...
how the ****, did darwinism just hijack all
the arms of the humanities...
everything has to be explained with darwinism...
good! because if every cul de sac of life
was to be explained using copernicus...
imagine!

not even newton is a celebrated
scientist these days...
not even michael faraday...
but darwin is!
everything has to come down to
a darwinism - a branch of darwinism...
there's only one narrative:
a biological / psychological narrative...
how could a mythology surround
a Herr Faust / a Pan Twardowski...

england skipped the myth of the chemist...
the alchemist:
sure... william "Christopher Marlowe" shakespeare
tried to "catch-up"...
the english imagination was lost to king
arthur and the glories of:
being conquered by Rome...
of having been part of an ancient history...
last time i checked... us central europeans...
the germans, the goths, the vandals, the aesti...
the great migration types from the Causcus...
we... we didn't share the bounty of this history...
we're again: the barbarians at the gates...
us, slaves... with this sound-encoding and our
own distinctions: our caron S and caron C...
to sneak-in the tetragrammaton...

and who are, the Italiano?
do the Italians even recognise ancient Rome?
do the English truly recognise the...
what's that artifact... the Stonehenge?
ha! ha ha ha ha!
by joke alone...

darwinism's plague on everything cultural!
everything has to be a reminder of:
genes! gene narratives!
everything has to become a propability
gambit! everything has to be sacrificed upon
quasi-religious statements of: why you should,
rather than: why you shouldn't be feeling
so ******* grateful for a per se...

to me... darwinism is... a neo-copernicanism...
a stylish vogue rhetoric...
you can wear darwinism in the 19th to the mid 21st century...
afterwards? it's just a timid burn on the brain
to have to "argue" trans-generational
sensibility patterns of being the labelled:
made in western liberal free "ouch" spice society...

i can side with islam on two grounds...
who were the janissaries?
Murad I would have retorted:
who were the Jesuits?
if not by foundation, the hands of Ignatius of Loyola?
when who were the Mamluks?
my western neighbors love to...
designate my grand ethnic "etymology"
within the framework of the eaten E...
i.e. a slav(e)...

why would i side... with this... variant...
this... "variant" of "christianity"...
for a ******* carol-song-***-by-*******-yah
hard-on quest?!
you heard them...
old saxons vs. new blut saxons in
an orchestra of zeppelins hanging over london!
or... the lagoon as i like to call it...

check you "history" your etymology...
oh... because "they" would correct "misunderstood"
etymology... with a counter:
akin to the ethnonym -
loan words baron!
it's just "a missing E"...

it's still mainstream darwinism...
i imagine the years under the Polish-Lithuanian
commonwealth...
the Ukranians must have been like...
enough! enough of this Copernicus ******* already!
Ave Khmelnitsky!

after all... copernicus was right...
the sun does not move around the earth...
the earth moves around the sun...
copernicus was right... we were wrong...
the earth moves around the sun...
but... the affairs of the sun...
are not... the affairs of the earth...
and those... bound... to inhabit it...
the sun is important...
but... soap opera triviality is...
somehow... more... important...
drama of the callous nature of man...
is... more than... the vacuum riddle bundle
of billions of years is...
with its... mere H-to-He exchange of gaseous
bundle warmth...

one thing that governs my cruelty toward
how darwinism is exploited to fit
every ******* crevice of everyday life...
that one's: its supposed universality...

but then... this trans-genus trans-species
"comparative literature"...
it's not enough to be imitating ape...
again: which ape?
the chimp alone? the gorilla?
the ******* macaque?
why would i devolve...
having the body of a gorilla?
a gorilla could wrestle a lion to the death...
i, albino quasi gremlin bonkers IQ...
get to... pet a bonsai tiger!
yay!

two things went wrong when it came
to... "people, thinking"...
vogue ideas...
the copernican revolution...
and the... revolution of darwinism...
oh we can forget about marx...
we all know what was wrong about that...
i'm pretty sure some greek knew that already...
but we're stalling...
for **** know's what...
since: not being vular by now is not going
to help the "clarification of verbiage
over civilised tea and scones later" either...

if only these darwinist concentrated on
the source material...
but... to throw into this "existentialism"
a mix of peering with scrutiny at an ant colony...
at bacteria... at tapeworms...
and... somehow... being...
once more... the center of the universe...
of analytical diarrhoea?
in a heliocentric schematic?
**** me... are you sure...
this heliocentric argumentation was only so good...
as good as... when you didn't have to
navigate a west and an east...
on a map...
going through the Rhine valley...
via Antwerp... via Essen...
via Dortmund on the autobahn?

again... what's a copernican "east"?!
After most recent shower,
and particularly washing hair
(then shaking head
analogous to sopping wet dog
drying her/himself after a bath),
I immediately said helloo
to Long lasting fragrance Suave
essentials Daily Clarifying
Deep cleansing Shampoo,
which permeated mine scalp
facilitating healthy follicles.

More so frothy lather upon noggin
after getting rinsed out
yielded bounteous, luscious, luxurious,
and marvelous full bodied tresses
reminiscent when yours truly an adolescent,
a veritable long haired pencil necked geek
whose hirsute trademark
still characterizes atypical sexagenarian
above mentioned characteristic
still (after scores of years)
emblematic of this enigmatic poetaster.

Ever since being in utero
soon after seminal fusion
insync with fallopian tube bearing ova
begot zygote courtesy said gametes,
and engendered silent boom
after piercing zona pellucida
creating microscopic flume,
nevertheless collection of cells
coalescing into embryo
eventually manifesting into yours truly,

I painstakingly took minuscule
comb and brush to groom,
and dreaded most fearfully being locked,
where pair of outsize scissors did loom
threatening to cut thick,
what could best be envisioned analogous
to imperceptible fancy plume
hich features specific feature
drew medical community
(i.e. namely human reproductive specialists)

constituted extensive expanse
within blastocyst very limited room
crowd sourcing out rivaling curious onlookers
formerly geared up
to espy King Tutankhamun's tomb
can you dear reader believe
a hairy globule within the womb
became global attraction
viz - of a young fecund Harriet Harris,
cuz about nine months later
out the birth canal I did zoom.
a minor typo found this fanatic spell binding hound to resend a poem dashed off in a huff (past the hour) if nothing else than fur his peace of bot tee, mind. Thus this Norwegian bachelor wannabe (most closely aligned with said status closely attained unmarried state by pledging my Unitarian troth)  tilled, sown, and furrowed spirit nsync with the missus sleeping in close proximity.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

dog tired this day - march 29th, 2018

no matter this dawg gone pup
     took numerous one after another cat nap
his utterly fatigued
     body electric still ragged
     as if he went without sleep for a lifetime,
     ensnared within a time warp,

     espied that aggravating "aw SNAP"
(error code instead of a webpage
     indicating Chrome happens to be
     experiencing problems loading)
     or, simultaneously
     caught in a narcoleptic parent trap

thus, while a burst of energy
     temporarily doth prevail
(a priori which extreme fatigue
     of body, mind and spirit -

     more troublesome, and worse than -
     getting crucified
     with a rusty nine inch nail
alleviated with deep sleep finds

     much more tiredness
     than usual quotidian sleepiness
     bruiting this male)
     being imprisoned (for high

     gram matt tick crimes
    and misdemeanors) such as: comma, splices,
     dangling a modifier, splitting an infinitive,
     unnecessary parenthesis (), et cetera

     which landed me punctually,
     proverbially, and squarely
     in the slaammed shut jail
fed thin gruel with grubs that didst flail
nauseating pluperfect revulsion
     each time hide exhale

which, many hours long rests did restore
for a bit of time only for totally tubular
      exhaustion to come roar
ring back leaving me tour
     charred as if...i fought in every major war.
(a lighter piece sup *** wit tree)

'm, oh yes mud hum,
     who hoop fully iz zaftig
and/or mister
     Jack Rabbit, whoever wig
gulls or crinkles their nose
     creating a lil whirligig
at this bit of flummery unrig
yule lated impossible

     to make cogent
     and/or tangential with trig
perhaps best red
     after taking a swig
of vintage carrot juice with a sprig
of favorite herb, more'n enough
     to slake thirsting herd
     at the yearly

     Peter Rabbit shindig,
which senseless literary rig
ma roll even Bugs Bunny
     trump petting donned Taj Mahal
     swiftly tailored hare
     reed styled periwig,

     (would turnip his nose),
     button size or overbig,
yet all Joe King aside,
     and please do not think me a ****
excepting (Trix are for kids, eh...?)

this intentional faux paw, an
distress signal tis ideally geared
     for a Unitarian
     herbalist hook can
transform this pro
     fessed human imposter,
     (who in truth got cursed
     as a **** sapien

     by Bunny Foo Foo with elan)
particularly in the guise of Han
nub bull the cannibal,
     (whose unisexual name Jan)
also doubles up

     as my birth month
     dwells in Lan
zing, Michigan, and earns
     keeps employed as a nan

knee, yet experiences inner pan
dumb moan he yum,
     (seized with grippe to dig
     in Farmer Brown's garden), and ran
like the dickens
     all the way to Tran
sill vane ya leaping
     across Atlantic Ocean forced
     to adopt the lifestyle of a Van
dull with razor sharp buck teeth.
EXTRA…EXTRA…REED…ALL…ABOUT…ME!

Well versed in procrastination set me on trajectory -
   for this buck - became an Eros Hubble ace
at letting anxiety stew and fester,
   whereat family and classmates solicited to brace
didst inculcate within me the major component
   Wherefore art thou' Romeo,
   the psychic monkey did survey then chase
the tan man hat coursing around
   neurological mulberry bush, an imprimatur no erase
sing could rid, thus even to this very instant
   repercussions from adolescence i still face
with grim determination to avoid engendering
   a psychological bottleneck a slick grace

note herewith attempts to sound off
   self induced imprecation finds me bing stabbed with ice
sic culls Merck cure chrome-plated metallic
    like ****** sharp daggers on par with razor teeth of mice
which jagged piercing sensations
   invisibly punctuate the psyche, thus equals existential price
paid in countless non GMO grains of Uncle Sam’s
   unconverted nonestablishmentarian Unitarian rice
unseasoned, but naturally adequately salty
   appeasing cleft chin, and sub-mucous cleft palate spice
to perfection since Michelin hired famous chefs
   (nano size implanted integrated circuit) could twice

as fast whip up any concoction immediately
   envisioned by robots yours truly archetypes did design
initially to help me cope viz The Idler Wheel
   Is Wiser than the Driver of the ***** and Whipping fine
Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes
   Will Ever Do - or more succinctly mental illness - cut a line
visibly evident when electro cardiogram
   administered evincing a sight
   for sore eyes - gray matter mine
practically pock marked and cratered with more than...
   oh my dog, the total pits greater than sixty-nine
exacerbated without doubt from atomic structure
   comprising this bloke kin son ova bit chin with sign

of evident bio-chemical deficiency, hence necessity
   for pharmacopeia of meds doc severson did assign
who drummed up this cocktail after numerous trials
   and errors reflected via spastic behavior when dine
ing with family, friends or neighbors,
   one acquaintance ranked
   as the top notch British Nottingham ensign
or so this poet with a schizoid disorder
   firmly believed asper thyself
   anything touched became mine
yea...akin to the patterns associate with toddlerhood,
   which at the age of LVIII did not serve to wax nor shine
as a salient trait, yet reality thru these
   myopic brown eyes sensed paranoia
   with a posse intent to ent twine

me from head to iambic foot, which crowdsource
   programmed by Donald trump who implanted an integrated bit
sans latest state of the art re: lob bot tummy
   without major risk imposed on cerebral cortex - a custom fit
grown from stem cells within said person
   undergoing quick permanent fix -
   so as to curtain quarks quite hit
tee us - and essentially this medical break through
   allowed, enable and provided and immediate end to kit
a tonic state, when of a sudden, an afflicted individual
   would mew, or burst out reciting pages of great lit
er a chore, though only chancing to hear
   horse hay renown masterpiece juiced one time recall ad mitt
ted lee quite amazing (perhaps one positive outcome
   duff furring tasks) with many a severe ache in the pit
of abdomen. whereby physiological symptom
   until a small number of wink'n, blink'n and nod would not quit
thus the reason - without rhyme hive felt inclined
   hurriedly swiftly Taylor and sty lushly hare reed writ.
Upon reflecting with misty eyes
childhood days of yore
the mantle of anticipatory
excitement mantle I wore
upon advent of December
twenty fifth not quite threescore

years ago knew nothing
about being dirt poor
yours truly doggedly felt sense
of belonging among k9 korp
versus moody blues hangdog
look resembling Eeyore.

Now fast forward envisioning
gray bewhiskered scraggly
muttering old Unitarian
that would be yours truly courtesy
hyperbole as would be obvious
upon quick visual scan,
who dabbles writing

at least one poem within
twenty four hour
time frame i.e. quotidian
basis, eh not
so much an outdoorsman
these days and definitely not,
nor ever trumpeted
taps as militiaman

within the ranks of Kublai Khan
emperor of China, and
grandson of Genghis Khan
I remain holed up within
one bedroom apartment
unit b44 as iceman,
no, not by choice,
but series of unfortunate events
primarily faulty heater

at the mercy of fate,
a mere dice toss gameplan
always associated as separate
among establishmentarian
forever dreamily fancying
married to countrywoman,

combination platter academician.
Lo and behold days
mein kampf slipped and slid away
leaving faded memories
precious young lad oft times
felt alienated (think) castaway

yet simultaneously unable to flyaway
loosing self from mother's apron strings,
while slipping grip signals foray
into abyss conjured courtesy
thru information superhighway.

Reflection upon tempus fugit
incredulous kick **** lightspeed
precocious age sentimental reverie storybook
happy go lucky idyllic past indeed,
then bound by ignorance,
hence blissfulness no longer doth proceed.
No Holiday music can soothe savage beast
washboard abdomen weight watcher's dream fleeced
skinny bag of lovely bones permanently leased
body snatcher somewhere amidst policed

madding crowd of carolers singing,
where mine sinking spirits ceased
rising today December 18th, 2020
analogous how unleavened bread
(i.e. matzo) lacks yeast.

I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze

soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted fat grows
on me, no matter healthy diet
of worms, or how I stand,
not so easy (Etsy) as add a pose

zing losing battle – Mary Jo's
if and geeze us of bulge ill flattering
particularly quiverly, sans white
"WALL" tire tread fully goes
steely belted around lower
abdominal area like lava floes

siring unsightly expose
yore squishy Jew dish priestly
punchy, plasma paunchy, gristly...
pillow like marshmallows
fittingly, rotundly soundly
identical with other schlep

tin (tin tabulation) grungy hobos,
this lap ****** lard (lord) Who Lee
bemoaning, how ilk readily knows,
where unwanted bulky flab...
most detested - hence Corp Yule Lance
leaves noth thin to noblesse oblige,

know bull eats obese,
anorexia nervosa or chance
barking out orders reminiscent, when he
hapt tubby a caller wannabe at
weekly square and/or contra dance,
now requisitioned to insulate

and excessively enhance
body electric can be mushed
into likeness of fleshy France
or repurposed into expanse
resembling any country,

whose name Kants
be easily pronounced, and historical
events glommed together recognizable
as Ataturk with a lance
bequeathed to rule World advance

sing gluttony as his divine providence,
thus requires deep dish allegiance
(non - fiber - binding contract)
for eats and make decadent
every fleshpot gourmand
stretching consumer cellular
skein to capacitance

bestowing guaranteed deliverance
with their rolling
ballooning massive circumference
into orbit with Earthly moon officiant
eternal fondue irrelevance!
Yours truly classified as rebel
after accessing https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/.

I thank Renée J. Cardone
affiliated with Spring Ford, Pennsylvania
telehealth services mental health therapist
courtesy doxy.me web portal
not quite twenty four hours ago
February eighth, 2021
informing me about above link.

After completing the questionnaire
the results revealed my tendency
as initially iterated trending toward Rebel
albeit eloquent, which means
according to author the following:

1. I resist all expectations,
both inner* and outer* alike,
and choose to act from a sense of choice
of freedom. Upon waking up
first thing in the morning, I think,
What do I want to do today.

2. I work toward personal goals in my own way,
and refuse to do what I am "supposed" to do,
I accomplish my own aims.

3. I can anything I choose to do,
and seek to live my own identity and values.

4. I resist control, even self control,
and usually enjoy flouting
rules and regulations.

Antiestablishmentarian moniker in one word
best describes my general dogma and ethos.

Unitarian universalist credo,
(not necessarily considered
actual religion perse)
gently did buzzfeed me.

Dad (more'n two and a half score years ago)
drove our family
(myself, mother and two non twisted sisters)
to Main Line Unitarian Church
816 South Valley Forge Road
Devon, Pennsylvania 19333.

One impressionable little boy
named Matthew Scott Harris
though of Jewish legacy
considers himself a goy,
yet his Semitism not obvious
as he mingles among hoi polloi.

Though comfortably affiliated
with above democratic
and universalistic paradigm,
I do not attend regular services
though of late yours truly
linkedin (courtesy zoom)
with Cherry Hill,
New Jersey fellowship.

Tenets promulgated courtesy Thomas Paine
an English-American writer
and political pamphleteer
born February 9, 1737
within Thetford United Kingdom,
thus I doff figurative hat
regarding happy 284th birthday
and died June 8th, 1809.

His Common Sense booklet,
(a 47-page pamphlet)
plus 16 "Crisis" papers,
(which appeared within Colonial America
between 1776 and 1783)
heavily influenced American Revolution.

Dissemination of radical
anti British polemics
(amidst fledgling contiguous
thirteen English entities)
spread like wildfire among
unfederated disparate states

inculcated subsequent generations
nsync with purported founding fathers
to enshrine constitutional amendments
allowing, enabling, honoring
and providing freedom
to experience life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness.

inner expectations = objectives focused around ourselves.

** outer expectations = assignments to appease other people.
EXTRA…EXTRA…REED…ALL…ABOUT…ME!
Deep lore a bull red basket case
Well versed in procrastination set me on trajectory -    
for this buck minister fuller of himself tube became
an Eros Hubble ace letting anxiety stew and fester,    
whereat family and classmates solicited to brace
didst inculcate within me major component  
  
Wherefore art thou' Romeo, the surveyed psychic monkey
did chase the tan man hat coursing around    
neurological mulberry bush,
an imprimatur no erase sing could rid,
thus even to this very instant    

repercussions from adolescence i still face
with grim determination to avoid engendering    
psychological bottleneck, a slick grace note
herewith attempts to sound off    
self induced imprecation finds me
bing stabbed with ice sic culls

Merck cure chrome-plated metallic    
like ****** sharp daggers on par with
trent shant razor teeth of mice which,
jagged piercing sensations invisibly punctuate psyche,

thus equals existential price paid in countless
non GMO grains of Uncle Sam’s    
unconverted nonestablishmentarian Unitarian rice
unseasoned, but naturally adequately salty    
appeasing cleft chin, and sub-mucous cleft palate
spice girls sin men to perfection

since Michelin hired famous chefs    
(nano size implanted integrated circuit),
could twice as fast whip up concoction
immediately envisioned by robots yours truly archetypes
did designinitially help me cope viz

The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping fine Cords Will Serve You
More than Ropes Will Ever Do, or more succinctly mental illness -
cut a line visibly evident when electro cardiogram    
administered evincing sight for sore eyes -

gray matter practically totally tubularly pock marked,
and cratered with more than...oh my dog, the total pits
greater than sixty-nine exacerbated without doubt

from atomic structure comprising
this bloke kin son ova bit chin with sign
of evident bio-chemical deficiency, hence necessity  
for pharmacopeia meds doc severson did assign,

who drummed up cocktail after numerous trials    
and errors reflected spastic behavior,
when dining with family, friends or neighbors,    
one acquaintance ranked as top notch British Nottingham ensign  
so this poet with schizoid disorder firmly believed

asper thyself anything touched became mine yea...
akin to patterns associate with toddlerhood,    
which at the age of LVIII did not serve
to wax nor shine as salient trait,

yet reality thru myopic brown eyes
sensed paranoia with posse to ent twine
from head to iambic foot, which crowdsource    
programmed by Donald trump,
who implanted an integrated bit, sans latest state of the art
re: lob bot tummy without major risk
imposed on cerebral cortex -

custom fit grown from stem cells within said person    
undergoing quick permanent fix -    
so as to curtail quarks quite hit tee us -
if espied iron (maiden china) curtain,

and essentially this medical break through    
allowed, enable,  provided and immediate end
to kit a tonic state, when of a sudden,
an afflicted individual, would mew,

or burst out reciting pages of great lit er a chore,
though only chancing to hear    
horse hay renown masterpiece juiced one time
recall ad mitt ted lee quite amazing

(perhaps positive outcome duff furring tasks)
with many a severe ache in the pit of abdomen.
whereby physiological symptom until small number of wink'n,
blink'n and nod would not quit

thus reason without rhyme hive felt inclined    
hurriedly, swiftly Tay lord, and sty lushly
hare reed rote this habeas corpus writ.
Yours truly just a fluke of the universe
worming his way hook, line and sinker
thru the meandering time stream,
which current speeds up the older I get.

A garden variety (generic) agrarian wannabe
antiauthoritarian, bookish antiquarian bloke,
antitotalitarian, well mannered barbarian
disestablishmentarian, egalitarian, futilitarian,
grammarian, quasi hereditarian, latitudinarian,
libertarian, majoritarian, nonsectarian,
nonvegetarian, proletarian, sexagenarian,
Unitarian.

Yours truly amazingly
chronologically, enigmatically,
gracefully, interminably weathered
despite malevolent mental maelstrom,
linkedin with extinction of **** sapiens
in tandem with many flora and fauna
populating planet Earth
courtesy Manhattan Project
when Ernest Rutherford split the atom.

Fiendish and gruesome
phantasmagoric denizens
dwell deep inside subterranean vault
perform an evil dance
haunt psychic landscape
with imaginary (yet realistic)
gargoyle visitations cast macabre trance
nocturnal unconscious invaders
cavort and gallivant
disturb quiescent sleep with
devilish and sinister prance.

Apparitions crept stealthily
into peaceful slumber receptacle
repository whence illusory
landscape of dreams
take place to rejuvenate exhausted
body, mind and spirit triage
rent asunder blissful sleep
with a startled fright
cold sweat drenched
nighttime garments and bedding
teeth chattered uncontrollably
heart pounded loudly inside chest
nightmarish phantoms wrought
an awful ghoulish sight.

Mushroom cloud anniversary
triggered frenzied gargantuan hallucination
since 6 August 1945, at 08:15
inauguration into atomic age took place
one country after another sought
to acquire demonic and destruction devices
maintain self-preservation in
surreal atomic weapons race
impossible to escape the dark threat
that looms and threatens life on Earth
one launched missile spells extermination
across entire global space.

No escape from humankind military machines
munitions march mean madness
and guaranteed demise to all life
**** Sapiens violent history of
bias, intolerance and/or prejudice
characterizes vicious warfare
and chronic species strife
unaffordable legacy for future,
(and perhaps alien) archeologists
who will sift thru civilization debris
with delicate knife.

Artifacts buried in heap of pulverized
and radioactive ash
civilization monuments
and hedonistic symbols
gone in a blinding brilliant flash
irksome flotsam and jetsam
spewed into outer space
alien nations light years distant
collect miniscule bits and pieces
offer object lesson as extinction
for beings that become excessively brash.
Vladimir Putin itching
to loose nuclear bomb
end of the world scenario ofttimes
iterated throughout history
though an atheist (actually Unitarian),
no doubt this, that or another psalm
countless times the Bible
references Armageddon and doomsday
impossible mission to remain
cool, collected and calm.

Whether affiliated with donkey or elephant
Democrat or Republican viz
blue war red respectively
political hot issues don't amount
to a (Sam) hill of beans
when Sword of Damocles count
approaches zero hour
as global tensions mount

signaling increased chance
trigger finger will free
avast nuclear winter
(across world wide web) re:
leasing plethora, pyrocumulus
mushroom clouds tree

mend us planetary explosions
annihilating webbed wide
world, an irrevocable
indeed earthlinked debacle
spelling widespread species
multitudinous extinction
ex post de facto after super
bowling powers (wannabe) vied

to wrest empowerment spanning
entire realm sans third rock
from the father, sun and holy ghost,
who turned substantial pock
kits of flora and fauna
once populating oblate spheroid ad hoc

significant swaths of life forms
pulverized and/or turned to ash
transformed into radioactive wasteland
after war mongers brash
lee usurped hegemony
(ruling inhabitants
of Gaia with an iron fist
with a smidgen of flavoring
courtesy of Missus Dash

superfluous taste enhancer,
when sibling burnt offering views
between Venus and Mars incendiary
tolled mourning news
smithereens sole remnant
poisoned every square inch
from weapon of mass destruction

that did cruise
engendering thick noxious fog
disabling fox but not cockroach
while smoldering seas and continents
skull and crossbones didst poach
amidst the gasified, liquified, pureed
where holographic ghoulish super bowl coach

rendering lifelessness home for menagerie
where virtue trounced vice as organisms
(particularly one primate) didst try
(predominant 21st century simians)
tool heave with amity, comity, and empathy
animals and plants an experiment
that went awry

presaging a nuclear winter with nary a winner
implicating mankind as the absolute sinner
instantaneously after Doomsday Clock
signaled point of no return
where grim reaper the sole grinner.
(Reigns A Welter Of Disorder)

Caravans comprising multitudinous
     peoples plodded a steady course
analogous to iron filings drawn by
     strong magnetic force
gravitational pull generated

     by North America
     an irresistible source,
which tug felt
     nearly all the way round
     webbed wide world beckoning

     for waves of humanity
figuratively donned as spawning fish,
toward which currently dimming
     beacon of democracy flickr
     Trump might extinguish

though tis quite heart
     breaking to experience
vicariously as one collective soul,
     these desperate folks
ambitious to seek asylum,

     (and eventual citizenship),
     while this "FAKE" president
     invents many a...holy SMOKES
outrageous, nefarious, and malicious
     dagger o type cruel barbed wire

accusing, condemning, and emasculating,
     (I could continue),
     but ye dear reader would tire
unless individuals
     affected by xenophobia

     countenance same stance
     as Commander in Chief,
     or contrariwise some
     like minded
     thinkers, rack **** sitter
the migrant situation dire,

     would effectively serve me
     as preaching to
     the Unitarian choir,
yet any sensate
     person must admit
tis quite upsetting, lamenting,

     and agonizing to witness
     hordes of persons treated like
     some pestilential
     eyesore dagnabbit,
yes this chap can
     endlessly spout flibbertigibbet,

though thee crux of my opinion,
     inspires a poem express
     sing supportive emotions
     particularly acknowledging,
     how these masses (thousands)

     of vulnerable individuals
show true grit,
nonetheless yours truly,
     would be hard pressed
     for an immediate

     humane solution to corral
this extensive kit
and caboodle, though this generic guy
with a poetic knack
shakes his noggin

watching armed flack
delivered from border patrol agents/
United States military, lack
restraint, and who outright attack
trespassers at point

     blank range that pack,
a deadly (Judge Judy ish
     huss) punch smack
king young ones
     upside the head forcing

everyone to backtrack
to their homeland of
     persecution by crack
headed gang members, which thugs
     violently land a deadly whack!
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2022
i knew this was going to happen,
for three days i was beside myself after having met her
at work, the way she smiles...
she creases her face like someone might
crease a piece of paper...
there's nothing menacing about it...
but she does it in this most splendid of ways...

oh she went out of her way today,
she took out her earrings, she didn't have any
rings on her fingers...
i abhor any metallic additions to the body...
i esp. abhor earrings,
i esp. abhor rings on fingers...
i'm fine with a necklace...
but anything else is a massive turn off...
today i found that beside the hands being
the most ****** part of a woman's body...
closely second... are their ears...
and she's a petite girl... 5ft2...
when we finally said our goodbyes i only had
to wrap one hand around her to bear hug her...
we didn't kiss the cheeks upon meeting
so upon saying a long goodbye
i had to do it twice, before ******* off...

she said: between 5 and 6pm...
she first texted me: is it o.k. that we move it for 6pm?
sure... no problem...
so i ate a brilliant salmon teriyaki
noodles... tarted myself up...
the housework was already done,
i stocked up on whiskey for tomorrow:
Bolton Wanderers are apparently going
to be a rowdy bunch up in Oxford...
put on my butcher boy's cap...
dressed in my per usual attire of...
how did my ex's younger sister put it?
oh... 'Matt... he's always dressed in earthly colours'...
yep... anything brown, green,
i'll be wearing that...

         it's a good thing that i use my mobile
when i have access to the internet indoors...
and when outside? i only turn on mobile data
when i need to call someone,
otherwise i switch it off...
      i'm travelling... whether that's by car,
bicycle or merely walking...

she sent me a text...

   Matt i was fine til about 30mins ago... now i'm
doubled up with a belly ache (crying emoji face)
probably trapped wind (sad emoji face)
might have to put you off for an hr see if it subsides x


there's no hindsight with that...
i arrived five minutes prior to six pm...
bearing... the promised bottle of wine...
some banana loaf i made for her son:
at one point the dog was barking mad about sniffing
it out... she had to tell the dog off...
'no, it's not yours'...
and a bottle of Franziskeiner Weissbier for myself...
i asked to be topped up with a glass
of wine: my throat was getting dry...

she wasn't going to stall me...
oh, you want to know what teenage butterflies feels,
having them in your stomach?
it was silly of my to have felt them for
3 days after meeting you?
you're not getting off so easily...
if you have feelings for me?
you're going to feel them...

and she was all ready to begin with...
scented candles in the house, the house tidied up...
incense in the kitchen...

now i see the bigger picture...
women only love men by the women feel about
themselves around certain man...
i mean... i dated a 6ft girl once... but this one...
this pretty red-haired ****** has me all fired up...
and it now seems... she's reciprocating...
we're still at this nervous stage of out-thinking
each other...

but when she opened the door i could see...
ooh oh... something's up...
she tried to not be nervous...
i gave her my home-made wine in
a wine bottle from South Africa: Arabella...
i just sent her a link to a song
that inspired me: the Arctic Monkeys' song
of the same title...

i came at 6... left eleven minutes past 9pm...
she wanted me to stay longer,
but i said to her: and you know i have work
tomorrow... plus you said you came back
from work and Freddy came back from school
and you really haven't spoken to each other...
plus you just said you're going to run a bath...

my god, how she elevated her beauty without
donning any armour of rings and earrings...

yeah, i know there's a kid in the background...
that's why i brought the banana loaf with me
and i'm not thinking about sleeping with her...
i need to elevate the tension in her...
until she snaps...

          time... precious time...
and as he put a chair in the kitchen for me to sit on...
and as i watched her prepare a meal for her son...
my god... how happy she looked...
she played all the songs that spoke for her...
we exchanged a like for Dua Lipa and Mabel...
what?!
she danced, she laughed, she sang...
she has a beautiful voice...
she delighted me... with her new found happiness...

she danced, she laughed, she sang...
she almost looked like a teenager once more...
i just sat there before another face emerged
when my voice suddenly dropped lower
and became more husky...

come on, what are my options?
she has lost a few children along the way via miscarriage,
she only has this one boy,
i tell her: i'm the only child myself...
her older brother is living with his parents
and he's a bully,
i tell her: i'm rather ashamed of still living with
my parents, but i do all the cooking,
the cleaning and if the garden needs work...

she's super excited about having a hot tub...
i have a hot tub... not one of those inflatable types...

she illuminated her vinyl player today
when i sent her a photo of my rack with books
from the floor to the ceiling and a bunch
of vinyls: oh, you should have told me...
i would have brought a record over...
blah blah...

i don't know how 6pm turned into 9pm...
well... if the dog is barking mad about sniffing that banana
loaf... i hope the two of them will be as mad
about it as the dog...
but it's only fair... if i'm getting butterflies in my stomach
after initially meeting her...
she should feel some of that herself...
see if she likes it...

i didn't... we gently touched hands while she showed
me a book of pictures of old Romford...
i told her: i'll bring a copy of a book: similar
from where i was born... famous in the 20th century
for its metallurgy... all those metal poles
at that Paris stadium? they came from my hometown...

Edinburgh is as dear to my heart as Paris...
believe me... that city has ghosts...

it's such a perfect storm...
     she has her period pains and psychosis...
i've had my psychosis and ejaculations...
you know: mad meets mad...
all her past relationships were with violent
alcoholics... i'm a drinker that makes his own
wine... the only person i was ever violent to
when drinking? me... i put out cigarettes
butts on my knuckles when i say to myself:

ENOUGH, OF THE *******, BUTTERFLIES!
i need a higher experience...
none of all this mushy-mushy *******...
i need a penetrating sensation...
something that goes into the territory of
the nerves...

my god, how she danced, how she laughed, how she sang...
i'm pretty sure her son was like:
who's this guy that's making my mum
feel so good about herself?
she literally ran outside of the house
and started dancing in the garden...
yet all the while trying to stall me... ghost me...

no... i'm not having it... you're getting this wine,
you're getting this banana loaf: whether
you like it, or not...
i'm not going to drink it, i'm not going to eat it...
i really don't care about your past...
sure... you ****** up...
anyone who hasn't ****** up...
is about to **** up...
but, see... it's not like she's even remotely interested
in what i have to say...
she's so high on herself that i fall back...

why am i only child? well... you know... Chernobyl...
women in Poland had to drink iodine... blah blah...
she's not exactly interested in me...
i know that... because she's regained a focus
for being re-interested in herself...
she's found herself, once more,
but the self she found... oddly enough:
she didn't expect to be so young!

she looked like a teenage girl, she behaved like
a teenage girl...
   it's very lovely to see a woman nearing her 40s
behaving like she might be...
oh... i'd say in the range of 8 through to 14 years of age...
let's get real...
i'm not going to be looking for women in their
20s... all geared up for their anti-racist
black fascist ****** escapades...
o.k., darling: you do you...

                n'ah... i'm not having any of that crap...
give me a: cougar...
a puzzle-box of a woman...
let me see if i can fit it... into her life...
i don't do anti-racism...
after all... all the Jimmy Carr jokes wouldn't
be funny...
why would i want Jimmy Carr's jokes
to not be funny...
point blank reference... stand-up comedy:
the monologue approach to jokes
is a very English thing...

in Poland? you have satire... satire staged
within the confines of a... cabaret...
you have cabaret comedy...
which involves multiple actors...
rarely... almost never will you have
monologue stand-up comics...
stand-up comedy is an exclusively English
"thing"...

but the English are not really prone to
enjoy satire... beside... a newspaper comic strip...
that's about how much satire as
the English public entertains...
not to mention... "us", Polacks...
are a very self-deprecating people...
comedy is very self-deprecting...
but the people who enjoy it...
take themselves very seriously...
weird, no?
maybe because the theme of satire is only
allowed for political "concerns" and is never
made omnipresent in an English society...
bad translation...
everyday people can't be satirised in
the satire of everyday situations
for the simple reason that there has to be
a comedy sketch of: someone appearing / thinking
they're smarter than the other person...
therefore? the comedy of one...
rather than the satire of the many..

i.e. the situation is funny... therefore everyone is
in on the joke...
no... in England... this hyper-inflated gut *** of
emotions of non-feeling...
the personal joke is more important than
a shared joke... satire via the cabaret is of
the latter category... the former? eh... solipsism...
autism... whatever you want to call it...
it takes... a whole lot of specifics to get it right...
but stand-up comedy...
from what i've seen...
doesn't translate as well as you go further east...

a bit like THINKING... English people are too
pragmatic to think... in Europe: "thinking" is either
done by the French or the Germans...
pragmatic... egalitarian... unitarian...

ah... now i see why she was bothered about...
why i used G... instead of J when writing down
her name... the daughters of Job...
the other two were Keziah and Keren...
little dove...

and i subsequently sent her an explanation...
blah blah... well...
there's that... now i can return to drinking
and rubbing my hands together
like a fly.
Yours truly an aging baby boomer
long haired pencil necked geek
trademark disheveled characteristics
whipsawed ever faster around sun.

He (best buddy and alter ego of mine)
snapped, popped, and crackled
firstly his crown out ******
subsequently skinny arms and legs
(I'll spare ye the ****** graphics),
whence obstetrician able, eager, and
ready underscored with italics

to pronounce hosannas  
regarding garden variety
generic wrinkled newborn
emerging out birth canal
asthma noggin heralded
scrawny newborn, now celebrating lxiii
plus deux orbits around nearest star,
which birth sported an ordinary

uneventful, nonetheless miraculous
biological secrete heave reproductive tricks
immediately screaming
without assistance courtesy
Gran Prix (now pronounced as ******)

also envision Dolby surround sound
nsync with spastic kicks
'o mine straggly mostly
gangly lovely bones mox nix.

Within some nondescript building
named The Christ Hospital
location Mount Auburn
Cincinnati, Ohio
(the buckeye state)
record number C57587
gingerly handled courtesy
Doctor James Mackay McCord
(ushering none other than me
into the wide webbed world)
bestowed upon ***** of Harriet Harris,
thy young mother of prolonged labor
as his bony *** easily
slipped out uterine crypt,

whereby with Vernix
caseosa, the waxy or cheese
he appeared made rather dipped
in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped
minuscule fist ready to bump.

Once placenta and fetal membranes
(unnecessary as wing ding)
discharged out ******
after birth of offspring,
and thar weren't no more
major contractions in the offing
ma mommy lovingly did cling
to her bundle of joy and bring

maternal breast I ravenously
did suckle fortunately toothless
against her tender ***** trickling
(if mammary serves me correctly)
I presently recall no iota of inkling
what events transpired, nope
no recollection about me circumcising.

Moost likely I felt Jew bull lent
glad yours truly chose decent
mother and father, which opinion
subjected to radical change,
when as grown adult child
living nonsocial under

their roof forced to hire agent
provocateur to practice sparring,
when standoff event on horizon,
which eventually begat ultimatums
their red hot poker rage spent
belittling, cursing, damning...

quiet as Unitarian Church mouse content
internalizing later smoldering
anger I needed to vent
in retrospect diminutive little boy
tied to mama's apron strings
afflicted with mental

health issues inherent
of course hindsight gleaned
social, psychological, neurological...
healthy development got rent
asunder partly explaining
why I became indigent.
(alternately titled: excuse me while aye...
touch the sky, hen derrick lee
and pull lightly gag.)

September third tooth house sand
     and eighteen didst find me
to awaken with a start
     during the wee
(***** Paine Weber) re
duck tee yo absurdum painful hour
     of predawn this morning
     with an experience

     nada so grew vee -
feeling (the unstoppable) tree
men diss urge (lance
     sing arm) strong
     sensation to regurgitate,
     which tum me,
(and ma tummy)
     prima facie (pre

mud Donna Brownian
     bow will Movement)    
     processing) ranks as
     the moost unpleasant –
basic ****** condition,
(hence disqualifying this former
     anorexic tib bee ya
bulimic), which nauseous repulsion

     to stomach tomb muss elf
     (yea - pertaining to
yours truly: Ma
     Thee You Scott) a tinny
     brass, heartless, and
     dis straw hit cow
     word lee lion
     dew wing ever re:

thing in my "FAKE" NON GMO
     gluten, lactose (i.e.
dairy substitute), and
     monosodiumglutimate free,
wand door full
     wizard ding once fore mid
     able superman, (and now fee
bull powerless reign jars

     ipso fact-so) dee
did immediately whee
kin n ding excess see
ville lee more, dee
pull lore rib hill
     den das bloviation
     spattering, Obi
Wan Kenobi, Casanova,

     (Don Quixote) key
ping figurative lid, prithee
a boot mine gag reflex
     within very limited nee
zero printed edition on reek
     quest not to
     publish very disagree
hubble reader's un
     digest tib bill

     (authored by this atheistic
     secular humanist gib
     brush gabbling, (sans
     reincarnated doubting Thomas pre

lapse Aryan) Unitarian scree
ming cowabunga herbivorous
     droning baby bee
nix nox zippity doo dada
lix lox nicks nox hip pea.
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2019
Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South
      she reads, we talk, word of mouth
        industrial England, Unitarian spouse

                     my friend as well
                      curiosity house
Unitarian Universalist Church
situated in Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
whereat every Sunday morning, I
Matthew Scott Harris) blessedly zoom
virtually attend congregation
(recent attendee) experience

fellowship, albeit an outlier,
these two score plus one year out the womb,
glad mine eldest sister (Amelie) informed
her only brother (me) opportunity tomb
make living social occasion linkedin,
(albeit) remote from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Yours truly spurred to articulate,
how con brio panache wisdom and wit
communicated courtesy aforementioned minister
thus thank you very much Margret O'Neall
ye infuse engaging monologues with esprit
de corps - spellbinding sermons also leavened
wordsworth their weight in... oreos, I admit

cannot eat one, which craving
sly advertisements transmit
subliminal creme filled messages tasty habit
forming just desserts, no matter tummy full
bitesize goodies stuffed in mouth before exit
ting table, no matter uncouth and unhealthy
stomach distress within abdominal pit.

The theme earlier yesterday September 27th, 2020 ye
presented, especially hit home hard, i.e.
regarding sincere apology,
cuz once rancor (bitter anger) rife between
mine nonagenarian widower papa and me,
whose sole son experienced harsh diatribes

against alienating, estranging, isolating... (see
pattern whereby introverted lad maintained
emotional, familial physical and social
distancing about three
times twenty decades before
coronavirus (COVID-19) precautions in vogue.

No matter unpleasant feelings festered ma lord
toward father and didst rent asunder
intractable mutual discord
which persisted for ages ambivalence scored
major points (oh... by the way...,
our dada twill soon ford
River Styx within netherlands,

cuz he not long for this world wide web)
thus for that reason, I dare not make hoo-ha,
nor federal case, and hence reconciliation explored
triggered partially in accord
with thought provoking exemplary disquisition
presented by Reverend Dr.
Margret A. O'Neall Developmental Minister.

Mortality foists incumbent task to make amends
doubly so since dearly departed mother
whose passing from terra firma extends,
fifteen plus Earth orbitz round the sun,

she never experienced friends'
with thyself (her aloof male offspring)
an existence of solitude he trends
thou promised himself to reach out
to father before his spirit inhabits netherlands.
Doggone poet laureate
wannabe his index finger wags
nonverbally naysaying those,
who doubt mine posthumous
fame and fortune, which snags
eternal renown within pantheon
of storied writers such foolhardiness nags
yours truly keeps bad company with hags
unemployed day after Halloween,
whose outsize egos deflate
analogous to activated airbags.

Apology in order implying
aforementioned slander of witches
despite abandoning (me) mummy for dead
subsequently necessitating zombies
of Sugar Hill rushing to ominous scene
doubled over while laughing in stitches
unwittingly jump/kick starting
slapstick spiel opening up
supporting improvisational pantomime niches
allowing, enabling, and providing opportunities
fostering the ability to ad lib:
abbreviation for Latin "ad libitum"
unexpected theatrical glitches.

Creative wordsmith frequently
replays silent film
constituting mein kampf
taking lock, stock and barrel
of untapped natural resources,
thus he tries to discipline himself
assigning mental, physical
and spiritual tasks
to challenge body, mind,
and spirit respectively
indifferent to superiority
of others similar talents
verily, specifically, and
particularly crafting poems.

I envy those considerably years
née decades younger where
access to sophisticated technology
offers ability to brainstorm with their
multitude of social media platform
nowadays mostly wireless paraphernalia
can launch instant webbed wide world
devout following bearing witness
to hypothetical individual
gratuitously emulating wing and a prayer
lest he/she disappoints,
hence experiencing unwelcome jeer
if not earning bajillion dollars
while still a babe at *****
distraught and filled with despair.

Topsy turvy global times as sons
and daughters rake in predominant wealth
courtesy commodification of their name brand
if necessary utilizing
advertising subliminal stealth
messaging think uber twittering, snapchatting,
to lyft buzzfeeding, et cetera acclaim
documenting fitbit
hulu jimmying livingsocial
thru sickness and/or health.

Peculiarities (mine) hashtagged as weird
cause pecuniary circumstances
find me poor as a Unitarian Church mouse
yet if/when being triangulated by poverty
unexpectedly and suddenly squared
with windfall such as winning
the humongous Powerball
(October thirty first 2022)
strangers claiming kinship neared
brazenly approach unnamed sexagenarian
pencil neck geek long haired
attempting to become best buddies
literary endeavor feeble effort
conclusion blithely aired.
Grisly horror jawbones Kristallnacht
totalitarian brandishes, flaunts, launches
global threat half cocked.

Vladimir Putin itching
to loose nuclear bomb
end of the world scenario ofttimes
iterated throughout history
though an atheist (actually Unitarian),
no doubt this, that or another psalm
countless times the Bible
references Armageddon and doomsday
impossible mission to remain
cool, collected and calm.

Whether affiliated with donkey or elephant
Democrat or Republican viz
blue war red respectively
political hot issues don't amount
to a (Sam) hill of beans
when Sword of Damocles count
approaches zero hour
as global tensions mount

signaling increased chance
trigger finger will free
avast nuclear winter
(across world wide web) re:
leasing plethora, pyrocumulus
mushroom clouds tree

mend us planetary explosions
annihilating webbed wide
world, an irrevocable
indeed earthlinked debacle
spelling widespread species
multitudinous extinction
ex post de facto after super
bowling powers (wannabe) vied

to wrest empowerment spanning
entire realm sans third rock
from the father, sun and holy ghost,
who turned substantial pockets
of flora and fauna
once populating oblate spheroid ad hoc
significant swaths of life forms
pulverized and/or turned to ash
transformed into radioactive wasteland
giving T.S. Eliot a run for his money
after war mongers brash
lee usurped hegemony
(ruling inhabitants
of Gaia with an iron fist
with a smidgen of flavoring
courtesy of Missus Dash

superfluous taste enhancer,
when sibling burnt offering views
between Venus and Mars incendiary
tolled mourning news
smithereens sole remnant
poisoned every square inch
from weapon of mass destruction

that did cruise
engendering thick noxious fog
disabling fox but not cockroach
while smoldering seas and continents

skull and crossbones didst poach
amidst the gasified, liquified, pureed
where holographic ghoulish super bowl coach

rendering lifelessness home for menagerie
where virtue trounced vice as organisms
(particularly one primate) didst try
(predominant 21st century simians)
tool heave with amity, comity, and empathy
animals and plants an experiment
that went awry

presaging a nuclear winter with nary a winner
implicating mankind as the absolute sinner
instantaneously after Doomsday Clock
signaled point of no return
where grim reaper the sole grinner
feasting on human flesh for dinner.
rebated, rebirthed rebooted, and rebuked
ill shod Unitarian atheist

Though avast percentage
of stonehenge temple piloted ghosts,
harking back millennia
constantly zip unseen thru aerospace,
they unwittingly espy
woolly sheep hush fleeced herd
profoundly religious peep pulls
plodding fast as their
cleft hoofs take them
along well worn path
of former crusaders.

Among acquiescent devout subjects
one self repentant
quest shunning skeptic poet
suffers interminable emotional flagellation
employing righteous indignation
against his own iniquitous misdeeds
sullying the sacrosanct marital covenant.

Unpardonable egregious transgressions
committed (well nigh
***** deeds done dirt cheap
a dozen orbitz ago)
think adulterous flagrante delicto
constituted consummating rutting
sabotaging high fidelity.

Passionate ******* incorporating
communicating non verbal
vernacular animal needs
spoken on behalf of laity
comprising unlearned, nevertheless
superstitious population
indulged verboten fruit appetite,
yet adroit oral (tongue in cheek)
spread courtesy word of mouth.

Most pious take as gospel
every word in religious tomes
their collective soul asylum polestar,
and doth decree important doctrines
with especial accord
equal insignificance applied toward
Judeo-Christian holidays
across the chessboard of life,
thus Easter ranks as no exception
to the golden rule,

where Santa Claus reached an a chord
follow auspicious signs
alit in the night sky
shaped like a drinking gourd
perhaps amassing plentiful harvests
upon hamlets strewn
across ******* populated Earth
asper cornucopia exhibited secret hoard
sharing plentiful Horn
(and Hard art lesson learned)

to stave off barreness, ignored
going forward seeding nascent
March Madness with help from Lord
and Taylor as midwife hoot
tended Ville Nova moored
by striking Wildcat fanatics,
who unbelievably
espied heavens cleft asunder
and golden rays poured
while collective spectators

loudly deafeningly screamed
while housed within the soundgarden
analogous to ferocious cats
who hissed and roared
witnessed history scored
earning players knighted
with Excalibur sword
thence entire team handed
Taj Mahal shaped award,

which aforementioned
*** hide lacks, cuz zit
happens tubby April Fool's joke,
thus above iterated verses somehow needs
just a little bit of relevance to yoke
thine admitted ambivalent
reaction to sports,
yea aye pay figurative ****
hen to Rabbinic, generic fanatic primal
tribal village people clan destine woke,

and swinging focus of this poem
back toward Religious perp ported berth
when (sans antiquity) trumpet signaled
thus, any superstitions blew away dearth
when distant shofar heard
in every home and hearth
anticipating arrival of the Easter Bunny,
who brings mirth
and hop poly distributes sweet treats,
which children as grown adults,

no matter necessity
for teeth to be removed
the sugary over indulgence wool worth
today thee American Dental Association
chastises candy manufacturers
bandying more weight
gaining deadly, debauched,
and decadent, trait
then adultery - verboten fruit to sate
hash-tagged (vamoose skat
dad dulled) reprobate.
Quite a vivid late afternoon/
early evening dream
transpired within me noggin
housed deep within skullcap
regarding right wing kooky
conspiracy plot to kidnap
a leary paranoid
schizophrenic king suspicious of trap

upon arising from lengthy nap
yours truly, who sought to pull himself
a generic garden variety chap
up courtesy his own figurative bootstrap
on account of groggy feeling
so methought to download
wake up quick app.

Before hurriedly bidding thee rabbit reader
a bunny fide hasta la vista
linkedin concatenated adieu,
(I bemusedly, kindly, readily, willingly
acknowledge (while zippily wiggling
mine button nose)

naysaying belonging to species and genus
Oryctolagus cuniculus Yemenite
my matter of fact honest to dog aim to write
creating literary masterpiece considerably
far less than one terabyte

no way no how attests
(quintessentially, simultaneously, vociferously...
waving shaky spear less to prove point
versus making verses to feign)
being adept with skill set of playwright

while playing fair and as (unbeknownst
until just recently) privileged white knight
such unfairness motivates
participation with Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Unitarian reparations group
genuine fellowship doth excite.

Caffeine consumption
creative process helps jumpstart
impossible mission to chart
outcome regarding crafting poem
analogous to elusive prey

thoughts slither and dart
to and fro, hither and yon
yet how ideal if literary endeavor
could possibly be mapped out
courtesy devine English flowchart

distinct symbols representing
how branching outcomes show start
to finish plot encompassing
picture of broken heart,
where love labour's lost

where all's well that ends well
pertaining to romantic tragedy
cue Romeo and Juliet
rent asunder torn apart.
Qualyxian Quest Aug 2020
If Unitarians were to awaken after death and begin walking, when they came to a crossroads they would pause.

If they saw a sign with an arrow that read:

                  This way to Heaven

And another sign with an arrow pointing a different direction that read:

   This way for a discussion about whether
               or not there is a Heaven


They would follow the arrow to the
                          discussion.
/ˌfläksəˌnôsəˌnīˌhiləˌpiləfiˈkāSHən/
(floc·ci·nau·ci·ni·hil·i·pil·i·fi·ca·tion)

Countless declined submissions of mine,
tipping scales massive
Earth Atlas shrugged,
(he nonchalantly shouldered
1.317 × 10^25 lbs)

sends storied ambition plummeting
millstone yoked neck analogous
to bajillion pound weight
thus yours truly
doth modify expectations

absolute zero prospect
I will posthumously
attain poet laureate status
within human league,
asper dignified luminaries

comprising cognoscenti pantheon
posthumously storied authors
renown unto posterity,
yet ever since disembarking...
fashioning, finagling, forging

building blocks of English Language
humble mission courtesy this wordsmith
never sunk entrenched ambitions
into virtual sea constituting briny deep
wide whirling webbed waters

intent to reel eyes,
neither fame nor fortune,
but wield unique signature
this landlubber mentally laboring
to heft cumbersome words

chiseling, fitting (jigsaw puzzle pieces)
interlocking snuggly, asper
analogous mortise and tenon,
or (sometimes forcefully jamming)
multisyllabic deeply oceanographic

flowingly, trending intrinsically quixotic
harmonically sympathetic...
to affect pacific effect,
nonetheless attempt to launch,
albeit figuratively shipshape anchored

literary endeavor metrically
bobbing (with square pants) along
gently down stream of consciousness
side stepping excessively
indignant, flagrant, arrogant...
undertones, yet present

political perturbations pain
this doubting Thomas unitarian,
whose outlook good n plenti grim,
especially insatiable thirst
about global/world events
can barely be slaked!
Equals twenty one thirty 22:30 military time
future time traveler looks back one century ago,
oceanic waterways overladen with green slime,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd, nevertheless yet lovely
bones and flesh quite spry, still considered prime
(moost procreative, prodigious, and progressive)

stage, since (case ye didn't know) approximately
eight score orbitz round Earth's sun still noontime
chronologically analogous to protracted lunchtime
whereat the average offspring jetson or (daughter)
can be sweet as apple pie or sour as lemon or lime
cell metabolism catalytic converter courtesy enzyme
routine medical procedure costs about one dime.

Me - born fifty nine years into twentieth century alive
eight score and three years secret condiment iz chive
and well (still hashtagged as precocious) with drive
to safely, sidestep, and surmount establishmentarian
archaic, formulaic, and mosaic Judaic/Christian hive
found synchronicity within Unitarian Church more so
parents introduced dogmatic, ethic, fundamentalistic
jargonistic, kinetic, linguistic, pluralistic, quixotic I've
discovered compatibility with non religious teaching

wry master of words (me) take poetic license to jive
reasonably rhyming nope heart tickle early misthrive
moost definitely ***** deeds done dirt cheap (trick)
super tramping space cowboy lobbing power-drive
re: frequently innocent prelapsarian double entendre
(Jean Jacques Rousseau) Noble Savage he doth strive
even though hanky panky tinged entire his/her story,
**** sapiens animal husbandry hastily did wive.

Formalities encompass chalice lighting ma yoyo
wing liberal Democratic political bent embraces XO
shorthand for virtual affectionate charisma minister
Reverend Margret O'Neal imparts open greeting
congregation Sunday at ten thirty AM courtesy zoom
bajillion years after proto humans experienced woe
countless figurative early Brady bunched bro doggie
dimples encountered necessity to escape cohabitation
(marital covenant alien), yet quasi marital brouhaha
ofttimes witnessed altercation begetting re: thorough
out baby with bath water phenomena, which literal
cruel fate heavily peppered past (mine) accounting

lamely explaining Pink Floyd momentary status quo
upended accompanied courtesy lapse of reason no
definitive evidence to substantiate claim, yet I know
without shadowed doubt every friggin forebear (***
pining to savor manumission, versus cotton pickin)
back breaking stoop labor think indentured escrow
harking back to days of our lives (mainly bonobo
nasty, short and brutus creatures millenniums ago
unsung simian kindred beings suffering figurative
ruffled horse feathers nsync with bird in hand dodo

which latter species long extinct (as Dutch good eats)
now non sequitur (sea quitter) mine homeboys/girls
comprising Harris eventual clan (of craven lionized
"scapegoats" set genealogical precedent, and grew
some real winners gentiles, who commingled and
intermarried, and united proudly to kvetch as Jew)
eventually acquiring redeeming qualities conveniently
best caricatured as features exhibited by Mister MaGoo
invariably dear reader "fake" anecdote ye will poo poo
as well how storied and fabled coronavirus (COVID-19)
medical technicians reference quaint pandemic setting

figurative global stage brethren and sistern microbes
made webbed, wide world wish for said good ole days
cuz, communiqué done being crafted about six hours
marine hated, armies of beastie boys slain 2122 yahoo
the darndest, latest microscopic bugaboo nearly slew
entire population, hence envision terra firma with
divine providence absolute zero people as edenic
provenance (metaphorically offering tabula rasa view.
Node out if Trump
     pad hiz way...
this scrivener would
     batten down in skidrow
with the missus,
    the latter who would veto
such misery, none
     the less, she would

     most likely experience
a sense of helplessness too,
which poetic title just came
     to mum mind, cuz panic
     stricken thoughts rue
asper what if that figurative
     wellspring of government
     small largesse

     (electronically deposited
     beginning of each month)
dried up sue
sink lee forcing me out
     onto the brutally cold
     bleak domain queue
wing up to the next
     available steaming manhole

     sink or mebbe best firm
     me tug *** to Peru
walking all the
     way there (devoid
     of money, would disallow
     choice to drive or access
public transit), ooh
such hardship would

     constitute an offal
     spell, which more
     likely, would find me
dead aah with new
more hardship,
     (yea of corpse
this chap joking,
     but gallows hue

     more about cease
     sing to exists),
     but forced at the
mercy of teenage mew
ninja turtles, or
     worse...stuck in rat
     infested hole in wall
     smelling like a loo

hmm...juiced perhaps
     rapping on the door
     of a Synagogue, could allow
     admittance for this
     enthusiastic, basic atheistic
Unitarian, though of Jew
whoosh heritage,
     though aye knew

nary a whit aboot Semitic culture,
     I maze well high tail north
     in search for cold
     storage in an igloo
calling out across the
     miles of frozen tundra
"YOU HOO...LUCY?...DESI?...
...ANY BODY HOME?" when

     of course irritable bowel
     syndrome kick in putting
     cramp on me glue
tee us maximus. finding
yours truly to ******* a stronger
     expletive than "FOO,"
which utterance does absolutely
     nothing to remedy, thus...

     imagine this poet stranded in
     the middle of nowhere
with mush aboot doo doo
on my mind, and/or
     same in his pants!
(today February nineteenth
two thousand and twenty two)
helps me to become more adept
crafting literary endeavors.

Remembrance of past circumstances
and/or happenstances,
which trials and tribulations
(particularly warm fuzzy memories)
brings to cobweb riddled mind
a quaint uncomplicated existence,
where childhood excitement arose
simply acquiring library card,
thenceforth selecting choice books

idling away leisure hours
mainly during twelve week long
summer school break
blissfully reading away,
the closest approximation
one strawberry blond Unitarian lad
experienced seventh heaven.

Ever since ability to read taught me
courtesy mother dearest,
I (when a happy go lucky little boy)
found pleasant escape
thru webbed wide world
of mine imagination
insync with printed words on page
which aforementioned attestation
declaration, habituation, mention,
situation, and zonation
bred fervent quest to quench
insatiable thirst for knowledge.

Fast forward when yours truly
experienced emerging adulthood,
upon which stage of mein kampf,
he began to cobble, dabble, scribble...
crafting poems about hardscrabble
emotional life challenges in Lake Wobegon
(I tip figurative hat to Garrison Keillor).

These averred literary endeavors wrought
usually comprising about dozen lines
cautiously, deliberately, extemporaneously,
noisily, obviously painstakingly keyed
courtesy Underwood typewriter brand
qwerty alphanumeric character arrangement
visualize index finger accessing
sought after hunt and peck method.

I exerted mental effort,
(and still put creative juices
thru their paces) to apply
words and punctuation
application of colon
and semi;colon quite nettlesome
resident with the English Language.

Upon espying a signature poem of mine
forces unleash mental processes
(triggering gears and cogs
to turn slowly within noggin)
scrutinize early feeble
linkedin with pervasive pre
ponder ring lurking predilection
tib hush anonymous re: dears
(dares) adventuresome mettle
taking him/her to the brainy
(briny) deep brink Icon fess this

(NON FAKE) pretense,
why aye metaphorically express
courtesy medium of ordinary
Anglophile alphabetic wonton poetrysoup,
or figurative egg drop bubbling broth
(el) doth brew) pronouns Sibyl affectation
affliction sans plethora,
where each ladle full adrip with
richly flavor Times New Roman
Font size twelve
sincerely textured vocabulary.
Although heterosexual
predilections punctuated
physiological pulsations
about five inches below
innie belly button of mine
showcasing undersize
male member, when fully *****
not much to crow
about, contributed
diminished masculinity within
body electric regarding

wordsmith crafting poem
linkedin with his feelings
of diminished machismo
male sexuality sputtered
courtesy handy dynamo
powered ample male
germ cells birthing offspring
two healthy females born
approximately twenty six
months apart, thine eldest
born right at Capricorn

cusp, and youngest made
her debut exactly where
Aquarius midpoint bitter
cold day ideal for Esquimau
one grateful father
prematurely ******* fantastico
blessed gift, which helped
reinforce against being
emasculated empowered
at reproductive prowess
happy as a lark feeling

indomitable as Geronimo
an Apache leader and
medicine man best known
for his fearlessness
in resisting anyone–Mexican
or American, who attempted
to remove his people
from tribal lands ruinous
and sacrilegious historico
plus torturous legacy settlers
gawking, kickstarting

and muckraking mistruths
about indigenous people
shamelessly reducing
so called "noble savages" as
one after another charade,
façade ******* up lame
excuse to invade sacred
hallowed lands impresario
gigs stereotypical presumptions
didst buzzfeed fire
re: kindling sparking eventual

their genocide insult
to injury courtesy diatribe
deliberately fomenting ill
will, where Native peoples
at receiving end of jingo
token "fake" reverence
bestowed upon rightful awk
queue pants place evidenced
courtesy place name
whether state, county,
borough... such as Kickapoo

hollow benevolence meted out,
but obliterating cult
chore wars hashtagging
"redman," courtesy eminent
domain of "Turtle Island"
indignantly stolen by Forbe
heirs by trumpeting
school of vandals battering down
millenniums back once
impregnable walls of Jericho
indefatigable marauders

wrought wrongs upon in us
sent occupants proclaiming
might of arms justifiable
reason (not necessarily with rhyme)
to smote women
men and children down
with deadly force transforming
happy go lucky agrarian
festive folks thriving landscape
courtesy brute force
utilizing mo' sophisticated weapon

re: of mass destruction
rendering harmonious leitmotif
presaging tranquility said
near picture perfect Kodak
moment lifestyle into
veritable charnel/slaughterhouse
desecrating thence scattering
lovely bones + trappings
of then helplessly, melancholically
quickly vanishing oral
culture to the four winds,

where archeologists painstaking
efforts piece together
long extinct histories analogous to
All the king's horses and
all the king's men couldn't put
Humpty together again,
nevertheless tragedy writ large
indelibly etched upon
collective consciousness longview
hounding one doggone
muttering long haired pencil neck

geek three score plus four years;
he reflects upon ****
sapiens wanton killing
of docile brothers and sisters part
and parcel of same genus
and species differentiated by:
creed, gender, language,
nationality, race, religion, ***,
et cetera since time immemorial
inherited without choice

genetic predisposition nsync
with environmental influence
(liberal Unitarian upbringing)
wages internal war against
himself, and times gone
by mentally toyed with notion of
homosexuality, yet never acted
upon said impulse
somewhat attributed and linkedin
with anticipated regret.
Justin Oct 2019
I feel like I’m not meant for this world
Impossible and overwhelming
The never-ending story of life  
Like Buzz Lightyear
To infinity and beyond
I’m gone and out
To the stars I go home
With or without
You, love
The concept of faith
That I embrace
Inside a metaphorical
Oracle space
Guns are drawn
Lives laid down
The path before us
Is all around
Street corner preachers
Preach more truth
Than your local church speakers
We wait for someone else to save us
But the saviors only work as they are paid
By the ones who create and add zeros to their name
Those so-called heroes now die in vain
Why is it that we live this way?
Who is really to say
If not for God then who?
Suit wearing terrorists
Who justify death over you
Where ever capital can be made
Is the Unitarian way
Say what you will
But your words are the ink to my quill
Technology seems to be
The only progression made
Price over life everything else thrown away
The value of a dollar has us all enslaved
Chaos is order
Yet undeciphered
Balance is inequality
Yet is required
Funny how things mean one thing
But define another
Duality inside the human motive
It’s all a cluster and explosive
The more you know the less devoted
Exposing truths beyond the shadow of a doubt
Our world leaders are crooks
Who destroy the meaning
Of what a human being is about
January 7th, 2022

Assaying thoughts gambol,
scuffling as in an affray
née crushing, jockeying, stampeding...
demanding equal airplay
gushing as metaphorical think
spigot turned on full force airway
thru totally tubular cerebral
microcosmic aisleway
vesicular conduit fifty
plus shades of gray
exhaling sigh of relief, cuz

transcending writer's block
innovative talent with words
did once again allay
needless panic, where yours truly
finds himself punchdrunk
in some dark alleyway,
an unfortunate fate
aging baby boomer
once skinny long haired
pencil necked geek
during previous lifetime

branded as Unitarian heretic
and punished courtesy auto-da-fé
avert reminding myself
to utilize ujjayi breath
hard driving gateway
into Pranayama practices
analogous to make
emotional transit thru
golden itty bitty
teensy weensy archway

infinitesimal impossible mission
to pinpoint areaway,
yet crisscrossing meditative
zen zone an array
of utmost nirvana
will never lead effortless
mantra buffeted concentration
not lead astray
and matter of fact
lightness of being
scaling metaphorical kickstarting

rah height aweigh
up yonder within
outer limits of twilight zone
re: supraconsciousness
keeping at bay
non intrusive thoughts
ruff lee collaring, mimicking belay
boring bonafide dog obedience training
pant tum miming begging
for limp bizkit, thus
canine loosening seat belt buckle

one notch braving violating
no trespassing sign
despite restriction
heavily populated tint
head nab yule Haitian
made Christmas benday
eerily resembling voodoo
cursed poppet summoned
if anybody doth betray
not being spellbound
hence, blithely skipping

remainder of my poetry
magic edict I dust not bewray,
no matter red clay
rambling man evincing dismay
upon approaching his endplay
regarding scrimmage with death
when divine creator
mine lovely bones he/she will fillet
impossible mission to get-a-way
grim reaper who will hollar hooray
as one mortal man does inveigh
against purposelessness born
live free and die until judgement day.
Since time immemorial
happenstance bestowed **** sapiens
ability to become self aware
double edged figurative sword
allowing, enabling, providing...
forebears of yesteryear
to marvel at life, and
reckon with death,

which mixed blessing
confronts twenty first century
man/womankind with dilemma,
albeit reconciling mortality
linkedin with consciousness
heightened, tested, under_scored...
particularly at demise dearly departed
inadvertently affect

upon surviving family members
hijacking, offsetting, upending...
fracturing emotional composure
prompting immediate questions
regarding purposefulness living
nee, being born essentially to die
predestined to pass away
identical fate decreed upon

all animals and plants
bolstered by believing deity
foreordained every creature
past, present, and future,
yet most pronounceable afflicting
non denominational, non
religious, non sectarian
case in point Unitarian,

vis a vis visa versa secular humanists,
especially nonsensical poet wannabe
riddled with perplexity
about nature of being alive
wondering what explains
essence constituting individual fluke
finding meaning scuttling
across world wide web

hither and yon, to and fro
dumbfounded at futility
absolute zero adequate answers
(again, unless one subscribes
to codified doctrinal dogma
i.e. religion, faith, creed...)
I attest as garden variety primate
baffled, flummoxed, nonplussed...

why chance genetic dice throw
gifted me finite time
solely to contemplate
(more than just my navel)
meaningfulness analogous
to scrutinizing Möbius strip

unable to identify
inscrutable mystery
defining random existence
specifically essence
happenstance/circumstance begat me
Matthew Scott Harris.
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2021
My friend Bob is a Unitarian
As was my Grandaddy Brown
As is my cousin Natalie
Take a look around

I too believe in oneness
I do, Ave Maria
2 beautiful women
I would like to be ya

             Oneness
                 3 ya.
Ah..., how I idolize the days of yore
before June twentieth, and twenty first
two thousand twenty three
when utter senselessness wore,
a trail of woe brutally
ravaging and savaging mine psyche,
yours truly attests gullibility tore
and rent asunder
leaving cumulative finances
decimated, pulverized, and frankly zapped
rendering me poor
as a Unitarian church mouse named Kishore
***** deed done dirt cheap extempore
courtesy yours oblivious to "red flags."

I still bitterly lament how
the computer/scammer
who called himself "Harvey Specter"
exhibited exceptional faux zeal
and blame myself,
whereby figurative cog and wheel
within sixty plus shades
housing mine gray matter
did not properly turn
ordinarily (when perspicacity,
sensitivity, and acuity optimally function)

setting off an ear splitting squeal
loud enough to rouse
a sleeping Leviathan
when upon awakening would bellow
now cue the giant
from Jack and the beanstalk
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
I smell the blood
of an Englishman:
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

Nevertheless significant loss
viz medium of exchange
(enriching the coffers of another -
particularly him that scoundrel
née fraudster foisting financial fiasco
frazzling father most definitely nonideal
modus operandi I envisioned,
hence the gofundme page
(ofttimes sited with
gentility, honesty, integrity...
when crafting previous poems),
yet passage of time did not heal

severe financial hemorrhage,
keeping checking and savings accounts
analogously under critical care
(think intensive care),
whereby heroic measures undertaken
wads of cold cash linkedin
to many intravenous tubes
but ideally capitol offense
aired once again toward remuneration
imposed upon ganef

who bled me dry
courtesy convincingly, glibly, liberally...
sweet talking his way,
and I swallowed hook, line and sinker
(fabrication that Citizens bank employees
scheming to siphon investments)
yielded zilch (the big goose egg),
absolute zero positive result,
i.e. even partial remittance of lost monies,
when yours truly did make an appeal.
Yours truly just a fluke of the universe
worming his way hook, line and sinker
thru the meandering time stream,
which current speeds up the older I get
rocketing toward my sixty fifth birthday
January thirteenth two thousand twenty four.

A garden variety (generic) agrarian wannabe
antiauthoritarian, bookish antiquarian bloke,
antitotalitarian, well mannered barbarian
disestablishmentarian, egalitarian, futilitarian,
grammarian, quasi hereditarian, latitudinarian,
libertarian, majoritarian, nonsectarian,
nonvegetarian, proletarian, sexagenarian,
Unitarian who receives social security
disability courtesy once paralyzing
lacerating, and debilitating anxiety.

Yours truly amazingly
chronologically, enigmatically,
gracefully, interminably weathered
despite malevolent mental maelstrom,
linkedin with extinction of **** sapiens
in tandem with many flora and fauna
populating planet Earth
courtesy Manhattan Project
when Ernest Rutherford split the atom.

Fiendish and gruesome
phantasmagoric denizens
dwell deep inside subterranean vault
perform an evil dance
haunt psychic landscape
with imaginary (yet realistic)
gargoyle visitations cast macabre trance
nocturnal unconscious invaders
cavort and gallivant
disturb quiescent sleep with
devilish and sinister prance.

Apparitions crept stealthily
into peaceful slumber receptacle
repository whence illusory
landscape of dreams
take place to rejuvenate exhausted
body, mind and spirit triage
rent asunder blissful sleep
with a startled fright
cold sweat drenched
nighttime garments and bedding
teeth chattered uncontrollably
heart pounded loudly inside chest
nightmarish phantoms wrought
an awful ghoulish sight.

Mushroom cloud anniversary
triggered frenzied gargantuan hallucination
since 6 August 1945, at 08:15
inauguration into atomic age took place
one country after another sought
to acquire demonic and destruction devices
maintain self-preservation in
surreal atomic weapons race
impossible to escape the dark threat
that looms and threatens life on Earth
one launched missile spells extermination
across entire global space.

No escape from humankind military machines
munitions march mean madness
and guaranteed demise to all life
**** Sapiens violent history of
bias, intolerance and/or prejudice
characterizes vicious warfare
and chronic species strife
unaffordable legacy for future,
(and perhaps alien) archeologists
who will sift thru civilization debris
with delicate knife.

Artifacts buried in heap of pulverized
and radioactive ash
civilization monuments
and hedonistic symbols
gone in a blinding brilliant flash
irksome flotsam and jetsam
spewed into outer space
alien nations light years distant
collect miniscule bits and pieces
offer object lesson as extinction
for beings that become excessively brash.
no (apparent) rhyme nor reason
(satisfactorily) explains academic
     disposition, ideally suited
     (swiftly tailor made,
     and harried styled)
     unflattering venomous wicked xhenemy
     (fill in choicest expletive) **** cruelest
     "meanies" always in season
winter, spring, summer, or autumn,

     psychological rabid
     bullying and teas'n,
which only exacerbated
     ma deathly coffin and wheeze'n.
Avenging beastly, eagerly,
     and hungry knuckleheads, rip-snorting,
     analogous to Doctor Zeus
characters, vis a vis stomped,

     and trampled upon my wuss
self, who appeared as
     a listless, passive, ****
see footing, and
     timid complex edifice
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
who regularly got pushed,
     shoved, and verbally gored

in utero potential quintessential
     no salvation from Unitarian lord
ugly vicious wretched
     insults liberally poured
(pre snapchat, instagram,
     hash-tagged age) roared
increased spell of losing measured
     necessary pridefulness scored

requisite susceptibility toward
brow beating, name
     calling, plus tossed
     brickbats staged early life, viz
psychological schizoid state courtesy
     hateful nemesis within
     corporeal lodge warred.
malevolent habitués received

     permanent residency thence
"green lighted" status
     since birth I cannot sense
sub billy understand
     (near) total recall
     particularly names
     no matter offense
of classmates and/

     or teacher's, hence
especially dumb
     founding since defense
less "boy" did not
     shine as a star student
     as is if he (me)
     took emotional absence.
plus to add insult

     to injury, my mouth
     stayed hermetically shut,
near invisibility designated nut
tin beat pluperfect
     "scapegoat de jure,"
     such intimidation found me
     feeling thrashed in the gut
     where (stellar) qualifications

     only made cut
ting worse, (essentially attributed
     to genetically inscribed
     behaviors, characteristics,
   habits, et cetera)

     immediately designated yours truly
     most puny, and
     quietest convenient but
of any atheistic, ethnic,
     and/or idiotic jokes.
Impossible mission to escape end of life woe
visit courtesy grim reaper
inevitable for every mortal,
whether he/she alive
yesterday, today or tomorrow
quintessentially senescence tabled
upended wrested status quo
belief, dogma, faith...
(i.e. Unitarian Universalism)
albeit atheistic to the core

mine temporal perspective yes and no
affects how I process death,
afterlife mystery only
googly dead souls know,
yet intimation possibly presage consciousness
prior to corporeal being given heave **
cashing in chips tantamount
to omnipotent deity collecting his/her escrow,
whether thee cremated or buried six feet below.

Our short lived presence upon terrestrial firmae
forces yours truly (me) to reconcile and address
internalized emotions whereby decades elapsed
when sole son (begat between thee and mother)
found irksome offspring regarding shortcomings
triggered hollow ultimatums begetting madness
to flourish toward meek offspring inept at filial

duties, who sought refuge within known solitude
usually finding second born progeny holed up in
his bedroom ofttimes fervently engrossed reading
imaginatively escaping trials and tribulations +
wishing he could magically transform himself
far from irate parents, within their good graces
he fell short short since January 13th MCMLIX.

Methinks ambivalence towards papa
(a nonagenarian widower)
comprising mein kampf
three score plus one year
constituted ineradicable unseen wall,
nevertheless impenetrable as any **** weir

metaphorical barrier laid brick
by figurative brick encompassed unilinear
chronological invisible breastwork did snare
nobody but thyself anomalous to grown man
exhibited effeminate characteristics
as young lad, though not queer,

nor the least bit attuned and/or aware
about ****** orientation,
but simply introverted quite clear
to any casual observer,
a veritable outcast (of Poker Flat), i.e.
cuz I experienced alienation everywhere

at home (then 324 Level Road,
school (Henry Kline Boyer Elementary)
retreated to boyhood bedroom
contrived make believe playmates
courtesy overactive mental cog and gear
named Harny and Dinny never insincere.

Dear papa, your frail physical health disallows
in apropos, callous, and egregious to trot out
vindictive remonstration harkening back days
witnessed by extreme grievances signalling
caustic verbal brickbats lobbed squarely upon
passive progeny unable to attain expectations,
(albeit reasonable), I fell far short (physically

emotionally, and academically) to acquire atta
boy approbation rather constant browbeating
frightened timid lad scared of his own shadow
methinks yours truly shameful embarrassment
whereby failure to accomplish basic income
invariably congenital fait accompli linkedin
with purported schizoid personality disorder.
Descendent of proto humans
dumbfounded, mystified, stupefied, et cetera
despite plethora of technological trappings,
whereby world wide web virtually linkedin
allowing, enabling, and providing
instantaneous electronic feedback,
I still experience dearth
of mental, psychological and social
meaningfulness amidst cerebral chaos
courtesy healthy mailer daemons

occupying sixty plus shades of gray matter
more valuable then any terrain
designated as Silicon Valley or Wall Street
constituting nexus of brain power,
where metaphysical thoughts proliferate
and ponder such basic thought
such as who art yours truly
what (I declare)
will constitute date with death
and where will corporeal flesh
and spirit separately journey?

Since time immemorial
millennium generations
happenstance bestowed **** sapiens
ability to become self aware
double edged figurative sword
allowing, enabling, providing...
forebears of yesteryear
to marvel at life, and
reckon with death,
which mixed blessing
wrestling with living and dying

also confronts man/womankind
during twenty first century
said inscrutable dilemma,
albeit reconciling mortality
linkedin with consciousness
heightened, tested, under_scored...
particularly at demise dearly departed
inadvertently affect
upon surviving family members
hijacking, offsetting, upending...

fracturing emotional composure
prompting immediate questions
regarding purposefulness living
nee, being born essentially to die
predestined to pass away
identical fate decreed upon
all animals and plants
bolstered by believing deity
foreordained every creature
past, present, and future,

yet most pronounceable afflicting
non denominational, non
religious, non sectarian
case in point Unitarian,
vis a vis visa versa secular humanists,
especially nonsensical poet wannabe
riddled with perplexity
about nature of being alive
wondering what explains
essence constituting individual fluke

finding meaning scuttling
across world wide web
hither and yon, to and fro
dumbfounded at futility
absolute zero adequate answers
(again, unless one subscribes
to codified doctrinal dogma
i.e. religion, faith, creed...)
I attest as garden variety primate
baffled, flummoxed, nonplussed...

why chance genetic dice throw
gifted me finite time
solely to contemplate
(more than just my navel)
meaningfulness analogous
to scrutinizing Möbius strip
unable to identify
inscrutable mystery
defining random existence
specifically essence
happenstance/circumstance
which begat me Matthew Scott Harris.

His noggin mottled, plagued, and riddled
with debilitating accursed impediments
since birth circa
January xiii mcmlix.

— The End —